As always, the answers to your questions first ;-)

Some of you wondered why Ana felt uncomfortable about letting Anya go to see a doctor with their mother - Don't worry, there is nothing wrong with the relationship between Ana and Carla. Sometimes moms can be embarrassing, especially if they don't care who else can hear what they are saying, but the next chapter will explain exactly what happened...

Why would Ana need different teachers? - She had them while she traveled through Europe, so basically in every town she stayed while traveling she had one vocal coach and one piano teacher...

How could Ana simply guess that Christian and Elena had sex? - Ana saw them together in the lobby of Escala and the way the talked to each other and the way Elena touch his arm seemed very intimate to her. She wasn't 100 percent sure until she saw Christian react to her telling him to tell Grace. I guess this can seem random, but I like to give every character I write about some things from me and yes, I only need to look at the way two people act around each other and I can tell if they were intimate at one point or not. I think it's a weird ability and my friends and family are regularly freaked out by it, but hey everyone has some weird talents or abilities and this is mine and I gave it to Ana in this story ;-)

And for those of you who thought the shit had hit the fan last chapter, oh well, we are not quiet there yet...

Ana

I wake up the next morning and all I want is to pull my duvet over my head and never leave my bed. First Christian turned into an asshole, now Ethan has seduced my little sister and I have beaten him to a pulp and my brother thinks I am lying slut. I feel like I have entered an alternative universe and no matter what I do it all turns to shit. I look at my alarm on the nightstand and see that it is just after six in the morning. I could try to sleep some more, but I know I have to talk to my parents before the Kavanaghs call them.

So I take a quick shower, get dressed, take my dogs out and just when I'm back home in the kitchen where our housekeeper is preparing breakfast my parents come downstairs.

"You are up early, sweetheart" my dad says and frowns when he sees my bruised, swollen knuckles.

"Ana, what happened to your hands?"

"I umm ... lets sit down first, okay? I need to tell you something" shit why is this so hard? I have to breathe against the rising panic, but finally manage to calm down a little.

"Ana, please what is going on?" my mother asks worry written all over her face.

"I got arrested last night, I've beaten up Ethan Kavanagh in his apartment and the neighbors called the cops. Cooper bailed me out."

My parents just stare at me as if I am speaking chinese and they didn't understand a word of what I have just told them.

"This is a joke right, you are trying to play a prank on us?" my father asks and I shake my head slowly.

"I didn't mean to do that, I just wanted to talk to him, but he was simply disgusting and I lost it. I know that is no excuse, but Dad he really had it coming, after what he did..."

"What the hell could he have possible done for you to beat him up, Anastasia?" now my dad is yelling and I feel like a small child again.

"He acted like he was a friend to Anya, took her to his apartment, gave her alcohol and had sex with her, he did not use protection and he kicked her out afterwards telling her things I'm not going repeat right now, but bottom line is he only did this to get back at me, because I didn't want to date him or have sex with him. When I wanted to confront him he laughed at me basically telling me that he would have never done this to Anya had I said yes to him. And we he laughed about it, after I had to see Anya crying her eyes out because she is so ashamed that she let him do this to her, I lost it. I know I should be sorry, but he deserved it."

"He made my 16-year-old daughter drink alcohol and had sex with her?" my dad asks and I nod.

"Where is that little bastard?"

"I guess still at the hospital, I kind of broke his nose and he lost a tooth ... well maybe two." I mutter embarrassed and I expect my Dad to yell at me again, but instead he hugs me.

"Well done, Annie!"

"Ray! Our daughter just beat another person into the hospital and you praise her?" my mom sounds as shocked as I feel.

"Damn right, I praise her Carla. That little fucker had it coming and he can be damn glad that he already is in the hospital or I would deliver him there myself. We raised our children to stand up for each other and I would have been very disappointed if Ana would have done nothing. Now do I like the fact that my daughter used violence against another person, no! But, in this case she was right. That Kavanagh boy has crossed a line and he deserved what he got."

