I am going on vacations tomorrow, so there will be no update until the end of May...
Christian
I leave my bedroom as quietly as possible not wanting to wake Ana. It took me almost an hour to calm her down enough so she can get some sleep. Making my way into the great room I find Kate and Mia cuddled up on the sofa with Anya. Ray asked to get both his daughters here, so Elena can't get to them. I took Mia and Kate aswell, knowing that Anya would need someone to comfort her while I am making sure that Ana is alright.
"Any news?" Anya asks and I shake my head. Elliot is at the hospital with our Mom to wait with Ray and Carla until Cooper comes out of surgery. I have security in place to watch his room 24/7. There won't be any more fuck ups. Hell, Taylor better be here quickly to give me a full report or I might just fire everyone who was supposed to watch the party tonight.
"Do you think he is dead?" Anya sobs and I kneel in front of her and cup her face in my hands.
"Cooper is going to be fine Anya. He passed out from the shock, but he gained back consciousness before he went into surgery. They just have to remove the bullet and fix what ever was injured, but he is not going to die. Tomorrow afternoon I will take you and Ana to the hospital, so you can visit your brother, okay?"
"Okay, how is Ana?"
"She is sleeping now, she is going to be fine, too."
"Sir" I turn around when I hear Taylor's voice and point to my study. Fuck, he better have a really good excuse how Elena got on the property or his ass will be fired, too.
Once in my office I slam the door shut and stare at him. "Tell me, Taylor... how the fuck could this happen? Your team had one fucking job to do and that was to make sure that Elena motherfucking Lincoln couldn't come anywhere near Ana's parents home. And not only did she get in, she shot Ana's brother who is in the hospital now undergoing surgery to remove the bullet she left in him. Ana is in shock, her sister is a crying mess and I want fucking answers now!" I yell and he nods.
"Sir, it was not my team that failed, it were the cops. Elena shot them, we found their bodies in the sound. She must have used a silencer or else we would have heard the gun shots. The thing is, she must have help. There is no way she just shot them one by one and they didn't notice the others disappear. So for now we believe that she came in with boat."
Fuck, now that bitch has helped. Just fucking great. "Did they find her in the sound too?"
"No, Sir. She must have worn a bullet proof vest. When I shot her the bullet hit her back, but there was no blood, nothing. So, there is no other explanation for this. Best case scenario she drowned and we will never hear from her again, worst case scenario she somehow survived is recovering and waiting for another chance to harm Miss Steele." Looking at Taylor I know that he thinks the same thing I do. There is no way Elena drowned in the sound and until no one finds her body I won't believe it. This is exactly what she wants, for us to think that she is dead, so we let our guards down and that's when she will pop up again and try something.
"I want doubled security on everyone, I don't care how much it costs, I don't care how many men you have to hire, just get it done. Until I don't see Elena body I consider her still out there."
"Yes, Sir. May I speak freely?" I nod and he sighs. "This is a major fuck up, Sir. We need to figure out who could have helped that old bitch. It would be best to get Miss Steele out of the state, even better out of the country."
"I know, but christ, her brother just got shot and I don't think she will leave town until he is better and..." I stop when Kate comes in.
"Sorry, but we need your help Christian. Ana woke up and she wants to leave the apartment. I think she has a breakdown and..." I don't even listen until she is finished and run out of my study finding Mia and Anya trying to stop Ana from getting into the elevator.
"Ana...stop. Look at me... you can't leave. Elena is still out there somewhere, it's not safe." I tell her as I cup her face in my hands.
"But ... but I want her ... to find me. If she kills me... she will stop hurting the ones I love..." Ana sobs and I hold her in my arms. No way. I will never let that happen.
"Look at me, Ana. I am not going to let you do that. I will keep you and everyone else safe. I know I failed tonight, but it is not going to happen again. I have doubled the security and I will ask your parents to move into your apartment until Elena is found. As we have seen tonight it is too easy for Elena to get on their property, but Escala is safe. I will move my parents here too. I have another apartment on the 21st floor and if you want Kate can stay here too. It is going to be alright Ana, but never say that you want Elena to kill you... I couldn't survive it if anything would happen to you."
