Sorry, a little later than promised...
Ana
The next day I wake at 8 in the morning. It's sunday and I don't have any plans for today, so that will give me enough time to think about Christian and what to do with him. I want to believe that he is sorry, but at the moment I'm just having a hard time to find any compassion for him. I hope he gives me some time, though knowing Christian, I know that patience is not exactly one of his strengths.
I decide to let it go for the morning and instead I get ready to take my dogs out and I'm just about to leave my apartment when my landline rings.
"Ana Steele"
"Miss Steele, this is Sam from the front desk. I have a Mister Cooper Steele here who wants to see you, do you want me to let him up?" Great, so instead of dealing with Christian, I have to deal with my brother now.
"No, I was about to leave anyway. Please tell him I will be in the lobby in two minutes. Thank you Sam."
"Of course, Miss Steele, have a good day."
"You, too" I mutter and hang up.
Two minutes later I get out of the elevator and see Cooper standing by the front desk with a huge flower bouquet. What is it with men, that the think buying someone flowers will give them any credit points? And as my brother he should know that I don't like cut flowers, after a couple of days they end up in the trash, doesn't that say anything about how much flowers are worth as a form of apology? After a couple of days they are nothing but garbage, if he wanted to give me something why not buy a potted plant, at least they last much longer.
"Hey Ana, I ... um... Christian called me and ..." oh fuck me, so he didn't even come to his senses alone?
"Cooper, I am not in the mood to deal with you right now, please leave me alone."
"Ana, please I am your brother?" Urgh! He really wants to go there?
"Cooper, honestly, you didn't seem to give too much about the fact that I am your sister when you decided to believe Christian and not me." I snap and he sighs.
"Look he had pictures and..."
"And nothing, if I would hear something about you and see some pictures and you would tell me it's not like it seems, I would believe you. That is what I expected from you, instead you decided to believe Christian who treated me like shit ever since I came back from Europe."
"I am sorry Ana, I really am sorry. But can't you understand me at least a little bit? I am your brother and hearing that you are sleeping around isn't exactly something that makes me happy."
"Cooper, honestly? Maybe it is time for you to over think your own behavior before you judge anyone, because I know that Elliot and you are the biggest man whores in Seattle, but I never judged you about that. Do you even know how many women you've slept with?" I know I am getting all defensive now, but he pisses me off.
"That's different Ana ..." I hold my hands up to stop him, I really can't listen to that crap anymore.
"You know what Cooper, I'm not going to listen to your shit, if that is what you understand as an apology than I am not accepting it and now I have to take my dogs out." I try to walk past him, but he grabs my arms and holds me back.
"Wait, please Ana. You know I hate it when you are mad at me. I was wrong, I know that just tell me what I have to do for you to forgive me." he says but I can't answer. He is holding my arm so I can't leave and I can't even step back because right behind me is the wall. Oh no ... not now ... please not now ... he can't witness me having a panic attack.
"Jesus, Ana what is wrong?" Cooper's voice sounds worried, but I feel my stomach churn and when he grabs my shoulders to get my attention he makes it even worse and I throw up all over his shirt.
"Fuck! Damn it ... someone call an ambulance" Cooper yells as I sink to the floor and rest my head on my knees somehow trying to get my breathing under control.
"Ana please, say something what is going on?" he begs, but I can't tell him the truth.
"Stomach bug, sorry" I lie as my breathing calms slowly and I hope he buys my lie.
"Okay, do you want to get checked in the hospital?"
"No, I need some fresh air. Sorry about your shirt."
"Yeah, well I guess I am going up to Christian's and borrow something from him to wear. Do you want me to help you to your apartment first?"
"No, I need to walk my dogs. Just go, I'm fine." he scowls at me as I say this.
"I can't leave you like this!"
"Yes, you can. I am fine. I just walk around the corner with them so they can do their business, I send you a text once I am back in my apartment, okay?"
From the look on his face I know he won't let me go. "Look, just give me the dogs, I take them with me up to Christian's, change then take them out and bring them back to your apartment. Please, you look like shit, just go to your apartment and rest for a while."
