-1AN: Huh whada know. Another chapter. I wish I could write like this for my other story.

Well anyway I'm sick so you'd all better damn well pity me. I've been sitting in my recliner for the past two days too sick to get up and do things…like job hunting.

I've just been surfing the web and writing.

Um yes now about the story. Hope this is good enough for you all. The more I write this the more I'm realizing I'm actually attempting to write a humorous fanfic.

Never done that before. I don't think I write humor very well, but the reviews are saying otherwise so maybe I can???

Please review. I've mentioned this before in my other stories, but reviews give me inspiration. I get really excited when I read a bunch of good reviews and that makes me want to write more.

I'm a review whore I know. But I can't help it. Makes me feel all warm and gooey inside:P

So If you want this story to continue (and not be put on the back burner in favor of my other one) review!

OH and no ones said they would be my beta yet.

Any volunteers?

00000000000

Ichigo opened his eyes. He blinked a few times trying to decide where he was.

He remembered falling asleep in his bed.

Well he most defiantly didn't have a blue ceiling. So he couldn't be in his bed.

It took a moment, the fuzz of sleep was still heavy.

Or at least it was until a familiar face…only bone white with orange eyes suddenly appeared above him.

"ICHIGO!!"

It screamed scaring the living hell out of him. Ichigo screamed, perhaps a little more girly like that he would ever admit, and sat up.

The hollow laughed. It laughed so hard it fell onto the ground holding its stomach.

Ichigo's eyebrow twitched.

God damn hollow.

"What the hell do you want?"

The Hollow choked back its laughter, as it wiped a tear from its eye.

"Nothing much. Just thought the clouds were getting a little stormy."

The Hollow took a deep breath, then crossed its legs Indian style as it looked up at him.

"You ain't think about going back on our deal are you?"

Ichigo swallowed. How had it known? Of course he was thinking about it. The hollow was dangerous. It tried to eat someone for crying out loud.

The Hollows grin faded as it watched the emotions flashing over Ichigo's face.

"Don't even think about it King. We have a deal."

"You tried to eat someone!"

The hollow huffed crossing its arms.

"I only bit him to scare him. I wanted to know where those hollows were."

The Hollow paused.

"And I never swallowed."

"I could still taste it when you left! I had blood in my MOUTH!"

Whitey uncrossed his arms then leaned back on them.

"Is that what's bothering you King?"

"No."

"Yes it is."

The Hollow closed its eyes and leaned back its head.

"You're more afraid of what will happen to you, than of some random soul."
"I am not. I'm worried you might hurt someone!"

The hollow sneered.

"Oh don't give me that bullshit. You are me, I am you remember. You're afraid of what will happen to you. Afraid of some none existent line that separates normal souls from the hollows."

Whitey shook his head, white hair bouncing and moving with the movement.

"You don't get that you've already crossed that line. We're no more a death god than we are a hollow."

"What?"

Ichigo said feeling something constrict in his chest. Whitey sighed.

"You know I don't know. I feel things…things that neither of us understand. From what I gathered, when things like me happen. The line disappeared. It makes us neither."

"Oh."

Ichigo muttered out as he slowly lowered himself to the ground. What the hollow said made sense (sort of). But did that mean he wasn't a death god anymore? The not a hollow was a good thing. But if he wasn't a hollow and he wasn't a death god either, what did that make him?

"I miss the real sun. You have light here, but there is no warmth."

"What?"

Ichigo looked up, startled out of his thoughts.

"Do you know what its like. Being here day after day. No warmth, no real wind. Just a bunch of fake clouds that symbolize your moods. The real world tastes so sweet."

The hollow opened its eyes looking Ichigo straight in the eye.

"Don't you dare take it away. I would destroy you, if only to feel it for a moment longer."

The Hollow jumped up. The insane grin back on its face. It reached out its hand offering to help Ichigo up.

"Still, I'm not a selfish guy. Three hours works for me. I have made my promises. Now you keep yours. Until I break the rules you have no reason to doubt me."

Ichigo looked at the hand, then at the Hollow. Despite everything that happened he couldn't help but agree with it. He hadn't really broke any rules. And if he thought about it, Whitey here had saved them all a lot of trouble. Not to mention all those ghosts that had almost become hollows.

With a groan Ichigo reached up and took the hand. With the Hollow's help he stood up.