My mom is just about to reply when the door bell rings. Shit, it's just a little after 7, this can't be good and sure enough my Mom returns with Carrick and Mister Kavanagh. Oh fuck, Carrick is Ethan's attorney? I'm fucked, I might as well check into prison right now.

"Carrick, if you are here to tell me that you are helping Ethan Kavanagh to press charges against my Annie, I will never talk to you again" my Dad says.

"Calm down Ray, this is not what you think. After Kate informed her parents what happened last night and what Ethan did, after they talked to him to confirm he really did what Ana accused him off, they came to me. Ethan is not going to press charges against Anastasia and I cashed in some favors to make it all go away. The DA is not going to press charges either. In return the DA wants a donation for his next election."

"I pay it" I say immediately, but Mister Kavanagh turns to me.

"That is very nice of you Anastasia, but not necessary. I am going to pay for it. What my son did, well he will have to deal with me for it. You were trying to defend your sister and Kate told us how Ethan provoked you, we talked to him and he ... I'm not going to repeat what my son said, but please take this as my apology for this situation, I must have done something wrong raising that boy for him to turn out that way."

"Ana, sweetheart, why don't you go and check if your sister is up, I need a word with Mister Kavanagh." my dad says.

"Okay, thank you, oh and Carrick. I need to talk to you. Can you wait until I'm back."

"Sure, take your time Ana" he says and I go upstairs and wake Anya up. I fill her in what happened and I'm relieved that she didn't take the news as bad as I thought she would.

Once I'm back downstairs I ask Carrick to take a walk with me.

"Are you alright, Ana? You seem nervous."

"I need your help. I need you to draft a non-disclosure agreement for me." he stops and looks at me.

"Why do you need someone to sign and NDA?"

"I want to hire a private investigator, but you know some of them are not really trust worthy and if the outcome is really bad it could seriously hurt the reputation of someone who means a lot to me. So, I need to make sure that what ever information the private investigator gathers it is not going to be leaked to the media."

"Okay, I can do that, but I would like you to tell me more about what is going on."

"Can you keep a secret, even from Grace?"

"You ask for a lot here Ana, please tell me what is going on."

"Elena Lincoln is a pedophile." As I say the words Carrick's eyes widen in absolute horror.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I over heard that she tried to seduce some men I know while they were in their teenage years, 14 or 15 years old maybe and I'm convinced that she got lucky with at least one other underaged boy. I need to know if she is still doing this and if she does I'm putting an end to this. But she is also a dear friend to mom and Grace and if I'm wrong, you know I could ruin her reputation and mom would be so mad at me. I just need more information before I decide what to do."

Carrick rubs his hands through his hair and looks almost scared. "Ana I know you don't like Elena, so this NDA is not to protect her. Are you trying to protect your brother or one of my sons from public humiliation?"

"Please don't make me answer this question" I beg him.

"Ana I have to know, because no matter if it is one of my boys or Cooper, I will help you to find out if it is true. Please Ana."

He looks as heartbroken as I feel and I know I have to tell him. "It's Christian. I know that she tried to seduce Cooper and Elliot, but they told her to take a hike. Yesterday, I saw Christian and Elena in the lobby of Escala. They didn't know I was watching them and ... you know how sometimes you see two people talk and the way the act and you just know that at some point they were intimate. That is what I saw with Elena and Christian. I can't just ask him, you know how he is Carrick, he will deny it and shut down. So I need proof, not just to bring her down, but also to show Christian, that this woman is vile and not his friend."

"Jesus Christ, this can ruin him, being associated with a pedophile. Does he know that you suspect something?" Oh crap!

"I ... well, yesterday after Cooper bailed me out, Christian and Elliot were there, too. Since I'm back from Europe Christian has completely changed, and I lost it with him. I told him he has a week to tell Grace what is going on between him and Elena or I would do it."

"My god, this is such a mess. Ana you need to stall him, tell him you didn't mean it or something like that. He can't suspect anything until we know the truth."

"Okay, I try my best."