I sigh. "Okay, you won" I mutter and he helps me to my feet, I hand him the leashes and we get into the elevator.
"How long do you want me to walk your dogs?"
"Depends on how long they need to find a spot where they want to poop, oh here" I hand him the small bags and he frowns.
"What are they for?"
"You have to pick their poop up and put it in a trash can." I have to giggle when his face scrunches up.
"Just do it, and make sure they don't try to eat something that's lying on the ground and don't take the leashes off, I don't know if they will listen to you." I tell him as the elevator stops at my floor.
"Got it, now go get some rest."
In my apartment I head straight into the bathroom and brush my teeth, before I get back into my livingroom and rest on the sofa for a while. Thank god my brother believed my lie. I already decided to tell my family about my panic attacks, but not now and I want to tell my parents first, after their anniversary.
30 minutes later there is a knock at my door and I let Cooper with my dogs and he is carrying a shopping bag.
"Christian wanted me to give you this. He had Gail put some things for you together, you know for your stomach bug." he says and unpacks the bag.
"It's some herbal tea, crackers, ginger ale and chicken soup. The soup is frozen, but Gail told me you can just heat it in the microwave. He also asked me to tell you that if you need anything and you don't want to call him, you can call Gail and she will come here and help you and he wants you to send Gail a text this evening so he knows you are okay. Better do it, he is freaked out, I guess by now he has called Grace to check on you."
"Okay, well ... thanks for taking my dogs out for a walk. I would like to be alone now."
"Sure. So, are we good again?" he asks and I snort. "No, we are not good again. Do you have any idea how much you have hurt me by not believing me ... I'm not sure if I can forgive you anytime soon. So, please leave me alone. I'll let you know when I'm ready for us to talk this out, but it's not now."
Now he sighs. "You know Ana, the one thing that I really hate about you is that you can't just accept an apology. You always hold a grudge if someone fucks up, as if one tried to kill you. Why do you have to do this?" he snaps. Yep, I can hold a grudge and my brother has a short temper this is not a good mix.
"You want to know why? It's because I love my family and friends more than life itself and that is why I am hurt and angry when the people I love the most doubt me, betray me or hurt me. And before we really start to argue now I want you to leave!"
"Fine have it your way, but I hope one day you grow up and don't act like sulky child anymore" he hisses and I can almost see the steam coming out of his ears as he turns around and leaves my apartment, slamming the door shut with a loud thud.
Yeah right, I'm the one who has to grow up, my ass!
6 days later - still Ana
If the last six days have taught me anything, than it is that I need to come clean about my panic attacks sooner rather than later. Even though I didn't have another one after throwing up on Cooper, I hate that I had to lie to him and because he told Christian I had to lie even more. Christian must have been really worried, because first he had asked Grace to check on me and for the next three days he had Gail bring food to my apartment and take my dogs out for me. I told her she didn't have to do that, but she insisted and told me I needed to rest for a while, so I could be sure my stomach bug is really over.
And of course it made me think a lot about Christian. I'm not sure if he did this because he feels guilty about the way he treated me or if he really cares about me. 6 months ago I would have said he just wants to make sure I am fine, now ... I don't know. On Thursday he send me a text, asking me if I wanted to have lunch with him, but I just send a simple 'No' back. Maybe if I give it a little more time I will be able to talk to him without wanting to slap him.
Mia and Kate asked me to go clubbing with them tonight, but I don't feel like clubbing. I'd rather spend a relaxed evening at home and I found a recipe I want to try this evening, so I decide to go shopping at Pike Place Market in the morning. Because it is not raining and I could use a little exercise, I decide to take my bike instead of my car to get to the Market. I love my bike, it has this vintage look, is soft pink and has a wicker basket in the front, where I can put my groceries in. Besides, today my bike even matches my outfit as I am wearing a cardigan in the same color.
On the market I buy the shrimps and sausages I need as well as some other things and I am just about to leave the Market when I hear someone call my name. I turn around and see that it is Gail.
