AN - Long chapter alert. Didn't make sense to split this one up. Huge huge thanks to Kazo Sakamari and TimeEnough for the reviews - I really really appreciate it. Let me know what you think of the latest chapter, and enjoy!

Year of the Wolf

4. Snape and the Wolf

'James, I-'

James looked up from his homework. There was not a single mark on the parchment before Sirius, and the tip of his quill remained as dry as the moment it had been pulled from his bag.

'You're not stuck?' he asked in astonishment. 'Aren't you supposed to be some kind of genius?'

He saw the twitch in the corner of his lips betray the otherwise stoic expression. You see, these boys had certain weaknesses when it came to one another. While Sirius could stare down any random student as they delivered a full stand-up routine without so much as a twinkle of amusement in his eye, it took only one barely funny comment from James to crack through whatever shields he had thrown up.

'Would you stop being a smart-arse for five minutes? I'm trying to apologise here.'

James made a fake surprised motion, pretending to almost fall off his chair. It wasn't really that funny, but a full smile cracked on Sirius's face and laughter even fell from his lips.

'You're impossible, you know that?' he chastised. Then, his expression hardened a little as he caught himself. 'Look, I really do want to apologise. For yelling at you earlier. I was just angry and lashed out... In short, I was an idiot, and I'm sorry.'

James smiled, because he really didn't mind. They argued often, it was just par for the course. Within a half hour they'd be best friends again and laugh about their own stupidity.

'As much as I would love to explore the leverage I have here...I forgive you,' he said.

'Thank you.'

But a question that had been pacing in the back of his mind suddenly rushed to the fore and rolled straight onto his tongue. If there were any occasion on which Sirius would not mind being asked, it was right now, when he was feeling a little sheepish and perhaps felt like he owed his friend.

'What happened? I mean, in general, not just today. And don't say "nothing", because I know nothing when I see it, and this is something.'

Sirius sighed and leaned back in his chair. For the first time that school year, he actually seemed genuinely relaxed.

'I don't know,' he said with a slight frown. 'Just family stuff. Narcissa is engaged now - oh, Lucius Malfoy, by the way...so proud to be calling him my cousin soon - so my parents got all the immediate family together for a celebratory dinner. Bella and her idiot of a husband were there too. And you know what dear old Bellatrix is like. Started shooting her mouth off...'

James didn't know what to say, chose to remain quiet. But he saw the hand that rested on the blank parchment clench, saw the knuckles turn white and he looked up. There was a deadened look in the grey eyes, and they seemed to stare right through the table. It was as though he had fallen into a trance.

'I don't know how much more I can take,' Sirius said, so quietly that James had to strain his ears to pick up the words.

Then don't take it! James wanted to say. Come live with me. Mum and dad would love to have you. You can have the room next to mine and we can play Quidditch all summer. We can wake up early on Christmas Day and gorge ourselves on mince pies. And you'd never have to deal with their crap again.

But the words never found their way to him. Moments later, the hand unclenched and the eyes were bright again. And James began to wonder, which face was the mask?

Before either boy could say another word, someone stumbled noisily through the portrait hole. For a moment, James was a little annoyed at the interruption.

'Mary!' shouted a voice from outside. 'Come on, you have to tell-'

But the portrait swung back and sealed the entrance. And all eyes were on Mary Macdonald, who had frozen mere feet from the portrait hole. It was clear almost immediately that something was wrong. Her face was a troubling shade of pale, eyes wide and alert. Even her stance was defensive, arms wrapped around herself, though not tightly enough to hide the tremor in her hands.

Lily and Marlene were at her side in seconds, and James did not realise that he too had risen to his feet until he saw that Sirius had done the same. As soon as Mary's eyes found Lily's, as soon as her friends were there, she burst into tears.

