Barnaby looked around him. The tent was bustling with activity. His new acrobatic team, his new staff of clowns, some assistants tending to the animals, they were all frantically running around to prepare for the show. It's truly amazing what one year can do, he thought to himself. A year ago today I was practically on my deathbed, with no parents, no arms, and no circus. Look where we are now.
Sanguine came up from behind and patted him on his right prosthetic arm. "How you doing, kid?"
"I'm… great, dad. For once, my life makes sense again. It has purpose. And I couldn't have done it without you." Sanguine felt a hug coming on and happily accepted it. "I thank God every night for bringing you back to me."
"That reminds me, it's today. We should go now before it gets too close to curtain call."
"Right, okay. Uh, Sherry!" Barnaby hollered at one of the acrobats walking past.
"Yes, Barnaby?" she replied, prancing over to him.
"You're in charge until we get back, okay? Won't be more than an hour. Make sure everything is ready to go by eight!"
"You got it, boss." She saluted him and gave him a wave as the father and son exited the tent and got in their car.
They had been driving for about twenty minutes on the highway when they made it past Exit 52 and pulled over onto the side of the road. Sanguine rushed out and helped his handicapped son get out.
"You really don't have to do that, you know. I'm perfectly capable myself." They walked over to the makeshift gravesite. Athena's portrait was posted on a nearby tree, surrounded by several wreaths. "I can't believe it's been a year."
"Me either, son. Me either."
"That damn seatbelt!" Barnaby's speech started to slur as his emotions got the better of him. As he succumbed to the grief that washed over him, Barnaby recalled what had happened a year ago. He was lying in his bed when Sanguine appeared out of nowhere, wet and bloody and all disheveled. Sanguine told him that he and Athena were driving that stormy night when she nearly ran over a raccoon and hydroplaned into a tree. Sanguine miraculously managed to survive the wreck, but Athena's head popped right off her body due to force of the impact and the tightness of her seatbelt.
"It's a true shame, son. I know we never got along in our most recent past, but I did love the hell out of that woman." Sanguine almost felt a little bad for having kept this lie up all this time. He simply couldn't tell Charles that he actually murdered Athena, it would be too heartbreaking. Fabricating a story where no one was at fault was the most cathartic way to go about it. And he had to admit, the part about loving Athena was completely accurate. They did have a great time together. But of course she had to become an absolute bitch and ruin everything…
"Alright, let's say our prayers and be on our way. We've got a hell of a show tonight, don't we? The Barnaby Traveling Circus' official grand re-opening. I never thought I'd see the day." Barnaby clumsily bent his head down onto his shoulder to wipe away his tears, and quickly went from depressed motherless boy to confident anxious ringmaster. "It's show time!"
Two hours later, he found himself producing a much needed exhale and watching his breath fog up his mirror. Sanguine dutifully stood by his side and slid the pristine pair of white gloves off his prosthetic hands. "Almost wish I was able to do that myself one more time," Barnaby said.
"Kid, you played with fire, and you got burned. Literally! And then you allowed that psycho Julius to snap your arms off. Don't regret the decisions you made, Charles. That's no way to live."
Barnaby smiled at his father. He was right, after all. Everything he did in the past brought him to this moment, and in this moment he felt the greatest he had felt in years. Tonight's show was a success. Better than a success, actually. The tent was jam-packed with people. The locals had plenty of time to forget about all of the mishaps that were associated with the circus a year ago. He was honestly stunned at the incredible turn-out.
If all of his past decisions had brought him to this proud moment, then it must have all been for a good reason, right? Why regret any of it?
"You didn't take a kid tonight," Barnaby noted, suddenly realizing it as he replayed the events of the evening over in his head.
Sanguine swallowed the lump of saliva that quickly collected in his the back of his throat after hearing that. "I didn't want to disappoint you. I stopped myself from doing it, for your sake." The clown looked at himself in the mirror. "I was good tonight. For the first time in decades, I was a good clown."
"You didn't have to do that, dad. The whole reason I started this circus in the first place was so that you could freely do that as you wished."
"I know, but I feel like this is a whole new era, a fresh start for you. I caused you too much trouble by doing all of that. This is your time to shine, Charles." He pinched his son's cheek like he always did. "It'll be tough quitting cold turkey, but I'll do it for you."
