A/N: I am so sorry I haven't posted in a while. School is busy, life is busy everything is busy! Thanks to all my reviewers you guys are the best. I always love feedback, which is why after reading you'll have to let me know what you think. Thanks to my beta reader: Essy. Hope you enjoy the chapter.

Going Out With a Bang

Chapter 6

When Elliot was younger, he loved roller coasters. It gave him the feeling of flying, of being free, up in the air where nothing could touch him. No worries for those few precious minutes. He never screamed, but he always had his hands up, sliding around those corners and falling from the drops.

He had learned, though, that not all roller coasters were alike: not all of them gave him that flying sensation - some twisted his stomach so that afterward he would have to find the closest bathroom or bush. His life was like that roller coaster now.

Elliot looked over at Dani, the moon throwing her face into shadow, but illuminating her hair. Cragen had picked them for the stake out, but Elliot was having a trouble keeping his eyes on the suspect's house; luckily for him, Dani was watching the house as he watched her.

"Stabler, stop watching me," Dani said still looking straight ahead.

"You look nice in the moon light, Beck," he said flirtatiously. She looked over at him then, noticing the boyish grin on his face.

"What was that, Stabler?" You trying to flirt with me?" she questioned mockingly.

He grinned. "Nope, just stating the truth, Beck."

"So we're back to last names?"

"Well, considering you've never called me Elliot in the first place; I'd say, yeah, we're back to last names."

"Ouch, that one hurt." She started to smile, but seemed to change her mind and paused instead. "I didn't know you wanted me to call you by your first name," she stated quickly, looking back at the suspect's house.

"Huh-" was all Elliot could get out before Dani cut him off.

"There he is. He's coming out of his house." Reacting quickly, they opened their doors and went after him.

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Elliot looked up at the sky, trying to see the stars through the city lights. Were all stars drowned out by the city lights? Was that what they were destined for?

But stars could, and would, burn out eventually, which, Elliot thought, happened to every human at some point. That point seemed to be coming closer every year.

He remembered a case they had a while back, when Olivia said that maybe it - doing this job - wasn't worth it. There would always be another perp, another victim. He remembered telling her she could always walk away. No, I can't, she had whispered.

He remembered thinking that Olivia wouldn't last long, most rookies didn't. They didn't understand that the cases they dealt with weren't easy. Most cops thought of them as the panty police, but they probably couldn't last more than six months, maybe less, in this unit. Olivia had surprised him at first with how well she had taken the first case. She threw up. He remembered saying there was no crying in baseball. But he thought she would have finished the case with or without the comment. Something's driving her, something that most people would never understand, and something that makes her great with the victims.

"Elliot?" At hearing his name, Elliot turned around quickly to see Dean Porter.

"What are you doing?"

"Just looking at the stars," Elliot replied easily.

"In the city? That's probably as effective as owning a car in New York." Elliot couldn't help but crack a smile.

"What can I do for you, Dean?"

"I was going to visit her and thought you might want to come along."

How could Elliot say it nicely? That he didn't want to visit her with him, that she was what mattered to him and sharing that experience with the man who took her away, wasn't something he wanted to do?

Instead, all he could think to say was, "That would be nice."

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Elliot could see the way he looked at her, knew the look well, as he had been giving it to her for some time. How could he explain to Port-Dean, that he wanted him to back off, that he and Olivia had been through some pretty tough shit together and that he deserved a chance with her, if she ever woke up?

Dean looked at her, just looked, not saying anything for a few moments. Then, "She looks so fragile, so breakable…so not her, you know?"

"She looked even worse at the beginning, but she seems to be getting some strength, which the doctors say is a good sign."

Making idle conversation had never been one of his strong points, and with the subject being what it was, Elliot didn't think he wanted to. He was there…what more did Dean want from him? It was hard enough coming alone.

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They had just reached the building, rushing in after the perp. He signaled for her to go first, hadn't even thought that maybe he should. He watched her check both sides before nodding and going around the corner. He waited for a few seconds, like he had been trained, looked around both corners himself and then followed her, just in time to see her take another corner. He heard gun shots and took off after Olivia, hoping that she had taken the shots. He turned the corner in time to see her fall to the ground, blood pooling around her body from the wound in her side, and the perp running from the scene.

He tossed and turned as he relived those moments, yelling out in his sleep.

He woke in a cold sweat, wondering why.

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At an apartment across town Dean Porter woke from a vivid dream, sheets draped around his legs, body covered in a warm sweat, panting from excursion, wondering when this had happened and when things had changed, but also wondering why.

A/N: Can you guess what Porter's dreaming? You'll see next chapter!