6. Get chased by a Carnivorous Running Plant. Where did THAT come from anyway?

"Herbology! Nothing bad can happen to me here, right?" I asked Alex, beaming.

After that unlucky streak in my first week (really, who falls off the ASTRONOMY Tower?), my time at Hogwarts had been accident free for about three months. Today was the last day before winter break.

"There are an awful lot of plants who want to kill you in Herbology, but I'm sure they're just misunderstood plants who just need some love," said Alex optimistically.

It's UNNATURAL how happy that guy is. I still think he overdoses on happy pills every day.

"I was talking about Weasley," I explained. "Not the blood-thirsty plants out for my… well, blood."

Alex beamed. "Whatever! Let's go to HERBOLOGY!" With that, he skipped off to the greenhouses, humming some weird tune.

A Gryffindor stared at him, then me.

"Stop staring, you!" I barked. "This is completely normal!"

The Gryffindork boy who was staring at me (oh, shut up. It's HARD to make up a good insult for them!) rolled his eyes, and went back to chatting to his other Gryffindork friend.

Idiots.

"So, hello, class!" said Professor Longbottom cheerfully. "Last week, an old professor of mine gave me a very rare plant called the Carnivorous Running Plant! Isn't it exciting? Did you know that if they ate a human, they could fully digest him or her in two hours?" He beamed and conjured a huge, yellow plant with a head that looked like a clam out of thin air (figuratively!). The plant opened its clam-head, revealing large, dagger-like teeth that could probably rip our gamekeeper (Hagrid, I think) into pieces easily.

All of the Slytherins and Ravenclaws started inching away from him.

Professor Longbottom didn't seem to notice. "Since I only got one, I'm afraid only one lucky pair can work with it." Everyone let out a sigh of relief. They probably thought that he got one for everyone. I sure did.

Professor Longbottom sighed. "I know, I know, you're all disappointed, but it's alright, I have plenty of other plants for you."

I, along with the whole class, looked at him incredulously. This man was SERIOUSLY deluded.

Disappointed, ha. Maybe RELIEVED that we don't have to risk our lives taking care of a plant?

"Since it should be fair, I'll draw two names randomly, a boy and a girl," he said waving his wand and conjuring (literally this time) two random pieces of parchment from thin air.

Everyone held their breath as Longbottom read the first parchment.

"Rose Weasley!" Weasley looked like someone had told her that her mother had died.

"And…." He paused dramatically. Everyone started going pale.

"Scorpius Malfoy!"

My. Life. Has. Ended.

I looked over at Weasley.

She looked like she wanted to murder someone.

Being the smart person I was, I started scooting away from her.

Longbottom the Deluded just beamed like he was giving us a million Galleons instead of a man-eating plant. "Have fun, you two! Oh, so lucky!"

I looked up hopefully.

"It's okay, you can take care of it, sir," I offered generously.

Weasley nodded (THAT'S a first).

"The plant would absolutely LOVE being under your care," she said hopefully.

Yes, Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy worked together without trying to kill each other. Stop looking so amazed.

You know what they say: Desperate needs call for desperate measures.

Longbottom shook his head. "No, I couldn't bring myself to depriving you two of such an experience."

Yeah, a near-death experience.

All of the Slytherins and Ravenclaws except for Alex the Also Deluded looked at Weasley and me sympathetically.

"You're so lucky!" exclaimed Alex the Deluded.

"You can have it!" I said.

Alex shook his head. "No, I know you want to. You can take care of it."

"Alex, I want to do this as much as I want to snog Weasley," I said sarcastically.

Weasley glared at me. "I'd rather take the plant," she snapped.

Longbottom didn't seem to notice us trying to kill each other.

"Here you go!" With that, Longbottom plopped the dangerous, man-eating plant into my arms.

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" I yelled. "GET IT AWAY FROM ME!"

I threw it at Weasley. Not on purpose, you idiot! I just threw it far away from me. Getting Weasley was a bonus.

Being the clumsy fool she was, Weasley screamed and dropped it.

