Chapter Eight: Courage to Conquer

She woke to find him gone from the bed. Shifting sleepily she stretched and yawned in an attempt to brush off the last of the drowsy nighttime feelings. Once again the little boy with violet-blue eyes came to her, running through a leafy forest that was so familiar and yet so alien to her. She ran her fingers through her hair and rolled over trying to shake the memory. She had wanted to ask the boy something – anything really, just to make sure what she was about to do would actually help him, but she was hesitant. This was something she had to do on her own, she felt it. Whether it was to prove it to herself that it could be done and she could be cured, or to prove to her brother and his wife that all hope was not lost, she was unsure for which she strived. She justified in the end that it was a little of both.

Her eyes were foggy but she sat up anyway, holding the sheets to her bare torso. The room was a little chilly but residual heat from the bed meant that Éomer could not have gone far. She blinked the last sleep from her eyes and then started searching the room. When her eyes failed her she frowned and then closed her eyes. She'd had an idea the previous day; if she could maintain stolen energy within her person, she thought perhaps she could feel out another's personal energy just as easily at a distance. She concentrated on her memory of Éomer, a strong and capable man, a horse master, and her lover. The tendrils of her energy sought out his, linking them together. She found him, not within the room but just outside. Something must have drawn him away. She latched onto his energy and gave a little mental tug.

She waited a few seconds and then gave another little tug. The door to the chamber opened then and Éomer walked in, looking slightly confused, wearing his trousers and a loose cotton shirt. "What just happened? Was that you?" he asked. He came and sat on the edge of the bed beside her. She moved to be embraced by him, which he obliged.

"I couldn't find you," she said simply.

"Were you afraid I'd gone far?"

She shook her head, nuzzling it under his chin. "No. Who was at the door?"

"Faramir."

"Is anything wrong?" she leaned back then to look at him. "Was he looking for me?"

He smiled at her gently, "Nothing is wrong. He was looking for you, but I told him it should wait since you were still sleeping."

"You could have woken me."

"I could have," he inclined his head. "But then I would have denied myself of this moment with you."

"But I—"

"No," he held a finger to her lips, silencing her excuses. "I know you have things to do, Aranee. I know you have many things on your mind, not the least of which is finding a way to give Arwen back her strength. But for now, I have you here and it will be the two of us. I want you to feel what lies between us first and remember that this is what you have to call yours."

"What do you mean?" she frowned. "Do you think I could forget?"

"Not consciously, no. But I've seen you slip before when something was taken from you. I've known you to build walls. Albeit they were different circumstances, but before you go on this quest of yours, I want you to know you are loved."

Throughout what he was saying he hooded his gaze, looking down, almost unsure of what he was saying and how she would react. He didn't want to push or pull her in any direction. But he had to let her know how he felt. The small link of energy she'd just provided between them was enough of a confirmation of her power over him. She tugged and he came willingly, if uncertain what had been happening. When he saw her though, bedraggled and just waking, he knew that there was nothing he would not do for her. He knew he loved her and he wanted her to know that before anything else happened. Éomer didn't want to be a pessimist—he had every faith in her skills, but life forces had a power all their own. He knew something about the mixing of magic and medicine from his mother and he didn't want Aranee meeting the same fate.

Aranee watched the emotions flicker over his face and after a shiver ran down her spine from the sincerity of his words she took a deep breath and exhaled. She could see the intensity of his eyes and the curve of his lips, the arch of his brow and the profound solidity of his posture. Aranee knew from the beginning he was a man of honor who never said anything he did not mean. But he, like their relationship, was young in comparison to all other things that had happened in her life. She could feel his love for her, the warmth and the wonderful weight. To feel this again was not something she'd expected so soon. She was afraid now. Would this feeling end like it had before?

She watched him and knew that she could not keep him out of her heart forever just as she knew that the only way she'd ever protected herself was to build up a wall around her heart. In all her years she had never encountered this and she fought the urge to pull back. Instead she let herself inhale and exhale, taking in the emotion and holding on tight. She could feel her fluttering heart calm to a steady beating and she held Éomer's gaze for as long as it took for her to know that those walls she was fighting to keep down would never find foundation.

She wanted to thank him for loving her, for breaking down the last reservations that she'd kept hidden. But she couldn't find the words. She wanted to show him, but there was no physical act that would prove as profound as his courage in her. So instead she reached deep down into her being and brought the link between them alive.

