A/N: About the last chapter and how I said I would be skipping to seventh year...

I lied.

Ok, actually, I WAS, but then I found this just sitting there. After a little thinking, I pondered on making this a one-shot, but decided to put this in here. Enjoy!

7. Bite them. Stop laughing!

I woke up to the sound of Zabini screaming murder, Higgs laughing then screaming as Zabini... did something that involved water, and Alex yelling, "VIOLENCE IS NEVER THE ANSWER!"

Basically, it was a peaceful day.

I mean, usually it's Zabini tackling Higgs and/or hexing him, Higgs diving into my bed, me screaming, and Alex yelling, "WE'RE TWENTY MINUTES LATE!"

Oh, did I mention that we're all in third year now?

In case you're wondering, I took:

Care of Magical Creatures (it sounds cool)

Arithmancy (I like math. Deal with it.)

Ancient Runes (It sounds cool too.)

Usually this would be an awesome schedule, but since I'm the LUCKIEST guy on Earth, obviously Rose Weasley had to take all those subjects too.

AND I'm trying to avoid her. ESPECIALLY since the 'Man-Eating Plant' incident.

Ha ha. Laugh.

So, er, on to the story.

We arrived in time to get our time-tables (worst pun ever) from Professor Finch-Fletchley and watch others get theirs as well.

"Parkinson! Catch! Ooh, sorry, let me fix that…"

"AHH! IT BURNS!"

"Sewlyn! Catch! Ouch, I'd go to the Hospital Wing if I were you, sorry…"

"MY EYE!"

"Salamen! Catch! Sorry, I'll heal that too…"

"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US, YOU CRAZY MAN?!"

"Five points from Slytherin! Um, where was I? Oh yes; Guadis, catch!"

Alex caught the flying time-table perfectly, which he never could have done if he wasn't a Chaser like me.

Finch-Fletchley cheered.

"Oh! Malfoy! Catch!"

I yelped, but managed to catch it as well, thanking my reflexes fervently.

Tip: Never try to catch flying, SHARP parchment. There's a reason why almost everyone in Slytherin from third year and older has a parchment-cut.

The lucky first and second years, however... Finch-Fletchley just passes the time-tables out to them normally.

Does anyone else think it's strange that Finch-Fletchley only does this at OUR table?

The poor firsties look traumatized now.

Twenty parchment-cut Slytherins and fifty points taken away for yelling profanity at Finch-Fletchley later, Alex and I started comparing our schedules.

"So, Scorpy, where are you going right now?" asked Alex cheerfully.

I still think Alex overdoses on happy pills every day (believe it or not, we wizards and witches do have happy pills. They're all yellow, and round, and have creepy smiley faces on them. Why won't anyone listen to me? Happy pills are going to take over the world!).

"Hmm, let's see…" I looked at my time-table. "Care of Magical Creatures with the Ravenclaws. Ugh, why do all of the FUN classes have Weasley in them?" Yes, I memorized her schedule, no, I am not planning to stalk her. Jeez, people.

Alex shrugged, still beaming. "Karma, I guess. I have Care of Magical Creatures too! Let's go!"

"So, hello, ever'one!" beamed Professor… Hagrid. See, I remembered!

Uh, back to the story?

"Welcome to Care o' Magical Creatures! I'm Professor Hagrid, and today we'll be workin' on Hippogriffs!"

Wait, didn't my dad tell me a story about him getting beat up by a Hippogriff? Named… Buckbeak, I think.

Hagrid brought out around seven to eight horse-eagle animals which I assumed were 'Hippogriffs'.

"So, do any o' you lot know how to approach a Hippogriff?" asked Hagrid.

I don't know, Professor, that's why I took this class. To learn HOW TO.

As usual, Know-It-All Weasley's hand shot up like a rocket. 3, 2, 1 BLAST-OFF!

"Ro- I mean Ms. Weasley?" said Hagrid.

"The correct way to approach a Hippogriff is by bowing. If the Hippogriff doesn't bow back, you should move backwards immediately," recited Weasley.

I snorted. "Weasley, if you already know everything to know about magical creatures, why even BOTHER ruining my life by taking this class?" I snapped.