James had never considered Mary Macdonald a "crier". He had seen her take a Bludger to the stomach and crack several ribs before gritting her teeth and finishing the match, had seen her break up with her boyfriend just last month and hold her head high. She was a tough girl in every sense of the word, and was very much like Sirius in that she never seemed to feel comfortable with people seeing her as anything other than happy or at the very least indifferent. So the tears frightened him. It was like watching something unnatural, like Filch letting someone off scot-free or Peter achieving an "Outstanding" in Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Sirius was there before he could even think about moving, and Mary grabbed his arm tightly before releasing quickly, as though the movement had been completely involuntary, and sobbing even harder. At this point, both Lily and Marlene were well aware that all eyes were on their friend, so they guided her carefully up the stairs that led to their dormitory.

The silence that was left in their wake was filled only with the low hum of conversation, and the flight of theory.

Word got out that something had happened to Mary Macdonald. It was discussed wherever she was not, and James wondered if this was because they were afraid of Mary or afraid of the glares from the Gryffindor boys whenever it looked like the subject was going to be broached in front of her.

Despite the lack of insight into the actual event, the one thing everyone seemed to be in agreement over was that this was a Slytherin job.

It was the day after whatever had transpired, and James walked alone through the castle, both disgusted and annoyed at the fact that the Slytherins all seemed to be in a rather good mood. Was it just because the rest of the school had slipped into a darker state of emotion, or were they really happy that something had happened to a Gryffindor? A muggle-born Gryffindor.

He saw Sirius and Remus standing with a sixth-year Gryffindor boy and several Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw students in the courtyard. Sirius wore a dangerous expression, even the usually-zen Remus looked ready to murder someone.

'What's happening?' he asked as he approached, and one of the Ravenclaw boys jumped nervously before he realised who it was.

'Think we've finally found out what happened to Mary,' said Sirius. His voice was heavy and dark. 'Wilson, want to recap?'

A seventh-year Hufflepuff boy looked up at James.

'I was just walking alone last night, when I heard a commotion,' he said gravely. 'Heard someone scream, so obviously I ran straight to the source of the noise. Saw her and...Mulciber and Avery. Stunned them both, they hadn't seen me coming. Obviously, because that creep Mulciber was halfway through the incantation for the Imperius Curse.'

It was a sticky, bubbling, caustic sensation that rose within James's chest. It clung to every bone, oozed into every organ. He knew that Avery and Mulciber were no good, knew that they were on track to become Death Eaters, but he never thought...

'I tried to get her to go straight to McGonagall, or even Sprout, but she wouldn't. I think she was too scared, and even if she did they hadn't actually used the curse so they'd still be here and would probably be angling for revenge. At least...that's what she thought.'

'So we were just saying,' said Sirius. 'We think it's unfair that Mulciber's going to get away with this. Doesn't sit right with us, you know?'

The others nodded and grunted in agreement.

'Someone needs to teach them that they can't get away with stuff like this,' said a fourth year Ravenclaw boy.

James looked to Remus, as if daring him to challenge the group consensus. But he said nothing, even nodded resolutely. The beast within James's chest, the one that had sprung from the rage, was rather proud of his friend in that moment. There was nothing quite like righteous anger. If it wasn't bad enough that they had attacked a muggle-born, or even tried to use that curse on anyone, Mary was his friend and he didn't just stand by and let his friends be hurt.

'So,' he said, his voice trembling from the power of the force that drove it. 'What's the plan?'

Over the next couple of days, there was a more excited buzz on the air. Nobody knew quite how Mulciber and Avery had ended up in the hospital wing, but they were quick to figure out why and you'd be hard pressed to find someone who would condemn those responsible.

The teachers, of course, were stumped. There was no evidence at all, and nobody willing to talk. James had smirked proudly, wondering exactly what they would have done if they ever found out that it was such a large inter-house effort. After all, they were always telling them that they needed to work together and not let the colours of their uniform divide them. And there had to be students who knew or suspected, but nobody said a word. It seemed to be a unanimous school-wide opinion that the slimy gits deserved what they got.

