Chapter 9: End of Watch

He didn't know where they were headed, didn't care. Nothin' mattered. Survival...surviving...that didn't matter either, but Daryl couldn't turn that off. It had been a death march since Rick woke him...ripped him from his last moment with Beth when walkers were tearing into the house. They'd been running for their lives ever since, hitting wave after wave of the walking dead. Days and nights passed without measure; he didn't have the will to count...didn't need to. He slept, woke up, fought, ran...and now his dreams were as empty as his soul.

For a while, it seemed like the end was comin' for all of 'em; no one could keep up pace, not even him. But then, the walkers stopped coming. Everyone collapsed where they were and slept the night, and the walkers still didn't come. At first light, Daryl slipped away unnoticed. Hunting...even he was hungry, and he didn't want to live. In the woods alone, several times Daryl thought that maybe he would just keep on walking, not looking back...but something stopped him...what, he didn't know.

The two lane country road caught him by surprise, the trees and scrub brush growing up right to its edge. Standing on the cracked pavement, Daryl couldn't take his eyes off it...that sign. It wasn't an official sign or nothing, but it was a sign...a marker all the same. His ass hitting the ground, just sittin' in the middle of the road, crossbow in his lap, string of squirrels discarded beside him, he was just staring up at it.

"I'm a tracker..." Daryl tracked stuff, found shit...always knew the right direction to go, how to find his way home, wherever that was...had his entire life, but now...

You really don't know this game? When Beth had suggested a game, Daryl had been reluctant but curious all in one. And he didn't know it.

I never needed a game to get lit before.

Wait, are we starting?

How do you know this game? For just a second, Daryl wondered if Beth wasn't as innocent as she seemed, schooling him on a drinking game, but his doubt was unfounded.

My friends played. I watched. Okay, I'll start. I've never shot a crossbow. So now you drink.

Ain't much of a game. At least he knew he could drink little Beth under the table.

That was a warm-up. Now you go.

I don't know. He knew lots of things...just not things he wanted her to know. Now, he would give anything to have the chance to tell her everything...

Just say the first thing that pops into your head.

I've never been out of Georgia...

"I've never been out of Georgia," Daryl confessed out loud, but there was no one to hear him.

The sign...that fucking sign...its words painted in scrawling script...

Now Leaving Georgia. Hope You Keep Georgia on Your Mind.

It was just a state line...an arbitrary boundary slapped down on a piece of paper a couple hundred years ago. It didn't mean shit. He'd probably crossed over it out in the woods a couple times hunting, but this...it was different.

Georgia, it was the place where he was bred and born and raised, but none of that mattered shit. But Georgia, it was where Beth was born. It was where he fell in love, had a life with her, no matter how short the time. And it was where Beth...died...where she would be forever. Daryl knew this country road wasn't gonna take him home.

Once again, Daryl tried to find it, twist the warm silver ring around his finger, but he only found bare, calloused flesh. He wanted his wedding ring back...but it never existed no matter how much his head told him it did...how many times his fingers went to find it, touch it, only to realize there was nothing there. Never had been. More than anything in the world, he just wanted his Beth back.

"I'm a tracker, but Beth...I've never...been so lost..."

The gunfire had brought him back to reality, to the danger of their world. He might not have wanted to live...but the others...his group, Daryl didn't want them to die. He never made it to them though...never saw if they survived or not, if what he did made any difference. The herd was too thick...there were too many. After the first bite, Daryl knew he was dead, just livin' on borrowed time, and the clock was running out quick. But he wasn't just gonna lay down and die...he was gonna take as many fucking walkers down with him as he could. Nothin' left to lose. When there was nothing else coming at him, Daryl knew he could rest. Laying down in the center of the carnage, in a clear spot that seemed to be waiting just for him...he was so exhausted. Not just 'cause it was the end, but 'cause life...it finally beat him...and now, he didn't have to fight anymore. He could give up. Daryl remembered that day, running form the prison, when him and Beth fell in the field when neither of them could run anymore. What if he'd just reached out and took her hand? Would it have all been different, fate changed in that one moment, or would he have still failed her? It didn't matter anymore. They were both dead.