Weasley spun around, her blue eyes sweeping the crowd of students for her target. "YOU!"

Professor Hagrid frowned and started to say something. "Look, I know yeh two don't exactly have a reputation for bein' civil to each other, but-"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" shouted Weasley.

I completely lost my temper. What a stupid question. How did she even get Sorted into Ravenclaw? Bribery? Shameless begging?

"I decided to TAKE THIS CLASS, WEASLEY! DUH!" I shouted back.

All of the Slytherins and most of the Ravenclaws looked like they agreed with me. I mean, seriously, DUH, Weasley!

Before Weasley could retort, Hagrid intervened. "ALRIGHT! QUIET, YOU TWO!"

We didn't say anything, but we gave each other withering glares when Hagrid wasn't looking.

"Alright, yeh lot, who wants to ride ol' Beakbuck here?" offered Hagrid.

Beakbuck? Before I could ponder on it, though, Weasley smirked at me like she was thinking 'cowardly Malfoy' (she probably was, the jerk) and walked up to Beakbuck the Hippogriff.

Uh, yeah, sure I'll sit there and do NOTHING while my rival one-ups me.

I ran to Beakbuck, trying to get there before her, and bowed at the same time as Weasley.

Beakbuck looked pleased for some unknown Hippogriff-y reason, and bowed to both of us.

Weasley and I glared at each other, determined to ride Beakbuck first.

So, of course, we got on Beakbuck at the same time.

"Ugh, get OFF Malfoy!"

"No way, Weasley!

"I was here FIRST, Malfoy! Now GET OFF!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Well, off yeh go, Beaky!"

Wait, WHAT?

Weasley obviously felt the same way, as she gaped at Hagrid too.

Hagrid suddenly for some INSANE reason, SLAPPED a very DANGEROUS Hippogriff, and said DANGEROUS Hippogriff suddenly took off into the air.

"MERLIN'S PANTS! AHHH!" That was me, by the way.

"HELP! SOMEONE! NINE-ONE-ONE!-"Wait, nine what what?"-HAGRID IS CRAZY! HEEEEEELLLLPPP!"

That WASN'T me, by the way.

Rose suddenly started screaming again. "I'M FALLING!"

I cursed. "OH FOR THE SAKE OF MERLIN, WEASLEY-"

Weasley cut me off and sort of hugged me. Ugh, cooties! "MALFOY, HELP ME!"

I felt myself falling. "WEASLEY, GET OFF OF ME, WE'RE BOTH GOING TO FALL THIS WA—AAHHH!"

In case you were wondering, that was me FALLING TO MY DEATH BECAUSE OF ROSE WEASLEY by the way.

Rose: "AHHHH!"

Me: "AHHHHHH!"

Ground: "FWOOSH!"

Wait, 'FWOOSH'? Isn't it supposed to be 'THUMP CRACK' to signify that we landed and broke all of our bones?

I tried to get up gingerly. Unfortunately, Weasley was still HUGGING me and sobbing her heart out.

Was flying that terrifying?

Uh, yes, Scorpius, it was. In fact, if this was your first time flying, you probably would've gotten a serious flying-phobia or whatever they call it and NEVER LIKE/PLAY QUIDDITCH AGAIN!

Am I having a conversation with myself? I must be going insane because of Weasley.

Oh, shut up, you.

Suddenly, Weasley let go of me and glared at me. "YOU!"

Oh Merlin. "What?"

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! ARGH!" Weasley suddenly punched me in the mouth.

My eyes were probably the size of oranges. "MMPHH!"

Look, I know that there's this old saying 'Never hurt a girl', but have you been punched in the MOUTH before?

When you're punched in the mouth, this thing called instinct kicks in.

I bit her.

"OWWW!" screamed Weasley.

"You can't blame me for biting you!" I yelled.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO PUNCHED ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Hagrid intervened again. "Hospital Wing, yeh two."

I hope that wasn't her first time flyng.

Yeah...

Wait, WHAT? Since when am I concerned about WEASLEY?

A/N: Ok, for real this time, I am skipping directly to seventh year.

Review review!

-Dragon