Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.
a/n: This is it. I hope I've paced the story accurately enough that this chapter and the characters' behaviors seem realistic. But here it is.
And for anyone worried about the events that take place, I promise I will rationalize them in the next chapter (yes, in spite of the chapter title, this is not the end of the story). But if you think any behavior seems OOC, let me know. Like I said, I'll be clearing up some things in the next chapter, but if you still feel that way, feel free to comment about it.
Thank you, everyone. Your support has been amazing. I love you all.
Reviews, sharing, etc. are always greatly appreciated.
"All at once we were madly, clumsily, shamelessly, agonizingly in love with each other; hopelessly, I should add..."
- Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
Slade: I have to say, Raven, when I found out the truth, I was very impressed. All this time, I had no idea - the power lurking inside you. The glorious destiny that awaits. It's always the quiet ones, isn't it?
- Birthmark
Chapter Thirteen: The End
Luckily for Raven, the card deck never did reach the top of the couch. She tucked them in at nine, Bobby included. Housekeeping did manage to get the stain off of Timmy's blanket, and the gang of little heroes concluded their day.
But it was an entirely different matter for the pale-skinned Titan and the man who was once her enemy.
"Still no idea on what you want from me?" Raven asked dubiously as she walked Slade all of three paces to his room.
"My dear, there are a lot of things I want from you. I simply haven't picked one to ask for."
Slade's expression was fairly clean, but God damm, the deep tenor voice made everything sound sexual. Raven was ashamed of herself, and flushed.
"Fine. Thank you...for helping out."
Slade folded his arms. For a moment, Raven thought it was her cue to leave.
Then, out of nowhere,
"Raven, why were you so adamant on keeping my return a secret from the Titans?"
Silence.
"I am not a fool, Raven," he scolded, eye narrowing testily. "I know you would not have made such a decision without your friends being the motivating factor. At the library of Scath, you demanded I keep them in the dark about the prophecy. When we destroyed the world, out of every living being on Earth, you chose to save them."
Leave them out of this.
A twinge of an unnamed emotion wobbled through Raven's veins at the word 'we'. The sensation was neither pleasant nor was it uncomfortable; it simply was.
Raven cleared her throat, considering an attempt to evade the question. But she was tired, so damn tired of secrets and mystery and boredom and unwanted feelings.
So she squared her jaw and said bluntly, "Your return would have made them upset. They didn't deserve the kind of misery you put us through all over again."
If he was affected by her words, he didn't show it. Dimly, Raven couldn't believe this stony thing in front of her had been babysitting only minutes before.
Abruptly upset, Raven glared pointedly at Slade, who said nothing. "My turn. Why did you leave us alone after my father was banished?"
Slade's mouth bent down, casting a shade of the old enemy she knew and hated. "You can only try your hand at defeating a group of adolescents so many times before it gets tiresome."
Was that an insult or a compliment? Either way, Raven felt a stroke of pride for herself and the Titans.
"So you just...retired?"
Slade rose an eyebrow at her. "My dear, I'm not that old."
"Are you sure?"
"Quite."
"Hmph."
They glared spitefully at one another, old wounds peeling back and raw once more.
"That picture in your room. She's your wife, isn't she?" Raven's tone was a matter-of-fact. She felt numb.
Slade said nothing, but a strange darkness, a pain, filled his good eye. Raven could taste it, slipping through cracks in his mental blockade. It was more than enough of answer.
"Are you still together?"
Slade scoffed an "Absolutely not", broad shoulders lifting up, then down with his breath. But a hint of hurt tainted Slade's leaking aura, which opened another door, one Raven didn't want to enter.
The pain of heartbreak was a horrid, horrid thing. Malchior was the first, the only experience she had to reflect back on.
This time, however, the burning of everything within her ribcage seemed far worse.
Arella, wait! Mother -
Perhaps her poor taste in men was genetic. Sourly, Raven thought of Arella, and how her heartbreak had indirectly brought upon the apocalypse. Maybe she was more like her mother, after all.
It's just a stupid, idiotic, ridiculous crush, Intelligence snapped, tone unusually biting. Really, was there ever a future for you two?
Somehow, Intelligence did not make the dull ache within her chest any less prominent, even though she was right. No matter how much either of them had changed - no matter how discontent Raven was with her current state, no matter how different Slade appeared to be - the facts were still the same. She was seventeen. He was much older (Maybe you've got a thing for old men, Happy sniggered. How old was Malchior, huh?). She was a Teen Titan. He was a wanted criminal. She was Raven. He was Slade.
