AUTHOR'S NOTE: where do I start? I AM SO SUPER SORRY FOR LETTING YOU WAIT THIS DAMN LONG OMG. It's just that I've lost inspiration after some time and I needed to find new ideas. If you're still reading it, THANKS! I'm glad that there are people who actually like reading this. Anyway, I've collected some new ideas. Chapter 5 shouldn't take too long. And... be prepared... for OTP feels. c;

Chapter ● Four

Not even he cares about you. He will reject you. They will let you down, all of them— Million of thoughts are currently flying around in Eric's mind. They always do whenever he is alone and bored without anything to do. There might be some truth in his thoughts. None of the other members seriously care about him. That makes him actually look back at Hikawa. Those people cared about him— definitely not in a good way. But still, whenever he was gone or had any serious problems during the missions they made sure to get him back alive. Probably because they were the only people who actually had the right to lay a finger on their dog.

Kosuke will be home in a few minutes. He currently works at the bowling center right in the center of the city. He mostly returns home after midnight, exhausted because he knows he won't get any sleep at night. Eric has no idea why and what is wrong with him. Then he hears him enter, following his usual habit to drop the keys.

"Hey, you're still awake? Can't sleep?", Kosuke says before letting out a big yawn while heading to the kitchen. Eric shrugs, eyes fixed on the window, watching the raindrops cracking against it. Tonight it is going to be stormy.

"Eric?", Kosuke shouts out of the kitchen. "You didn't make any dinner today?"

"No. It's not like it's my job, you know." True, that sounded kind of harsh. The blond earned an astonished glance from the other as he comes out of the kitchen to join Eric on the couch.

"You're right. It's not." The redhead sighed, kind of annoyed at Eric's daily moods. It takes him a while until he finally speaks again. "What's wrong, man? You've been awfully bitchy these days. You know you can always—"

"No, it's nothing.", Eric interrupts him, waving his hand to make clear that everything is fine. Of course, he is lying. Nothing's fine at all. "Probably the weather. The rain. It has been raining for days now and that's kinda depressing."

"Yeah, that's true." Kosuke nods sympathetically. He knows that the rain is definitely not the reason, but there would be no sense in keeping on asking him about something that possibly bothers him. Perhaps, it will just stress him even more.

"I have an idea." Kosuke suddenly turns to Eric. "I have a day off tomorrow. Actually... I already planned something. With my girlfriend. But you can join us, what do you think?" Great. That was definitely not the thing Eric wanted to hear.

"Really?" Eric stares at the redhead with his usual dissatisfied expression. At first he didn't want to say anything at all. But leaving it like that would not be fair towards Kosuke, so he speaks after a little pause. "I don't think she wants me to come with you."

Eric is so glad that Kosuke— that no one is actually able to read his mind. That would definitely not end well for the blond.

"Ah, come on. Why wouldn't she? She likes you. I know that.", Kosuke nods.

"Did she tell you? Did she say that she likes me? And even if that would be the case, did you ever notice the look on her face when I enter the room, huh?", Eric starts to raise his voice. Kosuke just stares at him for a while.

"What the fuck, man.", Kosuke raises himself off the couch, heading to the bedroom. Standing in the door, he turns around once again. "I wish I would know more about you. You know... what moves you? What makes you do the things you do?"

"People like you, Kosuke." Eric tries his best to keep his eyes down, away from the other's.

"What did I ever do to you?" Kosuke knows, he won't get an answer. As Eric turns his back to him, he enters the bedroom.

Sometimes Eric makes him feel like a bad person, makes him feel guilty whenever Eric is sad or angry. Maybe it really is him, after all. But still he does not know what he had ever done to him. Kosuke wants to slap himself in the face for that thought, but... maybe it wasn't the best idea to pick him up earlier. Leaving him there would have been worse, definitely! But maybe Eric would have been happier when he just— no!

After a while he hears Eric crawling into the bed. Of course, he did since it's hard for him to get some sleep with thoughts like that during night. Tomorrow things will be different. Hopefully.

The next morning Kosuke is up early. To his own surprise Eric is already up, too. He usually sleeps two or three hours more than Kosuke usually does. But not today. The redhead just came out of the shower, getting ready to meet up with his girlfriend. Eric takes his accustomed place on the couch.

"You really don't want to come with us? You know, we'll go through the mall, grabbing some food, buying some stuff what will end up being useless, getting upset because we bought something useless...", Kosuke lets out a tiny laugh, what causes Eric to actually grin but he tries his best to hide it.

"Would it make you happy?", the blond turns to Kosuke.

"More than that."

"Would it make me happy?" There they are again. Eric's daily moods. Kosuke's handsome smile faded immediately. Why does he still act surprised about the younger. He takes one deep breath.

"Eric, would you please stop? Why can't you just say yes or no. Without being a bitch about it! Listen, pal. If this is getting worse then I don't want you to be around me anymore. I want you to leave then. I'll send you to Kusanagi-san or whoever person will be there to finally take this fucking weight off me. God, if I actually knew how horrible it would be to—", Kosuke stops, noticing he would just become louder and louder. He actually never wanted to shout at him. He looks at Eric, who is literally near to tears right now, trying his best to hold them back.

"I didn't ask for this. For your help, for HOMRA, for... I didn't even ask for you, jerk! You picked me up. You've put that weight on your shoulders all by yourself. So don't blame me. If I am such a burden for you, then I'll be gone within the next 15 minutes.". Eric eagerly looks at him, expecting a quick answer from the other.

