Hey guys, I'm sorry, you know the rest. If it's any consolation, this chapter is like 2,460 words longer than what I usually post, so I hope that makes it maybe a little worth the wait. Thank you so much for the STILL continuing support from all of you, I love you all too much. The reviews, the favorites, the follows, I've even made a new friend. You guys are just great. Now, don't hate me. Enjoy :)
Naomi
Yesterday couldn't have been more successful. The progress I made with Emily hasn't only improved my job situation regarding Freddie, but I think she's starting to feel a little more comfortable around me as well. I'm lucky. I know I'm lucky. I don't know if I'd ever feel comfortable around anyone who breached my privacy the way I did to Emily; grant you, if you're me, someone knowing things you didn't tell them is a little more serious than if you're someone else. All the same, she's in the process of forgiving me- I hope –and that's more than I deserve.
I can't explain what happened two days ago at that little coffee place. Every thought that intruded, every feeling that overruled, I don't know what they were. None of those thoughts or emotions hit me yesterday, not a single butterfly or goosebump. It must have been nerves or excitement; nervous that she wouldn't give me a chance, and excited that she might. All I can tell you about yesterday is that Emily was lovely; introduced me to Cook, showed me her room, helped immensely with the assignment. She really is quiet extraordinary, Emily is. I don't mean an amazing kind of extraordinary, I mean, I do! But I just, that's not what I… Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, she's an unexpected sort of extraordinary.
She completely surprised me. Gone was the angry, defensive, fiery redhead from the alley; in her place was this quiet, interesting, soft brown-eyed girl. Little quirks and habits I don't think she knows she has, keep replaying in my head in the same scenarios that she demonstrated them in last night. When she frantically tried to hide that she felt guilty for snapping at me outside Hanks Restaurant; when she apologized for the twentieth time for not being able to drive me home; and how she zones out at random times, sometimes looking at the floor, sometimes at me. When she spaces out, it's not her actions or her words that betray her, it's her eyes; her expression. If I interrupt her when she's off in her own world like that, the look she gives me is always so intense and focused, but it's also sparkled with wonder and confusion; like she's seeing me again for the first time, only in different circumstances. The look only ever lasts a speed second, and it's the hardest speed second to try to catch.
She's funny too, and she smells ridiculously good, and she's modest, and she does this thing where she bites her lip just before she stops laughing. It was just like going to see any friend; only I have this nagging feeling like I'm staring at a pie, trying for the life of me to figure out what kind it is. There are so many possibilities, but why do I care? It's just pie. She's just Emily.
I have to go talk to Kieran about her again today. I told him yesterday that I'd befriended her and that we were going to hang out and plan a date with Freddie and Katie. He demanded I see him the next day. So here I am, at home, waiting for the coffee to brew while Effy sits in her favorite spot on the couch, reading a red book with brown pages. I wonder if Emily's read it.
"Morning Eff," I call over the counter.
"Morning. Don't you have a job thing today?" She asks, her eyes not daring to leave her book.
"Yeah, I'm gone as soon as the coffee's done." She hums in response. It takes another minute going by and fresh coffee in a to-go mug for me to mentally smack myself for being such a twat. I can't believe I didn't think of this before. "Hey Eff," I'm half way out the door when she looks up. "Emily and I are going to a club tonight to meet up with Katie and Frieddie. Do you want to come?"
She smiles a brief but genuine smile before answering with a shrug and a "Why not."
"Alright, see you later!" I rush out, closing the door behind me.
As I head up the stairs, to Kieran's office, I can't help but feel glad Effy's coming with us tonight. She hardly ever leaves the house, and I'm never around to do anything with her. I owe her some time.
"Morning Naoms," JJ says to me as I near the coffee table just outside Kieran's office. "Where've you been lately?"
"I've been doing my job J," I say groggily, setting my mug down on the small table and rubbing some sleep out of my eyes.
"Oh yes, of course. Speaking of which, how's your part going? I've been working on a couple different projects recently because, as you may know, right now the rest of us are on stand-by for this assignment. I did my part in tracking them down, now we're all just waiting to see how far you get." He takes a sip of his coffee, looking at me expectantly. I open my mouth to respond, but the sound of Kieran's door opening interrupts my answer.
