Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.

a/n: I was way too excited to update. This is an important chapter, one I've been dying to write. The ball's finally rolling. Hope it's up to your expectations.

Reviews, sharing, etc. are greatly appreciated. I love all of your reviews - I constantly check for more. They make my day. So I hope this chapter is returning the favor.

"Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires."

- William Shakespeare, Macbeth

Raven: Sometimes secrets aren't meant to be shared.

- Revved Up

Chapter Nine: The Present

"So..."

Raven couldn't find the proper way to word her inquiry as she watched Slade punch a series of digits, letters, and symbols into his laptop. To Raven, the codes were nonsense, and no matter how hard she tried to discern the stream of keystrokes, there were no familiar hacks or viruses - at least, none Raven knew of. But after a few moments, a bright red chip popped out of a slot of the computer.

Slade pinched the little square and held it up for Raven to see.

"This is my current occupation," he explained. "My client came to me seeking a few firewalls and extra security in a computer system."

A cold drip of unease trickled it's way down Raven's spine. "And you're telling me this because...?"

"Child, if I didn't, I am positive you would construe some life-threatening accusation that would only inconvenience us both."

Shame flooded Raven's nerves. Nevertheless, she didn't enjoy the tone he took with her. "I'm not a child, Slade."

He paused, lowering the chip. A bizarre blend of emotions went through her as Slade slowly scrutinized her figure.

"No," he finally conceded. "I suppose you aren't."

Raven couldn't tell if the following silence was awkward or thoughtful. Either way, she folded her arms protectively, hating these new feelings swirling within her.

What now?

"You said this is your work right now. What else do you do? Robin said you had an old job that was..."

Raven imagined Slade lifting an eyebrow. "I've had a lot of jobs, my dear. You're going to have to elaborate."

Raven ground her teeth, not angry - merely bracing herself for what the answer might be. "He said you've killed people for money. He said you were a mercenary."

When she'd heard Robin's story, Raven hadn't been particularly shocked. After all, it was the big, bad Slade they were talking about. The news hadn't been groundbreaking at the time.

Now, standing only a few inches away from the same man, whose character had most definitely changed - even if it was a minuscule difference - Raven wasn't sure how to react. The old Raven would have dismissed any inkling of change or redemption for a murderer.

People come, people go.

But this was the new Raven - actually, this was the new new Raven: the one that was cooperating under her own free will and (God help her) empathizing with Slade. Two years ago - hell, even two months ago, Raven would have laughed at the plausibility of this very scenario. What on Earth had transpired in the universe for this to have happened?

You caught him at a supermarket, Intelligence input wryly. The universe has a dull sense of humor.

She couldn't agree more.

Presently, Slade was unusually quiet; it wasn't a menacing quiet, nor was it a reflective quiet. It was the quiet of avoiding an answer, which always ended up being enough of an answer itself. Raven was vaguely surprised at the lack of a witty reply, some thought provoking series of words that would serve to confuse his opponent.

But Raven wasn't his opponent. And, in spite of all the painful and flame-filled history they shared, she could admit that Slade had changed as well.

"My past is what it is, Raven. You, of all people, can understand that."

Numbly, Raven nodded in agreement. Deep down, she knew she owed him understanding, if nothing else.

Slade said little after that, but Raven got the distinct impression he was grateful she didn't push the matter.

The two got into the sleek black car in Slade's driveway; it's interior was equally dark, with deeply tinted windows to boot. Slade drove them (This is just weird, Raven thought hazily as she watched Slade signal right and generally obey traffic laws, save the fact he sped like a maniac) to the docks they were all too familiar with. Puffs of gray factory smoke filtered out of large cylinder-shaped chimneys from nearby factories, tainting the salty scent of the ocean. Street lamps and other industrial light fixtures provided yellow illumination in the night, and the distant ding of a fishing boat sounded every few minutes from across the black water.

"Where are you meeting him?" Raven pulled down her hood, hoping to get a better view of her surroundings without the extra shadow. Still, she saw no slimy-looking businessmen in three-piece suits or tattooed goons with gang money emerge from the shadows.