"alright…I'll trust you. Just…what the hell was with those three hollows?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

The hollow tightened his grip on Ichigo's hand suddenly yanking him forward. Before Ichigo even thought about fighting, the hollow draped an arm over his should. Ichigo stiffened at the casual friendly contact. It laughed and stuck its tongue out at him.

"Don't worry so much King. It ain't good for our health."

0000

Ichigo woke up. For a moment he stared at his familiar white ceiling.

He pondered about why the universe seemed to hate him. And about all the shit that seemed to happen to him.

First there was Rukia making him a death god. Her brother nearly killing him, 3 days in a hole, and he didn't even want to get into all the shit that happened in Soul Society.

Now this…he had a hollow living in his head.

Sitting up Ichigo stretched.

Oh boy was he glad it was vacation. 2 weeks of no school…a good thing to. While the hollow had promised not to come out at school. It proved it had no problems coming out as soon as that last bell rang. The last thing he needed right now was his teachers or classmates thinking that he'd gone insane.

Ichigo glanced at his closet.

The door was still shut tightly, telling him that Rukia was still asleep. She usually left it open when she wasn't in there, just so he'd know.

He wondered what to do about her.

She'll notice. Probably the instant he takes over she'll notice.

He didn't want her to know. He didn't want anyone to know.

Despite the hollow easing some of his fears, he still had quite a few. He didn't want to be hunted like a hollow. He didn't want Soul Society to revoke his license and he for sure as hell didn't the 12th division anywhere near him.

After all from what he gathered he was one of a kind. That creepy clown captain would no doubt want to…do things.

Ichigo shuddered.

No thank you.

No one could know. He had to keep it a secret. He just wished…well he just wished the hollow agreed with him. The hollow didn't care if anyone found out.

Ichigo could tell the hollow thought it could fight its way out of anything.

"GOOD MORINING ICHIGO!"

Ichigo yelped standing back just as his father flew through the window.

That was close.

He thought with a sigh. One would think he'd be used to this by now. Still his old man somehow managed to surprise him every time.

Isskin withered on the floor a moment before jumping up.

"AH My son. A wondrous counter attack!"

Ichigo's eyebrow twitched.

"Can you knock it off for one day!"

"AH son! Don't be like that, Daddy has to make sure you grow up big and STRONG!"

Whirling in a circle Isskin put a hand over his heart.

"How else am I going to face my beloved! She would surely be disappointed if I didn't make sure you grew up right!!"

Ichigo punched him upside the head.

"Get out of my room!"

Hehehe

There was laughter in his head. Ichigo's eyes widened as he rubbed his forehead.

Get out of my head asshole.

Ichigo could almost see the hollow looking mock offended.

But this is where I LIVE. If I got out of your head then I'd be in your body.

Just…shut the fuck up. This is my time!

The hollow shrugged and Ichigo felt him retreat deeper into Ichigo's mind.

That was weird. I didn't know he could see what was going on. Hell I didn't know he could talk to me without me being in my inside world.

"Are you alright Ichigo?"

Ichigo blinked looking up surprised at his for once serious looking father. The man was looking at him strangely. In a way Ichigo had never seen him before. He looked so serious.

Then as suddenly as it came the expression left.

"OF COURSE YOU"RE OK!"

He shouted thumping Ichigo on the back hard.

"Now come down for breakfast. I refuse for another scene like last night to happen."

"The only scene was you, you moron!"

Ichigo growled out.

With that Ichigo pushed his father out of his room.

"God."

He muttered as he leaned against the door.

His family was weird.

The sound of a closet door sliding open, broke Ichigo out of his thoughts.

Rukia nimbly jumped out. She was wearing her usual dress. (stolen from Yuzu dress)

Ichigo wondered for a moment if that was all she had. He'd never really seen her in anything but stolen pajama, dress and school clothes.

"Good morning. Ichigo."

Rukia said raising a hand to him. Ichigo blinked.

"Good morning."

Why was she acting like nothing had happened last night. That was defiantly not like Rukia. Ichigo opened his mouth, then closed it.

Wasn't this what he wanted? He didn't want to tell Rukia anything. So the less questions the better.

Still it didn't sit right with him.

"I'm heading out."

Rukia said her voice usually bland.

"What? Where?"

Rukia stiffened her back.

"I thought we weren't asking questions today?"

Her tone became was so cold Ichigo actually shivered. Hell if it was any colder he'd be seeing his breath when he breathed.

"Er?"

Rukai cut him off.

"If you don't have to answer my questions, I guess I don't need to answer yours. Good morning and GOOD DAY!"

