(Disclaimer: I don't own Space Dandy, I just enjoy torturing the crew.)
World: Machina
Timeline: Six Months Ago
Title: To Make the Sale You've Gotta Advertise, Baby
A word from the Narrator:
"The universe is an infinite place, where everything and anything is possible. There are universes upon universes upon universes, where every possible scenario is described and acted out. These layers of the whole, the 'multiverse', if you will, sometimes feature scenarios that manage to be both mundanely typical and utterly, surprisingly alien. This particular world is one of those. At first glance, it might appear as familiar as a Saturday evening late-night cartoon. When one stops to take in the details, it becomes apparent that something altogether strange has happened, though.
Personally, I find it creepy."
QT hummed softly to himself, considering the advertisement playing on the shop front viewer. There were certainly some excellent deals going on during the holiday weekend. The age-old quandry of the consumer raged in the robot's electronic brain. Was it better to space out his purchases so that the ship was not unduly crowded with as-yet unneeded supplies? Or would it be better to make the more economical decision and take advantage of the savings that could be had? Of course, being laden down with more mass would alter the ship's fuel economy, and fuel was on the expensive side just now...
Behind the little yellow bot, Dandy waited impatiently, making some complaining noises about the delay. QT waved the bored human off. This was a serious decision, and it needed his full attention. Maybe..? Yes. He would compromise and purchase more of their commonly-consumed supplies now. The savings should offset the added expenses in fuel by a very acceptable margin. Dandy made a sour face as the yellow robot turned to inform the human of his decision. Every fiber of the dark-haired man's body seemed to scream "I DON'T EVEN CARE!"
"This effects you too, Dandy!" QT scolded as he crossed his extension arms. "And don't give me that look. Your attitude could use some adjustment!" So saying, the little bot turned and lead the way into the store.
"Take a flyer!" A cheerful pink and white sales-maker bot greeted them as they entered. "Today's special prices are printed on the front, and we have a coupon for our current customers on the back!"
The cash register spoke up, putting in a greeting to the duo. "If it's not our favorite customers! Welcome back!"
QT laughed at the comment, appreciative of the recognition even if he was embarrassed that they had gained it through paying for things that his curious human companion broke or overturned. "Thank you! Um, I was hoping we could load up on some food. I see you have a good price today on some of Dandy's favorites. You know how finicky he can be."
Register chuckled his agreement as Sales-Maker grinned from alongside him on the counter. The little pink bot scanned a bored Dandy speculatively. "So how are things with Dandy, lately? We haven't had any excitement around here since the last time you guys were in!"
QT sighed, turning to regard the grouchy human, who'd taken to ignoring the lot of them and their prattle. "Oh, he's mostly the same as he ever was. You know Dandy, he's always getting into something."
As if to demonstrate, Dandy wandered away to stare into the tanks of colorful creatures for sale. QT wrung his wrists fretfully as he made a confession to the shop staff. "I'm actually a little worried about him. He's so moody recently! Nothing seems to hold his interest, and he tends to seem unengaged most of the time. It's not healthy, is it? I'll have to admit, I'm not expert on human behavior, but it seems really off."
"Well," a thoughtful Maker ventured, "Perhaps he just needs something that would stimulate his mind? How is he with puzzles?"
QT groaned, placing a metal hand over his blue faceplate. "Don't ask me what happened with the last one, please. I'm still trying to delete the memory."
The pink and white robot frowned, tapping her aqua faceplate as she processed the possibilities. "What if it was something more active than that? Something that could break him out of his routine? Does Dandy have many friends?" When the yellow robot replied in the emphatic negative, Maker brightened. "That's definitely an idea, then! What do you say we look around the store? We might find someone he'd get along with! Oh! Or maybe he already has!"
QT turned just in time to watch as Dandy ogled some Selaa females nearby. "I don't think I can approve of Dandy spending time with females. I'd prefer something less noisy and disgusting, if we really are going to try and find him a companion."
The salesbot flashed a winning preprogrammed smile on her faceplate and reached for the mobility cart that allowed her to move around the store. Once settled, she pulled QT along past Dandy, stopping in front of a large enclosed tank that appeared to have something resembling a pile of laundry in it.
"Think a little further outside the x/y axis, QT! What about this one? We've been trying to place him for a while, and he's actually one of our specials today! As a bonus since you're such good customers, I'll give you a free trial period to see if he'll work out for you."
Inside the observation tank, the mysterious creature unfolded and uncoiled itself, revealing a sleep-dazed Betelgeusian. QT watched as the lazy creature curiously approached the side of the tank to sniff at them. Well, it was an idea. Perhaps not the best one he'd ever processed, but an idea.
The yellow bot stared at the pet skeptically. "I don't know, he's all... slinky! Seems kind of dull, too."
The nonplussed cat-like creature yawned spectacularly, eyeing the robots with what could almost pass for a glare. It was impressive how nearly intentional the behavior seemed.
QT speculated, mostly to himself, as Maker listened. "I mean, Dandy can be intriguing, sometimes he can almost make me think he's intelligent, but this one doesn't seem all that sharp. And really, I'm not sure that I can handle TWO pets. Just the one human is a lot more work than I'd expected!"
Dandy wandered over to peer in at the pet watching from inside the observation tank. As QT and Maker watched, the human reached out a hand to lean on the side as he made a grimacing snarl at the Betelgeusian. The cat creature bounced up on its back legs and batted at the tank wall, swishing its tail in playful agitation as it slapped at the spot where the man's appendage had rested. Startled, Dandy fell back in a heap on his backside.
"We'll, you certainly wouldn't want another one that would be more intelligent than he is," the shopkeeper mused as the human jumped up at smack back at the tank side. From inside the tank, the long-tailed alien jumped to bat at each spot that the human touched. The Betelgeusian seemed to find it great fun, but Dandy was becoming agitated. QT gave a long-suffering groan. "I'm not sure Dandy even counts as intelligent most of the time, but point taken."
Hearing his name, the human paused in pulling at the sleeves of his jacket, looking up at QT with an almost curious expression. His robotic owner interceeded to rescue the clothing, earning a giggle from Maker.
"It's so cute how so many robots like their pets to wear clothing. I never would have thought you the type before we met, QT." As the cleaner babbled excuses about his apparently odd habit, the other robot displayed a knowing grin on her display. "It's not all that weird. In fact, it's pretty popular to dress living things and take them around with you. Let's get back to business, though. I'll give you today's advertised price if you decide to keep this fellow after the trial," the salesbot hedged, waving at the cat-like creature that was now watching them intently, probably anticipating a treat of some sort. "What do you say?"
QT stared up at the Betelgeusian, considering his budget as well as his living companion's quality of life. Maybe a trial would be just the thing to see if this 'friend' idea had any merit without making a serious commitment to it. "Well.. I suppose that sounds alright. I don't make any promises, though."
Maker gave a cheer, moving to collect their order and arrange transport of their new 'crew member'. As he and Dandy waited for the paperwork to be delivered, QT reached to straighten Dandy's sleeves. The human looked back and forth between his robotic owner and the curious new creature that had caught his attention.
"Sometimes," QT sighed to his companion, "I wonder what it would be like if you flesh-creatures were intelligent enough to speak. What sorts of conversations would we have? Science? Philosophy?"
Dandy, spotting the Selaa females once again, abruptly began to preen; making the little robot groan in consternation. "Surely you'd have more on your mind than females and food! Honestly!"