Longbottom screamed as well. Something about "THE POOR PLANT!"

The pot the plant was in cracked open. The plant's roots suddenly slithered out of the pot and acted like a pair of legs.

Basically, the plant stood up.

The cowardly IDIOTS (Slytherin and Ravenclaw) all screamed like a bunch of Weasleys (Rose Weasley, though I heard that her cousin, Fred Weasley, had a high-pitched scream as well) and stampeded out the greenhouse.

Professor Longbottom cursed (that man knows A LOT of bad words…) and ran out to get them back.

The plant swiveled its ugly head around, and locked on to Weasley and I.

"Do. Not. Move," said Weasley quietly, eyeing the plant nervously.

"Do. You. Think. I'm. In-sane?" I hissed back, also eyeing the plant nervously.

"Yes. But. We'll. Settle. This. When. We. Aren't. In. Danger. Of. Getting. Eaten," growled Weasley.

The plant probably would've ran somewhere else when the stupid Venomous Tentacula hadn't grabbed Weasley's neck and tried to strangle her.

Weasley, completely forgetting about the dangerous killing machine three feet away from us, choked and somehow managed to make a high pitched noise.

I swear the plant smiled before lunging towards us.

"WEASLEY! RUUN!" I screamed. Weasley fell onto her knees, desperately trying to stop the Venomous Tentacula from killing her, her wand laying uselessly on the ground.

Before I could light a fire, the stupid Carnivorous Running Plant disarmed us.

I am not kidding. That thing has a brain.

It grabbed Weasley's wand from the floor with its roots and snatched mine away from me.

Utilizing my 'lesson' from Professor Longbottom, I cursed and yelled, "GET ON, WEASLEY!"

"W-what?" choked Weasley.

"GET ON MY BACK OR DIE!"

She opened her mouth to retort when the C. R. Plant bit her arm.

I kicked the plant, and Weasley swiftly got on, wrestling with the Venomous Tentacula.

I sprinted out the door with the Running Plant hot on my trail.

A few minutes later, Weasley rasped, "You need to climb a tree! The plant will tire you out and kill us both!"

"There's no tree near-"Before I finished the sentence, I spotted a willow thrashing around.

"So, Weasley, do you want certain death or serious pain?"

"Daarn, it's the Whomping Willow, isn't it?"

I ran towards the Whomping Willow with a plant out to kill me and a red-headed girl screaming that I was suicidal. Did I mention that said girl had ANOTHER plant trying to kill her at the same time?

Yay.

Right before we got into the Willow's branches attack range, I gritted my teeth and said, "Hold on tight, Weasley."

"I am going to KILL you after this," Weasley growled.

I sprinted towards the knot in the Willow that my dad had told me about.

A branch leapt out and tried to trip me, but I jumped, then ducked to avoid another branch.

"Come on, we're almost- ACK!" I screamed then collapsed.

That's what happens when a stupid plant bites you and a tree whips you at the same time.

"MALFOY! THE STUPID PLANT IS-"

I cut off Weasley. "Weasley, if you care about NOT getting killed by three plants, TOUCH THAT KNOT!"

Weasley looked at me like I was insane, but touched the knot. Immediately, one of the plants stopped trying to kill us.

Weasley, despite fighting a Venomous Tentacula, kicked the Carnivorous Running Plant away from us and managed to drag me into the passageway before the Whomping Willow unfroze.

I groaned and managed to get up. I winced and looked at my leg.

Let's just say that it looked bad.

"Malfoy, a little help here?" hissed Weasley, still looking like she was wrestling with a vine. Probably because she was.

I crawled over to Weasley. "Er, let's see…. Have any matches on you?"

Weasley stared at me. "I thought you were pure-blood?"

"…So?"

Weasley rolled her eyes. "Yeah, a MALFOY knowing what a MATCH is used for is perfectly normal."

"You're right, my last name isn't that common."

"Hopeless case- OH MY MERLIN I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING!"

