Ana
Christian and I had the most beautiful honeymoon, even with snowmobile-gate. But now we are back to reality. We arrived back home at Escala late yesterday evening and this morning Christian went back to Grey House while I have nothing to do. I've tried to call Kate again, but she wasn't taking my call yet again. So, I decided to call her at work and found out that she wasn't at work since Ethan died.
She is one of my best friends and if what has happened has made it impossible for her to be my friend, then at least I need to hear her say that to me in person. So, I changed and now Sawyer is driving me to Kate's. I would have liked to drive myself, but so far the media has no idea that we are back from our honeymoon and Christian is afraid they find out and harass me.
"Can you wait here, Sawyer?" I ask when we are inside the garage of Kate's apartment building.
"I'm sorry Ma'am, but Mr. Grey gave orders to make sure that Miss Kavanagh is not trying to harm you."
"Oh for pity sake, Kate is not going to hurt me." I mutter under my breath and he follows me into the elevator. I would have loved to argue with him, but he is just following his orders.
Once outside of Kate's apartment I knock and wait... and wait... and ... wait. I know she is at home, I saw her car in the garage, so I try it again.
"Kate, please open the door. It's me, Ana. Please, if you don't want to see me then at least tell me, I am worried about you." I call out loud enough for her to hear it through the closed door.
Instead of hers the door of the neighbors apartment opens and a young woman looks at me only to turn around and yell at some back inside the apartment. "Get your camera Mike... you won't believe it, Christian Grey's wife is in the hallway!"
"Mrs. Grey, we need to leave" Sawyer insists, but I don't want to leave, not without seeing Kate, so I knock again.
"Kate, please... we have been friends since kindergarten, at least tell me if our friendship is over" Oh crap, I know I won't be able to hold back my tears much longer and slowly the door to her apartment opens, but this is not what I expected. Kate looks horrible. Her hair is a greasy mess, her eyes are blood shot and swollen from crying, she is wearing a stained pajama and I don't think that she has had a shower in a long while because she exudes a less than attractive odor.
"Kate, oh my god." Ignoring the way she looks and smells I pull her in my arms and that sets her off again and sobs against my shoulder.
"Come on, let's get you inside" I murmur and lead her into the living room where we sit down on the sofa. I take a look around and her apartment is a mess. There are empty wine and beer bottles lying on the floor, used tissues all over the open living space, all the fruits in the bowl on the dining table are rotten and have fruit flies all over them. And I don't think she has opened a window in a while, because the smell inside the apartment is less than pleasant.
I feel terrible, while I was happily enjoying my honeymoon one of best friends seems to have lost complete control over everything around her and herself.
"Sawyer, please open some of the windows" I tell him quietly while I hunt for a tissue in my purse and hand it to Kate when I find one.
"What happened here Kate?"
"I don't know, I just ... why did he do that Ana?" she sobs and I just shake my head sadly.
"I don't know, it seems he had a lot of issues he was hiding from everyone. But why are you here alone? Haven't your parents stopped by to look after you?" I ask and she shakes her head.
"My Dad... he didn't even attend Ethan's funeral. He said to him he never existed ... and my mom, she is in complete denial. She acts like nothing happened, and now she is on vacation with her friend Nora. Am I the only person in this world who cares that my brother is dead?"
She looks at me, desperate and completely helpless and I can't help the tears that fall from my eyes.
"No... do you remember when we were ten and visited your grandma. He would climb up the trees in her garden to pick the best peaches and apples for us. Or the one time when we went camping in the Olympic Mountains and Mia fell. He carried her all the way back to our tent even though at the time Mia probably weight more than he did, because she was always such a chubby kid? That is the Ethan I want to remember, and that is the Ethan I am going to miss a lot. He was sick Kate and he made some really bad choices in the end, but that doesn't mean that all the good things he did are forgotten. And you know what else? He wouldn't want you to let yourself go like this."
"No, he wouldn't, but I feel like that the Ethan you talked about died long ago, ever since I found out about what he did to Anya and maybe even before, he was just not the same. Do you think I could have stopped all of this from happening? Maybe, if I had insisted that he stayed here or if I had talked to him more or..."