"Ah, Campbell," he says with outstretched arms and a toothy grin.
"Hey boss," I smile back at him. "See you later J," I say behind me as I follow Kieran into his office. JJ gives me a dorky little wave and a shy smile before turning himself and heading back to his desk.
"So," Kieran says, taking a seat in the chair at the head of the table closest to us. "What have you got for me?"
I stay standing because really, I'm not going to be here for that long. "Emily called her sister yesterday while I was over at her place. We're going to meet her and Freddie at a club tonight."
"Perfect! I knew you'd be a good choice for this assignment Campbell. And Emily still doesn't know who you are?"
This lie is dangerous, and not just because the person I'm lying to is my boss. I know Kieran would never fire me unless he had to, but the point is, this lie is big enough to put my job at risk. Not that that'll stop me.
"Not a clue," I smile.
"Alright then, you're free, get out and don't let me down," seemingly satisfied with my answer, Kieran gestures towards the door behind him.
I exit his office with a sick feeling settling in the pit of my stomach. I've never lied to Kieran before. I don't like this, but I'm in too deep to fix it now.
Instead of leaving, I go to the second floor where JJ works. People underestimate JJ's ability to fix complicated situations just because he's a little socially awkward and has a tendency to ramble and stutter. If anyone can help me with this situation, it's him.
Approaching his desk, I don't hesitate. I lean over the side, my hands hitting the wood surface suddenly, causing JJ to jump. "I have to tell you something," I say maybe a bit too urgently if the concern and alarm on his face is anything to go by. Instead of asking me what was going on or even saying anything at all like I expected him to, he just stiffly nods once and stands to follow me outside.
The first thing I do as soon as we're through the old exit door is take out a smoke. I'm not sure if it's because it's a habit, or if it's because I desperately need one considering my stress level went from mild to freaking out over the last thirty seconds. I'm pretty sure JJ doesn't smoke but I feel rude not offering him one.
"Oh, no thank you," JJ says, putting up his hand politely as I hold the package out to him. He waits patiently while I shrug and light my own. He stays quiet while I take a long, much-needed first drag and hold it in until I start going light-headed. After a few more restless moments, JJ breaks the tension.
"What's going on, Naomi? I don't think I've ever seen you so… Nervous." He's looking at me with big eyes; the kind of big eyes that insist on helping even though they know you don't want it.
"I've done something J, and I'm having a hard time deciding just how bad it is."
"Try me," he says kindly.
"I lied to Kieran," I blurt out. JJ's eyes widen slightly, pushing me to continue before I lose the courage. "I pretended I didn't know who Emily was, when really I'd already met her- in very complicated circumstances might I add- then I went and told Emily who I was because there's no way this mission was going to work out if I didn't tell her, due to past… Instances between us. I didn't have a choice; it was either tell Emily who I was or tell Kieran we'd already met and ruin the assignment. So now I have to remember Kieran doesn't know that Emily knows that I work for the FBI every time I talk to him. Are you seeing my dilemma here?"
JJ opens and closes his mouth a few times before sighing heavily and leaning against the wall.
"Okay," he breathes out, pinching the bridge of his nose, "How do you know Emily?"
I don't answer right away because that question completely catches me off guard. JJ coughing once reminds me I still have to answer him, whether I want to or not.
"I may have fought a gang off her," I mumble, avoiding JJ's eyes. Some FBI agent I am, hey?
"What was that?" He asks.
I sigh heavily and meet his eyes, "I fought a gang off her."
"Why?" His voice is calm, in a way that makes me feel comfortable; he's not judging me.
"I don't know!" I yell towards the sky, throwing my arms in the air in defeat. "Because she looked helpless, because I was in the area, because it seemed like a good thing to do at the time, take your pick." I take another deep drag from my fag, toss it on the ground and step on it.
"You know we're not supposed to get involved, Naomi," He says softly. I don't think I've ever seen JJ so focussed before.
"What do you think I've been telling myself, J? If you can tell me why I did it then please do. It just felt like the right thing to do, that's really the only way I can justify it."
"You realize that if you had told Kieran you already knew Emily, there's a ninety-one point seven percent chance that the mission would still be launched? He would have just figured out a different way in for you."