"Hi Gail" I smile at her and we hug briefly.
"Hello Ana. You look good, do you feel better now?" She asks and I want to cringe, oh man, now I have to lie again.
"Yes, a lot. Thanks again for looking after me and taking my dogs out."
"You don't have to thank me. I ... I know this is not my place to say, but Ana even though I don't know what happened between you and Mister Grey, he is really sorry. I have never seen him like this. He is beside himself staring at his phone all day and looking like a beaten dog every time he gets a call or text and it is not you. You were always friends Ana, maybe you could give him a chance?"
Great, I know Gail feels like a mother when it comes to Christian, but I really don't want to talk to her about this.
"Look Gail, a lot has happened between Christian and I. It's not that easy, I will talk to him, just not now. I need some time to figure out what to do."
She nods, but it's clear that she is not happy with my answer. "Of course, Ana. Take your time. Well, I have to go now, do you want me to give you a ride back to Escala?"
"No, I have my bike and the weather is nice, so I'll be fine. Bye Gail."
An hour later I am back at Escala, take a shower, change into a white maxi dress with an open back and because I feel like styling my hair instead of just putting it into a bun, I use my curling iron to create big curls.
A little later Elliot stops by. "Hey Ana. I wanted to ask if I could have your dogs until tomorrow" he says as we sit down in my livingroom.
"Why?" I ask a little confused.
"Tom, one of the guys who work for me told me about the Magnuson Dog Park here in Seattle and he swears that there are lots of hot chicks with dogs, so I thought I check it out." he grins and I laugh.
"So you want to use my dogs to get laid?"
He gives me a big boyish grin."Why not?"
"Fine, what ever you can have them until tomorrow, but if you lose Angel or Ace because you are distracted by some chick I will never talk to you again, those two are my babies!" I warn him and I am not kidding, I would go crazy if something would happen to my dogs.
"Hey, you can trust me. So, I've heard you haven't talked to Christian so far?"
"No, I'm just not ready. Is Cooper still sulking?"
"Yep, man he really pisses me off lately, he is stubborn as shit and everyone else is wrong besides him."
"Tell me about it" I mutter and roll my eyes. If it is up to me, Cooper can stew until hell freezes over. I know we will start to talk again eventually, but for now I don't want to see him, not after the way he left here last sunday.
"About Christian again, I don't want to get in the middle of this and I seriously hate how he treated you, but maybe just try to listen to him ... you'll never know, maybe you understand him better after you do."
"Maybe ... I'll go and get you what Ace and Angel will need." I say quickly and pack their bowls, food, leashes and some toys and treats into a bag.
After Elliot has left my vocal coach stops by for my daily lesson and around five I go into the kitchen to start dinner. I've decide to try a recipe for Cajun shrimps and sausage with pasta. I've found a good white wine to go with the meal and I hope my meal is going to be as delicious as it looks in the picture in the magazine where I found the recipe.
I've just finished to chop everything I need for the meal when someone knocks at my door. I open and gasp.
"Mom, what is wrong?" I ask and she hugs me and starts to sob. "Oh my goodness Ana, you won't believe what just happened"
"Is Dad okay, is it Anya or Cooper?"
"No, it's Elena." she says and I lead her into the livingroom and we sit down.
"What happened with Elena, Mom?"
"You know your Dad is away on business until Tuesday, so Elena and I wanted to have a night out. We met in the city and went shopping first, then there was some issue at the Esclava salon around the corner from here. So, we went there and I stayed in the waiting area and had a glass of champagne. And then it happened... my god Ana, it was terrible." my mom stops to blow her nose and shakes her head sadly.
"The police came in, they asked for Elena and she ran. Can you believe it Ana? She left through the back entrance and ran from the police. I was shocked, I mean why would she do this? I asked them why they wanted to talk to her, but of course they wouldn't tell me. But Ana, I've heard them talk. They where talking about human trafficking, sexual abuse of a minor and money laundering." My mom starts to cry again and I hold her in my arms.