"I'm sorry.", Kosuke sighs. "I didn't want you to think that you're a burden for me. I guess... I just wanted to reach you, you know. And it is definitely not fair to force you to open up for me. If you don't want to spend the day with me and Asuka it's totally fine. Really. But still, I would like to know what's wrong with you. The last few days had been exhausting. Are you not happy here? Do you want to be somewhere else? Maybe with someone else?"

"To be honest, I have never been truly happy. But I will try my best to make the next days less exhausting for you." He definitely is happy when he is around Kosuke. When he is with him he feels that there is someone who truly cares. Someone who likes him even more than he likes himself. But when Kosuke is gone he feels lonely. That is something he would never admit to anyone, of course. "I'm coming with you."

"Really? I mean, only if you want to." Kosuke smiles after seeing Eric nodding. "Great! It's going to be a good day, pup."

Before Kosuke heads for the bedroom once again, he smiles at Eric, gently patting the younger's head. He is still not sure if going with them is a good idea. He is afraid Asuka will do anything to keep Kosuke away from Eric. He is afraid he will be ignored by them. But Kosuke would not let this happen, would he?

After arriving at the mall Eric starts to think about that clreary unnecessary argument they had just an hour ago. Standing slightly behind Kosuke, being deeply in his thoughts he does not notice Asuka coming. She greets the readhead with a big hug, while taking a look at Eric. She rolls her eyes and starts whispering into Kosuke's ear.

"I thought it was our day today." She starts smiling at him after letting go. She would not want Eric to notice that they are talking about him, identifying him as an actual problem. "By asking me if we want to go to the mall I didn't know that in we Eric was included."

"I asked him." Kosuke shrugs. "I don't want him to stay alone at home."

"Well, but he usually does. By his own choice."

"Yeah. True. But today I want him with us." By his own choice? The more Kosuke starts thinking about this, the more he gets the feeling that Eric's decisions actually depend on people. What would have happened if he asked him to come to the mall without his girlfriend? So, it would just be Eric and him. If it would have been like this, then maybe there would have been no argument between the two of them.

"Hey, Eric.", Asuka gives her best to make that fake smile look as real as possible. And she badly fails. She earns a short glance from the blond, who immediately switches the place, now standing on Kosuke's right, away from his girlfriend.

"She annoys me.", Eric mumbles, coming a bit closer.

"Ah, come on. She's not that bad."

"Yes, she is. She's like the devil herself and you don't even notice."

"I see some sort of devil in both of you sometimes.", Kosuke laughs quietly. "Get along with her, pup. It's better if you do."

"How should I get along with a person who obviously doesn't like me?"

Kosuke heard what Eric was saying, but he shows no sign of reaction. He takes the hand of his girlfriend, holding it while strolling through the mall. Eric knew it was a bad idea to go with them and Asuka tried her best to proof that he had better stayed at home.

Finally back home. It has already gotten dark outside and Eric feels kind of exhausted. It is his usual time for going to bed and so he does, while Kosuke follows him into the bedroom.

"It wasn't as bad as you expected, huh? Admit it.", Kosuke begins to tease him a little.

"I'll stay at home next time."

"I thought it was fun. Was it because of her?"

"Yes. It was.", Eric slowly starts to take his clothes off, getting ready for bed time. Sitting on the bed, only in his boxers now, he sighs, relaxing a little bit. "Look, I really don't like her. I don't know, she's... it's just hard for me to get along with her. And I guess, that won't change. And today you noticed that she doesn't get along with me, either, right? So, I think it's best when I see Asuka only when it's really necessary. Like when it's your birthday or any other shit you want us two to be together with you."

"Okay. I'm glad you're telling me. Because I didn't notice anything about her not liking you today. But if you say so, it must be right. And I must admit I feel honored that you'd be ready to see her on my birthday. Because I wouldn't want to spend my special day without her."

Eric fixes his eyes to the ground. That last thing he said was not the thing he prefered to hear. But he got used to it. Then he feels Kosuke sitting on the bed next to him, still keeping his eyes down.

"I wouldn't want to spend my special day without you, either. You're... uhm... like a part of me, you know. I mean, of all people you probably know me the best. Since we're spending the whole day together. You're the only person who had ever caught me watching porn.", now Kosuke is the one who keeps his eyes fixed on the ground, thinking about what he had just said. Was it too much? It is not like he planned on declaring his love to Eric.

"Dork.", Eric begins to smile. It is a smile that is not forced. This time he did not smile to make him feel better or to show him that everything is fine. Kosuke notices that and smiles back, looking at him like he has never seen that smile before, like Eric had just learned it. So he enjoys that face a little longer.

"Stop staring. I hate it when you look at me like that.", Eric laughs. He does not hate that look at all.

"I'm not staring."

"Yes, you are. You still do. I told you to stop."

"Who are you to tell me what to do, pup?"

They just keep on laughing for a while, forgetting that they actually wanted to go to sleep. Kosuke has work tomorrow, but he does not even care about it right now. Then Eric slowly stops laughing, looking right into the other's eyes. Looks like it is the right time for a change. Eric waited for this moment to finally come. He feels that he is getting a bit nervous.

"Well, I need to tell you something, Kosuke. I'm not really sure about how to start this, actually..."

"Just say it plain. Come on. Can't be that bad after such a day."

"Okay... well, you remember what you told me? About what Chitose had said about me? The thing is that he might—"

"No fucking way!"