With that Rukia jumped out of the window.

"Er…"

Ichigo scratched the side of his head. That was kind of awkward. He didn't think he'd ever seen her so mad. She hide it well, in fact until she spoke he thought she was…well acting weird but otherwise fine.

I wish I could tell you Rukia.

Sighing to himself he quickly got dressed. First breakfast…then maybe he'd head over to Urahara's to train or something. Hell maybe he'd go hunt some hollows. It would relieve some of his stress that was for sure.

"YOU BASTARD! What did you do to Rukia!"

Ichigo jumped as Kon came flying from under his bed to try and attack his head. He easily caught the annoying toy.

"Kon? Why were you under my bed?"

The toy looked nervous for a second.

"You're sisters. Karin threatened to tear out my stuffing."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. Kon wiggled violently, his arms and legs swinging wildly.

"You made Nee-san mad! You bastard, you better apologize to her."

"There is nothing to apologize about."

"You're being mean to Nee-san!"

"No I'm not!"

Kon crossed his arms, snubbing his nose at Ichigo.

"If it was me. I'd take Nee-san into my arms. Snuggle close to her tiny chest and apologize until I fell asleep."

Ichigo lifted Kon so that they were face to face. Kon still snubbing Ichigo didn't open his eyes until the orange haired youth spoke.

"Touch her and promises or no, I will eat you."

Kon blinked, then looked at Ichigo.

"AHHH!"

He said startled. Ichigo was looking at him really scary like. And his eyes…they seemed to be burning.

"Ichigo?"

He said shaking, he didn't know why but suddenly he was very very scared.

"I think I'll take this for now."
Ichigo smiled as he reached with his free hand and ripped out Kon's pill.

"hehehehe."

Dropping the lion he tossed the pill into the air a few times. Then kind of curious he sniffed it.

"Smells weird."

He said. It didn't smell like a normal soul, although he knew it was about the same. He was almost tempted to chew on the small pill, just a little taste to see if was the same as the other man. Shaking his head he decided against it.

If the king was pissed about the random man, then he'd be livid over hurting Kon.

Looking around the room he placed the tiny pill in Ichigo's bedside dresser.

"Rukia?"

He said looking out the window. He frowned.

The King was being stupid. He had such a beautiful girl in his room and look what he did. He just pissed her off. That was no fun.

Tapping his chin he wondered how to take care of this. Obviously the King couldn't do it. He couldn't trust the King to do anything right.

But what could he do? He'd already given her a gift. A rather nice one if he did say so himself.

Suddenly it hit him.

"AH HA!"

He knew exactly what to do. Might not be as fun as ripping those hollows to shreds, but it would get her attention. Might even make her stop being angry at them.

"Damn king, why do I have to do everything myself."

00000000

Renji liked to think he was an observant guy. He was a fighter after all. One had to constantly notice little things during a fight to avoid getting eaten. It was the way things were.

Thus being so observant it didn't take more than a glance to know that Rukia was pissed enough to kill. The very air around her seemed to drop in temperature. Making little goose bumps rise on his Gigia's arm.

What the hell did that orange haired bastard do this time.

Was his first thought. After all it seemed that Ichigo had this talent to piss off anyone close to him. It didn't even cross his mind that it could be something else.

Well ok one other thought did enter his mind, but he'd been friends with Rukia since they were children, and he'd NEVER seen her PMS like this. So he doubted it was that.

So he waited until she walked up to him. She didn't even acknowledge him. Choosing rather to curse under her breath most unlady like.

Renji coughed into his hand to keep from chuckling.

Noble or no, Rukia defiantly had a colorful vocabulary. So without a word he fell into step beside her. When she still didn't show any signs of wanting to talk to him he focused instead on brushing imaginary dust off his clothes.

They were different than the ones he had first come in. Sandal hat had helped him find um. Apparently the ones supplied to him by soul society had been sorely outdated. Not that Renji cared. He'd get stares not matter what he wore thanks to his tattoo's. hell he had some mothers try to shield their kids from him. He didn't care about that stuff. If people thought bad about his because of how he dressed or his body art…well that was there problem not his.

Well anyway these new clothes were a lot more comfortable. So he didn't mind the wardrobe change. A pair of jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. On his head he wore a bandana to help hide his more notable tattoo's. he was rather glad to be ride of that bucket hat and guitar.

"Soooo."

He finally said, feeling that Rukia was done running Ichigo's name through the gutter with every word she could think off.

"Selfish son of a bitch!"

