"I don't know where to start!" She stated nervously as she shivered looking at her feet. He wasn't going to make it easy for her. She had told him in her own way to let her move on and basically get out of her life. It had been hard to hear and accept her words but he did as she had asked. He stood looking at her completely mute.

"I suppose I should start with I'm so sorry." She tried to make eye contact with him. She noticed how withdrawn and unwell he looked and she hated knowing she was the cause. Her telling him she was marrying someone else had clearly made a detrimental impact on her Deacon. Her eyes began to fill up with unshed tears. Her voice began to quiver as she continued...

"I'm sorry for hurting you and pushing you away. I'm sorry I gave them our relationship for the article. You don't realise how much your words have tormented me?" He looked at her unapologetically. "I gave them us. You were right not to recognise me cause I didn't recognise myself. I needed to hear it from you to realise it and that hurt." She admitted as a tear slowly ran down her cheek. He started to soften as she explained herself. Seeing her on his doorstep looking so small and insecure, he could feel the tears begin to prick at his own eyes. "The way I treated you was terrible and not being able to speak to you the last few weeks has been torture...it really shook up me cause it's the only thing I've wanted to do. But..I've done a lot of thinking and I've realised that my marriage with Teddy only worked because I still had you in my life. I turn to you for everything, every decision, every problem. You were there." Her tears ran freely down her face and she bit her lip to stop it from quivering as she shivered with a mixture of the cold and nerves. "My relationship with Luke worked because after the accident it was easier to push you away with Luke there between us. I was so mad at you but I still had you. It was easy with him because he couldn't hurt me. I wasn't in love with him. The only man that can do that is standing here looking at me with disappointment in his eyes and that kills me Deacon. I know that your silently asking questions that I know I need to answer for you and I don't want to lie anymore. I have loved you my entire life. When you were gone it hit me so hard. I can't function without you I'm obsessed with you to the point it's not healthy. I don't need anyone else I just need you and the girl's. I've always just needed you and I know you need me too because we love each other. We're in love with each other...I love you so much." She finished quoting his own words back at him, trying to gauge his reaction through blurry eyes. Her tears streamed down her face. "I'm sorry I pushed you away and made you think I didn't want you...cause the truth is I'm scared I've messed up what we had to the point you can't forgive me." He swallowed hard he knew what he wanted. She was standing in front of him declaring she was all his, if he wanted her. She was afraid that he couldn't forgive her. He stepped forward as he reached out for her hand. They grasped onto one another as he smoothed his thumb back and forth across her skin she needed his reassurance. His eyes burned into her soul. She let a sob escape her mouth as she felt that familiar Deacon feeling as she called it run through her. She felt tingly all over. He pulled her into him embracing and comforting her. She gripped onto him like she would never let go. Their emotions erupted as they clung to one another both freely sobbing. After a few minutes he led her inside. He offered her a drink it was the first thing he had said to her she realised? She shook her head in answer as she sat down on the couch. She suddenly felt uneasy again as he hadn't kissed her yet and that wasn't like him. It let her know she wasn't forgiven completely yet.

"Please let's talk? I want to try and sort things out with you, if you'll let me?" She asked not knowing what else to say. He stopped for just a second before he launched into the core of all their issues.

"You've made me feel so worthless Ray. Like I don't deserve you..so your kinda blowing my mind right now. I don't know what to say? You told me outside two weeks ago that you didn't love me, that you loved him and you were getting married and to stay the hell away? You made me out to be some love sick fool that was besotted with you...and you were over me. Now your saying all this and you've called off the wedding? I don't know what to...make of it?" The sadness in his voice made her want to scream she loved him from the rooftops. She couldn't bare the thought of Deacon believing she didn't love him. Their eyes met as she looked up both had tears in their eyes. She made her way over to him.

"Don't ever say that cause I've never told you I didn't love you." She uttered quietly shaking her head in disbelief. "You know that's not true babe. You know me better than anyone." She told him trying to reassure him stroking his arm softly. He pulled away and turned his back on her.

