Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

a/n: It's been a while since I've updated, so sorry about that. I had to move out of my house for a little bit, and it's been crazy hectic. I'm writing this author's note on my friend's computer as we speak; afterwards, I'm going to delete the browser history, because well, ya'll know the feeling.

Anyway, just want to point out that this chapter is the most OOC I think Slade & Raven have been throughout the story. However, I believe I have pointed the plot in a direction that allows them to behave this way in the story at this point - in other words, I THINK I've maintained authenticity. But since this is my first FF, I have no idea. Let me know what you guys think, 'kay?

Also, one of my short stories came out today in a YA horror anthology, just in time for Halloween. If anyone is interested in the works of a nerdy girl who spends way too much time by herself, let me know. I'll PM you the details. Do I trust you guys? Maybe. But hey, think of it this way: FF is one of my deepest, darkest, nastiest writer's secret. So to say I trust the internet with my material is big. Plus, all of this story's followers/reviewers/etc. have been absolute darlings. Love all of you.

Reviews, sharing, etc. are greatly appreciated. Happy Halloween, everyone. My friends wanted me to be a "Spring Breaker" with them, while all I could do was sit back and envision me and Ron Perlman dressed up as Raven/Slade, trick or treating and making out. Sigh, a girl can dream.

"He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."

- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

Slade: She knows what she must do.

- Birthmark

Chapter Fifteen: The Yet

"Wah," sniffed Teether as Raven tucked the children in. The three babes were starting to look miserable.

"You okay?" Raven inquired, combing through her memory to remember if anything Teether had eaten could actually damage his innards.

"S-sad," Timmy whimpered to the side, thankfully too tired to make any excessive noise. "R-Raven's gonna l-leave us."

A tide of pain slammed into Raven. The kid might as well as punched her in the face.

"I have to go back home," she said sadly, reaching over and running a hand through his red curls. "My friends need me."

It was the truth. Jump City newscasts were showcasing repeated footage of H.I.V.E. attacks. The Titans were fighting valiantly, but Raven saw more than one opportunity where it would have been her turn to attack, or times where she could have cushioned a teammate's fall. Although she didn't miss fighting, and although she was discontent with her life at the Tower, Raven loved her friends; it hurt to see them get their butts kicked.

Yes, her friends needed her, even if she did not always need them.

"Can we come with you?"

Melvin's round face was hopeful.

It was physically painful for Raven to shake her head no.

"Way-way," Teether mumbled, eyes drooping. "Up, up..."

Initially, Raven reached for the toddler, but he began to snore, and she decided against it. Standing up, Raven smoothed the covers around the children, a special warmth filling her heart.

"Good night, kids," she muttered. A rustle to the side made her look; Bobby was tucked under the covers, staring blankly at her.

"Good night, Bobby."

The bear smiled lightly and shut his button eyes.

Raven flicked off the lights and slipped out the front door.

"How are they?"

Raven flinched - she'd nearly bumped into that wide expanse of a chest. Curse puberty for keeping her at the height of a middle school student.

"Fine. Asleep."

Slade folded his arms. "Timmy should be, after the amount of food he consumed."

At the mention of the little boy, Raven's stomach twitched. "You know, Timmy looks up to you."

"I am aware."

She pursed her lips. "Please...be a good one."

The shadow of a smile left Slade's mouth. "Raven..."

An awkward silence filtered between them. What were either of them supposed to say? Hell, what were they?

It was Slade who broke the quiet, clearing his throat before speaking.

"Raven, I feel as if we, perhaps, moved...too quickly."

A gust of air left Raven's body. "How could you tell?"

He gave her an exasperated look. "Do not mistake my concern for regret. You know me well enough to understand that when I want to do something, I do. However, it was obvious you were worried about the circumstances between us after..."

Raven crossed her own arms, feeling small. "It's just confusing, Slade. I've known you for years, but things are different. I'm different. And I'm afraid that...you're not. Not in the way I want you to be. The way I hope you are."

A light fixture above them flickered, twice.

"Come," Slade turned, opened his door, holding it open for her. Willingly, Raven entered, and Slade shut the door behind her.

"Sit."

Raven narrowed her eyes. "You're not going to pull out a bottle and offer me a drink, are you?"

Slade's silver eyebrows inched up his face. "Would you like me to?"

No, said Passion. I want to be coherent for the sex. Hurry up already.

"No."

Slade smirked, and for the millionth time, Raven wondered if he could read her thoughts.

He walked over and sat on the mattress; it creaked under his weight. Reluctantly following suit, Raven sat beside him, only a few inches away.

"Talk."

She glowered. "I'm not a dog, Slade."

He chuckled, and the sound was beautiful. "My dear, whatever your concerns may be, don't think we don't know one another. Don't tell me you've forgotten how we destroyed the world."

"How could I?"

"It seems this conversation is long overdue, then."

