Warning loooonnng note ;-) So, I feel like I have to clear the air a little. Let's start with the easy questions, shall we?
Did they have unprotected sex? - No, while Christian didn't use a condom, Ana is taking the pill since her teenage years for medical reasons, as mentioned in chapter 5 or 6.
Will Ana get pregnant? - No, with everything that is going on a baby really does not fit into the story right now.
And now on to a more complicated topic.
Did he rape her? - In my opinion no, and it was not my intention to make it look like he did, but maybe I wasn't clear enough on that in the last chapter. Ana wanted to have sex with him, what she was trying to tell him was that she is still a virgin, so that he would take things slower. Had she struggled against him, pushed him away or done anything to make it clear she didn't want him, he would have stopped (and just to make that clear, I'm not blaming Ana now. Christian behaved like an asshole and worse). Even in this story Christian is not twisted enough to rape Ana, but I do apologize if it came across that way, because as the author of the story I should have made that clearer for all of my readers. If you look back, the way he grabbed her and kissed her is the exact same way he has done in chapter one, only this time they didn't have an audience, so he took things further.
I do realise that I have upset many readers with the last chapter and that was not my intension, so I do apologize for that as well.
Another thing that I want to address here is that I have not only gotten a huge respond in reviews for the last chapter, but also in pm's. Some were really upset with the chapter and the way I have portrait Christian, but again, I understand that and have replied to almost every pm I got, and if I have missed one I'm sorry, but there were just so many messages. A couple of people however thought that the last chapter was so disgusting, that they decided to report the story, which is one of the reasons I have tried to get this chapter done as quickly as possible. So, if the story disappears from your alert or favorite lists it probably got deleted... if that happens I'm sorry but I won't post it here again.
Lastly, there is the question of a HEA and if Ana will date someone else - To be completely honest, I'm not sure where this is going. As a huge Ana and Christian fan I want them to end up together, but if at any point I feel like it just can't happen I might let them have a different kind of HEA where they not end up as a couple, but still both happy.
As for Ana dating someone else, okay I am going to make a confession now, I'm itching to have Ana date Elliot, but this will make things only more complicated. So, I leave it up to you my dear readers. Read this chapter and leave me a review with your vote on Ana and Elliot. I count your votes before I start to write the new chapter on sunday and what ever gets the majority of votes will happen. And maybe while you're at it, let me know if you want a HEA for Ana and Christian as a couple or as friends. I leave the choice up to you...
Christian
Getting out of the elevator into my penthouse I head directly into my study and start to pace. What have I done? She didn't lie, I got this all wrong... if there was ever a doubt that I end up in hell one day, now it's a given. I basically forced myself on her and she was a virgin ... a fucking virgin. I know I should go back to her apartment and talk to her somehow try to make it up to her...
Hah, make it up to her? What do you plan to do, Grey? That was her first time and you ruined it and left her on the fucking kitchen floor because you are a fucking coward who is too afraid to face the music... That little voice in my head tells me and suddenly the enormity of what I have done to Ana, not just today, but ever since she came back from Europe comes crashing down on me and I just manage to grab the wastebasket before I double over and empty the contents of my stomach into it.
Sinking to the floor I lean against my desk and remember Ana's words. ...for someone who prides himself with the ability of being good at reading people you are doing a piss poor job at it...
Truer words have never been spoken. I'm not only the biggest asshole in this world. But also the greatest idiot of all times. She lied to me, that fucking bitch lied to me and I was dumb enough to believe her and now I will never be able to make it up to Ana. In just 6 months I went from being a man with hope to a man who has lost all hope of a future with the woman he loves and it's all my fault, my own stupidity and Elena's malignity...
-Flashback 6 months earlier-
Sitting at the breakfast bar and having dinner with Elena, I mentally go through my plans for later this evening. Today is the day. Today I will finally speak to Ana. For the last year I have struggled with myself. I didn't think that I am good enough for her and I could never ask her to become a part of my lifestyle. I have known her all my life, she is pure and innocent, everything that is good and she never even had a boyfriend. But more so, I could never hurt her. The thought is abhorrent to me.
