chapter seven

When everyone got out of the van, Zach grabbed Cammie's hand before she could walk inside. It was late, but Zach led her behind the van and kissed her against the door. The second before, they had been half asleep, but now they were wide awake.

Zach pushed one of Cammie's stray hairs behind her ear, and Cammie looked away.

"Cam, what's wrong?"

Zach was searching Cammie's face, looking concerned. Looking for something underneath those piercing eyes.

"You're not, starting to regret our decision, are you? Because if you think we're rushing this just tell me and—"

Cammie looked back at Zach, the water in her eyes glistening under the light of the moon. She looked up and bit her lip, but when she blinked, tears cut across her face. Zach hesitantly wiped away her tears with his thumb, and Cammie grabbed his hand and held it there.

When she finally started to speak, she looked slightly down, staring at something in the distance. She was still leaning against the side of the van, and she propped her foot up against the door, balancing on one leg.

"You know, when people ask me about my father, I always say I can't remember him. It's easier, that way. But what they don't know is that I'm a liar. I'm a liar. Because I remember everything about him. And it comes in waves. But I remember how funny he was. And I remember how he would lift me up off the ground and stare into my eyes as if I was the only person that mattered in his little world. And I remember how we went on our first mission together. And I remember him telling me that he wasn't afraid of dying and neither should I. I remember him telling me to never, ever say something wasn't possible if I didn't want it to be. And I remember how he would look at me. I really really remember how he would look at me. I remember the last time I saw his face. Right before he was about to leave for his next, his last, mission. The one that would ultimately take him. Take him from me. He had already kissed me, hugged me goodbye. But at the last second, right before he was about to board the plane, he ran back. He took me up in his arms and smiled. Then he put me back down, and kneeled down across from me. He put his hands on my shoulders, and said, "I'm not going anywhere, kid. I'll be back before you know it. When I get back, we're having a big feast, we'll go on a big con. You and me. You in?" I nodded my head and laughed. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be back soon, Cam." He was almost saying it to himself, trying to convince himself. Isn't that just something. I'm not going anywhere."

More tears cut along Cammie's broken face, and she was still staring at that one point in the distance. Dawn was coming, but the sky was still a dark slate color, and the blackness reflected back into Cammie's eyes.

Cammie looked back at Zach, finally. But Cammie was no longer in the past. She was full on present and her eyes had turned into oceans, spilling over a thousand formless words.

Zach took her head into his hands, leaning her forehead against his. He spoke softly, so softly it was almost as if he was only breathing but he wasn't.

"I love you."

"I, I love you too."

"Cam?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Zach, you just said that."

"Cam, I love you and life is short and we're getting married and I love you. I can't promise forever, Cam. I won't con ourselves into thinking we'll live to see flying pigs. But I can promise now. And I can promise the rest of my life. And you can promise the rest of your life. And we can live the rest of our lives together as our singular, co-existing life. And then we'll die. Maybe you'll die first, maybe I'll die. Maybe we'll die together. Or maybe the apocalypse will come and we won't even have to worry about a funeral. But we'll die and then life will suck for the remainder of the life we have to spend apart. But isn't that better than not living it at all? All I know is life is short, and I love you, and I want to make out with you and marry you and have kids with you and spend the rest of my life with you and love you. I just want to love you. Screw time. Screw death. Screw everything else but now. Right now. Because right now is what we have and what we've been given and I just want to spend it with you. Is that alright with you?"

Cammie grabbed Zach's face in her hands, smiling.

"That's alright with me."

Cammie kissed Zach, and Zach had a glint in his eye. Cammie was pressed up against the van door, and Zach's hands were in her hair. Zach kissed her hands, her shoulder, her neck.

"God, I'm so in love with you."

She was done blushing. She looked at the ring hanging off of her neck and was about to say something but heard,

"Cam? Are you still out there?"

Cammie's eyes widened, and put her hand over Zach's mouth.

"Cam I know you're out there, don't make me…"

Cammie walked out from behind the van.

"I'm coming mom, sorry. I was just getting my bag out of the trunk."

"Alright, well. I was just.. checking. To um, make sure.. you were okay?"

"Yeah, mom. I'm really fine. I fell asleep in the car and I'm just kind of out of it.. I'll talk to you in the morning?"

"Yeah, alright."

Mrs. Morgan walked inside, and Cammie walked back behind the van, but Zach was gone.

—

By the time Cammie woke up, breakfast had already started. Liz, Bex, and Macey were assumingly downstairs in the dining hall, and Cammie was thankful for them letting her sleep in. Once she got out of bed, she saw a shadow move out of the corner of her eye.

"You're getting worse. My mother almost caught you slipping away last night."

Cammie teased Zach with a smile on her face, and he stepped out of his hiding place.

"Maybe I'm just…. distracted."

"You know, some people think it's creepy when you wake up with a boy in your room watching you sleep.."

Zach made his way over to Cammie, and grazed her cheek with his hand.

"Yeah, well. Get used to it."

Cammie's heart raced at the thought of one day sharing a bed, a house, a life with Zach. Someday in the very foreseeable future.

Zach gently grabbed the ring from Cammie's necklace, looking at it.

"Do you, like the ring, Cam? Because if it's too, simple, then we could go see about—"

"Zach."

Cammie grabbed the hand holding the simple, but breathtaking ring she had stared at all last night, turning it over in her palm.

"It is absolutely perfect."

"You're positive?"

"Absolutely."

Cammie wondered briefly how he had the money to afford such an expensive ring, but she didn't ask. She just put her hand in his, smiling the widest smile Gallagher Academy had ever seen, and pulled Zach out of the room.

"Let's head down to breakfast, shall we?"

Zach laughed.

"What?"

Cammie looked down.

"I'm in my pajamas, aren't I."

"Yep."