Chapter twenty: Inevitable

His tone was unemotional and I exhaled deeply as bile rose up in my throat. Somehow, I was able to swallow it and bear it. Granted, I would have preferred to fall to the ground crying, but I wasn't going to do that. Sherlock and I had been forced to marry, while I had affections for him, I wasn't going to hold myself to him when he didn't have any feelings for me.

Who was I fooling? He had no feelings for me. He'd stated it multiple times. Maybe he'd known that I'd fall in love with him and he'd given me dozens of subtle hints as warnings to me. To guard my heart and my head. Yes, that made sense.

I couldn't find the words at first, but when I did find them, I said the words I didn't want to say. "I'd been expecting you to tell me that for some time."

"The case is over." He stated, as I pulled free from his grip. "No need to stay married, is there?"

I turned and headed back to the theatre. "Agreed. Now, let's finish the evening out and try to bear each other's company."

"You're not upset?" he sounded very surprised to my reaction.

"Of course I'm not upset!" I lied. "Why would I be upset?"

Sherlock was silent before saying. "No reason."

The play was comical, but we didn't stay long afterwards. When Elise's lover had gotten a note from someone requesting to meet him outside, Sherlock, in his suspiciousness unable to be sated, followed them. Both men returned later in the theatre looking very disheveled. Sherlock looked at the man with a rather nervous air, which was unusual. Nobody made Sherlock Holmes nervous.

Sherlock revealed to me in the carriage that the man was going to be abducted by Elise's manager and he'd prevented it. The man, Richard Collier, was an unusual man. He deduced multiple things about Sherlock and had laughed about what an honor it was for him to have been rescued by Sherlock Holmes. The ride home, once Sherlock had explained his minor case, had once again dissolved into silence. My heart ached. I longed for his voice and longed for his arms, but I daren't speak these thoughts.

We went upstairs to our room. I shook my head and corrected myself. His room. I went and collected my items, preparing to relocate myself to the guest room when Sherlock frowned at me. "What are you doing?"

I looked at him in surprise. "I'm relocating to the guest room."

He shook his head. "That's not necessary."

"From where I'm standing, it is." I stated in a far calmer tone that I had felt myself to be capable of. "We shouldn't have slept together last night and considering what is about to take place tomorrow morning, we shouldn't be in the same room tonight."

Sherlock exhaled, he looked as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. "I mean…I've got some work to do." Why was I not surprised? "I'm going to be working in my lab for a while. You can stay here and I'll sleep in the guest room."

I nodded my head in thanks. "I appreciate it."

Sherlock nodded and turned to stalk out of the room. He closed the door abruptly behind him. I sat down at the table and began removing my hairpins. Only once I heard him descend the steps, did I grab my pillow from the bed and begin to cry into it.

The following morning,

Sherlock and I hadn't spoken five words to each other as we drove towards the shabby little office. Well, it was a nice building, but it looked shabby to me. I hadn't eaten breakfast and I could tell from Sherlock's expression, he hadn't eaten anything either. My heart pounded in my chest, I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. I had to have some pride left. Sherlock was a scornful man at times and I couldn't say to him that I loved him, especially when he'd stated so many times that he was incapable of emotions.

We sat in a small, still office while Sherlock talked to his solicitor, Mr. Moran. I was glad he was a in a talkative mood, he did all the explaining while I simply answered yes or no. then, Mr. Moran slid the papers of my annulment towards me. My hands trembled violently as I looked at the papers. My vision began to blur as tears filled my eyes. My throat ached with tears that desperately wanted to flow over.

"Ma'am," Mr. Moran said firmly. "you need to sign that paper."

I inhaled and croaked out as I stood up. "I'm sorry." I placed the paper down at the table and took the pen that Moran handed me.

It was then that Sherlock's hand closed over mine. "Do you want to sign?" His tone so gentle that my breaking heart shattered into a million pieces. "And if so, tell me why?"

"You," I gasped out. "don't love me." The words were like a knife to my heart. Tears began to spill down the cheeks as I almost admitted my feelings. "And I-I…. I want to…be loved."

Sherlock suddenly pulled me against his chest, his fingers winding themselves in my hair. I look up at him, stunned by the sudden, dark passionate look in his eyes. "Then," he asked me, his voice deep and hoarse. "what do you call this?"

I never got to answer him. I suddenly felt Sherlock's lips upon mine and I almost crumbled to the ground then and there. This was the first time Sherlock had actually kissed me of his own free will. I inhaled deeply as my legs buckled. Sherlock locked his hands around my waist, his hands gripping onto my hips, stabilizing me before running his hands up to my shoulders. I'd locked my arms about his neck, though now, the grip was significantly loosened as his mouth continued to explore mine.