In all honesty, I did think of that. The second he said Emily's name when he spoke to me privately about how I was to go about this assignment, telling him was the first thing that popped in my head. The almost instantaneous second thought was that telling him wasn't an option. I didn't even get any say in my own decision, I'm telling you. My decision was made without my common sense's involvement.
"I guess I didn't think of that." The lie's out of my mouth before I can stop it. How would I explain that to JJ? I haven't gotten far enough to explain it to myself.
"Are you going to tell him?" He asks cautiously.
"Too late for that now, J, we'll just have to see what happens, won't we? I just needed tell someone." I look pointedly at him, "Someone I can trust not to say anything," I raise a challenging eyebrow. Make the right choice JJ.
He swallows once and shifts anxiously from one foot to the other, "I-I assure you, y-your secret is safe with me," He stutters with a cute, awkward smile. One eyebrow quirk and just like that, my normal, abnormal, JJ is back.
"Thanks for listening; you're a good friend JJ," I smile softly. "I should get going though, Emily will be off work in about half an hour and I've had enough of this place today." I give the old, beat up building a once over. Hopefully that didn't look as snobby as I think it did. I pat JJ on the shoulder gently, "See you later J," and start making my way home.
The tiny bell jingles softly as I push the door open. I fully intended on heading home, but this little Coffee shop, Courtney's Coffee, popped up on the way; I decided to enter this time.
"Hello again," Says the girl behind the counter. The people here sure do have a thing with friendly customer service, don't they? She's the same girl who gave me Emily's name; Charlie, the one with the ocean eyes.
"Hey." I try my best to smile like a normal person, like a person without secrets.
"Tea?" She asks, smiling at me genuinely. She'll never know who I am or where I just came here from; she'll never look twice.
"Yeah, please." I walk to the table at the far end of the coffee shop; the blue one in the far left corner that I've taken a particular liking to. Charlie brings my tea thirty seconds later.
"Sugar, milk, and honey are just on that table over there if you like," she points to a small table on the other side of the service counter that I haven't noticed before.
"Thanks," I nod. I'm half way to the table with my cup when the door jingles softly. I only hear it faintly in the back of my mind; I don't have any reason to care who it is.
"Hey!" Charlie greets whoever just came through the door enthusiastically, although there's a hint of surprise in her voice. My backs turned to whoever it is as I add some honey to my tea. "Haven't seen you for a while," The waitress says, calmer this time.
The honey dissolves easily due to the scalding nature of my tea. I pick up my cup carefully by the handle, determined not to spill any and burn myself, until I turn and actually see who's here.
"Yeah, sorry about that, a few things have happened, I've been a little busy," Emily says, obviously speaking to Charlie even though her eyes are set on me. "Hey, Naomi."
"Hey," I say, my eyes locking with hers, probably baring the same intensity, even if I'm unaware. "I was just waiting for your text."
"I was just going to grab a coffee on my way. Charlie?" She looks at the waitress, who's now back behind the counter.
"You got it," Charlie replies.
Emily walks to the table I was sitting at and sits down in the chair opposite of the one I was sitting in. "I see you've taken a liking to my table then?" I ask teasingly.
"You mean, my table," Emily says in the same playful tone, quirking an eyebrow. "I've sat at this table," she taps the blue-clothed surface with her fingers, "A lot longer than you have, Campbell." Charlie appears and puts Emily's coffee down. Emily smiles her thanks and turns her attention back on me. "So, got any specific plans for tonight then?"
I shake my head, "Not really; let's just try to get in his good books. After we get ourselves acquainted at the club, the next step is arranging something at their place so I can hopefully get a chance to go through his things. Oh, and by the way, I hope you don't mind, I invited my best friend, Effy. She's great, really, you'll like her."
"If you say so; anyway, let's go. I want to start getting ready; we'll go early if we have to, let's just get going," she says, pushing her chair out and standing up.
"I've only finished half my tea!" I protest.
"You'll survive," she says, grabbing her coffee, which the bitch intentionally got in a to-go cup, with one hand and my wrist with the other. She pulls me to my feet and leads me towards the door. I smile quickly at Charlie as Emily yells "See you Charlie, thanks!" over her shoulder and drags me through the door. I hear Charlie chuckling lightly before it closes behind us.
