School's killing me

VIII. Joy

Joy went to the cafeteria, got two big chocolate cookies (one for Patricia and one for her), a cup of coffee for the redhead and found the answers to the universe on their ceiling and Patricia was still on the bathroom.

She kept rolling her sleeves, and caressing her scars. It was an old habit, passing her fingers over the injury to feel the small bump the scar left. She also, for some unknown sick reason, liked seeing her scars. It fascinated her but it also made her so damn angry. She adored the crimson red the cuts had and the scar already forming on the smallest of the recent self-injuries. She felt sad, angry, frustrated because she couldn't. She couldn't drop the fucking razor. She couldn't throw them away, she would but something in her told her to keep them (because you never know when you'll need something).

And maybe, she realized, she could. She could do it all, she just wouldn't. After all her problems weren't impossible to solve (plus she believed everything was possible). Ever heard when they tell teenagers they can't drink, they're wrong! They sure can they just shouldn't. Joy's problem was quite similar. While something told certain teenagers there was no fun without some booze, something told Joy she needed her razor blades. Something told her that to live more days she need to destroy herself.

So her eyes stayed on the blank ceiling, because if she found the answers to the universe, maybe she could find the answers to a creature from another universe, Joy Mercer.

—

Patricia came out just 10 minutes later (her mobile had already vibrated 3 times, Joy counted them)

She looked at her roommate staring at the ceiling and wondered why, but let it passed because she did the same.

Patricia had realised that Joy was that friend she never had. Throughout her primary years her only friend was her sister (Piper's friends were just mere company) but by secondary, she was sent away to some music boarding school and Patricia was sent to a boarding school on Liverpool, her parents called one time per term and sent her money once a month (she didn't complain about that). And on that boarding school she befriended Jerome, who led to other "freaks" as they had been labeled. But even if there were a lot of "freaks", she still felt alone. The only one there who she considered a friend was Jerome.

But here, it was all so different. She had actual friends (with Joy and possibly Jerome being a bit over the others). People she liked and could count on.

Throughout her life she had always had that feeling. One of those feelings you just can't explain. She missed someone. Every time she felt down, she'll stare at her phone, and she'll look through her contacts and she won't find that person she needed to hear. Jerome was the closest to it but Joy... Joy's it.

She remembered 6th grade, and that one time Piper wanted to go to the cinema with her friends. And she was allowed, if she took Patricia with her. They ended up watching some boring movie, and later they went to an ice cream shop. Patricia had to bear with preppy girls talking about a cotton candy flavoured lip-gloss.

But right now she felt like she finally belonged.

—

Joy turned her head slightly to find Patricia staring at her, the redhead smiled and walked to her bed. She started putting her combat boots on as her phone buzzed again.

"You could have answered these, y'know?" Patricia said

"I was going to but it was blocked" Joy replied whilst she searched for her own mobile phone

"Oh right..." she whispered as she tied her laces. "Do I look okay?"

"You look nice, yeah" said Joy who thought Patricia looked more than nice. Joy envied Patricia; she always looked great.

The redhead smiled.

2 minutes later they were leaving their room.

3 more and they met Jerome, who complained about their lateness.

Eddie sent a vague smile to Patricia who acted like she didn't care and went on to discuss something with Jerome and Alfie (who was louder than ever).

2 minutes more and they were heading to the ice skate rink.

—

Joy tied the laces on her skates and groaned slightly; on their way Joy had managed to ask Eddie about Patricia, which he didn't have the chance to answer since the blonde Amber interrupted. While they had been waiting to pay so they could get in, Joy had also lost her chance when Fabian thought it'll be a good idea to converse with his roommate. Eventually she gave up and decided to at least try to enjoy herself.

They got on the rink just minutes after and everyone laughed at Alfie, who lost his balance as soon as he got in.

On one hand you had Alfie and Mick who seemed to never have ice-skated before.

And on the other hand you had Nina and Jerome and Eddie, who would have thought they could skate?

The rest of them were somewhere in the middle. They weren't as bad as Alfie but not as good as Nina. They fell and they laughed. They slipped and Patricia would curse at the goddamned ice. And everyone would have a smile plastered on their faces. All of them seemed so free, so carefree. Joy liked it; Joy liked the view.

She had a tendency to think too much, and when she thought she lost concentration and when she wasn't concentrating she fell.

Joy felt the cold floor colliding with the side of her right leg and seconds later with her butt; it was freezing to say the least. A small chuckled was heard behind of her and a hand reaching out for her was seen, she of course took it. Jerome grabbed her wrist (she flinched) and pulled her up; she noticed his smile wavering as he noticed her discomfort. He doesn't say a single word as he skates off.

Minutes later their time on the rink is over so they have to leave. When they're taking their skates off Joy listened into everyone's conversation. Somehow every little separate conversation ended up in a big one; something about a party at Mick's since he was the only one who didn't live on campus. Everyone seemed to agree, even Mara who at first was complaining about exams and essays.

Joy tied her shoes and kept listening into their conversation. Everyone seemed to be ready but no one seemed to be making any effort to get out of there.

"Hey" Jerome sat next to her and handed her a bottle of iced green tea

"…Thanks" she replied, a bit confused.

"You like that"—he pointed at the bottle—"right?"

"Yeah…" she said, opening the bottle "how did you know?"

He smiled at her "you're not the only one who watches Joy" he stood up and left.

This is kind of filler-ish but still important. It's 2AM excuse any grammar mistakes.

Did you know procrastination isn't laziness but fear of failure.

PS- i'm really fucking sorry