And it was so worth it to see the Slytherins travel in packs, fearful of reprisals.

Even so, Sirius found it difficult to embrace the pride that the others had. He was glad that they got what was coming to them, of course, but it never should have gotten to that point in the first place.

He may not have actively rebelled against his family until he met James Potter, but Sirius Black had known for some time that there was something not quite right with their beliefs. For years, he thought that he was the strange one, and his parents actively encouraged this belief. So he played along, because what if he was stupid and what if they were telling the truth and the world really was that way and he was just caught up in some stupid hopeful fairytale?

But he wasn't. And he was so angry when he realised that, angry that his parents had tried to brainwash him into hating people just for the blood that ran through their veins, and to believe that the Dark Arts were an honourable and misunderstood avenue of magic. The more half-bloods and muggle-borns he got to know, the angrier he became. Because he liked these people, and the fact that there was an entire movement out there dedicated to stripping them of rights and even physically hurting them, just disgusted him. It was like werewolves - it was nothing they could help and it sure as hell didn't define who they were, and yet they were still ostracised because of a whole group of people thinking that they were better than others.

'Oh, good work, Mr. Black!' Slughorn commented, inspecting the beakers and flasks he had been cleaning. 'I think that's enough for tonight, thank you very much for your help.'

He thought for a moment about pointing out that he didn't really have much choice in the matter, given that this was a detention, but decided against it. It was a full moon night and James wanted to take advantage of the empty dormitory to continue their animagus studies. So he left quickly and quietly, his mind far from transfiguration.

What time was it anyway? It was dark outside, but only just, and he realised that he had probably lost the opportunity to wish Remus good luck for the night ahead. He felt rather sorry that he had to share the hospital wing with Avery and Mulciber, especially given that he was partly responsible for their being there.

There was someone in the darkness ahead, but he didn't pay much attention to them at first. It wasn't until he got close enough to see the unusual way that the moonlight reflected off the person's hair that he realised it was Severus Snape...alone.

'Detention again?' Snape sneered, eyes still fixed on the grounds outside. 'Your life is becoming so predictable, Black.'

Sirius smirked, just looking for a reason to hex him all the way back to the dungeons.

'Haven't you heard, Snivellus? It's very risky for Slytherins to be wandering alone these days. Didn't you hear what happened to those friends of yours?'

'You mean what you did to them?' Snape turned from the window, his black eyes unusually dark in the low light. 'You may have gotten away with it for now, but sooner or later your luck will run out.'

'Are you threatening me?'

Sirius thumbed the wand in his pocket. He could attack now; Snape's reflexes were good but he could probably get off a jinx or two before he could reach his wand.

Snape just laughed bitterly.

'You and Potter, you get away with everything,' he said. 'They try one little prank and you-'

'One little prank?' Sirius was talking through his teeth now, the pressure in his chest building again. 'You call what they tried to do to her a prank, do you?'

Snape said nothing, just stared him down. What was he doing out here anyway? Had he seen Sirius head to detention and assume he was up to something? So many nights beneath the invisibility cloak they had seen him sneaking about, so sure that they were doing something illegal. Ever since their first term he had been trying to find ways of getting them into trouble - at least Sirius and the others openly declared warfare rather than sneaking about like a greasy little rat.

'I know you've been sneaking out with Potter and Pettigrew,' Snape said at last. 'You're up to something, and I'm going to find out what it is.'

'You couldn't find food at a feast.'

Snape didn't appreciate this much, because the neutral expression on his face turned into a scowl.

'You think I haven't realised that Lupin disappears? And don't say he's ill, he wasn't in the hospital wing last time, I checked.'

Anger surged. The snivelling idiot had actually snooped after him. And he seemed to have realised that he had touched a nerve because he smirked and turned back to the window.

'Sometimes it's bad enough that he has to go to St. Mungo's,' Sirius explained rather convincingly. 'That's pretty low, you know, ripping on someone because of their health. It could be you, then you wouldn't be laughing.'

