I feel I should warn you all: character death.
Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica belongs to Ronald D. Moore and the Sci-Fi channel. Memories are in italics with brackets. Song lyrics are in italics. "Falling Slowly," is by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova, from Eclaire's montage.
Part 2: Letting Go
He stared out at the viewscreen and the blue-white planet that greeted them. Everyone around him in CIC cheered, but their excitement was only background noise to him. He should have been happy to, but how could he be happy when she was not there to share it with him? Instead he looked down at his hands, specifically at his wedding ring. He recalled something his grandmother had done at the death of his grandfather. To show mourning, she switched her wedding ring from her right hand to her left.
I don't know you
Adama moved his wedding ring, not caring if anyone noticed. The press can't hurt her anymore, he rationalized. The small gesture was caught by only one man, a man who understood all too well his friend's silent pain. The admiral took one last look at the planet before saying, "It's yours, Saul," and leaving CIC.
But I want you
All the more for that
/"Mary me," Bill had said to her. Laura smiled magnificently, her eyes glistening with unshed tears./
/"Do you know what you're asking?" she had challenged him./
/He held out his hand for her as they sat on his couch. She raised an eyebrow, but accepted the gesture, putting her hand in his. Then he spoke. "I love you. I don't want you go through this alone. I'm thru wasting time."/
/Tears of pain and joy ran down her cheeks. "Then so am I," she whispered. "Yes, I will marry you."/
/Their wedding had been a small ceremony with only close friends and a very discreet priest. Their honeymoon was a present from Lee, two inconspicuous days aboard the Rising Star where Bill and Laura could relax./
Words fall through me
He reached his quarters and opened the hatch with a heavy sigh. Slowly he entered and closed the door. The silence that greeted him was still unsettling. A month was not nearly enough time to assuage something like that. He sat at his desk and removed his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He scooted back slightly, pulling back his bottom desk drawer to remove a scrap book. He flipped past his wedding picture with Laura to a lock of her hair that he had placed in the book.
And always fool me
/"I still don't see why you want a piece of my hair," she told him from where she had curled up on the couch in what she referred to fondly as 'their quarters.'/
/"It's one of my favorite things about you, so I thought we should put a small piece in the book," he rationalized./
/"But it's something teenagers do," she pointed out./
/He sat next to her and cupped her face with one hand. "Then be young with me for a while," he remarked, kissing her soundly./
/She giggled and found herself sitting in his lap. "Oh alright, if it will please your sentimental, boyish side," she teased. Then she flashed a sultry smile his way, toying with the buttons of his uniform top. "If you want to continue with these boyish antics of yours, then I suggest you lock the door and leave the phone off the hook tonight."/
And I can't react
That evening had been before things had gone from manageable to bad. He lifted the report from his desk that Dee had given him on the planet. Everyone was scheduled to take shore leave. It was an interesting planet with several different environments. The only one that interested Bill was an area in the mountains on the west end of America. A knock at the door brought him out of his reverie.
And games that never amount
Tigh stood at his door and Bill knew that his friend was not going away any time soon. "Come in," he stated.
To more than they're meant
The colonel entered and closed the door behind him. "Haven't seen anyone do that with their wedding ring in a long time," he began.
Will play themselves out
"Press can't hurt her anymore, and I never gave a damn what they say about me," Adama responded.
Tigh considered his next words carefully. Then he faced Adama, who had reseated himself at his desk. "Is there anything I can do?"
Take this sinking boat and point it home
Adama took a deep breath and shook his head. Cylon or not, the man in front of him was still his best friend. He licked his dry lips, attempting to formulate his next question. "How the hell did you manage without Ellen?"
We've still got time
Tigh glanced at the floor and then back to the other man. "Badly, but you know that. I lost myself in the bottle. Couldn't smell her anymore. Then I realized it wasn't what she would've wanted for me. She would've wanted me to grieve for a while, yes, but then she would've wanted me to find a new life for myself."
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
"I don't know what to do," Adama admitted.
You've made it now
"Who does? I will say this though, Laura was a hell of a woman and you're not the only one who's missed her. I hear Cottle was a bear in Life Station for days. I never got along with her that well until New Caprica, but I've respected her," Tigh mentioned. He studied Adama, noticing the shoulders sag. "Damn, who am I kidding? I miss her too."