"I can't believe this Ana, she was one of my dearest friends and now she is most likely a criminal and worse a pedophile. Oh lord and I allowed her into my home and to be around my kids. Darling, has she ever tried something with you or your siblings?"
I look at my mom and I can't lie. I won't tell her about Christian, this is not my story to tell, but she has to see Elena for whom she really is.
"Not with me, I don't think young girls are her thing, but I overheard a couple of years ago that she tried to hit on Cooper when he was a teenager. He told her off and I decided not tell, you know boys talk and sometimes they make up stories about their mom's hot older friend ..."
I stop as my mom gets up and starts to pace. "Oh, this miserable whore! She better hope that the police finds her before I do. How dare she come into my home and try to seduce one of my children."
"Mom, please calm down. Come sit, why don't you stay here tonight. Dad is not home anyway, we can call Anya to come here, too and have a girls night. Let the police deal with Elena, she will get what she deserves."
"You wouldn't mind if I stay here tonight? I would love to stay, being alone at home without your father isn't something I like anyway, but I don't want to be alone tonight."
"You can stay until Tuesday if you like." I offer and she hugs me. "Thank you sweetheart, I'm going to call Anya, I don't want her to be alone at home. Imagine Elena shows up" My mother shudders at the thought, takes her phone out and dials Anya's cellphone.
"Oh, this girl will be the death of me" My mom mutters after she has tried to call Anya's cell and the landline several times and Anya never answered the call.
While my mother tries it again, I start to worry. Anya always answers her phone, I can't even remember one time where she did not answer a call. This is just not like her and my mind starts to race.
What if Elena went off the deep end, she must know that it was me who set everything into motion. Hell, I've threatened her that day when she tried to drown me in the pool at my parent's house. What if she wants to get revenge by hurting someone I love like my baby sister?
I know Elena is most likely trying to get the hell away from Seattle, but what if not? Shit, after my mom tried ten more times I've had enough. I grab my phone and call the one person I know who can help me finding my sister quicker than anyone else.
He picks up after the first ring. "Ana, hi, I'm so glad you called me. Do you want to talk? I could come to your place right now or you can come up here and we can have dinner..."
"Christian, stop, please. I'm not calling because I want to talk. I ... I need your help."
"What do you need?"
"Look, my mom is here and she is completely beside herself, the police tried to arrest Elena while they were at the Esclava around the corner from here, but she escaped and is on the run now. So, my mom came here because my Dad is away on business and we can't get a hold of Anya. She is supposed to be at home, but she doesn't answer her phone or the landline. I'm worried, this is not like her. I know your security can do just about anything, so do you think they can track her down and get her here?"
"Yes, of course, wait a moment" he says and I hear him talk to someone, Taylor most likely and then he is back on the phone.
"Taylor is trying to track her cell phone and will bring her here. Is there anything else I can do to help you?" As he says that I look at my mom and she is about to completely freak out.
"Yes, actually I think my mom needs a drink and I only have wine or beer. Do you have something stronger, like whisky for her?"
"Sure, umm do you want me to send Gail down to you or can I come?" he sounds so hopeful and I know seeing another familiar face will help my mom keep it together.
"Okay, you can come here, but please I don't want to talk about what happened now."
"I won't, I promise. I'll be there in a minute." he hangs up and I go back to my mom.
"Christian has asked his security to find Anya. He will be here in a moment with a drink for you."
"Oh, thank god. I know it is probably nothing, but I'm beside myself Ana. How could I not notice what Elena is doing?"
"Mom, please Elena is a good actress, that is why you never noticed anything. Please sit, you pacing around here won't make anything better" I say just as I hear a knock at the door.
"That's Christian, I'll be back in a second." I walk to the door open and let Christian in.
"Ana I ... I wrote this for you. Read it when ever you want." he says and hands me an envelope.
"Okay, well ... umm my mom is in the livingroom, I get a tumbler for the whisky, do you want anything?"