Because Snape didn't care about anything outside of the Dark Arts, with the very obvious exception of Lily Evans.

And maybe that was why Sirius hated him so much. This greasy little creep would have fit right in with his family. He looked up to the things that had driven a wedge between Sirius and his parents, the things that had seen his cousin and her husband join the Death Eaters, had seen Andromeda burned off the family tree just for loving someone.

Snape's eyes widened. Sirius stepped forward to look out of the window and his lungs contracted in fear. There was Madam Pomfrey, supporting Remus, who seemed barely able to walk. They moved past the suddenly still branches of the Whomping Willow and out of sight.

'I'll find out what you're up to,' Snape said. 'I'll find out where he's going and why. I'll get you all expelled. You, Potter, and the half-blood.'

Perhaps it was the tone of derision on the word "half-blood", but something inside of Sirius snapped. Snape was always trying to get them into trouble. He was worse than Filch; they could certainly attribute more loss of house points to Snape than to the caretaker. And he saw then the kind of son his parents would have loved to have, saw everything he had ever done to hurt James, or Remus, or Peter. He saw the laughter that had followed the news of Mary's attack, recalled the excuses he had made for his friends. He saw the Death Eater he would become, saw the countless people that would be hurt at his hands, people like Mary...people like Remus.

He almost laughed as the thought came to him. Because really, it could be him. He just didn't realise that. He needed a good scare, one that would have him flinching at the very sight of them. Why had he not thought of this before? It was genius.

Sirius leaned in, close enough to smell the stale scent of the unclean hair.

'If you're really that curious,' he said as they watched Madam Pomfrey exit and make her way back towards the castle alone. 'If you really want to know, why don't you just go down there?'

He was too much of a coward to even leave the castle after curfew, let along take on the Whomping Willow, but there was something in the suggestion that brought delight to the older boy. If he went down there, he'd know never to mess with them again, certainly to leave Remus alone.

'All you need to do is pick up a long stick and press a knot in the bark of the tree and you can get past.'

He could see him pissing his pants already, and it was hilarious.

Snape remained unmoving and Sirius laughed as he left him, shaking his head. Who was he kidding? Snape was a coward, he'd never risk going anywhere near that tree after what happened to Davey Gudgeon. But laughter followed him down the hallway and the further he walked, the funnier it became.

The common room had begun to empty, and James struggled to keep his eyes open. He should have known better than to stay up late the night before the full moon. It was good practise for when they finally finished this thing (and he very much looked forward to the ease in studying), but James did like his sleep.

'Maybe we should just do this without him?' Peter asked, stifling a yawn. He did have a point. Slughorn could have lost track of the time and Sirius was doing well enough on his own - it was Peter that really needed the help.

'Give it another ten minutes,' he said. But he knew that in ten minutes he may very well be asleep.

Ten minutes passed and still no sign of Sirius. In the end, James relented and they climbed the stairs to their dormitory. It was nice to have a secure place to practise. Even so, it never got any easier to see Remus's empty bed and know what he was going through. Would becoming animagi help at all? Or was it just some far-fetched theory that would amount to three years of wasted time and a moment of false hope for their friend?

No. It would all work out. James was never wrong.

They had barely settled in when the door opened and Sirius strolled through with the biggest grin on his face. He looked fit to burst, as though privy to a secret so hilarious it threatened the very fabric of his being.

'Slughorn in a good mood then?' James asked.

'Snivellus was sneaking around,' Sirius said as his grin grew wider. 'Trying to find out where Moony and I were.'

James laughed derisively. He'd never learn, would he? But there was worry too, worry that he would see or hear something that he wasn't meant to and figure out what was going on.

'Nosy git,' James said. 'We'll need to get him back for that.' Then, the sensible side of him spoke. 'We should get Remus to talk to Dumbledore too. I don't care what Snape does to us, but it's not good for him to be trailing after Moony.'