An hour later, Emily, Effy and I are getting changed at Emily's flat. We stopped at my place on the way to grab my things and pick up Eff, I told Emily she couldn't come in; I'm not ready for her to see my flat. When we arrived at her place, the three of us ended up sitting with Cook for like forty-five minutes before he fucked off to go do god knows what. I have no idea what Effy's impression of Cook is, but going by the amount of times she brushed him off when he tried it on with her, I'd say she's not interested. As for Emily, they've already met, but I think Eff likes her. Eff and I are in Emily's bathroom now getting changed while Emily's doing the same in her bedroom. There's a large makeup kit overflowing with small, square cases and multiple brushes crammed underneath the sink. A small eye shadow case is lying open on the corner of the sink, full of faint purples. It's sort of an emotional picture when you piece together what it implies. It provokes this strong pull in my chest. It's anger mostly; fury towards the injustice that this girl has to live with, but there's something more, something bigger, something personal.
Protection.
"You alright?" Effy's skeptical, but concerned gaze meets my eyes in the mirror.
The pull in my chest is a mixture between want and need. A sudden need to destroy whatever or whoever threatens Emily, and a sudden want to physically protect her; to shield her in my embrace from the dangers that complicate her life. The battling feelings are setting a fire in the center of my chest that slowly spreads with each second, consuming my instinct to reject the rampaging feelings.
"Fine," I smile weakly at Effy, still looking in the mirror. She shrugs and goes back to changing, but don't think I missed the flash of a smirk on those lips. A knock on the door startles me out of my staring match with my reflection.
"Almost done?" The fire crackles at the sound of Emily's muffled, heavy voice. It causes my throat to dry out. It makes me cough.
"Yeah," I croak, then clear my through, "Just a sec." I shake my head once and, standing straight again, I avoid Effy's eyes at all costs as I struggle to zip up the back of my dress. Finally, after too many pathetic, failed attempts, I surrender. "Could you…?" I ask Effy with a sigh, pointing to my back. She zips up the back of my dress without saying anything, she doesn't look at me but her expression is hard; she's hiding her true emotion. To say that's not what I expected from her is an understatement.
My dress is a dark blue, strapless, v-neck that ends at my knees and hugs my body. It's nothing fancy, just something I bought on sale with Eff weeks ago. Effy, on the other hand, looks effortlessly gorgeous in a plain, light grey summer dress that ends just above her knees and shows her figure in a loose, comfortable way without suffocating her body. I don't think she did anything to her hair except curl it a little.
"There, all beautified and ready to go," Eff smiles and smacks my butt lightly before going to open the door.
The second Effy's fingers touch the knob, my shoulders, my jaw, and my heart tense all at the same time. I know what's going to happen, I can deny it all I want, but it's inevitable. The second I see her, it's just like the time we caught each other's eye in Courtney's Coffee; time slows down, and then freezes. The only difference is, this time, the fire in my chest crackles as well. Effy's not even here anymore, not now, not in this moment.
Emily's wearing a dress that looks like mine, except that it's black and the straps are thinner. Her hair isn't straightened or curled, just falling carelessly, like she didn't touch it at all; I think I like it best that way. It suits her and emphasizes the fact that she clearly doesn't have to make an effort; unlike my hair, which I just threw up in a ponytail because I'm too stubborn to try anything else with it.
The fire in my chest rages into an inferno when I meet her eyes; they're always the most impacting. I still don't understand what this is, this slow motion, eye contact shit. It's like my brain doesn't understand why my heart rate speeds up, why my throat goes dry and my breath hitches, and why my body stills and sets on fire when my mind is empty and confused. It's doing my fucking head in; I have no warning or control over when it's going to happen.
"I just need to do my make up," Emily says quietly.
"Oh, yeah, sure," I mutter, moving out of her way, "C'mon Eff."
The bathroom door clicks softly as Emily closes it and I decide that creating as much distance between us as I can at the moment is a fantastic idea.
Five minutes later, Effy and I are sitting on the farthest couch as Emily emerges from the hallway with a subtly enhanced face, not that she needs it. She's also wearing a jean jacket and carrying a black purse over her shoulder.
"I called Katie while I was in there, she and Freddie are already there," Emily says, walking towards the door.