"A water." I nod show him to the livingroom and get a tumbler for my mom and a glass of water for Christian, while I take a bottle of beer for myself. I need a drink to calm me down, but if I have a whisky, too I will probably be drunk after a few sips, so a beer is a safer choice for me.
When I come to the sofa where they are sitting I notice that the TV is on and they are both staring at the screen. Holy fuck, Elena has made the news. There is a TV station who is reporting that Elena is on the run. As I listen to what the news anchor is saying I feel sick. She is accused of sexual abuse of minors with seven different minors and she is linked to some missing person cases, they think she helped to kidnap young girls to sell them to human traffickers.
"Oh my goodness." My mother murmurs and I pour her a drink and hand it to her.
"Thank you, honey. Christian, have you heard anything from your security?"
"Yes, they tracked Anya's phone down, she is still in Bellevue but not at home. I told Taylor to bring her here immediately."
"Thank you, Christian you are such a sweetheart" my mom says and takes a sip of the whisky making her shudder.
"I can get you something else, Carla." Christian offers.
"No, it's fine. Exactly what I need right now to calm my nerves." she says and looks over to where I sit. "Oh, Ana darling, don't drink that beer out of the bottle, that is very unattractive, go get yourself a glass."
I shake my head amused when I get up to get myself a glass. I am twenty-two, have my own apartment, but still when my mom uses that particular tone I jump up and do what ever she tells me to do. When I return with the glass I see that Christian is smirking and my mom sees it, too.
"Don't smirk at her like that young man, she got this nasty habit from watching her brother, Elliot and you drinking beer straight from the bottle." my mom scolds him and I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.
"I guess that's right." he pouts, Christian does not like to be scolded, but he would never argue with my mother, just as I would never argue with Grace.
"Excuse me" Christian says as his phone rings and walks over to the kitchen to take the call.
"Do you see Christian often?" my mom asks.
"No, you know him, he is working so much he barely has any time."
"Ask him to stay for dinner, will you? I haven't seen him in a while and I really need some company to take my mind off Elena."
Again my moms tone makes it pretty obvious that I have no other choice. "Well, I better start cooking than" I mutter and get back into the kitchen. Christian is still on the phone, so I ignore him and start to cook.
"My mom wants you to have dinner with us" I tell him as he ends the call.
"I could come up with an excuse." he offers and I have to snort. He looks almost giddy with joy, because he knows as well as I do that my mom won't take no for an answer, so he can stay here for the rest of the evening.
"By all means, go and try to tell her that you won't stay for dinner."
"Ana, I can leave if that is what you want. I don't want to make things worse, so tell me what you want?"
"Just keep my mom company while I am cooking, I hope you like spicy food. Have you heard anything from Taylor?"
"No, so far nothing. My dad called me though."
"About Elena?"
"Yes, the police is looking for her and her accounts are frozen, so she probably does not have the means to leave the country. There is no more evidence that I was in any form of relationship with her other than the fact that I am a silent partner in her business. I know I'm in no position to ask you for anything Ana, but please don't say anything to my mother. Grace doesn't need to know. This is going to be hard on her as it is, I don't want her to blame herself for not noticing what was going on."
I lean against the kitchen counter and look at him. "Look Christian, I didn't tell Carrick because I wanted to out you. I was worried, because something about Elena really freaked me out. Believe it or not I was trying to help you. Telling Grace wouldn't help you or her for that matter. I love Grace, she is like a second mother to me, so I am not going to tell her anything, if you want to come clean that is your choice, but I did what I had to do, so for me this topic is dealt with."
"Thank you..." he says but is interrupted by my mom who is calling out for us to come into the livingroom.
"Mom, what is wrong?" I ask and she points to the TV. On the screen they are showing Elena's home and the police leading someone out of the house who is covered in a blanket, so all you can see are the persons bare feet, but just from looking at the size of the person it is clear that this is not a grown up.
"This is the second person they have led out of the house like this. My god, those kids can't be older than 14" my mom gasps and refills her tumbler. We all stare in horror at the screen as there are 4 kids or teenager in total being led out of the house. The news reporter also states that the police classified Elena as dangerous and that she could be armed, so if anyone was to see her they want the person to call the police and don't try to do something on their own.
