The Doctors and the Companions discover the truth about the Smartest Little Town in the world…and then some…Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans!
flames and kisses,
Mlle. Phoenix Fox
The Eleventh Doctor frowned as he fumbled with a map,
"This Eureka is not even on a map."
"Must be a really small town." Clara mused from the middle of the backseat.
"And I'm not seeing any mile markers." Rose said looking out the window.
"I better stick to the speed limit. Don't want to attract any attention." The Tenth Doctor said slowing down as he started to enter the suburbs. Then he did a double take seeing an odd sight. He saw a paper boy on his route. But the boy wasn't throwing the papers. A robotic arm attached to the bike was. The boy then waved to a man mowing his lawn. But his lawn mower wasn't the regular gas-powered one. This one hovered over the ground and laser trimmed the grass. The man wasn't even breaking a sweat as he pushed it along.
The others had noticed these things as well. On the other side of a street they saw a woman walking her dogs, arms full of groceries. But then she walked ahead a bit and they saw the dogs leads were attached to a flying robot. They passed a gas station where a man appeared to be pumping gas into a classic car. Only the car had been converted to a hovercraft.
"Um...did we somehow get transported to the future?" Amy asked.
"No the computer at the labs said it was the year 2013." Eleven said thinking.
"Are we in a parallel universe? Like Pete's World?" Rose asked.
"Maybe." Ten said considering as he watched a pair of super identical twins ride past on a bike.
"Doctor! Look out!" Clara pointed seeing a silver figure in the road. Ten swerved to avoid what looked like a Cyberman crossing the road.
Except he yelled at them shaking a fist in anger,
"Watch where you're going you moron!"
Rose gasped in outrage at the rude gesture he gave.
"Oi! Same to you fella!" She yelled out the window. Then she furrowed her brow in stunned confusion.
"Did I just tell off a Cyberman who gave me the finger?" She asked the others.
"I...don't...think that was a Cyberman." Rory said looking ahead of the car.
They saw a fair on Main Street. But as they slowed down to account for the foot traffic, they saw people dressed as Roman Centurions and Kissograms in a police woman's uniform wearing long red wigs. Victorian Barmaids and Gallifreyian High Council members in long robes of red velvet. There were Cybermen and Weeping Angels too, and young girls dressed in sexy TARDIS and Dalek themed dresses. But the most prevalent were people dressed as the Doctor. Every Doctor. Clara recognized the outfits.
"What is all of this? Doctor?" Amy asked watching people gather around the tables selling souvenirs. The Tenth Doctor had to come to a stop to let a group of Siltheen cross. They were right next to a park.
The Eleventh Doctor shook his head, too confused to even think of an intelligent response,
"I don't..."
He stopped when he saw two banners being hung from either side of the park gates. One banner showed half of Ten's face, while the other showed half of his face. They each read, The Day of the Doctor, Special Showing Saturday Night in 3D!
"What?" Ten squeaked with wide eyes.
"Oh dear..." Eleven said.
"Doctor, what the hell is going on?" Rose asked.
"We don't know. And right now we don't have time to find out." Eleven said looking ahead.
"You're right. We have to keep going. We can't stop to investigate." Ten nodded with resolve.
But seeing them both twitching and fidgeting with reluctant curiosity, Amy grinned and asked,
"But we are going to investigate aren't we?"
"Yup!" Both Doctors said as Ten pulled into a parking spot in front of Cafe Diem.
"Here we go again..." Rory groaned as Ten parked and shut the ignition off from underneath the dash. Rory sighed as they piled out of the jeep and walked into the restaurant. Clara grabbed Eleven's hand to give it a reassuring squeeze. Then she did a double take seeing a group of kids writing complicated equations on the sidewalk.
She shook her head of the curious sight as they stepped inside. It was a cozy little place full of tables and chairs and a fireplace on one end of the room. But when the Doctor squeezed her hand again, she looked up to see the chubby owner of the place approach them. But he was dressed as the Fourth Doctor. Complete with super long multi colored scarf, floppy hat and overcoat, complimented by his own head of brown curls.
"Wow! You guys look great! Best cosplay ever! Is it some kind of formula to alter your appearance so you look just like the actors?" Vincent asked. Rory and Amy shared a look. Actors?
"Uh yeah something like that." Ten said.