Carrick nods and hugs me. "I know a very trust worthy private investigator, I'll call him once I'm in my office. I don't want Grace to overhear this conversation and we need to keep this between us, the more people know the higher are the chances that Elena finds out what we are up to."

"Okay, I won't tell anyone."

Carrick leaves to go back home and I walk back home and straight to the dock next to our boathouse. I guess now I have to call Christian. I hate to do this, but Carrick is right, if we want to get to the bottom of this Christian must think that I just said what I said to get even with him.

I sit down on the dock even though it is way to cold to do that as it is a really chilly october morning, but I like to be close to the water and right now it's calming me. When I feel calm enough I dial his number. It rings two times and then goes to voice mail. Oh come on, so now he isn't even taking my calls? Well, if there is one thing I know about Christian then it is that he would never switch off his phone, so I keep calling him, but after the fourth time of me calling and him sending my call to voice mail it gets boring. I look at my watch and see that it is already 8:25 so he is probably at his office. So I call Andrea his assistant.

"Grey Enterprises Holdings, Mister Grey's office, Andrea Parker speaking."

"Hi Andrea, it's Ana Steele. Is Christian in his office yet?"

"Yes Miss Steele, he came in 20 minutes ago, do you want me to put you through."

"Yes, thank you." After a 30 seconds of annoying music she is back on the line.

"I'm sorry, Miss Steele. Mister Grey umm ... he told me that he is not going to take your call and that you are not to call his office again."

"I see, thank you, Andrea. Please tell Mister Grey if he wants to behave like a child, I can do the same thing by spending the rest of the day calling him every minute until he will take my call. Bye Andrea." I hang up before she has the time to answer and continue to call Christian for about 20 minutes. I know that this will annoy the fuck out of him and sure enough after what feels like call number 200 he picks up.

I have to put my phone on speaker and hold it away a bit because he is yelling and cussing like a bunch of drunken sailors. I don't even really listen and decide to just let him vent for a while, but after three minutes I have enough.

"Jesus Christ, Christian, stop yelling or you end up giving yourself a heart attack. I'm just calling to apologize" I mutter and that finally stops his tirade.

"What?"

"I want to apologize for what I said yesterday. I was out of line and I am sorry. It is none of business who you are intimate with or for how long. I was mad that you turned my brother against me and for the way you are treating me lately, so I wanted to get back at you. But like I said, what is between Elena and you is none of my business. I can't speak for Cooper or Elliot, but I am not going to tell anyone."

"I see, well at least you didn't lose all you class and manners in Europe." I have to close my eyes and count to ten hearing him say that. Shit, I want to reach through the phone and slap him again.

"Lucky me." I mutter instead and want to hang up, but his voice stops me.

"How did you find out?"

"I saw you together yesterday at Escala. You talked to her by the elevators and I don't know, you never even looked at her at dinner parties, but yesterday you two looked very familiar, to be honest, I wasn't completely sure before I saw your face after I told you that I would tell Grace."

"I need you to sign an NDA."

"Oh my god, why not just spit in my face, Christian. Honestly, who are you and were is the Christian I have known for all my life? You told me you don't even know who I am anymore, well back at ya, Grey. So to answer your question, Christian. No, I am not going to sign an NDA, but I have a better idea. You are dead to me!" I hang up knowing full well that he could hear that I am crying, but I don't give a fuck. I have to think about myself and him constantly hurting me is not good for me. So, starting now I will avoid seeing him at all cost. Hah, right and the best way to do that is to move into the building he lives in, I think bitterly.

"Hey little one, why are you crying?" I look up and see Elliot. Great, is he going to call me a slut now, too?

"Your brother, but I don't care anymore. So, want to tell me that I am a slut, too?" I ask bitterly and wipe my tears away.

"No, actually, I have no idea what has gotten into my brother or your brother for that matter, but to me it is much more likely that you took singing and piano lesson than you turning into a slut all of a sudden. Besides those guys came to your hotel rooms on their own, you didn't arrive with them, so either you were telling the truth or those were callboys and you most definitely don't need to hire someone to get laid." he says and sits down next to me.