She held her hands in front of her, fingers pointing upward, palms facing Éomer. She gave an encouraging smile and nodded for him to do the same. Palm to palm and focusing on the beating of her heart and the unexplainable faith that Éomer had in her, she channeled the energy. She willed it to take corporeal form. A lightning show, like crackling fireworks of blues and greens exploded around their connected hands. She moved her hands back a few inches and she watched as the sparks leapt from his skin to hers. His blue energy, calming and steady wrapped around her green, significant of life and nature.

She looked up at him and saw the awe and wonder in his eyes. The energy stabilized, she took one of her hands covering his and placed it over her heart, mirroring the same over his. Linked together like this the green and blue changed to gold and lit the room with the near-blinding, shimmering light. It was warm and enveloped them.

Letting the light die down Aranee inhaled and exhaled again before falling into Éomer's arms from exhaustion. It might have been foolish to exert herself so selfishly for pure pleasure, knowing that she had very powerful magic to work in the near future, but like Éomer had said, she would not deny herself this time with him. Caught up against Éomer's chest she closed her eyes and took comfort in knowing that he was there.

"You are a wonder," Éomer whispered into her hair.

"I am grateful to you for everything you have done for me," she replied, at last finding the words she had been looking for. Moving back to look at him she continued. "I always distanced myself from people thinking they would be hurt knowing I would far outlive them." His eyes dropped now, hearing the truth of her words but she persevered. "I have lost much in this life by not truly living. I lost the courage for myself, my skill, the belief in all that I could be in this life. You, Éomer, have given that back to me." She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips. Her voice dropped to a whisper as she leant against his forehead. "If I die tomorrow, it will not be for lack of belief or courage, because I have you in my life. If I died tomorrow I would have you know that I love you."

He took a deep breath. "You won't die tomorrow," he said firmly. "I won't let you."

"I won't die tomorrow," she smiled, shaking her head in defiance. "I won't leave you alone."

A few moments passed. They were still and calm in one another's arms. Finally, they came out of their reverie when he asked her, "What do you need from me?"

She didn't need to ask 'with what?' She already knew. He wanted to relieve her burden of Arwen's life energy. "I don't know," she responded truthfully. "I need to speak with Ninia. The White Witch will know. I won't risk anyone else in this endeavor. I risked Arwen to save Aragorn. I won't ask any more if I can help it. I don't want anyone else to get hurt."

"Will you let me know if I can be of assistance?" he asked in earnest. This was not him being brave in the face of death, for she knew he'd already fought a hundred battles and waged war against the most dangerous foes for the sake of freeing his land from evil. This was not a king's request; this was a man giving his support to the woman he loved in times of great duress.

Under other circumstances Aranee would have said no, to protect him. But he trusted her and in return she must also disclose her full trust in him. "I will," she promised.

Aranee went alone to find Faramir. Her body felt heavy and unruly, with a strange discomfort on her shoulders. She was not certain, but she felt that it was the extra energy residing within her, restless, knowing that it was so close to being free. She shrugged it aside and continued on her path.

Éomer told her Faramir was spending the day in the library and she smiled knowing that this was a place of great peace for both her and her friend. Her heart smiled when she thought of Éomer and unconsciously sought out his energy. When she found it, instead of tugging, she embraced him and in her mind's eye she could see him smile and return the embrace. It was comforting to know that even apart they could still be together.

This thought brought Aragorn and Arwen back to her mind. If all things went well with the transference of energy, Aranee hoped to give the same power to her brother and his wife, and his son if at all possible. She knew the disconnect he and Arwen were feeling. It was familiar and not a feeling she would wish on anyone.

She pushed through the door of the library and walked through the dusty shelves, past tomes and scrolls and scribes with their heads bent over pale parchment with ink and pen. This is where the knowledge of her family resided, and she took additional comfort in knowing her family was expanding now to include Éomer and Éowyn as well.

She turned to a well-known alcove with a window seat to find Faramir sitting there, books scattered around him as he lounged lazily back against the wall, tome open on his knees and sun blazing in behind him. His brow was furrowed as he read.

"Puzzled? Or simply frustrated because you cannot read Elvish, dear one?" she teased, announcing her arrival and noting the title of the book he was frowning at.

"'Nee, you are ever so infuriating in your jesting manner," he replied, setting the book aside and shuffling books aside for her to sit.

"Am I?" she asked, sitting down, touching the leather bindings of the books as she did. "Would you like my help? Why are you reading that?"

He shook his head, "At the behest of Aragorn, actually."

"Aragorn?" Aranee frowned. "I wonder why he did not look into this himself…" she took the book from his knees and flipped through the pages, her eyes skimming over the ancient text, deciphering it quickly and efficiently. "Do you know what this book is about?"

The left side of his mouth hitched slightly in amusement, "Do I look like an elf?"