"Patience." Slade's eye roved towards her. No sooner had the word left his mouth when a limo crept from around the corner, making a wide turn around the warehouse like a four-wheeled centipede. The headlights were white and blinding; Raven squinted, able to make out a fuzzy shape emerge from the car.

"Joseph!"

If it had not been for Intelligence, Raven's jaw would have dropped to the ground. There, in all her trashy glory, was the faux redhead who'd spent the night at Slade's. She looked far more composed this time around, and exuded confidence as she sauntered over to the two of them.

The woman blinked down at Raven. "You brought your housekeeper?"

It wasn't often Raven hated a part of herself, but right now, she desperately wished she was taller. For God's sake, her father was a fifty-stories high demon! How on Earth had she grown to be shorter even than her mortal mother?!

Forget that, harrumphed Passion. Does this bitch live under a rock? How the hell does she not know who you are? Why does she keep calling Slade 'Joseph'? She better get her ginger behind away from my man...

For once, Raven allowed Passion to ramble. It was sort of riveting at the moment, to be honest.

"She's not my housekeeper." Slade's tone was a-matter-of-fact. The woman glanced back towards Raven and gave an awkward smile. "Oh. Well, all right then."

She stuck out a hand adorned with garishly long acrylic nails. Slade dropped the red chip into her milky palm.

"Thank you, babe," she chirped. Then, apparently forgetting (or ignoring) present company, she sidled up to Slade's armored chest and began trailing her fingers up and down the breastplate.

"You know," the woman crooned, "if you ever need another favor, don't hesitate to call. My door's always open."

I bet it is. Raven could sense Passion beginning to plot murder. Raven, unlock your damn door so this hoe won't ever be a problem again.

Strangely, terrifyingly enough, Passion's logic made crystal clear sense to Raven, which disturbed her 'till no end.

Yet Slade caught the redhead's wandering digits in an unfriendly grip.

"I'll keep that in mind," he replied cooly. An unwelcome surge of delight rushed through Raven when she saw the woman cringe in pain and scamper back to the limo.

Once the echo of screeching tires faded, Slade turned towards her.

"Was there any indication the client was unwell?"

Yes, Passion grumbled. Mentally unwell.

"No."

"Was there any indication that what I did was to harm your friends?"

"I don't know what she's going to use it for," Raven pointed out.

Homemade porn, said Passion wisely. 'Stupid ginger takes a finger and shoves it up her - '

"There's only so much I can do for you, Raven."

Maybe it was the way he worded that phrase, or maybe it was the casual tone of that velvet-rich voice, but it was then and there Raven knew she had a crush on Slade. A prickling sensation spiked all nerves, before a wave of self-loathing slammed into her harder than a hurricane.

All the emotions were rendered silent with this epiphany. Then -

YES! HELL YES! I TOLD ALL OF YOU! WHAT DID I SAY?! WHAT DID I SAY?!

Raven! Intelligence was beyond disturbed. What are you thinking -

Whoa! Brave whistled. That took some balls to admit to yourself, Rae-Rae -

WE'RE GOING TO BANG SLADE! WE'RE GOING TO BANG SLADE!

Timid was sobbing incoherently, not even trying to voice her horror.

Raven, you fool! Rage roared. Your father considered him an insignificant prick! What could possibly posses you to -

THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE MOMENT RAVEN FINALLY GOT HER PANTIES OUT OF A TWIST!

Yay! Crush for Raven! Happy proceeded to imitate an airplane, making sure to dodge Passion's elated jumping, screaming, and dancing.

Lazy observed the turmoil of the Nevermore with mild interest, then slumped down for a nap.

SEX! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SEX, YOU GUYS! WITH A REAL MAN, TO BOOT, NOT THAT PAPER-ENDOWED LOSER MALCHIOR -

It was a struggle for Raven to speak through this inner turmoil. She picked the first question that popped into her mind.

"Slade, why did she call you Joseph?"

The ding! of the fishing boat rang again, much closer this time.

Slade clenched his hands, yet released them after a few seconds.

"Joseph is the name of someone I consider...important."

A cold breeze fluttered by. Childishly, Raven hugged her arms, too stunned to care. "Slade...what did you get out of that exchange? Money? Land?"