She looks at me and then just wraps her arms around me, holding onto me for dear life. "I don't want her to hurt anyone else because of me."
"She won't Ana. I am not going to let that happen. Come, do you want to wait with the rest of us in the great room for any news on Cooper?"
Ana nods so we sit together for another hours until my phone rings and I see that it is Elliot.
"Elliot, you are on speaker, how is Cooper?"
"They were able to remove the bullet and fix the artery that was injured. Carla and Ray are with him now. The doctor said he is going to make a full recovery, he just needs to stay for three or four days."
"Thank fuck for that. Has Dad arrived at the hospital?"
"Yes, he arrived here about 30 minutes ago after the police has left Carla's and Ray's property. Please tell me that bitch is dead."
"Sorry bro, no such luck... I am going to give you the details later. Please tell Carla and Ray that I want them as well as mom and dad to come to Escala. Bellevue is not safe. The waterfront makes it to easy for Elena to get in and she doesn't even stop at killing someone to get in."
"Will do. See you soon, bro."
All the girls decide to sleep in one guest room. I offered them to split up in two guest rooms, but I guess sleeping all in one bed is a girl thing and I am glad that Ana is not alone tonight. I wait for my parents, Elliot, Carla and Ray to arrive and thank God they agree that to stay at Escala is the safest choice right now. So I hand my parents the keys to the second apartment I own here while Ray and Carla will stay at Ana's place.
It's almost 4 in the morning when I finally get into bed and I know that my nightmares are going to prevent me from having a good nights sleep, but I close my eyes anyway and nearly drift off, but then I hear the door to my bedroom open.
"Christian? Are you awake?" I hear Ana whisper and sit up.
"Yes, do you need something?"
"Kate is snoring and Anya keeps kicking me in her sleep... and ... I ... can I sleep here with you?" she murmurs looking at her feet and I frown. I have never shared my bed with anyone in my life. But this is the woman I love and the prospect of holding her in my arms all night is really appealing to me. So, I lift the duvet and she hurries over to the bed and hops in next to me.
"Thanks... but if you don't want me here..." I stop her by pulling her closer and she snuggles into me.
"Good night, Christian" she yawns. We both fall asleep almost immediately and for the first time in my life I sleep for eight hours without any nightmares...
4 days later - Ana
"Do you need anything? I can get you more pillows or a blanket... maybe a snack or something to drink..."
"I'm fine Ana. Really, you have to stop this. It's just my shoulder and it's already healing. This is not your fault and you are my little sister, I would catch a bullet for you any day." Cooper says and I sigh and sit down next to him on the sofa in my livingroom. He was released from the hospital this morning and while Anya is staying with Mia, Carrick and Grace in Christian's second apartment Cooper is staying here with our parents. Elliot is still at the penthouse with me and Christian, only Kate went back to her apartment, but Christian has someone watching her.
I still feel guilty that this happened. Cooper got shot to protect me from Elena. That bitch! If I ever see her ugly face ever again I am going to kill her with my bare hands. If she wants to hurt me, so be it. But not my family. The police seems to be worthless when it comes to finding Elena. They talked to me and Cooper for hours, but honestly I can't remember a thing of what happened after Cooper got shot and it was Christian's security and not the police that found out that all this time Elena was hiding in the empty house down the street. She must have just used a rowboat to row over to my parents property. At least they found a boat without anyone in it on the sound, so that's their guess on how Elena came in. All the security footage showed nothing... fuck, I just want her found, preferably dead.
I never wished anyone ill, but I wouldn't lose sleep over Elena Lincoln's death.
"Hey... earth to Ana!" I hear Cooper's voice and look at him. "Daydreaming?"
"Yes, about painful ways to kill Elena. Do you think if I would skin her alive I could plea for self-defense?" I asks and he chuckles.