I looked at her hopefully. "James Potter and Fred Weasley jumped off the Astronomy Tower and broke their necks?"

"Unfortunately, no, but I have a matchstick on me!"

I stared at her. "Do I even want to know how?"

"Never mind HOW, just get it out and light it!" she hissed.

"Well, where is it?"

"In my pockets, I don't know which one. My grandfather enchanted it so that I would always have one in my pocket just in case."

I suddenly blushed, then plunged my hands into her pockets, feeling like a pervert but probably saving her life at the same time.

"Yes! Found it!"

Weasley gave me the evil eye. "Well, genius, LIGHT IT!"

I glared at her, but lit the match. The top of the match burst into flame, making the Tentacula recoil and slither away.

Weasley rubbed her neck, muttering under her breath.

"Well, Weasley, since we can't exactly go out, exploring time?"

Weasley scowled, but got up and followed me to the Shrieking Shack.

When we got inside, Weasley gasped. "This is the Shrieking Shack!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, genius, this is the Shrieking Shack."

Weasley was about to retort, but suddenly said, "Wait, what's that!" and pointed at a slab of stone that looked like serpentine.

"I have no idea, Weasley, I don't exactly come here every day," I said sarcastically, but followed Weasley towards the stone.

"It has writing on it! "Here lies-'" Weasley gasped. "'Here lies… Severus Snape, a hero forever.'"

My mouth felt dry. "Of course. Professor Snape-"

"Professor?" asked Weasley.

"He was the Head of Slytherin during my dad's time, so we still call him 'Professor', now shut up and let me finish. Professor Snape was killed here by the Dark Lord," I croaked, recalling the horrible story my grandfather had told me when I was younger.

"Dark-" Before Weasley could finish, I said, "My whole family calls him the 'Dark Lord', so I just picked it up from them."

"Oh. Well, that's kind of creepy…" mumbled Weasley.

Before I could say anything, Professor Longbottom burst into the Shrieking Shack along with Professor McGonagall.

"Are you two-" I blacked out before Longbottom could finish.

I woke up and saw a strange scene.

Two blurry blobs, one with a white blob on top and one who had olive green blurry eyes were looking at me. A group of blobs with black and red blobby hair were chattering with a blob with red blobby hair. A blob was terrorizing several other blobs who were cowering in their blobby rectangle things.

I blinked, and the world was thrust into HD.

Professor McGonagall and Alex were looking at me with concern, the Weasley/Potter clan were chattering with Weasley, and Madam Pomfrey was terrorizing students who cowered in their beds.

Madam Abbot, who was training to be the school nurse after Pomfrey left, came into the room and saw that my eyes were open.

"Mr. Malfoy! Excellent, you're awake!" Abbot beamed.

Zabini and I had discussed seriously the possibilities that Abbot was also on happy pills along with Alex.

"Well, let's see, you had a bitten leg and was very tired, but even though you're all better now, I think you'd better stay in the Hospital Wing for a while." Abbot said this all in one breathe.

Madam Abbot's actual name was Longbottom, since she was married to Professor Longbottom, but since it was a little confusing to have two Longbottoms, the whole school just called her Madam Abbot.

The whole school ALSO thinks that Abbot is actually worse than Pomfrey because she tells you that you're as good as new, then insists that you stay for a few more days and be bored out of your mind.

Before I could protest, McGonagall broke in. "I'm glad to see that you're all better, Mr. Malfoy. Professor Longbottom was attacked by a group of Hippogriffs, which is why he couldn't rescue you and Ms. Weasley sooner. He wanted to check on you as well, but he had classes to teach. Oh, and fifty points to Slytherin for bravery in the face of danger."

I choked, but she left before I could say anything.

Alex beamed. "Well, that's something you don't hear every day! Also…"

I groaned. "Alex, I almost DIED!"

"Here's your homework!"

"ALEX!"

A/N: I am so sorry I didn't update, I had a writing block and didn't know how to finish this chapter.

After this, I'm going to skip directly to Rose and Scorpius' seventh year.

Please review!

-Dragon