Barnaby grinned. "You're going to be a great good clown, father."
Sanguine eyed the clock on the wall to his right. "Alright, I have to get this shit off my face before it starts to seep into my wrinkles. You okay for the night?"
"Yes, I can handle it all from here. Thanks again. Without you, tonight wouldn't have been possible." The two hugged it out and Sanguine went to leave.
"Love you, son." Sanguine opened the door to Barnaby's office, and on the other side he discovered a familiar face. "Holy shit… Lura?" Barnaby wasn't even looking in that direction, but when he heard his father say her name, his head turned so fast that he nearly gave himself whiplash. It was true. She was really standing there. And it didn't seem possible, but she looked more breathtakingly beautiful than she ever did before.
"Hi, Barnaby. I saw the show tonight, I don't know if you saw me in the audience."
"No, no I didn't see you. You—you were there?"
"Yeah. I saw the posters and signs all over town lately and I figured I'd see the new and improved Barnaby Traveling Circus. You did a great job putting it back together." She seemed so innocent and… broken, she seems broken, Barnaby thought. It's as if she's about to break down completely at any second.
"Come in, please." Barnaby said as he got up. He locked eyes with his father and signaled him to leave; Sanguine gave him a thumb's up.
"Nice to see you again, Lura," the old man said. She waved daintily at him and turned back to Barnaby. The clown, meanwhile, quietly departed.
"So… what happened to your arms? I noticed they seemed a little… lifeless tonight."
"Go ahead, touch them." She gently squeezed his sleeve and jumped when she realized they were prosthetics. "I lost both of them in a fire about a year ago. Not too long after you left me, as a matter of fact."
"It's been that long already? Jesus." They stared at each other for some time, not exactly sure what to say next.
"So, um, what have you been doing lately?" He offered her his seat, but she cordially denied the offer.
"I don't want to stay long, I just wanted to pop in quick and see how you were doing."
"Lura, for crying out loud, we haven't seen each other in a year! I'm not doing anything for the rest of the night, do you maybe want to get some coffee?"
She curled her lips into a smile. "Actually… I was going take a walk on the beach, down to the pier and back. Just to clear my mind before I head home to all that chaos. Care to join me?"
Barnaby couldn't believe this was happening. "Sure, yeah, just give me two minutes, okay?"
"Okay," she replied, giggling like a thirteen-year-old agreeing to go on her first date. "Dou you, um, need some help?"
Barnaby gave a quizzical look, and she embarrassingly pointed to his arms. "Oh, no, it's alright, I can handle it myself. I'll meet you outside the train." She nodded in response and awkwardly left the room, and he watched her exit the train from his window. Barnaby never got undressed and dressed faster than he did in that moment, including when he had functioning upper limbs.
"So, you mentioned the chaos back at home. What's that all about? Where are you living these days?"
"Actually, that's part of the reason why I hoped you'd agree to a brief chat with me, Barnaby. I… have a baby." The two of them had only made it a few paces down the boardwalk when she dropped that bombshell. He stopped dead in his tracks, making sure he heard her correctly. "Um, we have a baby. She's yours, Charles."
"Holy shit. You're sure?"
"Got the paternity results a few days ago. She is definitely yours."
"Well… tell me about her. How old is she? What's her name?"
"Alright, calm down, anxious pants!" The two of them laughed, something they hadn't done together in ages. "Her name is Annabelle, and she's three months old."
"Wow. I have a daughter. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself having a child. Mainly because I was terrified of what my father might do if he ever got his hands on it." Lura was rather surprised that he said that. The truth about Sanguine's vice was still something relatively new to her. "I know this is a bit sudden, but… do you think there might ever be a chance of me seeing her?" She looked at him. There was so much hope in his eyes. His business was now booming again, and now the love of his life has reappeared with the news that he is a father. How could she possibly take away the opportunity for him to meet Annabelle?
"Yeah, eventually. To be honest, Barnaby, I'm still a little hesitant to be around you, as I hope you would understand."
"Oh, completely. I'm not—I didn't imply that—I—Lura, I don't expect you to come crawling back to me. I mean this is our first time seeing each other since… since you discovered how much of a monster I am. Was."