Really, did you think you could blow out the candles and just wish it all away?
Raven hadn't blown out any candles on her last birthday, considering she'd adamantly refused to have her friends serenade her and Starfire had been eager to pour mustard over the cake. Now, as useless as it might have been, she deeply regretted not doing so. Hypothetically speaking, could you save birthday wishes?
Hypothetically, Raven supposed, anything could be done. Hypothetically, her feelings for Slade could be reciprocated. Hypothetically, she could begin a relationship with him. Hypothetically, the Titans would not lose their tempers and/or minds over said relationship. Hypothetically, she could be happy.
So she wished, deep in her heart, for a chance. Just a single, small chance at happiness, however that would come about. Raven was tired of being sad, of being unhappy. She was tired of not knowing.
What now?
Raven bit her lip, debating.
Then,
"Slade, I apologize if I offend you, but I think...whatever she did, whatever it was that caused you pain, whoever was at fault...I think if she saw you now, she would regret the separation. I would."
His eye widened. "You don't know what you're saying."
"I do. And don't make me say it again."
The anger she knew so well surfaced briefly in his expression, but was quick to pass. This was the softest Raven had ever seen him, and it was exhilarating.
Slade's voice was raspy, husky. "We've discussed what I want from you, Raven. But what do you want of me?"
Your manhood, said Passion, beaming deviously.
Yet Raven herself didn't answer, because she didn't have one. She barely knew what she wanted from herself - how could she demand something of another?
So she said, "Good night, Slade," turned, and went back inside her room. All three children were snoring loudly under the covers, but Raven was somewhat startled to find Bobby wide awake, sitting up and staring at her.
"Go to sleep, Bobby," she ordered sternly, only poorly veiling the eerie feeling the bear was giving her.
Per usual, the bear said nothing in return, but made no move to lay back down until Raven herself went to bed.
.
Raven had one more day with the children before she had to return them to their foster home. After that, she had the prom to attend. Aqualad had told her that since they were only chaperones who 'were going on a friendly date', they needn't buy formal wear and just to go in their uniforms. However, Starfire was incredibly unhappy with this particular development.
"You must wear a dress!" the alien wailed over Raven's morning transmission, clearly heartbroken.
"No. The last time I put on a dress is when Mother-Mae Eye forced me into one."
"But this is different! On my planet, to attend such mating rituals without presentable attire is punishable by death!"
That seems extreme, sniffed Lazy. Aliens.
"Prom isn't a mating ritual, Starfire."
"Wouldn't say that," laughed Cyborg, hauling a stereo behind the visage of the redheaded girl.
Irritation sparkled through her nerves. "Prom is not supposed to be a mating ritual."
Starfire's big green eyes were on the brink of spilling tears. "But I fear for you and Aqualad! Isn't a dress customary for Earth dates?"
"No, Star, they aren't," Robin sighed from somewhere offscreen. "Why don't you believe me?"
"They're not," agreed Raven. "And Aqualad was the one who said we just need to wear our uniforms. It's not a big deal."
Starfire blinked. "Raven, are you not enamored with our dear friend?"
Her heart beat nervously. "No, I'm not." And she wasn't. She knew that, now, even if she knew he was better for her.
Disappointment clouded the alien's face. "Oh," she said, softly.
Raven rolled her eyes to the ceiling. Jesus Mary Joseph, she hated having friends.
"Um...but if you want, you can, ah...do my makeup?"
"Oh, thank you, thank you Raven!"
Raven felt as though Starefire's arms had reached through the communicator and knocked every particle of oxygen from her body. "Okay, okay! Calm down."
The screen abruptly fizzled gray. Raven half-expected the transmission cut because Starfire's alien hugs against their glass widescreen had smashed it.
She shut the communicator and sighed. The hotel lobby was fairly empty this morning, save one sleepy family toting their suitcases to the car. Raven watched them for a little bit, gaze following the the two babes of the bunch.
"Done!" Timmy screamed from behind her. Raven turned, noting a polished plate from their continental breakfast.
"Inside voice, Timmy."
Melvin looked up from arranging strips of bacon into the shape of a smiley face. "Where's Mister Slade?"
Where was Slade? Raven hadn't felt his energy from his room, nor was he at breakfast. She'd even checked the gym - out of curiosity, she hastily told herself, and nothing more. But he was nowhere to be found.
Raven was worried her boldness had scared him away. The thought of Slade being simply...gone, was a depressing one. As much as Raven hated it, some part of her relied on the man now, or else she'd slip back into her old self. Raven did not want to be the old Raven; she liked this new, different version of herself.