Each kiss grew more and more frantic, as if we were trying to replace all those kisses we'd denied ourselves since the day we married. My gasps began to turn into little whimpers then cries as I surrendered to this feeling. Sherlock kept pulling me closer, as if he could make our bodies become one if he willed it.

Moran's voice caused us to slowly come back to the ground. "Mr. Holmes! This is most unethical and completely inappropriate!"

After a moment, he broke the kiss and pulled away from me. His chest was heaving rapidly and his hair hung about his face. He let out a few confused sounding stutters before pulling me up into his arms, as if I were once again a bride. "I'm taking you home." Those four words caused my heart to stop in my chest. "Do you want me?" I let out a strangled gasp of surprise as I stared at Sherlock in amazement. "Because I want you." I could only nod anxiously. Sherlock's face broke into a smile and he kissed me again.

"Mr. Holmes!" Moran shouted. "What about the papers?"

"Oh for God's sake, if you haven't figured it out by now, burn them you idiot!" Sherlock snapped. "Or, save it for a couple who don't want to be together. We do!"

Want. Mrs. Holmes was right; it was a wonderful word, to be wanted. All eyes watched us as Sherlock practically ran out of the office with me in his arms. Mr. Moran was still shouting at us about his fee and lots of other useless nonsense. Our carriage was still waiting outside for us and Sherlock shouted at the driver to get us home immediately.

My blood pounded in my veins as Sherlock drew the blinds, allowing us some privacy. I knew what was coming the moment we got home and my entire being trembled with anticipation. The moment the final curtain was drawn, Sherlock grabbed me around my waist and tugged me into his lap. I let out a groan as Sherlock pulled my hatpin from my head, throwing it and my hat aside.

"How long?" He demanded. "How long, have you been wanting me?"

I thought I'd die if I admitted it; the words left my lips slowly. "Years."

"The exact moment!" He demanded. His tone, though harsh, was actually turning me on. "What day? What moment?"

I trembled as I admitted. "The night…you apologized to me, after…Moriarty kissed me."

"Don't say his name!" He snapped angrily before kissing me. I wasn't sure where to put my hands, so I grabbed onto his shoulders. His hands gripped my skirts, pulling them up to my knees so I could sink lower onto his lap without my skirts restricting me. I shuddered and pulled away from him slightly at the contact between us. "Why," he demanded through his teeth. "didn't you tell me?"

"Me? You're the man!" I glowered at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I never noticed you having any issues talking!"

I threw my hands in the air. "I can't believe we're going to argue about this at a time like this, but as it's what we do best, I'm going to argue with you." I almost fell backwards as the carriage went over a pothole, but Sherlock's firm grip kept me upright. "I'm not the one with commitment issues! You've stated to me dozens of times how emotions, wives, family and children were not in your line of work!"

"I would have told you!" He gripped me tightly from behind my knees and I cried out. "You gave me no signs of encouragement. Why?"

"I was scared." I let out a groan. "If you'd asked me to tell you how I felt, I would have told you everything immediately."

"I know you were scared and I didn't want to frighten you off." His eyes held my gaze. "I wouldn't hurt you."

I bit my lip. "I know that and I trust you." I inhaled deeply before confessing. "The way….you make me feel…scares me."

He exhaled and leaned forward to kiss me again. "Believe me, I know." I trembled as he leaned forward and began kissing me. I shuddered violently as his lips traveled down to my neck. "God, you provoked that attack when you came down in the red and black dress." He demanded as he suddenly flipped me onto my back, pressing himself on top of me as he gripped my wrists. "Do you have any idea what you did to me that night?" I could only shake my head. I was frightened, but it was a delicious, passionate fright. I knew he'd never hurt me. He'd kept me safe, for himself and I was going to be his. "And you were also right. No, I don't approve of emotions, love, family, having a wife or children."

I stared up at him in amazement. "Then why are we-

"Because, I only want those things with you, no one else." The moment his lips descended on mine…the carriage stopped. I moaned as he pulled away from me. He exhaled and helped me right my clothes before stepping out of the carriage. He turned and held out his hand to me. "Come." I reached for his hand, his eyes boring into mine as I took it. his grip was firm as he helped me down out of the carriage. He made sure I stepped close to him so he could whisper. "There's no more avoiding the inevitable between us."

Lady Gisbourne 15: So did I originally think it would go differently, but if they had, then we wouldn't have had this chapter. I think things took off rather well though. Now, everyone's on pins and needles for the next chapter.