half of this has been metaphorically collecting dust for the past 2 months
i'm not even joking now
IX. Joy
Joy was terrified.
She looked at the blackboard as she played with her fingers under her desk. She had a headache, her heart was racing, she felt like throwing up and at the same time she felt like her throat was closing up. She had to make a small presentation, and she had asked the teacher if she could go last. She was waiting while everybody talked about their given topics when she started to wonder if it had been a bad idea to go last.
Joy had no love for presentations whatsoever. She had avoided plenty while at school. Since her parents didn't allow her to be absent, she would always ask to go last and sometimes the class ended and she still hadn't presented, or she'll ask to go to the bathroom and stay there the rest of the class.
Having to stand in front of people and talk scared the living shit out of Joy. Every time she stood in front of a group of people to talk about the pointless of subjects, she'll feel like everyone was laughing at her even when no one was paying her attention. Her mother hadn't helped her at all, she had told Joy multiple times how pathetic she was for being scared of talking. Her father had told her that it was okay, and that no one was laughing at her. He also said that he knew it wasn't easy, and then an argument began between her mother and father.
Joy checked the clock. Three minutes and class was over.
Her name was called.
She stood there and scanned the classroom.
She felt like her legs would give up on her.
—
Joy attended Mick's party and she had to admit that she kind of enjoyed herself.
On her way to the party Joy had thought a thousand ways how it could go wrong. She had only been to 2 or 3 actual parties in all her life and she had only gone to them because someone had made her. At the age of 14 her mum forced her to go to a party a girl on her grade was giving, Joy called her dad to pick her up at midnight. When she was 15 Joy's friend, Abigail, dragged her to a party. The party's host was a senior and since the party was merely 6 blocks from her house, Joy left at 11:30PM. And the last party had been once again because of Abigail. She tended to move a lot and after 2 years in London Abigail was moving to Newcastle, so her parents allowed her to throw a party. That was the only time Joy actually stayed the whole party. But when she got to Mick's house she was really surprised. All of her friends were there, and some people she didn't actually know but seen hanging out with Mick were there too. The music wasn't half bad either. The later it got, the more people appeared but the place never got to be too overcrowded to which she was grateful. Joy hung out with her group of friends who were the lame kiddos who were just sitting and talking and joking around.
She left Mick's at 3AM and she finally realized why she hadn't like parties before; she hadn't actually been with friends.
—
For some unknown reason Jerome had ben texting her daily. He was talking to her more too. She started wondering if something was going on but she could never be sure with Jerome. Most of his texts were: How are you today? How's been your day? (Joy's sure as hell Jerome's the only person in this goddamned world whose texts are grammatically/spelling correct and she thankful for it since she was sick and tired of seeing ares as r and whys as y) which she found really rare. Her mobile had died once and Jerome had come to her room really fucking worried and had asked why wasn't she answering his texts. He was also being more affectionate, he hugged her at least once a week and he put his arm around her almost daily. Joy would of had put more thought into if it had not been because she had to study and revise for her classes (and maybe because she enjoyed it, and didn't mind it having no explanation).
End of term exams were rather okay and Joy could just look through her copybooks a couple of times and she'll do well in the exams but for some unknown reason mid year exams kind of terrified her and she refused to even think about end of year exams because she's sure one of those could of have been the death of her. Exam rooms are probably her least favourite place. Still, she did pretty well or at least that's what one of his teachers told her.
Joy's mum had arranged everything for Joy to go back home during her break and even though she would have preferred to stay at campus Joy really did not have a voice against her mother, no one at the Mercer's household had a voice when against Joy's mum. She ruled that house; she was the queen of her little kingdom. The queen is always right and what a queen says is what must be done.
She said goodbye to Patricia, who would also leave but the next day. On her way out she found Jerome. Jerome came up to her and hugged her.
"If you wanna talk to anyone just call me, okay?" Jerome said as he let her go.
Joy looked at him strangely "Yeah, of course" She really wanted to ask him why he had been so preoccupied for her lately but she couldn't bring herself to say the words
Jerome hugged her again, sent her a smirk and looked into her eyes "Please, don't do anything you'll regret" He turned on his heel and left.
Jerome left Joy thinking all the way to London.
—
Mercer, I'm bored
Jerome had kept his daily texting throughout holidays and he had managed to make Joy's parents wonder if their daughter had gone mad because she was laughing alone in her room on a daily basis (thanks to Jerome's ridiculous selfies). She had found herself waiting for the little notification on her phone to tell her she had a new message. He was in Italy, 'forced to go by his parents' he had said but Joy was sure he loved it. Joy had been to Italy years ago but she didn't realised how much she had loved it and how much she missed it up until Jerome sent her a picture of Florence's sunset. It was probably 12AM when she received the sunset picture and she was instantly filled with an urge to leave. She found herself staring out of the window until 3AM, trying so hard to not jump off the window and run… just run. She wanted to get away so badly, she wanted to run back to campus, she would have run to Patricia's house, she would have run anywhere all she wanted was to be away.
"Joy! Darling, come over" She looked up from her phone to see her mother with the telephone pressed to her shoulder "Aunt Grace wants to talk to you"
Joy reluctantly stood up and grabbed the telephone.
"Hey, Aunt Grace" She said as she faced her mother who was already cleaning up the table while Joy's dad washed the dishes. Her aunt greeted her back and asked how she was "I'm good, thanks" They exchanged a couple of words until Joy could finally hang up. It had been barely a minute but she was not a fan of talking on the phone, much less to relatives who only saw her some Christmases.
"You're a rude girl," her mother accused.
"Uh?" Joy asked, as she pulled her phone out of her pocket again, hoping she could reply to Jerome already.
"You were rude to your aunt" Her mother said "And whenever anyone calls, you refuse to talk and when you do, you say hi and bye. Make conversation for once please!"
"What am I supposed to talk to her about then? I don't have anything to tell her" Joy responded.
"Don't talk back to me! You can tell her about school, you know? Just talk. It's not difficult!" Joy's mum had stopped doing everything now; she was just looking at her daughter.
"It's not easy mum! I'm so sorry I lack conversation skills and for the matter I dislike talking on the phone and I really doubt Aunt Grace cares about my studies!" Joy was clutching her phone, she felt angry.
"You don't lack anything!" Her mother spoke as she finished cleaning the table. Joy looked at her for a while and then to her dad who smiled at her reassuringly. "I dislike talking on the phone" her mother mocked whispered.
"It frightens me, okay?" Joy said, already tired of her mother "I do not like it. It scares me" she whispered the last part, afraid of her mother's reaction.
Her father looked at her with sympathy as if he understood what she meant and her mother simply said, "That's pathetic. You're the only person stupid enough to fear something as simple as talking. Even worse: on the phone, you don't even see the person! You are so pathetic."
Joy looked at her father once more before leaving for her bedroom.
this is the longest it has taken me to update, right?
so yeah... i'm sorry, if there's anyone still reading
bye