"Fantastic! As number Nine would say." Vincent chuckled. Then he added, pointing to Eleven's open collar,
"But where's your bow tie?"
Eleven looked at his companions.
"Lost it. Feel kinda naked without it actually." He said.
"Oh well. Don't worry. I'm sure you'll find someone selling one here." Vincent reassured him.
"Can we get a table please?" Rose asked.
"Oh wow! You even got the voices right. Which is more than you can say about Billie Piper in series three, am I right?" Vincent laughed again.
"Uh...yeah. Right." Rose nodded as Vincent sat them down at a round table.
"So I'm Vincent. No relation to Tom Baker. Welcome to Cafe Diem. What can I get you guys?" Vincent asked.
"Where are the menus?" Clara asked.
"No need. Whatever you want, I can make for you." Vincent said.
"Really?" Amy asked.
"Try to stump me." Vincent said with confidence.
"Do you have Baruvian vandergloosh?" The Tenth Doctor asked. Vincent gave him a blank look and blinked.
"Guess there's a first time for everything..." He said. Ten frowned in disappointment and Rose patted his hand with a smile dancing on her lips.
"We'll just have fish and chips, thanks." Rory ordered.
"And fish fingers and custard!" Eleven added with childlike enthusiasm.
"Anything to drink?" Vincent asked.
"Beer." The girls chorused, all feeling the need for a drink.
"Got it. Pitcher of beer and our Doctor Who specials coming up." Vincent said writing their order down and turning to head into the kitchen.
"What did you say?" Eleven asked quietly as he turned in his seat to face him.
"Your order? Pitcher of beer? Doctor Who specials?" Vincent said, noting his look of dread.
"Oh. Thanks." Eleven nodded, shaken.
"You're welcome." Vincent said furrowing his brow with suspicion as he walked away.
As The Eleventh Doctor rubbed a hand down his face, Rory asked,
"Okay this is getting weird! Doctor, why is your picture everywhere?"
"And these people. They're dressing like you. Every incarnation of you." Clara added.
"They even know you normally wear a bow tie." Amy said.
"You wear a bow tie?" Ten asked raising a brow.
"Yeah. Bow ties are cool." Eleven said.
"But it's like we're famous in this universe. Us, our enemies. Yet they don't expect us to be us." Rose said.
"Yeah that guy said we looked just like the actors. What actors?" Amy asked.
"It's not just that. It's this whole town. Everyone has super advanced technology. Back at that Global Dynamics place they could tell we weren't human. They even knew us as Time Lords." Ten said.
"They barely believed it, but they knew. And that Sheriff. He knew about the TARDIS, he knew we were the Doctor. Yet he expected us to be holograms or robots. He didn't expect us to be real. He thought it was a game." Eleven added.
"And they kept mentioning a show. What show?" Ten asked furrowing his brow.
"Doctor? Do you think they're doing something bad?" Rose asked Ten.
"Maybe. Usually the case in these situations." Ten replied.
"And If they are, we'll stop them. Like always." Eleven said. Clara looked up at the door and her expression dropped seeing a Sheriff's deputy enter the cafe.
"Guys..." Clara said getting their attention.
"Hey Folks. My name is Deputy Andy. And I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to come with me." Andy said with a friendly if not remorseful smile as he hooked his thumbs into his belt.
"Sorry. Bit busy at the moment trying to figure out your freaky little town here." Eleven said rudely.
"Come back after fish and chips." Ten added.
"And custard." Eleven said.
"Seriously? You eat that together?" Ten asked his next incarnation.
"Why not? We invented the Yorkshire pudding." Eleven retorted as Clara and Rose shared a look.
"It's not the same thing." Ten argued.
"Pudding yet savory. Sound familiar?" Eleven asked as the Ponds rolled their eyes.
"I've got a great idea. We can take your order to go! Hey Vincent?" Andy said helpfully. But Rory took advantage of Andy turning his head towards Vincent to stand and take a swing at him.
"Amy run!" Rory yelled. Only his fist connected to Andy's jaw with a sickening crack. And to the Doctors surprise, a metallic clang.
"Rory!" Amy cried standing up.
"Agh! Ow! Ow!" Rory growled in pain holding his hand.
As Amy fussed and held his injured hand, Andy turned back and they saw that Rory hadn't even fazed him.