'Oh, I think I took care of that.' Sirius's smile became twisted now.

'What do you mean?'

James was on his feet now, as Sirius almost danced towards his own bed. He was wearing the same pride he had worn in the dungeon the day Slughorn had assigned him that night's detention, and seemed still to be almost bursting with the hilarity of whatever he had done.

'He saw Madam Pomfrey leading Moony out to the Whomping Willow,' Sirius explained in an almost bored voice. James didn't find this information as throw-away as Sirius did, and a flash of fear shot through him. 'So I told him if he wanted to know what he was up to so badly, then maybe he should press the knot in the tree trunk and follow him.'

It hadn't happened. It was a dream. James knew this because the sound drained from his surroundings despite the fact that Sirius was openly laughing. But when he ran forward, when he pushed his best friend so hard that he fell backwards onto his bed, the stinging in his palms suggested that this may just be real after all.

'Tell me you're joking,' he demanded. Sirius looked up at him in surprise, the laughter gone from his face. 'Tell me you weren't so fucking stupid!'

'It was just a joke,' Sirius said defensively. He seemed somewhat annoyed that James didn't find this as funny as he did. 'A prank.'

His entire body was shaking, he could barely contain the rage. Those words...they could not have come from Sirius Black. They sounded as though they were straight out the mouth of a Slytherin, excusing the cruel "joke" they had tried to play on Mary Macdonald.

'You...you sent a boy to meet a fully grown werewolf,' he said. It sounded so stupid, so absurd. It sounded like a sick fiction. 'He could...'

Free from the paralysing shock, he turned and bolted for the door.

'James!'

'DID YOU EVEN THINK?' James roared, turning round. 'He could be killed, or worse! You didn't think about him, you didn't think about Remus! If he bites him...' It would destroy him. His condition had left him with so many complexes that some days he could barely function. He was a gentle, kind person with a very low opinion of himself. He feared himself, feared what he became and what he could do to others. They had understood this, had striven to help him cope...but now...

He physically could not say any more, finding some sick satisfaction in watching the colour drain from Sirius's face as the full weight of what he had done fell upon him, and he turned and ran, bursting out of the portrait hole downstairs so fast that the Fat Lady's complaints echoed behind him. Several students yelled after him but he was gone so quickly that they didn't even have a chance to catch up.

Portraits hissed their annoyance at him as he passed, doors rattled as he ran through them. The absence of a cloak didn't even register as the cold autumn air rushed to meet him. Perhaps he was too frozen from what had just happened. The branches of the Whomping Willow swayed gently in the distance and he bolted for them, not even stopping to whisper the incantation as he charmed a rock and sent it into a barely visible knot on the trunk. He had never tried this before, had only known how the tree worked because Remus had explained, but it seemed to have done the trick because the tree froze as it pulled back to take a swing at him and he saw the entrance to the tunnel.

It was dark down there, and cramped, but he lit his wand and sped through the darkness. There were sounds up ahead, though he dared not stop long enough to discern them. The moon would be past its peak now, the wolf would be loose.

You're mental, he told himself. There's a werewolf down there and you're just running to meet it. For Snivellus.

But there was nothing funny about this joke, nothing funny about lycanthropy. For so long he had been working to help save Remus from himself, now...well, he never thought he would ever have to save the life of Severus Snape, not least that he would be up to the challenge. But whatever Snape was, he didn't deserve what waited for him if he made it to the end of the tunnel.

And what if he's not even down here? What if he just thought Sirius was joking? What if he was too scared?

There was someone up ahead, and James's heart sank. It was becoming increasingly difficult to proceed at speed, but he pushed on anyway, saw the light up ahead.

'Severus!' he yelled.

But it was too late.

He saw the wolf, saw the hunger in its eyes. And Snape had frozen to the spot, even as the wolf bared its teeth.