Effy and I get up to follow her. As Emily opens the door for us, it causes a small gust of wind to blow our way, bringing the smell of Emily, and Emily's perfume, with it. I cough again.
This is insane.
It is dark out by the time we get there, not that it's a problem, thanks to the blaring lights emitting from the club. I've been to this one before; I actually made a bust around the back of it once.
"There they are," Emily says, trying to talk over the muffled thump of the music and pointing to a couple at the front of the line. Katie's smiling so excitedly it looks like it may just split her face in half. Emily smiles back, not as enthusiastic, but just as genuine; I don't think I've ever seen her smile like that.
She jogs up to her sister and they latch onto each other in such an embrace you'd think they'd been separated for years. When they break apart, I notice Katie's eye's flicker over to me, then she mumbles something in some sort of foreign language to her sister, her eyes still flicking over to me now and then. Emily mumbles back, speaking in the same odd speech. Then Katie looks at Effy, and does the same thing; she mumbles something I don't understand to her sister, only this time she doesn't look suspicious and her eyes don't flicker, they just stay on Effy. It takes Emily touching her arm to snap her attention back. This entire moment has to be some sort of freaky twin communication shit.
When I look back at Effy in hopes of maybe catching a hint of her opinion on this odd situation, she's looking at Katie. Her expression is the same as it was earlier when we were changing in the bathroom; only this time her eyes are a little wider with surprise and a little more open with curiosity. I'll have to ask her about that later.
Turning my attention back to the source of my internal inferno, I notice the one thing I was supposed to be focussed on from the start, my subject, my target, my enemy; Freddie. He's standing behind Katie with his hands in the pockets of his dirty, worn jeans and a fake content smirk painted on his deceitful lips. He looks exactly like the picture Kieran showed us, only more disgusting in person. He looks up and catches me staring at him. Smiling, he offers his hand.
"Freddie," he says, completely missing my revolt. I felt Emily's eyes on me the second Freddie stirred from behind Katie. I reluctantly take his hand and shake it as he continues to smile at me, oblivious.
"Right," Katie interrupts, "Ems, you know Freds," Katie hugs Freddie's arm affectionately and I can't help the disgusting feeling of guilt at the sight. "But you two don't," she points at Eff and I, "So, this is Freddie, my boyfriend," she beams. It makes me slightly sick to my stomach.
"Right," I say, "Nice to meet you both. I'm Naomi, and this is Effy," I gesture behind me, hopefully in Effy's general direction.
"Cool," Freddie sneers, looking Effy up and down so subtly I'm the only one that notices.
"Alright, now we just have to wait for the brute over there to let us in," Katie mutters under her breath. "We were just about to walk in when he stopped us. Prick," she scoffs.
An idea comes to me at her words. It's not necessarily a good idea, but my job is to get on Freddie's good side, and it would be a good start. Plus, technically, job rules don't apply for the time being; technically, I'm not an agent; I'm off the job.
"Hang on," I tell the group, smiling mischievously. I walk over the bouncer and reach into my bra where I hid my badge, in case of emergency.
"I don't take bribes, lassie," he grunts at me.
"Oh, this," I say, taking a step closer, "Is no bribe." I flip the badge discreetly so I'm holding it right in front of my chest where it's hidden from anyone else's view. I bring up my other hand and press my index to my lips with a quirked eyebrow. "Get it?" I ask him. I watch his eye's un-squint as he finishes reading and widen in shock. "I need to get myself and that group there," I point behind me, towards Emily and the others "Into this club. Tonight." He stalls, contemplating whether he believes me or not. With one last glance at my badge, he nods once and moves to the side.
"C'mon, you lot. In you all go," he bellows.
"Good choice," I whisper in his ear and pat his chest. The others follow me inside in a bubble of excited whispers. I lead them all through the massive crowd of obnoxious bodies and direct them to an empty seating area.
"What," Katie gawks at me once we're seated, "Was that?"
I only shrug in response, a small, amused smile on my lips.
"I'm getting drinks," Emily announces, standing up. "Let's get fucked."
Everyone cheers and bangs on the table as Emily walks towards the bar.