Quirking her eyebrow in equal amusement she replied, "Not in the slightest. Despite your height, your eyes are nowhere near blue enough."

His grey-blue eyes narrowed at her, noting her sarcasm, "Are you going to translate it for me, or have you just come to poke fun at me?"

"Strange that the King would get his advisor to go through books that the king could read himself, isn't it? Aragorn would know what this says far better than you or I. Was this why you came to see me earlier?"

"I assure you, this was not the intention. Aragorn does not even know I have collected these books," he gestured to the pile.

"What did he ask you to do then?" she asked, frowning. She turned the book over, knowing very well what the contents were and then back to Faramir. Had he just pulled this tome off the shelf at random?

"He made it clear that he was worried about Arwen. He would have consulted Lord Elrond, had he been nearer. But as it is, Lord Elrond is set to depart for the Grey Havens very soon and his farewell to Arwen in her fragile state may prove disastrous on both counts. I have very little knowledge of why Aragorn asked this of me, of all people, but I think it was more to do with my outsider's perspective." Faramir shrugged.

"You're not an outsider!" Aranee protested.

"By the standards to match everything that the others have been through with Aragorn and my small involvement towards the end of the war and the beginning of his reign, to him, I am still new and therefore not as involved. I can view these items with an objective eye and not get too emotionally attached because I know Arwen the least."

It was strange logic, but Aranee guessed it made a small amount of sense. Aragorn would not want to worry his friends. He knew that they were preoccupied with other matters. He was also aware that Faramir had other matters on his mind, but as the Captain of the Guard and Prince of Ithilien, these were matters of protection, and that made them Faramir's concern.

"I can understand that," Aranee conceded. "These books will not help Arwen though." She had not confessed her plans in detail to Faramir yet and this seemed an ideal time. "I will Heal her, Faramir."

He frowned and closed the book on his lap. "How are you going to do that?"

"I need to push her energy back into her spirit. That is what is wasting away and what has Aragorn so worried. Her life force was drained. She is Elven which means that it should have affected her less but it turned out to be the opposite and affected her more. In our efforts to save Aragorn, I locked on to an energy source not my own in order to find the power to dive that deep. The poison had driven him so far from the surface that I needed more and so without thinking, I took it. From Arwen."

"But how will you force this energy back? Do you even know how that works?"

Aranee nodded her head from side to side. "I know a little. But not everything. I even experimented with my own life energy this morning."

"What?" he looked shocked at the idea. "With who?"

"Éomer. He said and did things that needed more than just simple words of thanks. The moment warranted a physical declaration of my feelings for him. So with a concentrated effort I exchanged our energies and created a physical manifestation of them. It was really quite beautiful."

Faramir was still shocked and could not comprehend what she was describing. She knew that she was going to have to demonstrate to him as well, this power she was able to control. "Just watch."

She held out her hands, palms up. "Put your hands over top of mine, but don't touch me," she told him. He set aside the book and did just that. "From this small connection, my knowledge of you and your aura, and how I am deeply connected with you in life, I am going to attempt to create an energy circle."

This new magic was making her tremble but she kept a calm face. She was very unfamiliar with this magic and unsure how exactly it would react with some people, but she had to have faith that this was the right direction to be going. She had a task to do and the more people who stood behind her with their support would enable her to complete the task before her.

She then began to channel the energy from Faramir's right hand to her left hand below it, up through her left arm and across her chest, down her right arm and up through her palm and jumping across the small space of air between their hands, back into his left hand. She linked herself to him in that small alcove and once drawing the energy, feeling it flow through her like warm water with a light airy feeling to it, she brought the energy to life with a colour she picked at random. Silver. Silver reminded her of her relationship with Faramir in that it was symbolic of subtle strength. With him, she had always found herself a stronger person but flexible enough to be molded into someone better. Other symbolic meanings for silver were clarity, awareness, persistence, vision and strength, which were qualities that she had always sought after with Faramir.

The silver energy snapped and cracked between them and once the concentration had been gained where she could cease her intense focus she looked up to see how he was reacting to the phenomenon.

He was staring at her, his eyes blazing with the reflection of the silver ring she had created. She breathed in and out again and the manifestation of their connection detached, instead of flowing directly through them, as a never-ending circle surrounding them. It swirled faster and faster and Aranee found that she didn't need to exert copious amounts of energy anymore to keep the circle unbroken. The speed diminished as she thought these words and her breathing calmed. She could feel the vibration for the circle, the connection with Faramir embodied and separate. This was confirmation that theirs was a connection that was far different from hers and Éomer's. With Éomer, Aranee felt that she would always have to be touching him for this physical manifestation to work properly. With Faramir though, their support and love for one another was not based on touch, but years of trust. He brought strength and clarity to her even at a distance.