"Kate, please don't do this to yourself. What happened with Ethan is not your fault. He was seeing a shrink and not even John saw it coming. There is nothing you could have done to prevent things from happening. Do you understand, you can't blame yourself. It's not going to bring Ethan back to life, it is only going to tear you apart. Now, I want you to take a shower, I am not allowing you to neglect yourself like that."
"Okay, do you wait until I'm finished?"
"Sure, I'll wait here." I watch her leave the living room and once she is out of earshot I get up and look around the apartment until I find some cleaning supplies and garbage bags.
"Sawyer, would you do me a favor and get some groceries for me, I'll write you a list."
"Ma'am my orders are to stay with you" he says and I glare at him.
"Have you seen Kate, she is freaking mess do you think she is going to attack me? She could barely hold herself up for crying out loud!"
He shifts uncomfortably from one foot to the other and I roll my eyes at him and call Christian.
"Hey baby, miss me already?"
"Always, but actually I need you to tell Sawyer that he can leave me for 15 minutes at Kate's, so he can go and buy some groceries for Kate."
"Why can't she do that?"
"Because she is a mess Christian, her apartment looks like hell and I had to send her to take a shower, because judging from her odor and looks she didn't have one since Ethan died."
"Well fuck, that sounds bad. Do you need help?"
"No, I just need Sawyer to buy some groceries so I can cook a meal for her. I know her she never buys food for more than two or three days and I am sure she hasn't left her apartment for at least a week."
"Hand Sawyer the phone, baby" he says so I hand Sawyer the phone and start to clean while they are having a brief conversation.
"Ma'am your phone, Mr. Grey wanted me to tell you that he is in a meeting now, but he is going to call you back once the meeting is over."
"Good, so can I write you a list now?" I ask and when he nods I get a pen and piece of paper from my purse and write him a shopping list.
I hand him the list, but he shakes his head when I get my wallet out. "Mr. Grey has provided me with a credit card to use for what ever you might need me to get for you." he explains.
"Oh, okay" he leaves and I continue to clean. After twenty minutes I check on Kate, but she is shaving her legs, so I decide to call Mia.
"Hey Ana, I'm near Pike Market, do you want to meet me for lunch?" she asks happy to hear from me.
"No, actually I am at Kate's, Mia why didn't you check on her?"
"I called her and when she wouldn't take my calls I thought she needs time. And you know I really wasn't sure what to say to her..."
"She is a mess, Mia. Can you come over, I could use some help here."
"Sure, I'll be there in 10 minutes."
I hang up and continue to clean until Kate emerges back in the living room, now dressed in some yoga pants and an over sized sweatshirt.
"You don't have to clean Ana, please... "
"Kate, it's okay, Sawyer will be back soon, I've send him to buy some groceries, when was the last time you've eaten something?"
"Do cookies count?" she asks and I sigh.
"I'll cook you something. Mia will be here soon, too. Kate, why didn't you answer any of my calls?"
She flops down on the sofa and stares at her hands. "I didn't think you would want to see me anymore. After what Ethan did..."
"Kate stop, listen to yourself, you just said it, what Ethan did... you didn't do this to Christian and me, why would I end our friendship when none of this is your fault?"
"I don't know... I'm sorry Ana... I'm just confused and sad and angry and I didn't know what to do."
I have never seen Kate like this and I can't believe that not even her parents came to see if she is alright. Shit, I don't even want to think about what could have happened to her, had I decided to wait until she answers one of my calls.
"You don't have to be sorry, none of this is your fault." I tell her again and just then Mia arrives and she just walks straight up to Kate and hugs her.
"I'm sorry, I thought you didn't want to see us and I didn't know what to say. You know me, I never really know what to say. Ana is the fixer and shoulder to cry on, I'm the let's go shopping kind of girl" she says looking guilty as hell and that makes even Kate smile.
"Shopping sounds good, maybe next week?"
"Sure!"
I leave them to talk when Sawyer arrives with the groceries and start to unpack and cook some simple things Kate can just heat up in the next couple of days.
When I have the first dish ready we all sit down on the dining table, but Kate frowns.