So, I struggled with those feelings inside me when ever I saw Ana. My decision to give up my lifestyle and figure out if I can function without it was finally made 6 months ago. It was a saturday morning and I had dismissed my last sub the week before. And when I woke up I was already in a piss poor mood, knowing that Gail was visiting her sister and I had to go out for breakfast. So I got ready for the day and just when I left my bedroom I heard music coming from the kitchen and the smell is food in lingering in the air.
I walk up in the kitchen and there she is. Ana. She is dressed in jeans shorts and a camisole, her hair pulled into a high ponytail and she is cooking.
"Ana?" I ask because I had no idea that she would be here, usually she stays over during the week, if she has to stay late at her college, but for obvious reasons she never stayed here during the weekends.
"Hi, sorry. I know we agreed that I would call and ask if it is okay for me to sleep here, but it was already after midnight and didn't want to wake you by calling that late."
"It's okay, did you learn late again?"
"I tried, the learn group that I had escalated into a party with tons of alcohol and while I was sitting in a corner trying to get my essay ready some drunken idiot threw up all over my laptop. That's when I decided to leave. Do you think your IT guy can get the files from my laptop it's not working anymore and the smell is disgusting."
"Sure, I'll call him after breakfast, he can come here and safe your files, do you need a new laptop?"
"No, I'll buy one on my way home, I just need my files or else I'm screwed. I guess that teaches me to safe my essays and other college stuff on a flash drive just to be safe. Oh, I wasn't sure but is omelette and some cut fruit for breakfast okay?"
"Perfect, do you want to stay here and learn?" I ask and she smirks.
"Is that your way of asking me if I want to cook for you until Gail is back so you don't have to live on cold cuts and take out for the rest of the weekend?" she asks laughing and pretend to pout.
"Well, maybe, besides you are not the worst company in the world."
"Oh, you can do better than that if you want me to cook for you, maybe even my special mac and cheese." She grins and she knows that I would do just about anything for her to cook this particular dish for me, what she doesn't know is that I would do just about anything for her anyway.
"Fine, you are the best company in the world and I'm even going so far as to promise to watch one of that awful movies you like so much with you, if you stay and cook mac and cheese for me."
And so she stayed the weekend and it was the best weekend of my life. After that I realised, that this is what I want, I want to spend every day for the rest of my life with Ana, even if it would mean that I had to give up the lifestyle that gave me control and focus. At first it wasn't easy, I felt out of control and having a sub was my coping mechanism, that was until I learned to focus on my new goal, which is Ana.
So now, after 6 months I am ready. Maybe I would have waited longer, but she will leave for Europe in 4 days and I can't let her go. So, tonight is the night. Fuck me, I was never that nervous, if she tells me that she doesn't have the same feelings for me then I will be crushed. Mia sometimes hinted that I should ask Ana on a date, so this is my only inkling as to how Ana feels...
"Christian, are you even listening to me?" Elena's voice pulls me back to the now and I look at her.
"I'm sorry, Elena I was deep in thoughts, what were you saying?"
"I was telling you that I have found the perfect sub for you she..." I hold my hand up to stop her. Christ, she is annoying. Trying to get me a new sub as if I couldn't find a new sub alone if that was what I wanted. Well, I might as well tell her now to put an end to this.
"Elena I am not interested in finding a new submissive, in fact, I am no longer interested in the lifestyle at all." hearing me say this she gasps audible.
"You are joking right?"
"No, the woman I want to be with is not part of the lifestyle and I am not going to drag her into it, she is better than that."
"And who would that woman be?"
"You'll see." I look at my watch and realise that it is already after 8 in the evening, so I have to leave if I want to see Ana today.