Okkk maybe she was still going through the list.

"Rukia?"

Rukia blinked, for the first time noticing Renji.

"Oh. Hi Renji."

"Dare I ask?"

He asked crossing his arms in a laid back manner.

"Ichigo is sooo Stubborn!"

And you ain't?

Of course he only thought this, no way in hell would he say it. That would be asking for death. He could almost see the human papers. Giant red haired tattooed man. Disemboweled by tiny short woman. Bet everyone would get a kick out of that.

"So what's going on with him anyway? I'm assuming he's why you talked to Urahara right?"

"Ya."

Rukia sighed…her shoulders slumping as she gave up on her anger. He eyes lowered looking at the ground.

"I'm worried about him. Something weird is happening. And he won't tell me."

Renji chewed his bottom lip.

"Well, he is young. Maybe he's going through puberty or something. What is he like 15 or something?"

Renji shook his head in disbelief. Someone…pretty much still a baby by their standards having so much power. It grated against him a little. But he wasn't one to hold grudges or prejudiced against someone for their age.

Was he was a kid? Yes. Was he was insanely powerful? Yes again. But in the end he was still Ichigo.

The guy who had literally broken down heavens gates to save Rukia.

Rukia rolled her eyes at Renji.

"That's not it. Its something else…yesterday…"

Rukia trailed off. Looking disturbed. She stopped walking. Renji frowned harshly as he waited for her to say something.

"He did some things…yesterday. But I don't think he remembers doing them. He kept saying he didn't do it. But I know he did."

Renji blinked.

"What the hell did he do?"

Rukia shook her head.

"I…I don't think I can tell you."

"Why the hell not Rukia!?"

Rukia sighed, then ran a hand through her hair. She turned so she was looking at her old friend. He was looking at her angrily hands on his hips and a frown on his face.

"You're to demanding Renji."

Rukia lifted a hand to stop an outburst.

"Don't deny it. You would run to Ichigo this second and demand what was going on. If need be you would beat it out of him."

Well ok, Renji couldn't deny that. After all that was what he was thinking of doing.

"I don't know why. But I feel we have to be careful."

Rukia crossed her arms looking worried and thoughtful. A flicker of some other kind of emotion flashed through her eyes. It was only there a moment but it had Renji blinking in confusion.

"I want him to tell me. Not because he has to but because he wants to."

Renji looked away. So it was like that was it.

He wasn't sure what to feel right now. He was angry at Ichigo for worrying Rukia. He was angry at her for not letting him interrogate him. But on top of that he felt a surprising stab of bitterness.

He wasn't really sure where that came from, but he accepted it anyway.

"Ya well…just be careful."

He finally muttered out, looking away.

Rukia nodded.

"I will."

Rukia paused, then looked over her shoulder.

"I should probably get back. Urahara wants me to keep an eye on Ichigo."

Renji blinked his mind doing a double take over that sentence.

"Something really is going on."

He breathed out. If Urahara was worried then it was something bad.

"Urahara was acting weird last night. Maybe I should go with you."

He said, suddenly worried for Rukia. Not that he thought Ichigo would hurt her. But he didn't want to risk it. After all she said Ichigo didn't remember doing what he had done. What if he was having blackouts or something. Blackouts where he did things he didn't remember doing. He might not mean to hurt her, but Rukia was so tiny compared to him, in size and power.

"No, you being there will just make him clam up."

Rukai placed a tiny hand on her friends arm.

"Don't worry about me. Renji. I…we all have been through worse."

She smiled at him. Not a happy smile, but one that held a lifetime of memories between them. They were friends, close friends, damn near family.

Family.

Renji closed his eyes…that strange bitterness suddenly leaving him so quickly it took his breath away. Ya Rukia was family to him. Almost like a sister. He'd never really thought of it that way before. She was always a comrade to him. They had shared so much together at such an early age. At some point in their long history they had gone beyond simple friends, beyond possibility of lovers and had became family.

For the first time he realized what the bitterness was…a boyhood crush.

He had been fuckin jealous.

When he thought about it. He'd known for years, known that they were family and that nothing would happen between them. He'd just been to damn stubborn.

"alright."

He said resigned. Resigned to what Rukia wanted and also to his own feelings.

"Thanks Renji."

Ichigo…

Renji thought as he watched Rukia turn and jog home.

You had better not hurt her. Or I'll fucking take that oversized sword of yours and give Zangetsu and sight seeing trip up somewhere he probably don't wanna go.