"You won't do anything. Let the police and Christian's team deal with her. All you have to do is stay at Escala until she is found. She can't come in here, so that means you are safe."
"Great, now I am the prisoner." I pout.
"At least it is a nice prison and your family is right here with you. Are you staying to have dad's famous chili?" he asks and I roll my eyes.
"Famous for giving me the shits, thanks but I'll pass on that one." I mutter and he starts to laugh.
"Oh man, that's great, now I finally know why you always disappear for the rest of the night whenever Dad makes chili for us."
"That's not funny, for some reason it gives me cramps and I have to stay in the bathroom all night." I pout but then I have to laugh, too. Christ, I don't know how the rest of my family does it, but for me it is just too spicy.
A while later I get up to leave, but Cooper calls me back. "Do you need something?" I ask him.
"No, I just... I want to apologize. I behaved like an asshole. It's none of my business if you have sex or with how many men you were intimate. It's just, when I look at you I still see the little girl with pigtails and not the grown up woman who can make her own decisions... and I am stubborn as shit, so that doesn't help either. But I love you Ana, are we good again?"
"Yes, and not just because you caught a bullet for me, but because you are my big brother and I love you, even when you are a stubborn ass." I walk back to the couch and we hug.
"Good, so I guess you should leave now... or else Dad will make you stay to eat some of his famous chili and I don't want you battling the assquakes all night long." he chuckles and I have to laugh, too.
"Good point well made, Mr. Steele. See you tomorrow."
I leave my apartment and roll my eyes when I find Sawyer waiting outside of the apartment for me.
"You could have knocked and waited inside." I say and he shakes his head.
"I didn't want to disturb your time with your family, Miss Steele." I decide to smile and say nothing. I know Taylor gives them their orders and no matter what I tell them they wouldn't do it anyway if it wasn't what Taylor or Christian instructed them with.
We get into the elevator and Sawyer comes to stand in front of me, shielding me from the man who is also in the elevator. He looks at us and leans against the wall, so he can look at me. I quickly look away as something about the guy doesn't sit right with me. It's like he is undressing me with his eyes and while I normally ignore things like that, this time it gives me the creeps.
I'm glad when the elevator stops at his floor and he gets out.
"Is it me, or was that guy creepy, Sawyer?" I mutter and he nods.
"Yes, something about the guy didn't sit right with me, either, Miss Steele." he answers clipped and I know as soon as we are back at the apartment, he is going to run a background check on the guy. Well, I guess at this point it is good that Christian's security is watching me even when I'm just at another apartment.
Because I still have some time before dinner I take a quick shower and change into jeans, a tank top with pink and white stripes and pink chucks. I leave my hair open and just as I am leaving the guest room I see Christian locking the door to the one room I have never been in here at his penthouse. Come to think of it, the room is always locked.
"Hey, ready for dinner, Ana?"
"Yes, I am hungry, what is Gail making for dinner?"
"Roasted chicken with asiago polenta, truffled mushrooms and broccoli."
"Okay, I have no idea what asiago is, but the rest sounds perfect."
"Asiago is italian cheese." Christian smirks and I roll my eyes.
"I see, so it's cheese polenta, yummy. Come on let's go eat."
"One day your eye rolling is going to get you into trouble, Miss Steele." I says and I raise one brow at him.
"I think my eye rolling is rather charming Mr. Grey. See?" I get on my tiptoes so we are on eye level and start to roll my eyes over and over in the most exaggerated way.
"Anastasia, stop it. That is a childish thing to do." he scolds me.
"No it would only be childish if I would do that too." I giggle and poke my tongue out at him.
"You know Ana, bad girls need a spanking." he says and in some way that turns me on and I can't help but tease him.
"If you want to spank me you have to fuck me, too"
Christian jaw nearly hits the floor hearing me say that and I turn around and leave him standing at the top of the stairs with his mouth hanging open.
After dinner we are in the library or how Elliot likes to call it the balls room and I watch them play pool when I start to think about the room upstairs again.