"I know I am being rude, Elena, but I have to leave now. Please, finish your meal without me." before she can say anything I get up and leave my penthouse. Taking my R8 I only make one stop at a flower shop where I buy the biggest bouquet of red roses I can get and continue to drive to Bellevue until I arrive at her parent's home.
Shit, this is it, either I end up being the happiest son of a bitch in a couple of minutes or I end up ruining our friendship. I guess there is only one way to find out. So, I take the flowers get out of my car and ring the doorbell. After a couple of minutes later it is her dad who opens.
"Christian, what are you doing here this late, are those for me?" he smirks and points his head to the flowers in my hands.
"Good evening Ray, actually I am here to speak to Ana, is she home?"
"I guess she really didn't call anyone." he murmurs.
"Called, why?"
"You know how upset Ana was after her fall out with Mia and Kate. She tried to talk to them yesterday and it must have gone wrong. Anyway today she came to Carla and I and told us she would be leaving today. I'm sorry Christian, but Ana is already on the plane to Madrid."
For a moment I feel like all the air has left me. Fuck, I'm too late, she is already on her way to Europe.
"You okay son? Want to come in and sit for a moment?"
"No, thank you, Ray. It's late, I should probably go home." I turn around get back into my car and just drive back home. Damn it, at any other time I would have just gotten my jet ready and followed her to Europe, but I'm in the middle of a deal that can either break or make GEH, there is no way I can leave Seattle for at least another two weeks.
Fuck, why didn't she call me? I thought we were friends, wasn't I even important enough for a simple phone call?
Once I'm back home I'm so pissed all I want is to have a drink, but to my great annoyance the first thing I see when I get into my penthouse is Elena sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine.
"Why are you still here?" I snap
"Well look at you, I guess it didn't go as you expected"
"No" I hiss and get myself a tumbler of whisky.
"Did she say no to you? Honestly Christian, if ..."
"She didn't say shit Elena, she has left the country for a trip to Europe. She wasn't supposed to leave for another four days and now she is gone." I mutter and down the whisky in gulp.
"Europe, oh my god, are you talking about Ana? Carla's daughter?" Fuck, and now she knows...
"Yes."
"Oh darling, that girl is not right for you. She ... oh well, I shouldn't talk about it." Elena says and now my interest is piqued.
"Talk about what?"
"This stays between us Christian. As you know Carla is a dear friend of mine and she would never forgive me if she knew I told anyone."
"Told anyone what, Elena. Spit it out, you know I'm not a patient man!"
"Ana, I don't know how to put this in a nicer term, but the girl is a slut. Carla and Ray are desperate to hide it from everyone. One day Carla finally confided in me because she couldn't take it anymore. She had to put her on the pill when Ana was just 15, after ... " Elena stops and looks deep in thoughts for a moment.
"Do you remember when Ana threw up all over principal at her middle school graduation?"
"Yes, why?"
"Morning sickness, she was pregnant at 14! Right after graduation Carla told everyone she would take Ana on a mother daughter trip to California, in reality the girl had an abortion. Carla hoped that would have taught Ana a lesson not to get involved with boys, but she kept doing it. I have to say, she is a smart girl, no one would ever believe that she could be like that. She plays the role of the little innocent girl very well, I guess that is why so far no one has figured it out. But Christian, as your friend I just have to warn you. I would hate for her to hurt you and that is what she will do if given the chance. Carla begged her to settle down and find a nice boyfriend, do you know what Ana told her?"
"No" fuck, this can't be true. Elena must be lying, Ana is pure and innocent, none of this can be true. Wouldn't Cooper know? Shit, what if it is true, after all Elena has never lied to me and she has helped me so much. I don't know what to believe.
"She told Carla and I quote : 'Mom, having a boyfriend would be like having the same food for every meal, why stay with one when I can have it all' isn't that terrible, Christian?"
"Why does no one know? Wouldn't Carla have told my mom and Cooper, why doesn't he know."