"Could you tell this Christian and Cooper?"

"I tried little one, but those two are convinced the know the truth and you know how fucking stubborn they are. I kind of got into an argument with them and I probably won't talk to both of them before the pull their heads out of their asses. But that's not why I am here. Is it true, Christian and Elena?"

"Please don't ask me about this Elliot."

"Ana, he is my little brother."

"Look, Carrick and I are taking care of it, this is all you need to know for now. Please, don't mention it again until we know more."

"God, this fucking old bitch, I should have told Mom and Dad when she came on to me. Wait, you told my Dad?"

"Yes, because I think that she is a pedophile, I'm way out of my element with this, I needed advise and Carrick is the only one who really knows how to handle this. But you can't tell anyone, not even Carrick that you know. Please Elliot."

"Okay, but if that bitch seduced Christian while he was still a kid, I'm going to ruin her."

"If she did I'm sure you have to get in line to do that." I snort.

"Probably, so how do you feel today, I mean after beating the fucking asshole yesterday, he didn't hit you back right? Shit, if he did I'm driving other to the hospital right now and beat him up the moment he comes out of the door." Elliot says and looks at me.

"No, he didn't. Christ Elliot, that guy is such a pussy, he was crying for Kate to help him."

"Wow, what a wuss, anyway the next time I see him he will wish that it would be you again who is beating him, because I will probably end him for what he did to Mia, Anya and you."

"Don't waste your energy on him, besides I have a feeling that we are not going to see him again. His father seems to be pretty mad at him and my Dad wanted to talk alone to Mister Kavanagh, which probably means he told him that it is better for Ethan to leave Seattle for good."

"Yeah, I would probably leave town, too if your dad was mad at me, fuck he can be scary."

"Maybe, to me he is just my daddy."

"Can I ask you one more thing before I have to go to work?"

"Sure, ask me what ever you want."

"Why have you never told Christian that you have it bad for him?"

I stare at Elliot in absolute horror. Oh my god, he knows, does that mean Christian knows, too? Oh shit, I can't breathe ... I can't ... oh god...

"Shit Ana!" I hear Elliot call out when I double over and throw up into the sound. When it stops, I sit back I try to get my breathing under control.

"Oh my god, do you need me to get my mom? What the hell was that, Ana?" I barely find the courage to look at Elliot, but when I do he looks really worried. Damn it, I managed to hide my panic attacks from anyone since I was 15 and now Elliot had to witness one.

"Say something, Ana. Please?" I know I could probably come up with some sort of lie, but that is not what I want. I don't want to lie.

"Not here, okay? I need to brush my teeth, maybe we can go somewhere and talk."

"Sure, I take you out for breakfast."

30 minutes later we are at IHOP and I stare down at my pancakes.

"I have panic attacks. This was a bad one, sometimes they start slowly; my hands start to sweat, then I can't really breathe and most of the times it ends with me throwing up. I never told anyone and you have to promise me not to tell anyone either, it will only make things worse for me."

"Since when, did this start in Europe?"

I have to laugh hearing this. "Europe, no. It started in high school, well actually on the graduation day of middle school. Do you remember that day."

"Wait, wasn't that when you were supposed to give a speech and you got sick all over the principal?"

"Yep, it sure was. I never wanted to give that speech. You know me, I don't like to be in the center of attention. I told my parents I don't want to do it, but they just told me I had to, that it was an honor to be asked and that it would be a good experience for me. The day of graduation I begged them not to make me do this, but they kind of dragged me to the stage, telling me all would end well. When I sat on stage with the other people who wanted to give a speech I felt so sick and I wanted to run off, but the principal wouldn't let me and then it was too late and I threw up on him."

I have to stop and take some deep breaths before I can continue. "Everyone was laughing and I can honestly say that this was the worst day of my life. After the summer I went to a different school than Mia and Kate, so I was pretty much alone there. Well, I knew no one there, but they all knew me, because during the summer the video of me throwing up became very popular on YouTube. At first it was only talking behind my back or pointing fingers at me and laughing, but some boys took it further."