"Why is the room upstairs always locked?" I ask and Elliot and Christian both turn to look at me wide-eyed.
"Wow now I am really curious. So what's in there... is the room full of kinky toys or something like that?" I ask smirking and Elliot starts to shuffle from one foot to the other while looking at Christian.
"Well bro, I guess it's now or never" he mutters and turns to leave. "Hear him out little one, okay?" he says to me before he leaves the room.
"Okay, now I am starting to think it's something bad."
"No, it's ... fuck... okay, come I'll show you. Just... promise me to keep an open mind and give me a chance to explain it to you."
"I promise, so let's see what's inside your chamber of secrets" I joke to lighten the mood, but Christian seems really anxious, so I stop him and take his hands in mine.
"Christian, no matter what's inside that room, it won't change anything. I am just curious."
He nods and we go upstairs where he opens the door. I step inside and find myself in a BDSM Playroom. Well, sort of. With all the dark wood, leather and deep red walls the room has a romantic look to it. Kinky, but still romantic and what I notice first is that there is nothing scary like whips, belts or canes on display. Just a couple of floggers, two leather paddles and three different riding crops. Though, there is a huge chest of drawers on one side of the room that might hold those implements.
When I turn to look at Christian he still looks very anxious and takes a deep breath before he finally speaks.
"I am a Dominant, Ana. Before I discovered my feelings for you I contracted women who are submissive."
I stare at him. Christian a Dominant... the thought is just ... just completely preposterous. I have known this man for all my life and even though he might not see himself like that, but he is the most loving and caring person I have ever met. And just the though of him having a contract with a sub to whip and fuck them is so far from anything that I had expected.
Christ, we all thought he was gay and all the while he probably had more sex than Cooper and Elliot combined. I try to stop it. I really try... but I can't stop it. I break out in uncontrollable laughter. I laugh so hard I have to flop down on the Chesterfield couch to stop myself from rolling on the floor.
I know I shouldn't laugh, it's inappropriate, immature and it's probably going to hurt his feelings, but I just can't stop. And the more I try to stop it the harder I laugh, until I am howling with laughter and tears are streaming down my face. My belly hurts so bad from all the laughing and finally I manage to stop after what feels like ages and wipe the tears from my eyes.
When I look at Christian he looks at me as if I am an alien. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have laughed... I have no idea what possessed me to react like that." I murmur apologetic.
"Well, that was not the reaction I was expecting." he mutters and his voice shows that he is hurt.
I get up wrap my arms around his waist and look up into his beautiful gray eyes.
"I am really sorry. I wasn't laughing at you. It was just... all this time we all thought you are gay or celibate and here you were in your BDSM playroom probably having more sex than all of us combined."
He comprehends my words for a moment and a small smug grin appears on his lips.
"I guess that could be the truth, especially when it comes to you, Miss Steele."
"Now that is your fault, you just needed way to long to discover how perfect I am for you." I grin and he chuckles.
"You are not very submissive" he says matter of factly and I lower my gaze.
"But I can be submissive... if Sir wants me to." I say in my most subdued tone and he sucks in a sharp breath.
"Ana, how come you know what this room is and how a submissive should behave?" he sounds a little concerned about this so I take his hands and pull him to the Chesterfield where we sit down.
"While I was in Europe I stayed in Hamburg for a week. There is this part of the city called the Reeperbahn. They have all sorts of clubs. Normal ones and clubs where male strippers dance, normal strip bars and there are also many adult toys stores. I wanted to buy a vibrator and went into the wrong store. It was full of leather clothes, whips, canes, kinky furniture and other stuff. They also had books about BDSM and I was curious so I bought some and did a little research. I am intrigued by it. Surrendering yourself to someone else completely not having to think about anything, it just sounds really good to me. Though, I am not sure I could do this with my panic attacks. Being tied up and everything... but someday I would like to try."
He lets my words sink in and suddenly he frowns. "Wait a second, you watched male strippers and why the fuck would you by a vibrator?"