"Barnaby, you… well, you were a monster. And I've had a really long time to think this all over. I don't think I can take you back." She watched the hope in his eyes fade away. "At least not yet." The hope was still there, only slightly.
"Lura, I can't even begin to describe how immensely sorry I am for everything I put you through. And I do mean that. I've had time to think this over too. I never thought I would ever see you again to be frank, but… but seeing you now has made me realize that I did—I do—have immense feelings for you. We always made our relationship about sex. And I don't know how you saw it, but to me there was definitely an emotional connection as well. When I proposed to you that night, in the restaurant, remember? That was totally sincere. I hope you do understand that, darling. I realize now the pain that I put you through, and to know that I've done such heinous things to the person I love more than anything… it truly breaks my heart!" He was sobbing now, and he threw his head into her bosom. She comforted him right away, wrapping her arms around his back and rubbing it in circles.
"I believe you, Charles. I think this time apart did us some good. We both realized what the problem was, and I think now we know how we can fix it if we ever want to move forward."
"You're saying that you would want to move forward?" Barnaby asked, lifting his head up to look at her.
"I don't think I can handle being a single mom, Barnaby. I want Annabelle to have some kind of father figure at some point in her life."
"I can be that," he said with a big grin on his face. He chuckled. "I can be a father figure, if you want me to be."
Lura smiled back. "Okay, we'll have to play it by ear." The two of them made their way to the end of the pier and gazed out at the vast emptiness of the Atlantic Ocean. The full moon shone brightly down upon them as they reconnected further. She slowly started to nestle into him, hoping he would wrap his arm around her and bring her in closer. But then she remembered that he no longer possessed that ability.
"I hate to be a nuisance, but do you think we can take the arms off? Just for a second?"
"Why?" he asked.
"I don't like it. I know that may sound insensitive, but it makes you seem artificial. The Barnaby I knew wouldn't have relied on a crutch. He would've walked around proudly without any arms and shown the world what he can still do without them."
He smiled. "I think that Barnaby is long gone, he died the day you left me."
"Well I'm back. Which means that Barnaby is back again too." She caressed his face and then slowly brought her hands down to the prosthetics. She glanced at him, asking for permission with her eyes; he replied with a nod. Lura carefully undid the clasps holding the fake limbs onto his body and carefully placed them on the wooden planks beneath their feet. She wrapped her arms around him and sighed contently. "I always loved you, Barnaby."
"I loved you too, Lura." Barnaby gazed out beyond her shoulder and faintly made out the circus train in the distance. The tent had finally come down and the troupe was all checking in for the evening, resting up so that they could prepare for the next show tomorrow night. Except it didn't look like there was going to be a next show. As he focused on the train he witnessed the front car burst into flames in an unexpected explosion. Lura quickly snapped her head around and the couple watched the train go up in flames.
"DAD!" Barnaby shouted. He went to make a run for it, thinking that the five minutes it would take him to get to the scene of the incident would change the fact that his father and the rest of his performers were being burned alive in a wall of flames. But he couldn't run away. Lura still had a hold around him, and when he tried to run off, she quickly pulled him back. She slammed him against the edge of the pier. Are you sure you're ready to do this? she asked herself. Quickly responding to herself with a resounding yes, she pushed Barnaby over the edge.
The fall only took about two seconds, from the top of the thirty-foot pier to the surface of the ocean, but to both Barnaby and Lura, it felt like thirty minutes. In that stretched-out bit of time, she started to think over why she did that. Didn't I just confess that I loved him? Did I love him? Do I love him? What was I thinking? I just killed the man I thought I loved! And then she managed to reassure herself that it was all for the best. You were supposed to do this, Lura. That's why you came here. You had to put an end to this madness. Let Barnaby get what he deserves. You deserve happiness. You deserve a life free of worry. Free of him. Go along with it. Stand there at the top of the pier and watch him fall. Watch him drown. Watch him die.
Barnaby, meanwhile, thought only one thought during the plummet. Lura… why? Why? I love you, Lura. Why? He was still completely blindsided by all that was happening. Did he really just watch his father die in a train car explosion? Did his lover really just take his arms off and push him over the edge of a pier? He didn't really know what to make of the whole situation. By the time he finally asked out loud, "Why?!", he was fully submersed. He kicked and flailed for a few moments, but his legs gave out quickly. They couldn't keep him afloat. He was top-heavy. He had no arms to swim with. Charles Barnaby took his last breath of air and his first breath of ocean water. The last thing he saw before the dark waves engulfed him was Lura, his lover and his murderer. He died motherless, fatherless, and Lura-less. But at least he got to experience one last hell of a show.