An hour, four pints, about twelve tequila shots, and five bathroom breaks later, and Emily is well passed intoxicated. I, myself, have only had enough to give me a buzz. I might be allowed to drink and take drugs, but that doesn't mean I'm going to. I'm not letting my guard down, especially not when Emily's in such a vulnerable state. Speaking of Emily, you don't know the meaning of the words seductive and sexy until you've seen that girl dance. Effy and Katie have sat together talking all night, Freddie is somewhere I know I should be too, because that's sort of my job, but I've watched Emily dance all night from the bar instead. She takes the saying 'Dance like No One's Watching' seriously, except instead of being a ridiculous, frantic dancer, she's a hypnotic, lost in her own world dancer. When she dances, her body glows with freedom and shines with bliss, her obvious lack of care for other people's opinions radiates off her in toxic waves that hypnotize you. She's like a drug; a contagious drug.
I feel a little like a stalker, just sitting at the bar alone, watching her dance. Although, I do stalk people for a living, so I guess it's acceptable. Or I'm lying to myself. I continue to watch as she raises her hands above her head, swaying to the song on her own little cloud. I feel the heat cooking almost every inch of skin I have, freeze over and turn to goosebumps as a pair of hands wrap around her waist. Those hands don't belong, they weren't invited and they aren't welcome. The same anger and compulsion to protect begin to flicker in my chest. Regardless of the discomfort those hands caused me, a smile spreads across my face at the sight of Emily roughly ripping them off her and pushing the offender away, who's apparently not used to being rejected.
I can't tell what either of them is saying; it's like watching a fight on mute. The man is throwing his arms all over the place in frustration, while Emily's fists are clenched at her sides in suppressed rage as they both scream at each other. The flicker in my chest builds into a flare, but I know it's none of my business. The man takes a step closer and grabs Emily's wrist aggressively and that's all it takes for the flare to consume my senses. I jump from my seat but before I can take a step, a voice stops me.
"That was a cool trick you pulled earlier," Freddie says, sitting next to me.
"Uh, thanks," I say, flicking my eyes over to Emily.
"How long have you known her?" He asks.
"Few weeks now," I rush out anxiously.
"Oh yeah, cool. How'd you meet?"
"Party," I lie.
"Those Fitch girls sure are something, hey?" He sighs, faking a loving smile. I check on Emily again, she's still struggling to free her wrist from the older man's grip. I won't let her leave my sight.
"Yeah, they are, look I-"
"I wouldn't get too attached, Naomi," Freddie interrupts.
"I'm sorry?"
"Emily doesn't do relationships," he says seriously.
"I gathered." That one wasn't a lie.
"Even if she did, it'd hurt. With that girl comes pain, Naomi, trust me. It'd be better for everyone if you just kept your distance."
"Right." I can hear what he's saying, but I'm not really retaining the words, I'm too busy scanning the crowd for Emily again. When I find her, the man has his hand in the air.
It happens in slow motion; his hand comes down and regardless of everything else, I hear the smack pulse through the heap of people before it rings in my ears with the same insistence as my alarm clock. Then, everything happens at once.
The fire sparks and builds until the furious roar of the flames is all I hear, every other sense shuts off and I see nothing but red before my eyes find Emily again. Without another word to Freddie, I sprint away from the bar and closer to Emily as fast as possible. The second I'm through the people obstructing my path, I waste no time knocking the abusive cunt to the ground.
"You fucking," I kick him hard in the stomach. "Abusive, inconsequential," Another boot, in the chest this time, "Narrow-minded, arrogant," I stomp as hard as I can on his ribs, he yelps at that one. "Stupid fucking worthless piece of shit!" I scream. Then, because all that matters in this moment is Emily's safety, I kick him in the face hard enough that his nose starts gushing so fast I have to jump back to avoid getting blood on my foot. Breathing heavily, I back away from the curled up, naïve man who was unfortunate enough to get on my bad side. A giggle behind me is what reminds me I still have Emily to deal with.
"That," she slurs, "Was the coolest thing EVER!" She yells. She steps towards me and almost immediately loses her footing. Jolting forward, I catch her under her arms just before her knees hit the ground. I sigh and wrap her arms around my neck so I can stand us both up straight again.
"What am I going to do with you, Emily?" I ask her semi-conscious form. I stand there for a moment, enjoying the feeling of having Emily in my arms, of knowing that no matter what happens, in this moment, I'm here.