The circle had all but halted its spinning. She took the moment to divide her attentions and ask Faramir, "It is not what you expected, is it?"

"What more can you do?" He was wary and slightly afraid. Aranee could understand his apprehension and she had an idea. She wanted the manifestation to last.

She moved her palms away from under his and the circle continued around them. She put her hands on either side of her, palms still up, and beneath the edges of the circle she pushed and compressed it, molding it smaller and smaller as she lifted it over her head at the same time. Now the size of a dinner plate, the circle was in both her hands before her, malleable and easily shaped into whatever she desired. She could feel a pulse beneath the silver and she imagined being able to twist it in the middle to create two circles connected at one side. Bringing it down before her as she envisioned it, it happened before her eyes. Now two circles she continued to compress the connection and when they were the size of two rings she froze it. The connection ceased to spin and vibrate and suddenly fell into her upturned hands as two solid, but separate, silver rings, one bigger and one smaller.

She held them up to the sunlight, completely in awe of her newfound power. It was completely natural and yet so unknown. She smiled up at Faramir and held out one of the rings for him to take. "In that ring," she said as he took it, "is you and I, our connection, forty years of love and dedication."

"Perfect silver," he whispered, slipping it over the middle finger of his right hand. "Perfect fit. This is what you can do? This is what you have to do for Arwen?"

She similarly slipped her ring onto her finger and shrugged, moving the tomes back into her lap for a more substantial tie back to reality. "It will be more complicated than that. I'm almost afraid that I need a connection with the person I'm healing to do anything of value. Yes I can produce these colours and trinkets for you and Éomer, but I do not know Arwen. My link is with Aragorn. Do I have to explain that to him to cure her? Do I need his help to do this?"

Faramir's hand reached out to take hers, the reassuring comfort of their touch renewing that connection and that strength. "Would that be such a bad thing?"

"It might." It was time to voice her fears and to do this she knew that Faramir was the only one who might take the knowledge as an equal. Éomer and Éowyn knew her secret but they had not known her for decades. She had grown up with Faramir, grown into herself. He would know what to say. "What if I tell him and he refuses my help? I would have to tell him the reason for Arwen's weariness, that it was my fault, and then what? Would he welcome me; would he even let me near her? I mean her no harm, but I know him. He is blood. He would do anything to protect those he loves from danger. At in that moment, that danger would be me?"

She brushed her fingers over the book in her lap taking comfort in the solid pages and familiar, yet ancient words. "If I tell Aragorn then, and explain I need that same connection to heal her, I would have to explain how I was linked to him. And my secret would not be hidden any longer. Am I ready for that kind of transparency?"

"'Nee, you're asking the wrong questions."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You're asking how he will react, if you are ready for that. But what if he pulls even further away if Arwen isn't healed? You can't risk telling him but I know that deep down you don't want to lose him again. If you let Arwen die because of your fears and because of your pride, then you will lose him forever. There is something you can do to remedy this, and it will haunt you forever if you do nothing."

Aranee looked out the window over the city as he spoke, feeling each word strike at her heart and in the pit of her stomach, each a rock of truth that made her heavy with fear. Aragorn was her brother and when she met him all those months ago, she knew it was fear keeping her from telling him. Now she would have to push that fear aside to save him again.

Faramir continued speaking. "You overcome every obstacle, Aranee. You fell only to find a greater truth within yourself. This magic," he held up his newly ringed hand gripping her own, "is where your journey has brought you. Eighty years in the making, every event and every choice you have made has brought these connections closer. Like a spider's web you have a network of friends and family whom love you and with you at the centre, the hub of that wheel, it is you that they cannot survive without. Will you let your fears take that away from you?"

She fought the tears but could not keep them dammed up and with a blink of her eyelids they spilled over and she knew he spoke the truth. She pushed the book aside and reached for him. Arms wrapping around his neck, she closed her eyes, crying, and could see the web he described and exactly how each link fit together. If she did not conquer this fear, she would lose those who meant the most to her. In that, she was far more like her brother than she ever considered.

"'Nee," Faramir whispered into her ear, smoothing her hand down her back with his hand, "You are not alone. And as long as you have the power to change and to heal, you will never be lonely, not while you have family standing to support you."

She nodded her head, arms still locked around his neck. She knew what she needed to do. She could not delay any longer. It was time for her to meet her fears head-on and to right the wrongs she had inflicted. She unlocked her arms and leaned back to rest her forehead against his. "I need your help."

Faramir smiled. "Whatever you need, it is yours."