"Christian, let's be real. I might have been a twenty-two year old virgin, but I am not that innocent. Of course I pleasure myself and while I never used a vibrator for penetration, they are also good for giving yourself an orgasm by stimulating the clitoris. And the strippers... why not, it was fun and my god I have never seen women of all ages acting like animals before, but there was this old lady who was about 70 or 80 and she had the time of her life when one of the strippers made her come up on stage." I giggle and Christian looks like he can't decide if he is amused or shocked.
Finally he smirks. "So, you enjoy to pleasure yourself?" he asks and I blush.
"Yes, I do... what about you?" if he can ask me things like that I can do that too.
"Actually, I would much rather enjoy it to be buried deep inside of you, but I guess we are not there yet."
"No, we are not and that's your fault."
"My?" he asks puzzled.
"Yes, yours. I am waiting for almost two weeks now that you are going to ask me on a date. But so far you didn't. I know there is a lot we need to discuss, but if we want to figure out if a relationship between us could work, we should start by having dates... and you know there is the three dates rule" I grin and he smirks.
"Well then, Anastasia Steele would you do me the honor to go on a date with me tomorrow night?"
"With pleasure, Mr. Grey" I smile and get up. "Can I explore a little?" I ask and he nods. So I head for the chest of drawers and start to open the drawers. The first holds a selection of vibrators and the second is full of butt plugs, but there is one thing in it I have never seen before. It looks like a hook, but at the end is a silver ball instead of the shark pike one would expect.
"What's this?"
"That's an anal hook." he smirks and I drop it immediately.
"Not your thing?"
"No... not at all the words anal and hook shouldn't even be said in the same sentence." I mutter making him chuckle but suddenly a different thought comes to my mind.
"How did you become a Dominant?" I ask and he tenses. "Let's go downstairs. If I get into that story I need a drink and you will want one too." he says and so I follow him downstairs.
For the next 15 minutes I listen to him telling me how he was Elena's submissive for 6 years. How he thought he deserved every harsh punishment she dished out. How she made him believe that this was the only way for him to be intimate with a woman. And how after 6 years as a submissive he became a Dominant himself. Always picking the same type of women. Petite brunettes with pale skin, like me... and all of them reminded him of his birth mother. He used to punish them, because he couldn't punish her for neglecting him... for chosing the drugs over him and not stopping the pimp from beating him and using him as an ashtray. And the worst thing is, he thinks that he is a sadist. This man who is nothing, but kind and caring and loving... he thinks he is not capable of all those things... and most of all he thinks he is not worthy of love. Not the love of his family and not mine. He promised me he would change, become a better person and I just sat there and listened to him.
It's all her fault. Fucking Elena took a boy who was out of control and brainwashed him into the believe that BDSM is the only way for him to be with a woman, that he is not worthy of love... and I can't stand to listen to him shred himself any longer. I get up from the sofa cup his beautiful face in my hands and kiss him with all the love and passion I feel for him until we are both breathless.
"I don't want you to change. You are the most kind, caring and loving person I know Christian. If anyone is worthy of being loved than it is you and if you don't believe me then I just have to show you every day how much I love and what a wonderful human being you truly are until one day you start to believe me. To me you are perfect, Christian. I love you, just the way you are." I tell him while tears are rolling down my cheeks and Christian is crying too.
He pulls me in his arms and we just hold onto each other for the longest time. In this moment I know that it will become my life's mission to make him feel loved, every day as long as I live...
Phew... I don't know about you, but I feel emotional after this chapter.
Elena is still on the run... and I have this crazy idea about who is helping her and why... so this is going to be fun... pictures can be found on my pinterest...
For those of you who are also following The Darkest Shade of Grey... I am trying to get the new chapter done until later tonight or tomorrow afternoon... if nothing is uploaded until 7 pm CEST then I didn't get the chapter complete until I have to leave for the airport... but I'll try my best :-)
Sunny