Raven blinking, mentally scrambling to make sense of the scenario unfolding before her. Then, she blurted,

"I was born in a place called Azarath."

Slade frowned. "Trigon already -"

"I'm not finished yet. I hardly know my mother, because the monks wanted me to prevent forming emotional attachments. They told me I couldn't have children. And I'm going to have to report what we did."

Phew. That was an uncomfortable weight off her chest.

Slade's expression was incredulous. "Why on Earth -"

"It's policy. Azarath is a big part of who I am, Slade. If I got married, that's where I would go. I grew up there. My mother lives there. They only want the best for me. They just want to monitor any chances of something...bad happening. To me, and to anyone...else."

Slade looked positively stricken. But his expression cleared after a few moments, and he said, "Trigon always said Azarath was a thorn in his side. Forgive me, but I do understand the context, now."

If Raven were anyone else, she might have been upset. But Raven understood the strangeness of the situation, and she forgave Slade, privately. He wasn't being disrespectful - merely, he didn't fully understand the potential danger any offspring of Raven's would pose. "Slade, if I had a child, it would have a part of me. Trigon could just as easily exploit my blood through his grandchild."

This kept Slade silent. Together, they remembered the chaos of the End, and the pain it had brought them both.

"You weren't such a bad kid, yourself."

Intrigued, Raven raised an eyebrow.

"When I woke up," Slade explained, "I was furious. I'd been tricked by a demon, and the world was nothing. I didn't feel regret, only vengeance. And all of a sudden, you were there, insisting I calm down."

Raven leaned forward, eyes wide, interested. Slade's hair shimmered under a new angle of light. "Why?"

"You said I was making your head hurt. At the time, curiosity won out over anger. I knew the Titans would do anything to get you back, even if you were a shadow of your former self. And as soon as I thought that, you ran away from me."

At this revelation, Raven smirked. "I was a smart kid."

The good eye dilated. "Very funny."

She sat back, pleased with herself. "It's what I do best."

"Hmm. I think I liked it more when you were just a quiet, silly girl trying to outwit me."

"Trying?"

"We'll call it a tie."

"Fine."

They were comfortable, far more than they should have been. Raven hadn't found conversation this easy in a long, long time.

"My turn," she said, hoisting her legs into a meditative pose on the bed. "What was your wife's name?"

Slade's expression went lax, and Raven's heart went still. What would he say? Would he say anything at all?

"Her name was Adeline."

God, it looked painful for him to say it. A fear unlike any other gripped Raven so fast, so hard, she refused to address it.

"Who is Joseph?"

"Joseph is one of my sons."

Intuition brushed past Raven, fleeting and strange, with clips of curly blonde hair and strange eyes. But the moment passed, and Raven was back to the present.

One of his sons, Intelligence murmured. How many Slade juniors are out there?

Childishly, Raven also chose to avoid that topic, as more children meant more time spent with his ex-wife.

"Why did you and Adeline...separate?"

A dark cloud shrouded Slade's features. Raven wondered if she overstepped her boundaries, quickly amended, "If that's private, I understand. Some secrets aren't meant to be shared."

These words seemed to make Slade relax, yet he shook his head. "It's not that. Nevertheless, it is quite the story, but it does end with this."

To her mortification, Slade pointed to the leather patch covering his bad eye. So it hadn't been the result of a criminal mishap, after all. Raven could almost feel the universe's tendency for irony in the air.

"Wow, that's...terrible. I'm sorry."

Smirk. "Don't be. It's never slowed me down."

"Beast Boy used to say that you took it out yourself to seem more mysterious."

"Interesting. I'm happy to hear that I provoked such profound fear in you and your friends."

"Don't push it."

God, what were they? They'd gone from enemies to allies to business partners to equals to lovers to this. Most of these changes had been so fast - Raven was dizzy with just how fast things had gone. Neither of them were ones to make rash maneuvers, yet here they were.

"Slade, I..."

Here we go, she thought miserably. "I know this is sudden, but, we have known each other for years, and maybe I'm being presumptuous, but...I think you're my answer."

Slade's shoulders straightened, and he looked intrigued. "Your answer?"

What now?

Shame flitted through Raven's nerves. "After Japan, things have been - different. I didn't know what it was, not at first, but I think I'm ready for something new in my life. Something that...doesn't involve the Titans."

Halfheartedly, Raven wished she had a camera to capture the surprise on Slade's face. His expressions were usually well tempered, but this was the strongest she'd ever seen it. She supposed she couldn't blame him, really. Hadn't she saved the world for her friends? Hadn't she made it clear to Slade that she valued their happiness over her own?

"Well," his tone curved and dragged out the word, and Raven sunk under the deep red wine voice once more. "That is something I did not anticipate."

Raven lowered her head, fingers curling into her thighs. "I love them. The Titans are my family. And I can't leave them."