I keep her steady and navigate us through the crowd that has formed around us since my attack and over to where Effy and Katie have sat together all night.
"I'm going to take Emily back to ours, Eff. She's well done for the night," I tell my best friend. She just nods. "Is that alright Katie?" I ask just to make sure.
"Is she alright?" Katie asks, a hint of panic in her voice.
"Fine; just a bit too much to drink is all." Emily wriggles in my grip a bit, then giggles.
"Alright, just get her to call me tomorrow."
"Will do, Katie. See you later Eff."
I limp along with Emily through the club until we're outside, smiling at the man by the door who let us in as I pass him. I hail a cab quickly enough, settle Emily in the back seat, and get in next to her. She giggles the whole way home.
I know I said I wasn't ready for Emily to see my flat, I'm still not, but just because she trusts Cook, doesn't mean I do. I know I'll feel better if I'm close to her right now, and I don't want to think about why, I just want to go to bed. I don't really have anywhere else to go. She's coherent enough to walk to the elevator, but by the time it reaches my floor and the doors slowly open with a ding, she's passed out.
Bending over, I wrap an arm under her knees while the other supports her back, and lift her off the ground as carefully as I can with a small grunt. Making sure her head is resting properly against my chest, I begin to carry her, one arm under her shoulders and the other under her knees, down the hall, to my room. I manage the lock after a few frustrating attempts and thank whatever deity exists that I didn't drop the keys. I walk to my room as soon as the door's open and set Emily down as gently as I can on my bed. I know Effy has her own key, so I make sure the doors locked before taking off my shoes and getting changed.
When I head to my room to grab a large T and some clean underwear, the sight of Emily sleeping on my bed stops me in my tracks by effectively stealing all the air from my lungs. The same would happen to you if you walked in your room to a passed out Emily Fitch, curled up in a ball with her hands scrunched up in little fists and tucked under her chin. Instead of continuing on my initial path to my dresser, my feet take me to my bed without my consent; not that I'm complaining. I sit next to her and watch her chest rise and fall as the sound of just her steady breathing makes the room irresistible instead of terrifying.
I've been sitting here, watching her sleep for probably longer than a few minutes. It's interesting; instead of the look of relaxation and peace most people have when they sleep, Emily looks agitated. Her eyebrows scrunch now and then, forming little wrinkles in her forehead. I'd say it was cute if she didn't look so uncomfortable.
She wriggles a little, unexpectedly, and it makes me jump. A quiet whimper replaces the tedious sound of her breathing, and she shuffles closer to me. It takes her actually grabbing one of my wrists to make me jump off the bed. She whimpers once more and settles back into a more sound sleep. Shaking my head, I grab what I came for and change quickly in the hallway. I throw my dress in the wash and go back to my room to cover Emily up. After pulling the blankets securely around her shoulders with full, honest intentions of leaving the room immediately, I can't help kneeling next to the bed and taking the opportunity to observe her freely just one more time.
"You're safe now," I whisper. "I won't let anything hurt you."
My hand is millimeters away from brushing some of her tussled, sleep hair behind her ear when I realize what I'm doing. Snapping my hand back, I stand up.
"This was always going to be a bad idea," I whisper more to myself than to her. I grab a pillow off my bed and a blanket from the hallway closet, and make a bed on the couch. It's not nearly as comfortable as my bed, but it'll do.
I meant what I said; this was always going to be a bad idea. Lying to Kieran was the wrong thing to do, but not because of the assignment. I knew, the second I saw Emily properly for the first time in Courtney's, that it wouldn't be the last time I saw her; I wouldn't be surprised if Effy figured that out as well. Effy's not home yet, but she's going to get a kick out of this one. Secretive, badass, FBI agent Naomi Campbell has given up her bed for a girl. This one will earn me a two thousand watt smirk, I guarantee it. The most infuriating aspect of the smirk to come is the honesty in its purpose for being there. She's going to smirk at me because she's going to know. She knows I've never done anything like this before; usually I just let people deal with themselves. When she smirks at me tomorrow she's going to know that even though I'm not supposed to do this, even though I never feel compelled to do this, the reason I'm doing it now, even though I'll claim otherwise, isn't because I have to protect Emily.
It's because I want to.
Thanks for sticking with me guys, you're all amazing :)
~Shae.