James didn't even have time to think of the strangeness of the situation. One of his best friends was there up ahead, only it wasn't his friend at all, it looked nothing like him. It was the first time he had seen a transformed werewolf, and the fact that it was Remus Lupin did nothing to disguise the fact that it looked like it would very much like to eat him right then.

'Stupefy!' he shouted. Making a mental note to apologise to Remus later, he pushed Snape in front of him towards the exit, screaming at him to run. He did not know if the spell would work against a werewolf, but didn't particularly want to hang around to find out, either.

As both boys ran, James continued to fire defensive spells over his shoulder. Given Dumbledore's extensive planning, the wolf was probably unable to enter the tunnel, but he wasn't taking any chances.

His sides were almost splitting, his free hand scrabbling along the wall in an attempt to keep him steady. And then they were out into the fresh air, and James grabbed Snape again, pulling them both clear of the tree.

Splayed against the grass, they both tried to catch their breath.

'A-Are you alright?' James asked when he found the nerve to speak. He pulled himself over to where Snape lay. 'Did-did it bite you?'

The empty horror in Snape's eyes gave way to another emotion. If James was not sure he had to be mistaken, he could have sworn that anger filled them, and not a thanks passed his lips.

'Y-you,' he stammered, pushing his hair out of his face. 'And-and...' He looked back towards the tree. 'You planned this! The four of you! You...he...werewolf...'

James tried to calm him down, but there was an anger inside him now. He had just saved this idiot's life and he was going on about how this was their fault?

Snape's face was still drained of colour, his hands shook, and it wasn't the controlled tremors of anger. 'The headmaster-'

'The headmaster is aware of what has happened.'

They both looked up and Snape shrunk back at the sight of Albus Dumbledore, the moonlight reflecting in his glasses. And behind him, shoulders slumped, his face hidden by a curtain of long dark hair, stumbled Sirius.

Dumbledore looked from Snape to James and then up at the Whomping Willow.

'I think...the three of you better come to my office.'

James couldn't stop shaking, and he couldn't for the life of him figure out why. Professor McGonagall looked at them all with a hard expression, her hands clasped before her. Professor Slughorn, on the other hand, was slumped in a chair, seemingly exasperated. And James felt sorry for him. He was a good man, if not a little strange, and he didn't deserve this.

They had waited calmly and quietly for their heads of houses to arrive, Fawkes cooing quietly in the background. Sirius looked over at him a time or two, but James continued to stare resolutely at Dumbledore's desk. Maybe if he blocked everything out he wouldn't have to deal with it.

Then...they had told their stories, one by one. Snape began to descend into speculation a time or two but the teachers had asked for the facts and only the facts and reminded him so. The silence that fell when the last boy had spoken was broken only by the hushed voices of the teachers as they retreated to the back of the office to discuss what they had been told. When they had returned, what seemed like an eternity later, not a single person in the room wanted to speak.

'I always wondered if Remus's friends knew of his condition,' Dumbledore said at last. 'The four of you have always been so close. Still, when Mr. Black appeared, distraught, outside my office, I was not fully prepared for the tale he would tell.'

James heard Sirius swallow in the chair next to him, and he looked over to see that he sat staring at his knees, hair once again concealing his face. James didn't know what to think or feel.

'Many school rules were broken tonight,' Dumbledore continued. 'Some actions, I dare say, constitute an offence for which the natural course of action is expulsion.'

Sirius slumped forward, his head in his hands.

'However, punishment as always lies with the Heads of Houses. Horace, Minerva, I believe you have decided on your course of action?'

McGonagall's expression was terrifying in its resoluteness. Slughorn merely sighed and looked up towards Snape.

'Severus, you were in the corridors after curfew and out of bounds,' he said. 'You put yourself in unnecessary danger-' Snape shook his head, evidently disagreeing with what he was hearing '-and you showed a complete disregard for rules that were set out for the safety of the students.'

'I was provoked!' Snape argued, but his voice was weak.