Lura, Jacob, and Annabelle waited patiently in the lobby for the visitation hour to begin. Jacob was busy playing games on his phone while Lura just sat there watching the clock, checking in on Annabelle in her car seat every few seconds. She was sound asleep. That was the miracle of this baby: she spent all her time either eating or sleeping. She never cried, and she never fussed. Such a perfectly content result of such horrific circumstances, Lura thought.
"Hey, mom," Jacob said, lifting his head up from his phone. "Could I borrow a dollar for the vending machine?"
"Sure, Jacob." Lura smiled as she went into her purse to give the boy his money. A few months ago Jacob finally started calling her mom, and it was one of the proudest moments of her life. It was the first time that anyone ever addressed her by that title. For eighteen years she had been a mother, but she had never been referred to as such.
Finally the visitation period began and the three of them went inside to see Victor. He's really committing to this whole beard thing, isn't he? Lura wasn't sure if she was a huge fan of it. But hey, she reasoned with herself, prison changes people.
"So it all went smoothly?" Victor asked, not wanting to directly mention their assassination publicly for all to hear.
"Yes," Lura replied, with a content sigh. "The Barnaby Traveling Circus is no more." Victor grinned, elated to hear that the man who destroyed his family and was responsible for so much pain in Lura's life was gone for good. Jacob grinned too, glad to acknowledge that the man who tormented him had died horrifically in a freak train explosion. Except they all knew there was nothing freaky about it. It was all planned. The explosives were planted by Lura herself just seconds before Barnaby met her outside for their stroll on the boardwalk. And it was Jacob's duty to set off the bomb, watching intently from afar, waiting for the right moment for Lura to make her move on Barnaby. It couldn't have gone better.
"You seem happy, sweetheart," he told her.
"I am happy. For once in my life, I can finally say that I am very happy. So… did that brawl ever happen?"
"Oh, no. Turns out that guy was just showing off. He wasn't really going to beat me up. Good thing, because I probably would've shit my pants if someone did actually try to fight me!" Jacob laughed at that, and Lura rolled her eyes like a typical mother reacting to a vulgar comment. This seems so normal, she thought to herself. It can't get any better than this. "But that's what the beard is for. Makes me look more rugged, right?" Neither Jacob nor Lura ended up responding. Trying to quickly change the subject, Victor asked, "So… any other news?"
"Oh, yes, actually." Lura started to tell him about how their neighbors started to complain about their hedges growing over into their driveway, but Victor wasn't really listening. He looked at her and couldn't help but feel sorry. This poor girl has been through too much. She may seem happy, and she may tell people she's happy, but she isn't.
Victor remembered how unhinged she became a year ago. When Victor had finally come to when the storm hit, he went downstairs and found Lura rocking herself in the corner of the room while Julius was sliced to bits in the kitchen. And that's not a figurative statement. Julius' body was hacked into little three-inch-by-three-inch cubes. Like chunks of meat that one would feed to a lion for a snack. Victor buried both Parker's decaying body and Julius' remains in the backyard, in the same hole that Jacob was originally buried in. Not sure what to do with Lura after her psychotic break, Victor had no choice but to commit her for a brief time to allow her to sort herself out. The next day, thanks to Julius' release of the CONFIDENTIAL file before he invaded the Carson residence, Victor was arrested and convicted for the conspired murder of Marcus Buchanan, Duncan Manchester, and Penelope Jenkins (later to be known by the Barnaby Traveling Circus as Cassandra, the astounding mermaid). Francis Huckabee, Ellen's father, was also tried and imprisoned too. He didn't make it, however; just two months behind bars and he suffered a fatal heart attack. Jacob, meanwhile, stayed with a family friend while he was guardian-less.