"Am I going crazy or has Mr. Hottie over there called you Mrs. Grey when he came in." Kate asks and I smirk and hold my hand out to her showing her my engagement and wedding rings.
"Oh. My. God. No way! I mean ... when?"
"Last week the day we were released from the hospital. I wanted to tell you, but you didn't answer my calls. I take it you didn't read the papers either."
"No, but hey I won" she smiles and digs into her food.
"Won?"
"Mia, Cooper, Elliot and I made a bet. I said Christian and you would get married before you turn 23."
"Okay, wow when did you make that bet?"
"Not sure, Mia?"
"I think back in highschool, sophomore year." she shrugs and I shake my head amused, I guess not only I knew all along that I would end up as Christian's wife.
I am just about to say something when I hear Sawyer on the phone, most likely he is talking to Taylor.
"Mrs. Grey, we need to leave. Miss Kavanagh's neighbors informed the media that you are here and now the paparazzi are gathering at Escala and Grey House, most likely there are some here, too. I advise that is would be best to leave now, before they are giving us a hard time to leave." he seems nervous and I sigh. I guess this is something I have to get used to.
"It's okay, Ana. I'll stay here with Kate tonight."
"Good, so I'll stop by tomorrow, call me if you need anything." I hug Kate and Mia, grab my jacket and purse and leave with Sawyer.
"That's not too bad, you had me worried" I mutter when Sawyer pulls out of the garage and there are only six or seven paps trying to get a picture.
"There are more at Escala, they know that's the best spot to get your picture, Ma'am."
"Can't you just call me Ana?" I ask.
"No, Ma'am. Mr. Grey wouldn't appreciate that."
I want to argue, but decide to leave it be. I don't want to get him into to trouble with Christian and he likes it when the staff is acting super professional. So, I check my emails on my phone and don't even realize that we have reached Escala until I hear Sawyer cuss and nearly jump out of my skin when the paps start to bang against the car windows.
Damn it there must be at least fifty of them and they have circled the car trying to get a picture, even though the windows are so heavily tinted that there is no way to do so.
"Why are they doing this? Oh my god, are they going to break the windows?" I ask feeling the panic rising inside me.
"Please remain calm Ma'am" says Sawyer .. hah, easy for him to say... and while I am trying to take deep even breaths he calls someone asking for back up.
Maybe it is just my panic, but I feel like the banging gets even louder and they are all screaming my name. This is like a nightmare, only I can't wake up. Somehow even while my hands are violently shaking I manage to unbuckle my seatbelt and curl up on the backseat covering my ears trying to block all the noises out.
I have no idea if it is only a couple of minutes or hours that pass when suddenly the door opens. I am so startled I start to scream thinking that one of them managed to get into the car.
"Ana, baby it's me. Don't be scared" I hear Christian's voice and he pulls onto his lap.
"Breathe Ana, it's alright I am here, baby" he whispers against my ear and rocks me gently and finally I feel the car moving and we are inside the garage.
"Do you want me to carry you to the elevator or do you want me to just hold you here a little longer?"
"Hold me" I whisper and he rocks me in his arms until I have calmed down enough to look up at him.
"Better?"
"Yes... I just didn't expect them to go crazy like that."
"Don't worry it won't happen again. My PR team is going to release a statement later."
"Okay, I think I am ready to go up now."
At the penthouse Christian insists that I take a nap and so I quickly change into one of his t-shirts and curl up on our bed.
"I will make some phone calls and work for a while. I'm going to wake you in time for dinner. Do you need anything?"
"No, thanks... and hey at least this time I didn't throw up, I consider this making progress." I try to lighten the mood and Christian kisses my forehead.
"Sleep baby, I promise I'll deal with the media"
I nod and watch him leave, before I curl up again. I hope he can make them leave us alone, because I am not sure if I can leave the penthouse as long as they are outside waiting for us...
I am really sorry for the lack of updates on this story. The main reason is that I've started a new story Broken and it is on my mind 24/7 making it nearly impossible to write a chapter for any of my other stories, plus babybrain is starting to set in so now I am constantly thinking 'wait has that happened in this story or was it the other one...' but I promise I will try to update at least once a week from now on.