I stop when Elliot slams his fist on the table. "Fuck Ana, why haven't you told anyone. You could have transferred to Mia's school or your parents could have talked to your teachers. Shit, Cooper and I could have showed up at your school and kicked some asses."

"I just wanted to forget about it and I feared things would only get worse Elliot. Anyway, one day after school some boys from the football team cornered me. The started to push me around, making fun of me and I panicked and ended up throwing up, the video of that is on YouTube, too. And from that point on things just got worse. Whenever I feel pressured or cornered I panic. It got so bad in college with group discussions and talking in front of the others in classes that I lost so much weight I got scared. My dentist thinks I'm bulimic and my blood work came back so bad, my doctor told me I am slowly killing myself. I wanted to figure this out alone, but I couldn't. So, I started to see John. You know, John Flynn, Christian's shrink."

"Does it help?"

"At first I didn't think so, but then he advised me to get out for a while, just leave everything behind me and try to enjoy my life. And it helped, Europe was the best thing for me Elliot, I had one panic attack in the first week, and after that nothing. So I decided to challenge myself, just doing things that are way out of my comfort zone, like going to clubs dressed in clothes I wouldn't wear usually. I did a bungee jump, went horse back riding at the beach, even though I'm afraid of horses, my piano teachers and vocal coaches were all men, because I usually feel uncomfortable around men I don't know. I did a tandem sky dive, went to an amusement park and took a ride with every roller coaster, just fun stuff I'm not usually doing. And this is why I want to surprise my parents on their anniversary by singing a song in front of all their guests. I thought, you know if I can jump off a bridge and do all these things, then I can speak or sing in front of others, too."

"And this was the first panic attack you had since you are back?"

"No, I had two bad ones yesterday."

"Well fuck, do you still see Flynn?"

"Yes, he thinks that I am putting pressure on myself because I am always trying to please everyone instead of just doing what is best for myself and of course that by keeping it a secret from anyone I'm making things worse."

"You know little one, I think he is right with that one. We could all help you, this is serious. How much nutrition do you get if you throw up all the time and your body is under permanent stress. This can't be good."

"I know Elliot, but I don't know how to change this and right now I just want to pack my bags and leave. And the worst part is that I am trying to get better and first Christian and now Cooper making things worse for me and even after telling them the truth they don't believe me and I don't ... I don't know what to do ... what am I going to do Elliot? I can't ... I..."

"Hey, look at me Ana, here take my hands and breathe, in and out little one, we can fix this, you are not alone anymore. Okay, I'm going to help you. Just breathe" Elliot says and holds my hands in his until I calm down again.

"See Ana, it doesn't have to end with you throwing up. There is no need to panic and at this point, and I know this sounds harsh, but you can't give a shit about Cooper or Christian. Let them think what ever the hell they want. You need to focus on yourself, not torture yourself by trying to convince them to believe you. They don't deserve your attention if they treat you like this. Wait until your parents anniversary, the moment the see you on stage they will feel so ashamed of themselves that they will probably beg your for forgiveness the moment you come of that stage. And let my Dad deal with Elena. Focus on yourself and if you need help, you have my number."

"Thank you Elliot. And well, to answer your question from before. You know how I feel about Christian and why I have never told him. Back in high school, there was one boy who was nice to me. His name was Jose. He asked me on a date and it was actually pretty nice, he drove me back home after our date and we made out in his car, but I got so nervous that I had a panic attack and threw up on him. He never talked to me again and I never wanted to date anyone again. I mean who wants a girlfriend that throws up on him every time she gets nervous?"

"You could always tell him, though now he doesn't even deserve to hear the truth. Give it time, focus on yourself and the rest will all fall in place, Ana."

I look at Elliot and just hope that he is right and maybe it is time to come clean to my family. Elliot could calm me down so easily. Maybe, by telling my parents they can help me, too. I need to talk to John about this, but I feel like this secret becomes a heavier burden every day and I don't want to carry it alone anymore...