"Christian, don't be stupid. Had Grace known what kind of girl Ana is, do you think she would have let her anywhere near Mia? And once people would have noticed that Grace was against Ana and Mia being friends the rumors would have started. And her brother. My god Christian, be real. That boy has a mean temper almost worse than yours, he would have made a scene whenever Ana would have even stand next to a man and that in turn would have also caused rumors. Ray and Carla are trying to protect her from public humiliation and of course no one wants to admit that the own daughter turned out to be that way."
"I can't believe that she is like that. Not my Ana."
"Christian, please open your eyes. This girl is playing a role, the saint in front of all her friends and family and as soon as they turn their back on her she opens her legs for anyone who crosses her path. Of course, if that is what you want..."
"No, she can't be like that."
"Fine, you don't have to believe me, I am just trying to help you. I don't want you to get hurt, darling. I know someone, a PI. He can follow her through Europe, I guess it won't take long until she has the first man come to her room. I will give him a call and he will be on the next plane."
"Alright, hire him. If this is really true, then I want to see proof."
-End of Flashback-
And that's when everything went down the drain. I received pictures of men coming and leaving Ana's room. Saw Ana hugging some of them, saw pictures of her wearing next to nothing in a club and was told how Elena's PI had to step in at multiple occasions or else Ana would have ended up having sex in public and I started to believe it. Still I kept a last bit of hope until the day she came home. I told myself maybe Elena was wrong, maybe there was a simple explanation, maybe if I would send Ana to see a gynecologist he would tell me she is still a virgin or I don't know just give me any reason to believe that Elena was wrong.
Instead Ana got all defensive and didn't tell me who those guys were the day she came back and that was the day I finally believed Elena. I swallowed her lies and treated Ana so poorly, damn it. I will never be able to redeem myself. Not only did I insult her at any given chance, I also turned Cooper against her by showing him those pictures. And when she finally told us the truth, because now I have to believe that those guys really are music teachers, I didn't believe her.
Shit, it seemed like such a stupid lie at the time. Everyone who knows Ana knows that she would go a long way to avoid being in the center of attention. For her to want to surprise her parents by singing for them in front of a crowd, that just seemed like such a stupid lie. Now, I know the only thing stupid was me. And tonight, god damn it, she told me she is a virgin and again I didn't believe her.
I feel sick to my stomach thinking about what I have done. Shit, I have to talk to her and I have to do it now. Man up, Grey. No matter what will happen you deserve it and worse!
I get up and head back to the elevator pressing the call button until the doors open. Outside Ana's apartment I take a deep breath and knock. I wait and wait and ... wait. Nothing, I knock again and three more times, but nothing happens. She has to be home, where would she go this late? It's after 11 in the evening. I knock again and lean my forehead against the door.
"Please Ana, I know you are home. You don't have to let me in, but please just talk to me. I know I will never be able to make this up to you, but I need to try. Please, please say something, tell me that you hate me, anything, just say something" I beg hoping that she is on the other side of the door listening. I don't do begging, but for her I will. I would do anything to make her forgive me. "Please, Ana, just one word, say something I'm begging you."
"Excuse me?" I turn around when I hear a female voice and see a young woman in her mid twenties standing just outside her apartment.
"Miss Steele is not home. Her brother stopped by about 30 minutes ago and she left with him."
"Her brother?"
"Well, I just assumed he is her brother, nice young man, tall well built, late twenties would be my guess. He helped her move in and visits her here. I think she called him Elliot."
"I see, thank you" I mutter. At least she is safe. Damn it, Elliot told me I am dead wrong about Ana and I didn't believe him. Why did I chose to believe Elena and not him? I'm such a fucked up son of a bitch!
"Do you need a tissue?" the young woman asks and I frown. "Well umm you are crying" she stutters and I reach up at my cheeks feel the wetness and frown even more. I haven't cried since ... fuck, I can't even remember when I have cried the last time.