Andy winced in sympathy and hissed,
"Sorry about that."
"I think I broke my hand..." Rory whimpered.
Andy said to Vincent who was standing behind the counter stunned,
"Vincent, I'm going to need their order to go...and a bag of ice."
"So. Andy. Short for Andrew or Android?" Ten asked as he leaned against the bars of their small jail cell. The Eleventh Doctor was pacing and their companions were sitting on the bench. Rose had her legs crossed and her arms folded. Clara was watching the Eleventh Doctor pace and Amy was holding the bag of melting ice to Rory's swollen and injured hand.
"Android." Andy said with a smile as he tossed their takeout containers in the recycling bin. Then he crossed over to resume doing paperwork at his desk.
"Ah. Well that explains how your hand got injured Rory. I'm guessing titanium based alloy for your inner skeleton?" Ten said.
"With a nano polymer skin." Andy said.
"Whoop-di-doo..." Rory muttered sarcastically.
"But you look so human." Clara asked.
"I was designed that way to put people at ease while I do my job. And about two years ago, my emotion chip was upgraded. So I'm more man than machine now." Andy explained.
"That is incredible." Ten remarked, impressed.
"I've even got a girlfriend." Andy grinned.
"And we're back to little bit creepy..." Ten sighed.
"Doctor! Sit down. You're driving me nuts with the pacing." Amy told Eleven.
"Well excuse me Pond. I'm trying to figure this all out." Eleven said.
"Figure what out?" Clara asked.
"I don't know! How we got here? Where's the TARDIS? How to escape? What is going on in this crazy town full of super geniuses?" Eleven ranted.
"You could just ask you know."
They looked to the door where they saw Sheriff Jack Carter leaning casually against the door. Allison was behind him with a medical bag in her hand.
"Hey Boss! Dr. Blake." Andy greeted them.
"Hey Andy." Allison said passing Jack to put her medical bag on the desk.
"Just ask? Really? Just like that? You'll tell us the truth?" Ten asked skeptically.
"Just like that. But first let's get Rory taken care of." Jack said taking his keys and unlocking the cell. Rory gave Amy a reassuring look before standing and walking out of the cell towards Allison. The Doctors moved to exit too, but Jack held up his hand.
"Just...Rory." He said closing the door and locking it again.
"Oh come on! We didn't do anything!" Eleven cried.
"You stole my jeep. And that's just one of dozens of federal laws you broke during you're little escape." Jack told them locking the door.
"Thirty two to be precise." Andy added.
"Federal. So Global Dynamics is a government think tank." Ten said.
"It was until last year. Then a private party bought out the government and turned it into a co-op. But we're still a government contractor sworn to secrecy and all of our work is classified and protected by the Department of Defense." Allison explained as she examined Rory's broken hand.
"Does everyone in town work for this Global Dynamics?" Rose asked.
"Almost. Few freelancers." Allison said.
"Also known as the ones I worry about the most..." Jack muttered.
"You see Eureka was founded sixty-three years ago by Albert Einstein and a team of other scientists in the hopes of building a futuristic, modern town where the world's leading scientists can work together to advance society and make discoveries in peace." Allison said.
"Oh good ol' Albert. Always brilliant." Ten grinned fondly.
"Last I saw him he turned into an Ood." Eleven mused.
"How do you fit into all this Sheriff? No offense but you don't strike me as a guy with multiple PhDs." Amy asked.
"I'm actually an US Marshall permanently reassigned here after I accidentally drove into town and found out what made this place so special." Jack replied.
"And after the last Sheriff had a nasty accident that resulted in an early retirement." Andy added.
"Okay that answers our questions about the town. But how is it that everyone seems to know about us and our adventures?" Eleven asked. Allison looked to her husband who shrugged. Then she took a deep breath.
"Well...Fifty years ago, the BBC created a show about a time traveling alien in a spaceship that looked like a police box with human companions. Eureka had satellites in orbit already, so we could get the BBC as well. Eureka has been fans of the show ever since." Allison said.
"Wait. Sorry. Hold on. Are you telling us that we're in a universe where we're fictional characters on the Telly? As in, not real?" Clara asked.
"Yes we are." Jack nodded. But while the companions looked stunned, the Doctors just looked at each other and burst out laughing.
"Oh come on! Pull the other one." Ten chuckled.