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
Adama smirked at his friend. "We're a pretty poor excuse for the remainder of our civilization, aren't we? We finally reach our destination, and neither of us really wants to celebrate."
"You're lucky you can take shore leave. Because of what I am, the closest I can get is Mars. I hear Lee and Dee already have a place picked out where they'll be settling," Tigh commented.
And I can't go back
"It's called Flagstaff. I was planning on taking my leave there and checking the place out. It's supposed to have mountains and pine trees," Adama remarked.
A few days later, the admiral had his bag packed and sat in a Raptor, heading toward Earth. He glanced out of his window and smiled at the dozens of other ships he saw. Their people were now safe.
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
/Bill was sitting at Laura's bedside as she slept fitfully. Her eyes suddenly snapped open and she smiled at him. "What are you doing here? Don't you have a Battlestar to run?" she teased him./
/He moved onto the bed to sit with her. She sat up and he held her in a comforting embrace. "Right now I want to spend time with my wife."/
You have suffered enough
/She looked up at him. "How close are we to Earth?"/
And warred with yourself
/"A few more jumps," he told her with a grin. "Humanity has your tenacity to thank for it. You have to hang in there for humanity."/
/When she sighed, there was a rattling sound in her chest. "Bill, humanity has not been what's kept me going; you are." Before he could answer, she grabbed his uniform and pulled him down to kiss him passionately./
It's time that you won
The Raptor landed at the airport and Adama walked outside, bag in hand, to look for his son and daughter-in-law. The warm wind stirred his hair and he squinted in the bright light of the midday sun. He smiled at the hills as he inhaled the pine tree scent. This would have been a nice place to build our cabin, he thought to himself.
/The pain medication had not helped her coughing. Bill held her, as if he could somehow lessen the shaking her body endured. When her breathing returned to a stable place, she looked over at him, tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry that we won't be building that cabin."/
Take this sinking boat and point it home
/He kissed her forehead. "Don't be. It doesn't matter anyway. My home is wherever you are."/
We've still got time
/ "I'm sorry about leaving you like this. I never wanted things this way. I love you, and I know this is hurting you," she relayed./
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
/Holding her close, he spoke softly. "Love is not about the good times, but also the bad. I love you, Laura, more than you can ever know. I'm willing to go through this for you because of that."/
You've made it now
/ "I'm scared," she whispered./
/"I'm not going anywhere," he responded./
He sat down on a bench, wishing that she was there with him. "I think you would've liked Earth, Laura," he said to the air as a warm breeze blew by him and seemed to linger.
Take this sinking boat and point it home
"You're probably right," a part of him could hear her saying.
We've still got time
Abruptly he looked around, almost expecting to see her. "Laura?"
"Yes," her voice whispered.
"Are you really here, or am I imagining this?" he asked, worried for a moment that she might be stuck as a ghost forever, though he did not really believe in ghosts.
"No, it's me, but I can't stay. I am with you now because there are a few things we need to discuss," she told him.
"I think this would be a good place for a cabin," he stated, smiling at how presidential she sounded.
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
"I quite agree. I know you miss me, but you need to promise that you won't spend the rest of your life mourning me," she insisted.
You've made it now
"How should I do that?" he questioned.
"You have to let go, Bill. You have to let go for your children and your grandchildren," she expressed.
Falling slowly sing your melody
His pain was still raw as he tried to comprehend moving on. "I can't," he choked.
"Yes, you can. Part of me will always be with you," she whispered as her presence left.
I'll sing along
He took a deep breath, trying to organize his emotions. As he stood, he heard his son's voice over his shoulder. "Dad, we've been looking for you."
"It's good to see you," he said as he and Lee hugged.
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
"What were you doing all the way out here?" Lee inquired as he and Adama walked toward the solar-powered car.
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Adama gave him a small smile that for an odd second reminded the younger man of Roslin. "Letting go."
(My thanks to max72, LavenderKate, Mariel3, Ethereal-Journey, miss mcGonagle, Sammy-Girl001, and Tchi for reviewing :D)