"No, thanks" I mutter clipped and walk towards the elevator. There is no sense in driving over to Elliot's tonight. Ana clearly left so she wouldn't have to see me and I can't blame her. This was the biggest fuck up in the history of the world and as I walk towards the elevator again I feel the anger inside of me rising.
I'm angry at myself, so much if possible I would like to give myself a caning for what I have done to Ana, but at the same time I am boiling with anger against Elena. For the longest time I saw her as my closest friend and she lied to me. She looked me in the eyes, knowing that I wanted to be with Ana, and she lied to me trying to make me hate Ana. Trying to keep me from confessing my feeling for her to her. And she did. Like the stupid fucker I am I believed her and all of her lies. At this point I wouldn't even be surprised if most of the pictures her so-called PI gave me were photoshoped to make it look worse than it really was.
In the elevator I press the button for the garage instead of the penthouse. It might be too late to see Ana for tonight, but it is not too late to confront Elena. She will have to answer me tonight. In the garage I had for my R8 and in my rage I'm at her house in almost half of the time than it would usually take. I doesn't bother to knock and just grab the spare key that is hidden in a fake rock in one of the flower beds near the entrance.
Once inside I make my way to the salon and freeze just outside when I see the scene in front of me. Elena is sitting in her Domme outfit on the sofa, the leash, which is attached to the collar of her submissive in one hand and a thick riding crops in the other hand. Her sub is naked on all fours on the floor balancing a plate with grapes on his back.
I know this fucked up scene, she is teaching him to keep still under all circumstances. If that poor fucker moves and a grape rolls of the plate or worse the plate falls to the floor she really lets him have it until he can't sit for a week. But what has me shocked is the submissive. I know Isaac and this is not him. This boy is a fucking teenager. God damn it, she swore to me that she was not into kids, that I was special, because she wanted to help me so badly.
I want to yell at her, but instead I leave the house and contemplate to call the cops or get back inside and beat the shit out of her. And as I pace outside her house the realisation slowly kicks in. She is a pedophile, the woman I thought of as my dearest friend, the only person who I thought would really understand me, she is nothing but a sick and twisted pedophile and I was nothing, but one of her victims. She used me, controlled me even after our relationship ended and I have let her.
For the second time in one day I find myself throwing up, this time into one of the flower beds. Once my stomach is now completely empty I reach for my phone. Fuck her, I'm calling the cops, that boy is in his teens, lets see how she is going to weasel her way out of that one.
I'm just about to dial 911 when I feel a hand on my shoulder.
"Put the phone away, son" I turn around and stare at my father.
"Dad, what are you doing here."
"Give me your car keys, Christian. You are in no state to drive, let's go before she notices us here." he says and I have don't know what else to do so I hand him my keys and follow him to my car. Once we are on the road I realise we are not going to my parent's home.
"Where are we going, Dad?"
"My office, we have a lot to talk about, Christian." he says his gaze fixed on the road, but deep down I know that he knows. Funny enough, I don't care anymore. For the longest time it was my greatest fear that my family would find out about my lifestyle and my relationship with Elena, but after today and all that has happened and what I know now, I simply don't care anymore. I have already reached my lowest point, there is nothing that could make things worse anymore.
Neither of us speaks until we reach the building which houses his office and he locks the door behind us once we are inside.
"Sit down, Christian" he mutters and hands me a bottle of water from the small fridge in the bar, in one corner of his office.
"Christian, I'm going to be honest with you. I know about you and Elena, I know about the lifestyle she has lured you into. I know that you stayed in the lifestyle, but no longer practise it. I know that you are a silent partner in Elena's salon business and I know that it was her who gave you the money to start your company. But there is one thing I don't know and I need to know. When did I fail you, son? When did I fail as a father, so you didn't feel like you could come to me and tell me what Elena is doing to you? I could have helped you, Christian. I would have moved heaven and earth to make sure she would never come anywhere near you again."
I stare at my father. He blames himself? He thinks this is his fault? It's not. It's my fault.