"Taylor just send me a text. He has Anya in the car and they are here in 15 to 20 minutes. She went to the mall with some friends and was about to get her belly pierced." Christian says as he reads a text on his phone.
"What? Her belly pierced? Oh, that girl drives me insane, I told her no at least twenty times. Wait until I tell Ray, now she is grounded." My mom says completely exasperated. And I am not blaming her, Anya has a thing for piercings and so far she has each ear pierced four times and she secretly got her labial frenulum pierced, but my parents had her remove it the moment they saw it. If she keeps that up she will have more holes than a swiss cheese.
Now, I am actually glad that Christian is here, because he can calm my mother down, while I finish my cooking and I am just ready when I hear a knock at the door. I open and find Taylor with my sulking little sister.
"Thank you Taylor. Do you want to come in, Christian is staying for dinner."
"No, thank you Ana. I have a lot of work to do" he says and leaves.
"A belly piercing, really?" I ask my sister, but before she can answer my mom is there and Christian and I go back into the kitchen to give her them so privacy for the lecture I am sure Anya is getting right now.
"This looks very good" Christian says as I start to put the food on plates.
"It's Cajun shrimps and sausage with pasta. I found the recipe in a magazine and wanted to try it."
"Do you always cook such a huge amount of food for yourself?" he asks his tone of voice disapproving. Normally his tone alone would piss me off, but in this case it doesn't, because I know about his issues with wasted food and the fact that he almost starved as a young child locked in an apartment with his dead mother.
"Actually yes, I am not good at cooking just for one person. I usually use recipes for 4 persons. This way I can eat dinner one day, heat some of it up for lunch the next day and freeze the rest. And I know this might sound crazy, but to me food tastes better if you cook a larger amount of it." I shrug as I say this and nods appeased by my answer.
"I am going to put security on you and your family until Elena is found, Ana."
"Why?"
"Elena was very angry at you when she realised that you found out about us. Especially after the pool incident..."
"Where she tried to drown me first" I point out and he nods. "Yes, and if she feels like her back is against the wall, she will most likely try to get revenge. She is not stupid Ana, by now she has probably figured out that you talked to the police about her or did something to set this all into motion. I need to know that you are safe, so I will have someone watching you, I would appreciate it if you would cooperate with my security."
"What do you mean cooperate?" I ask, because if he wants me to have one of his security guys move in here until Elena is found, this is not going to happen.
"Elena can't get in here, so you are safe here, but you are not when ever you leave Escala, so it would be good if you could let them know your daily schedule, this way they just meet you in the garage or in the lobby and don't have to track your phone to follow you."
"Fine, I can do that. But I don't want someone breathing down my neck the entire time. And you better give me the phone number of the guy who is following me, because I don't always have a schedule and just go out if I feel like it."
As I am lying in my bed later that night, I actually feel a lot better. Even with all that happened, this day at least showed me that the Christian I have known for all my life is still there and has not disappeared completely while I was in Europe. I am still not ready to forgive him just yet, but at least I now think that it might be possible for me to forgive him. Maybe reading the letter he gave me will help, though it will have to wait until my Mom and Anya are back at home and I have some time to sit down alone and read it.
I am just about to fall asleep, when I hear Anya's voice who is sleeping in my bed with me while my mom is in the guest room.
"You know Ana, I always thought Christian is gay. Who would have thought that he has it bad for you, but he looked at you like a love-sick puppy all evening. Good night, love ya sis!"
"Love you, too" I mutter. Great how am I supposed to sleep when I have to think about the fact that Christian might be in love with me? It sounds completely preposterous, but maybe ... just maybe that is why he acted like a jealous dick all this time...
So Elena is on the run, Ana's brother turned out to be an arse and Ana slowly starts to entertain the thought that Christian might have feelings for her... next chapter will include Christian's letter ... if you have a minute, please leave a review :-)