"But that's the way it feels Ray. I'm never going to be good enough. And you're right I'm not. There is no one out there that even comes close to the way I feel about you. I'm never going to stop wanting you Ray. I will never love anyone the way I love you." He finished as she approached him. "Maybe we should just let it go. We do well as friends, don't we?" He asked. "I think you should just go Ray. I appreciate you coming over and saying all this but maybe we just need some time to.." She ran her hand down his back. "Look at me." She asked as he turned to face her. She had to admit she loved hearing him tell her how much he loves her. Her heart gave a pang when she heard him say it. When Luke told her he loved her he could be rhyming off a shopping list for the impact it had on her. She could see how unhappy Deacon was and knew it was solely her fault. She reached out instinctively and wiped away the tears that rolled down his face. "You're my boy and I do love you Deacon..I love you so much. We will always be more than friends we can go on pretending but we always come back to the same place. We want to be together, don't we?" He could of melted then hearing her call him her boy again and he swallowed hard trying to gain his composure. He tried to avoid looking at her as he moved away from her beginning to pace the floor behind her thinking, trying to process it all. She stood still as her arms fell by her side, trying to give him a minute when all she wanted to do was grab hold of him tell him how sorry she was and not let go. But she knew him and hopefully giving him a minute he would come to her. He uttered. "You, Maddie and Daphne are my happiness." He confessed as he approached her from behind. His hand stroked through the length of her hair softly. Her heart skipped a little with his last confession and gesture and just knowing he was close behind her. She could hear in his voice the complete truth in his words. He boldly pulled her into him wrapping one arm across her chest and the other snaking round her waist holding her tightly. He held her close smelling her hair and burying his face into her neck like it was the last time he was going to hold her. Their familiarity took over as she melted into him she turned in his embrace and ran her hands over his back and into his hair. She held onto him like her life depended on it. She was consumed by him every thought and feeling running through her was for him and him alone in this moment.

"I'm so sorry Deacon. But please don't push me away?" She begged as she sobbed into his chest.

"I know I deserve it, but don't, please." He didn't answer her but he held her so tightly that she knew he wouldn't.

"Are you scared?" She asked more to herself than to him.

"What of?" He whispered into her hair.

"Of this? Us?"

"Terrified." Although he knew his prognosis having Rayna back in his arms gave him everything to fight for.

"I know. I'm just scared that after all this time it might not work...I just..." Her voice cracking with upset. "I love you so much Deacon. Your the only one that can hurt me cause you mean everything to me."

"Say it again."

"Say what?" She spluttered as the tears began to subside.

"The last bit." He asked as he tucked her hair behind her ear.

"You mean everything to me." She repeated lovingly as their eyes locked and she rested her forehead against his. Her face blotchy now from crying but she still looked beautiful. She had that glazed look that he knew so well. He took his chance, he needed to be close to her. He brushed his lips against hers softly. She surprised him as she immediately pulled his face towards her own and kissed him back harder letting a moan escape her throat. Their tongues clashed duelling passionately. Their hands roamed freely relishing being together. She didn't want to move in any direction in case he stopped and told her it was a mistake. But she needed him and she started to pull him back towards the couch. He dutifully followed as he couldn't bare to pull away from her. As her legs touched the couch she lay back encouraging Deacon to stay close to her as he lay on top of her. She wrapped her arms around him one hand running through his hair soothing the pain she had created in him with loosing her. Their kisses were hungry and neither wanted to stop. He was trying to be a gentlemen but it was so hard being in this situation with Rayna she was so beautiful. He tried to break away from her kiss. She felt him pull away and captured his lips again trying to deepen the kiss with her tongue holding his face. He allowed her to kiss him then his conscience kicked in again. "No Ray, I can't do this." He pulled her arms away from him and walked across the room away from her.

"Deacon?" She questioned but he didn't respond.

"You need to go Rayna." He told her with his back to her. She could feel the tears starting as she got up off the couch.

"You told me you loved me. I'm telling you that I love you. Why are you telling me to go? I want to stay here with you." He rolled his eyes at her protest as he ran his hands through his hair. He needed her to go because he had other issues that he couldn't and wouldn't allow her to know about.

"Didn't see you telling me you loved me and begging me not to go two weeks ago Ray when you wanted nothing to do with me?" He scolded her harshly. She was taken aback by him then.

"Ok I deserve that." She admitted "But why can't you look at me and tell me to leave?" He was hiding something. Something else was going on here, she could feel it.

"You know why. Please I just need time to.."

"Deacon please speak to me. What are you hiding?" She challenged him.

"I don't owe you an explanation I'm not your anything Ray. I'm not your boy." She couldn't take it, was she losing him right now? She closed the gap between them as she threw her arms around his middle from behind.

"No Deacon. I won't let you do this. This is our chance babe. Please? You can tell me everything or nothing at all, I just want to be with you." He closed his eyes as he felt her sob against him.