"Dad, this is not your fault. I wanted it, I was out of control and Elena showed me a way to cope with my anger, a way to focus and in the end take control myself. Or at least I thought she did, until tonight. Fuck, Dad she is a freaking pedophile. There was a boy, he was a teenager, she promised me she wasn't a pedophile, that I was her one exception to the rule, because she wanted to help me, but the boy..."
"The boy is 18, there is nothing we can do about that. It's not illegal."
"How do you know?"
"I have someone following her, for the last two weeks. Someone confided in me about Elena and ..."
"Ana" I interrupt him.
"Don't blame her Christian, that girl would walk over broken glass for you and that is why she came to me, to protect you and make sure that I would find a way to take Elena down without hurting you in the process. Once I had the first results I told Ana it was too dangerous for her to be involved. Elena is a dangerous woman, she nearly drowned Ana ..."
"Oh my god" I mutter. Fuck, I almost forgot about that. Elena told me Ana tried to drown her and of course, like the fucking puppet I was I believed Elena and called Ana a liar.
"Don't worry, son. I saw the CCTV video file Ana has given me. That girl can hold her own, Elena looked terrified when Ana was done with her, who would have thought that such a tiny person could be this terrifying. Anyway, I need you to keep your feet still Christian."
"No, she used me Dad. She fucking used me like a puppet and I want her to pay for it." I yell and slam my fist on the table.
"And she will, Christian. But this is not just about her being a pedophile, she is involved in human trafficking. We have to be careful or she will find out that we are on to her and she will run. It will take only a few more weeks to get all the information we need to present the case to the FBI. In the meantime I need you to stay calm. You don't have to talk to her, but for the love of god do not try to deal with her on your own, she has videos and pictures of you on her computer that could ruin your reputation forever, not to mention the public humiliation you would have to endure. I am trying to keep you out of this, so let me deal with this."
"What videos and pictures?" I ask feeling sick yet again.
"From the time when you and her were intimate."
"Have you seen them?"
"I have seen them and burned them, my PI needs some more time to find a way to delete them without her knowledge. This is one of the reason why I need you to keep calm. If you piss her off, she might decide to blackmail you with them or humiliate you by leaking some of them to the media."
"Does mom know?"
"No, and if I can help it, she will never find out. It will hit her hard enough to find out what her so-called friend was doing all those years, she doesn't need to live with that, too."
"Thank you Dad."
"You don't have to thank me, son. I would do anything to protect my children, but I need you to promise me one thing. No more secrets. I am your father and I don't ever want to discover things like that about you after I had to hire a PI again. I would never judge you. If this lifestyle is what makes you happy, so be it. I'm not claiming to understand it, but I have done enough research to understand that as long as it happens between consenting adults, there is nothing wrong with it."
"I don't need the lifestyle anymore Dad and after everything I discovered tonight, it has lost every last bit of appeal it might had to me. All I want is for Elena to pay for what she has done. If I have to keep my feet still for a few more weeks I'll do it, but I want her to pay."
"And she will, I promise you that she will pay for what she has done, but there is one more thing I need to know. Who else knows that you were involved with Elena?"
"A couple of people from the community, but they wouldn't tell, because it would mean that they had to expose that they are into the lifestyle, too. The only other person is Linc."
"Linc, Elena's ex-husband?"
"Yes, he caught us in bed, after that we ended things, but don't worry about him. I own enough stock in Lincoln Timber to ruin him if he doesn't keep his mouth shut and he knows it, too."
"Good, now let's go, it is getting late, do you want to stay the night at Bellevue?"
"No, thanks Dad, I want to go home." I need to go home, so I can try to talk to Ana as soon as she is back home tomorrow. From now on, there are only two priorities in my life. Number one: Find a way to get Ana to forgive me. And number two: make sure that Elena's life will be living hell until the day she finally goes to hell for good...
If the story doesn't get deleted the next update will be on monday...