Slade's eyebrows were traveling farther and farther up his handsome face. "You mean to say that I am the answer to your dilemma, yet you won't follow what you believe will make you happy?"

Tears burned the corners of her eyes. How on Earth could water sting so much? "I owe them, Slade. I owe them everything I have. You, of all people, should know."

Raven's voice was growing softer, dangerously close to cracking. "So, the truth is...I don't know. And I hate it."

Your optimism is quite enjoyable, Raven.

The air between them buzzed with tension.

But you're forgetting one thing.

"Raven," Slade said sternly. "Whatever might have changed between us, there is much that has not."

"But I have."

What now?

She looked down. Her thighs were so pale, contrasted so sharply with the black fabric of her leotard and the blue sheen of her cloak. Grey, black, and blue - the colors of a bruise.

There was pressure under her chin, and Raven obliged the pull of Slade's fingers. He was so handsome, with the beard and the creases and the scars - all of him.

"What have you done to me?" Slade murmured, flicking his gaze to her mouth. His fingers tightened ever so slightly, and Raven's breath hitched. A fleet of her old self, the girl Slade held over a burning city, flashed through her.

But the newer, stronger Raven unfurled within. A raven of energy fluttered, grew and cawed between her organs. It was empowering; blood rushed, hot and fast, through her entire form.

What now?

You've changed, Brave smiled. This is you.

Raven shifted, sitting on her knees, meeting Slade's height on the bed. Slowly, she wound her arms around Slade's large neck, staring straight into him. All the uneasiness, all the bemusement, was dripping away like candlewax, hot and slippery.

Where's the gem?

His fingers moved, from her chin to her upper arms, rubbing. "Never," he muttered, voice gravely and deep. "Never did I imagine...you were right there."

Not here. But, much closer than you think.

Raven smirked, boldly winding closer. She felt like the epitome of femininity. Damn, why hadn't she listened to Passion sooner?

Yeah, agreed Passion. Wait, what?

The two said nothing more, and Raven kept thinking, kept wondering what now, what now, what now, what now, what now...

.

I hate science, sniffed Passion.

"Why?"

Because it's keeping you from having babies.

No, I'm keeping her from having babies, piped Intelligence.

You know what I mean, grumbled Passion. Quit mocking my pain.

She and Slade had been more prepared the second time around. But that didn't stop Passion from griping about lost opportunities all the way to the train station. Raven couldn't get the emotion to shut up about her uterus shriveling up and dying like an underfed animal.

However, Raven disagreed. In fact, her uterus was far from neglected nowadays.

Stop it, Timid covered her ears. You sound like Passion.

Huh. Raven supposed she did. Shame and disgust rattled her bones, and she quickly shook her head.

"Way-way," Teether said sadly, offering his binky before Raven handed him to the foster mother. Obediently, she took it - Teether gave one to her every time they parted.

This was her fourth one; this time, Raven was pleased that the foster woman would purchase a new one.

"Bye, Raven," Melvin waved with one hand, other clutching Bobby's paw. The foster mother stood with her arms folded, clearly not allowing any of the children to hold her hands.

"Bye, Melvin. Bye, Bobby."

Pudgy rolled her eyes. Unbeknownst to her, the bear waved goodbye.

Timmy, who was holding tightly to his blanket, spun firmly to Slade.

"Mister Slade," he said shakily. "I want you to have my-my blanket."

Slade crouched down, meeting the little boy's eye. "You don't have to do that, Timmy."

"I-I want to. Y-you don't carry a b-blanket. I-I wanna b-be l-like y-you."

The redhead thrust the blue square of fabric in front of him, lips trembling. Raven sucked in a breath, waiting.

And in time, who knows?

Slade's silver hair shimmered, and he put a large hand on Timmy's shoulder.

I might become like a father to you.

"I'm proud of you," he said firmly. When Timmy's face lit up, Slade gently pried the blanket from the boy's fingers.

"Let's go," the foster mother said crossly. Timmy grinned up at Slade, darted to where his family was leaving with a "Byeeeeee!"

The gang of little heroes were led away. As always, Raven felt a heavy weight in her throat as her kids grew smaller and smaller in the distance. She desperately wished someone would adopt them - but who would take in three super-powered tots who weren't even siblings? Their chances were slim to none.

"Timmy is growing into a fine young man."

Slade had a thoughtful expression plastered to his face.

"Don't get any ideas," Raven warned. "Timmy's off limits for apprenticeship."

He snorted. "You insult me, my dear."

When Slade said my dear, a spark of black energy nipped between their hands - which were only a few inches apart - like static. Both started, and once they realized what had happened, Raven's face could've fried an egg.

"My, my," Slade smirked. Raven braced herself for the insult or condescending remark, and was scrambling to think of a good comeback.

But no such words left his mouth. Instead, Slade wove his large fingers into her small ones, and walked them through the train doors, which hissed shut shortly after. Neither of them spoke, because there was nothing more to say, and the train moved forward.