"No! It's true. You're TV characters. The show is called Doctor Who. And there's been eleven actors to play each Doctor." Jack said.
"Who would want to watch a show about a daft old man who travels through time?" Eleven asked.
"Hello! You travel through time. Fight monsters. Most people would consider that must see TV." Amy pointed out.
"It's just not possible Pond!" Eleven told her.
"Seriously? Two aliens from another planet with two hearts a piece that can time travel can't believe they're in a world where they're fictional characters?" Jack asked incredulously.
"Nope." They said popping the p.
"Wait a minute. Let me try something. Kevin created this tribute video for YouTube." Allison said leaving Rory's side to bring up the internet on Andy's computer. Once she found the video, she turned the monitor so they could see. The Doctors shared a skeptical and dry look.
Until Allison hit play and they heard,
"Well, you'll remember me a little. I'll be a story in your head. But that's OK. We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? Cause it was, you know. It was the best. A daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well, I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back. Oh, that box."
They looked and Eleven's jaw dropped seeing himself on the screen talking to Amelia Pond after Big Bang Two. Then Ten's jaw gaped as they saw the First Doctor with their Granddaughter Susan in Black and White,
"But one day we shall get back. Yes, one day..."
Then they watched dumbfounded as all the Doctors, all the companions and all the TARDIS were shown fighting various creatures.
"When I say run, run...RUN!"
"Reverse the polarity!"
"Would you like a jelly baby?"
"Sorry, must dash!"
"Planets come and go. Stars perish. Matter disperses, coalesces, forms into other patterns, other worlds. Nothing can be eternal."
"Powerful! Crush the lesser races! Conquer the galaxy! UNIMAGINABLE POWER! UNLIMITED RICE PUDDING! ET CETERA, ET CETERA!"
"I love humans. Always seeing patterns in things that aren't there."
"What I did, I did without choice. In the name of peace and sanity."
"Fantastic!"
"Allonsy!"
"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but, actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff."
"I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm nine hundred and three years old, and I'm the man who's gonna save your lives and all six billion people on the planet below. You got a problem with that?"
"Geronimo!"
"Bow ties are cool."
"Come along Ponds!"
"Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically...run."
"Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica, takes the universe! But bad news, everyone, 'cause guess who! Ha! Listen, you lot! You're all whizzing about; it's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute, because I! Am! Talking! Now, the question of the hour is, "Who's got the Pandorica?" Answer: I do. Next question: Who's coming to take it from me? Come on! Look at me! No plan, no back-up, no weapons worth a damn! Oh, and something else, I don't have anything to lose! So, if you're sitting up there in your silly, little spaceship with all your silly, little guns, and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way! Remember every black day I ever stopped you, and then, and then, do the smart thing: Let somebody else try first."
The video showed all the regenerations, all their greatest foes and their worst defeats. All to the pounding rhythm of the Doctor Who theme song. They even heard River Song's voice over say,
"When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it'll never end. But however hard you try you can't run forever. Everybody knows that everybody dies and nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I do think that all the skies of all the worlds might just turn dark if he ever, for one moment, accepts it."
Finally the video ended with the First Doctor telling Susan,
"Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine."
The Doctors stood there stunned as the truth began to sink in.
"Oh my gawd..." Rose muttered.
"How could we be here now though?" Clara asked.
"We don't know." Allison shook her head.
"We're still trying to figure that out." Jack said.
"We're...we're not real..." Ten muttered.
"We don't exist..." Eleven said. Then they looked at each other before fainting to the floor.
"Doctor!" Rose cried rushing to Ten's side as Amy and Clara went to Eleven's. Jack quickly unlocked the door and Allison rushed inside to check them out.
"Jack get some smelling salts from my bag." Allison told him.
"Uh...Dr. Blake?" Rory said getting her attention. They looked up and their eyes widened seeing Rory's hurt hand was now glowing with a golden hue.
"Rory?" Amy asked worriedly.
"What the...frack?" Jack muttered. Then the glow died down and Rory noticed the swelling had gone down. He flexed his hand with ease.
"My hand isn't broken anymore." He said in wonder.
"No way..." Rose said.
"It's true Miss Tyler. Mr. Williams bones have completely knitted back together. At least according to my internal sensors." Andy said.
"What the hell is going on?" Clara asked. Allison and Jack shared a concerned look.