It was odd...he could feel the blood seepin' outta his veins...outta his wounds...but it didn't hurt. It was almost euphoric. Looking up at the canopy of leaves far above his head, it was so bright, the light shining through, and he could feel the sun on his face. It was warm...comforting. It was always gonna be like this...Daryl knew it all along. He would go down fightin' to the bloody end. Maybe that gave the others a chance...that was all he could hope for. In the final moments, all a man could really do was try to make peace with his life. Daryl...there was a time when he thought he'd go out regretting the things he'd done, not the things he didn't do, but that wasn't true anymore. He regretted all the things he never got to do with Beth, but as Beth had put it, what I never did is done. Daryl was good with most of it. In his heart, he knew he'd done his best to balance the scales of his life...he'd done his best, might not have succeeded, but he tried. If it wasn't good enough, he'd take whatever judgment was passed down on him. Closing his eyes as his life drained onto the dirt, she was all he could see...all he could remember...the one purely good and beautiful thing in his life. Beth...love...and her sweet, innocent smile. His first love...only love. The love he never knew he wanted, but maybe, just maybe he deserved it after all...

Something strange...it took all his focus to realize it...understand. There was a hand gripping his...a man's hand. Holding it so tight. He wasn't gonna die alone.

"You're my brother..." The voice was shaking and pained, but it was Rick...

Joe! Hold up...these are good people...You want blood. I get it. Take it from me...

Daryl made that offer once, meant it then, and this time...finally God got something right. The others...they were gonna live. It was so bright, even with his eyes closed. He tried and thought he was able...thought he squeezed back.

"My...brother..." he managed.

God dammit. Rick almost fell to his knees at the edge of the walker corpses that ringed Daryl's body. "No...no..."

He knew Daryl wasn't gonna make it...didn't want to after losing Beth, but Rick wasn't ready to lose him...and not this way. Daryl had gone out fighting though, true to who he'd been, what kind of survivor Rick knew he was from the moment he stepped out of the woods the first time they'd met...dangerous and deadly. Rick bowed his head, palming his Python, and taking a deep breath before he stepped in and did what had to be done. It was gonna be him. Daryl deserved that. Standing next to Daryl's body, taking aim, Rick cringed, seeing...realizing the cruel truth. He was still breathing...he wasn't dead. Crouching down beside him, not even sure if Daryl was conscious...hoping he wasn't...Rick took his hand, holding it firm...trying to work up the nerve.

"You're my brother..." Was his voice coming out at all?

Rick knew he waited too long to tell Daryl, but men like them, telling things like that...most of the time, they were understood but went unsaid. He'd waited until Daryl offered to sacrifice his life for him and Carl...and today...Daryl didn't just offer, he made that sacrifice, paid that bill. But when was the moment it became true...Daryl...his brother? It hit him hard when he remembered. Dale...it was his group, they followed him, suffered because of his choices. Dale was his responsibility, but Daryl stepped forward, taking his revolver, took his burden away, made it his own.

Sorry brother.

That was when Rick knew.

It was weak, but he felt it, Daryl's hand gripping his. Maybe it was just reflex. Maybe Daryl wasn't even there anymore...couldn't think or feel.

"My...brother..." It was so quiet...raspy, but they were coherent words.

God...no... Daryl shouldn't be awake, much less alive. He wasn't bleedin' out fast enough. He was suffering.

Rick aimed his weapon twice, pulling it away each time, not having the courage to do what needed to be done, still holding Daryl's hand. In that moment, Rick was glad he hesitated because Daryl had last words. They were clear and solid for a dying man...a man bleeding out on the ground.

"Beth...I'll love you...for the rest of my life..."

It wasn't meant for him to hear, but he needed to hear it. Rick knew he should've pulled the trigger when Daryl was on his knees begging him beside Beth's grave. He hadn't been strong enough...but now he was. Now he had to be. Squeezing Daryl's hand as tight as he could, Rick rested the muzzle of his gun at Daryl's temple. He hoped with everything he was that in this final moment, Daryl was seeing Beth.

"Go to her, Daryl...go to Beth. Your watch is ended brother."

The whole forest went still and silent as the gunshot echoed...and it stayed silent in honor of Daryl. Rick's revolver fell to the ground as he crashed to his knees in Daryl's blood. Daryl's hand was limp, but Rick still couldn't let go.

"You were the best of us..."

~Author's End Note: This chapter wasn't particularly beautiful or well written, but it hit me really hard for some reason. I didn't want to post it right before Christmas because it was too sad for me. Also, I'm sorry if anyone thought Daryl should have a big action sequence, going out in a blaze of glory. In this, I just needed Daryl to go quietly. One more chapter to go, and then I'm going to put this sadness behind. I'm really looking forward to being able to get back to "I Will Follow...". I'm excited!~