After five months, Lura was released from the psychiatric ward and moved back into the Carson residence. She eventually had the baby. All that time being institutionalized prevented her from getting that abortion she planned on getting. Jacob was an incredible brother figure and helped her out so much. He would come over after school to help her out. At least that's what they told people. Jacob really raised that baby; Lura was too checked out for the first month or so after being in shock that this was her reality. She considered plenty of times getting in touch with Ruuxa and having her exchange Annabelle's soul into Parker's body, but Jacob always managed to talk her out of it. As she wasted away into nothing, Jacob stayed in the house and took care of all the baby's feedings and changings and baths and so on. It was about a month ago when Lura finally came to her senses and her maternal instinct finally kicked in. She realized that the only way to truly get out of this mental block was to put the past completely and utterly behind her. So they devised the plan to put an end to the Barnaby Traveling Circus for good.
It was also around that time when she also had a paternity test conducted. She thought all along that she would be better off not knowing who Annabelle's father was, but the curiosity was eating away at her, and she was afraid she would go mad again if she kept herself in the dark about it any longer.
Victor anxiously twiddled his thumbs, waiting for her to bring up the results of the paternity test. He knew she received them just a few days ago, and he knew that she knew the results. But he also knew that she wouldn't dare tell him. Not even Jacob knew. Whether it was Barnaby's or Parker's, the result would be too embarrassing for her to share with anyone. Victor desperately wanted to know; not just because he was curious, but because he wanted her to feel like he was her confidant, someone whom she could trust enough to confide something like that. He felt like it only distanced them more. As if her being institutionalized and him being imprisoned didn't physically distance them enough, now he was being kept in the dark both literally and metaphorically.
The visitation hour ended, and Victor walked away knowing no more about Annabelle's father than he did before.
Victor returned to his cell for the remainder of the day, choosing not to engage with any of the other inmates or even touch his food. He couldn't help but hate himself for putting him and his family in this situation. All these years he hated Ellen for putting him up to that murder conspiracy, but he finally caved, and he was ultimately responsible. The only person to blame was himself. And if he hadn't caved, he would be back at home, snuggling up next to Lura and raising Jacob and Annabelle together as a family.
Is tonight the night I finally do it? That became the question he asked himself every night for the past two weeks. He'd practiced tying his bed sheets into a noose during his downtime. He mastered it to the point that he could make it in about thirty seconds. But eventually I will get out of here, and eventually I will be there for Lura and Jacob and Annabelle. But that's going to be so far down the road. Lura will probably fall out of love with me by then, Jacob won't need to be raised by me, and Annabelle will have survived her first decade without a father figure, and likely won't see the need for one anymore.
Victor grabbed his sheets in his fists. Is tonight the night I finally do it?
Lura, Jacob, and baby Annabelle leisurely drove back to the Carson house. She made dinner for the three of them, and then gave her baby girl a bath. While Jacob went upstairs in his room to work on his science project, Lura got Annabelle dressed in a fresh diaper and her pajamas, and then carried her downstairs into the basement. "Time to do our nighttime routine, sweetheart."
Lura pulled on the light bulb cord to illuminate her way, and they made it to the back room. Against the wall was a coffin-shaped box. With her childfree hand, Lura lifted the box to reveal none other than Parker's body, dead now over a year. He was wrapped in damp white towels, as if he were wearing a cheap mummy costume. The smell caused both Lura's and Annabelle's eyes to water, as the towels lining Parker's body were soaked in alcohol.
The minute she found out that Parker was without a doubt Annabelle's father, she dug up the hole in the backyard and kept his body in the basement, embalming and preserving as much of him as possible. He was mostly decayed at this point, with the worms and bugs having eaten away at him for those several months spent in the ground, but the parts that remained were still intact thanks to Lura's procedures.
She reached down and unwrapped the towel around his face, and smiled brightly as she became reacquainted with his visage. "Alright, Annabelle, say goodnight to daddy!" Lura picked up Annabelle's chubby right wrist and waved it up and down in Parker's direction. Then she leaned down and lowered her baby into the box, carefully pressing Annabelle's mouth onto Parker's cold lips for a brief goodnight kiss.
"Say goodnight to daddy, Annabelle. Goodnight, daddy!" Lura then brought her own lips to Parker's, remaining there a bit longer than Annabelle did. A tear fell out of the corner of her eye and onto Parker's green cheek. She gently combed his few remaining hairs with her fingers, and then wiped the tear off of her son's face. "Goodnight."