Slade laughed, and the low timbre shook her to the bone. "My dear, I work for favors. Everything I have, everything I own, is because I got it out of a deal."

He turned away, walking back to the car. For a moment, Raven wondered if he was going to leave her there. The thought hurt far more than it should have.

What now?

But Slade looked back, a glint of something she couldn't place in that deep, dark iris.

"As for the favor she provided me, you already passed."

.

Raven's got a crush, Raven's got a crush, Raven and Slade, kissing in a tree...

If Raven had been well-rested, less hungry, and perhaps in a more healthy state of mind, she would have gagged Happy for her endless chanting and thrown her to the red-eyed ravens. But she was far too lost in her own denial to even order the emotion to shut up; hence, Happy's constant sing-song. It was almost poetic justice.

So Slade had slept with that infernal redhead not just as a convenient way to test Raven's loyalty, but as an entire business transaction to test Raven's loyalty? Goddamn, it was such a Slade move, but it was oddly endearing in a sick, twisted way, but it was wrong, it was gross, it was...

Typical. It fit his personality to the T.

T-E-E-N, T-I-T-A-N-S, Teen Titans, let's go!

"Ugh!" Raven flopped her head into a pillow, which was a very un-Raven move. But apparently, she had a crush on Slade, so why not? Maybe tomorrow she'd laugh at one of Beast Boy's jokes, or try some poisonous Tamaranean dish. If she was feeling particularly in love with her team leader's archenemy, Raven just might have to try a tofu waffle. The possibilities were endless, really.

"I don't like Slade," she told the pillow. Her words came out muffled, and the space where the pillow touched her mouth became hot and uncomfortable.

Raven groaned, and pressed her face in harder, until her nose felt as if it would snap.

"I don't like Slade."

Mmhmm. Keep telling yourself that, girlfriend. I know better. Passion had been all to smug since 'The Revelation'. Quite frankly, Raven was just about ready for that lobotomy.

"This is all your fault!"

Me? Passion made a horrified face. Hell no! I was open to just about anyone, honey - you're the one who decided she liked Mr. Badass in a Mask.

There was a firm, two-punch knock on her door. Raven wanted to shriek in frustration - that was Robin's way of knocking.

"Raven? Can you open the door?"

Inconspicuously as possible, Raven cleared her throat, assuming her gravely monotone. "No. I'm not in the mood, Robin."

"Raven, I'm worried about you. Can you please open the door?"

It was funny how with the please, Raven knew she had no choice but to answer her leader's calls.

Hardly any of Robin's features could be seen in the two-inch gap Raven cracked the door open.

"Raven, you've been acting kind of...different lately. You okay?"

No.

"I'm fine."

Robin narrowed his gaze. "Are you sure? You can tell me, Raven."

You wouldn't believe me if I did.

"Everything's fine, Robin. Don't worry about me."

In the crack, Robin's face fell. "You know I can't do that. You're my friend, Raven."

Her heart squirmed guiltily. It had been for Robin most of all that she'd entered this bargain with Slade, to preserve his happiness. Now, Raven couldn't help but feel she was about to destroy it.

"It's...complicated."

Robin tilted his head, trying to get more of his face in the space. "Is it about Aqualad?"

Oh, that's right. Her pretend-boyfriend-who-was-also-sort-of-a-crush-maybe? The beginning thump of a headache began to drum on the back of Raven's skull. "Not really."

Realizing Raven was in no mood to discuss whatever was bothering her, Robin backed away from the door. "All right. But if you need me, or any of us, let us know, okay?"

He smiled that charming Robin smile, the one the teen girls of Jump City had plastered on their bedroom walls. But to Raven, it was the smile of one of her best friends, her family.

"Yeah, sure. Thanks."

How do you do it, Robin?

Robin had saved her from the End. Robin had been the one to drag her out of that nightmare.

Do what?

And Raven and Slade had been the ones to create it.

Keep hoping.

Was this how she was to repay him?

Because of you.

She slammed the door shut before Robin could see the thin streams of tears leaking from each eye.

How dare she betray her family.