But what if the new Slade didn't want to be different?
I'm sorry.
A more tender moment between Raven and Beast Boy resurfaced in her memory.
For what? You're not the one who -
Damn. Fool me once, shame on you.
No. I'm sorry he broke your heart.
But fool me twice?
Raven already an experience like this with Malchior. How could she be so stupid and let it repeat again? She doubted Beast Boy would be so kind to comfort her again, especially under the circumstances.
Terra.
Beast Boy had been enraged over the Terra incident. Quite frankly, Raven saw no excuse for Slade. He didn't have one. He didn't deserve one.
Was that really the same man before her today?
"I'm going to go up to the rooms," Raven said faintly. "Call me if you need anything."
"Yah!" squeaked Teether, who was chewing through a plate. Raven considered stopping it, but figured the toddler would either eat that or the table, so she chose the route with the least amount of damage.
From the end of the table, Bobby's beady eyes blinked at her. He wasn't smiling.
.
Let's get a peek into Slade's place, urged Passion as they made their way to the rooms. Maybe we can steal his boxers, or even better, catch him showering.
"I just want to find him," Raven replied, a tad desperately. Reaching his door, she tapped her knuckles against the beige surface
"Slade?"
To her surprise, the door creaked open a sliver, just like it had at his home. By habit, Raven squeezed herself through, and the door shut behind her.
"Slade, I - "
A mouth was on hers, hot and dark. Raven was so alarmed that she couldn't kiss back; he had to pull away.
"This," Slade hissed, his pupil shrinking. "I want this."
Everything below Raven's waist filled with heat. She shook her head, attempting to retain coherent thoughts.
"N-no," Raven gasped, feeling his fingers tighten against her hips. This was so sudden, too sudden! Hell, her kids were still downstairs, eating breakfast! "Slade, I, ah, I, we...we can't -"
They were kissing again, and whatever sentence she'd been forming drifted away in a passion-filled haze as they managed to fall onto the mattress behind them. He tasted like smoke. All of Raven's body was on fire.
Skies will burn.
"Raven," he murmured into her hair. Desperately, Raven responded by clinging to his neck and hanging on for all she was worth.
Flesh will become stone.
She was ready. God, she was ready. Heaven knew she deserved this. For once in her miserable, now-useless existence, why shouldn't she have something she wanted?
Beside them, a lightbulb shattered in a crack of black energy. In between kisses, Raven could make out the shards of glass hovering in mid-burst. The lights hummed and buzzed, flickering periodically, throwing sparkles of the broken glass.
"Slade," she choked. "Stop, stop!"
The glass fell all at once, like a shower of frozen rain.
Slade pulled away, glowering at her.
"Raven, enough of this nonsense. You knew just as well as I that this was going to happen. No matter what we could have done, there was nothing we could do to stop it."
These were old words, spoken in an entirely different context. Dimly, Raven pondered whether or not he remembered threatening her saying almost the exact same thing.
Now, the only difference was was a 'we' instead of a 'you'. No longer did it feel like an accusation, or the mocking of a failure. They were in this together.
The sun will set on your world, never to rise again!
Numbly, weakly, Raven shook her head. Christ, she hated being this inarticulate. "If I - if we do this...the Titans..."
Ah, yes. Lately, the people she cared about more than anyone else seemed to be dragging her down, rather than pushing her forward. It was none of their faults - it simply was what it was.
But really, it was beginning to grow cumbersome.
What now?
Slade stared at her for a long, long time. Raven feared she'd made him upset. Tentatively, she unwound a hand and trailed it along his face. A few wrinkles, scars, and the hair of his beard all skimmed against the nerves within her fingers; never had she imagined such a moment of intimacy with him.
"Slade," she said, voice hushed.
At the sound of his name on her lips, Slade's good eye fell shut. "Raven."
It was her name, what she went by, but it was more than that too - it was a plea, from a man to a woman. In the most primal sense, he wanted her. Slade was begging for her, all in the span of a few short syllables.
Raven had never felt so powerful, not even when she defeated her father. Slade, the man who haunted the nightmares of her past and the dreams of her future, was at her mercy.
She waited for a perverted comment from Passion, or words of encouragement from Brave. But her emotions were silent, allowing Raven to make the choice for herself.
Time won't wait forever.
Slowly, surely, Raven lifted her head off the pillow and kissed both of Slade's eyes, good and bad.
You can't run away from who you are.
The anxiety, the restlessness she'd been harboring since Tokyo melted away into nothing, and while Raven still had doubts for the future, she had never felt so sure of the now.