'I do not deny that there was provocation,' agreed Slughorn. 'You are, however, old enough I think to be able to rise above such things. Twenty points will be taken from Slytherin and you will serve a detention, the arrangements for which I shall make myself.'

Snape braced himself for more, but it seemed that was it. Professor McGonagall took a deep breath, steeled herself for a moment or two before she spoke.

'Mr. Potter, you too were out of bounds and in violation of curfew, but I do not think there is a person in this room who would fault you for being so,' she said. I think I can think of one, James thought in response. 'Thirty points will be awarded to Gryffindor for your bravery. Without your actions, it is not certain that Mr. Snape would be sitting here today.

A quiet, strangled noise was heard in the chairs next to him, the tone of each quite different, but James continued to look at McGonagall, even as she moved on.

'Mr. Black, your actions tonight were extremely reckless,' she said, and there was nothing gentle at all about her voice. In fact, James had never heard it quite so harsh. 'You deliberately endangered the life of your fellow student, you risked exposure of Mr. Lupin's condition, and I won't even bother getting into the rules that you have broken because the first point alone is enough to cost you your wand and enrolment at this school.'

James felt numb, he didn't know what to feel. His best friend was being expelled. Sirius trembled in his seat, his face completely obscured.

'However, there are things that must also be taken into account,' McGonagall continued. 'The most obvious being that you did not force Mr. Snape down that tunnel, you merely suggested that he take the trip, however foolhardy this may have been. And the fact remains that it was you who alerted Professor Dumbledore to what had happened, and this at least shows that you have already taken a measure of responsibility for your actions. The Headmaster remains convinced that you did this out of genuine remorse and I personally do not believe that you should be punished for Mr. Snape's actions as well as your own.'

She paused for a moment to breathe and gather her thoughts, and it was to much dramatic effect.

'Therefore, we have decided that you will not be expelled this time.' Snape let out a sharp noise of disbelief and the tremors in Sirius's arms seemed to cease. 'However, I must impress upon you the severity of your actions. You will have detention every Wednesday until the end of term, and fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor. I will also be writing to your parents.'

She gave him the opportunity to speak, but he remained silent and unmoving until Dumbledore spoke again.

'Severus, I must ask that you keep Mr. Lupin's condition to yourself,' he said. 'Given the measures I myself have personally taken to ensure Remus's continuing residence at this school, I will not take a slip of the tongue lightly. To make myself perfectly clear, I forbid you from telling anyone the true details of what occurred tonight. If you find that you are unable to, then I am afraid that it will not just be Mr. Lupin's future at this school that will be put at risk.'

In other words, if he blabbed he would be expelled.

'Horace, Minerva, if you would take your students back to their dormitories please.'

When Sirius moved, he saw the redness of his eyes, and the way that the corners of his mouth seemed to twitch uncontrollably downwards. But James still said nothing, and Sirius did not seem willing to speak while McGonagall was there.

She did not say a word when she left them at the portrait hole, and James did not linger. When he climbed the steps to the dormitory, Peter was sound asleep though still clothed; it seems he had tried to wait up for them and failed. James had locked himself in the bathroom when he heard the dormitory door open again and he stubbornly ignored the sound as he brushed his teeth and pulled himself into his pyjamas. His limbs seemed heavier than they were that morning and the buzzing in his ears had not entirely faded. Exhaustion drained him of strength and he rubbed his eyes sleepily.

It felt so strange to be so empty of emotion. It probably wasn't healthy, but he was sure that it was all that was keeping him from puking his guts up. Because the wolf's jaws were as visible in his mind's eye as they were in the seconds he had stared into them. The eyes, so familiar and yet so foreign...

Sirius was already changed when he returned to the dormitory, and looked towards him as he made his way back to his bed.

'James-' he said weakly. James was unsure exactly what he injected into the look that he shot him, but it was enough to silence him.

He didn't care how fearful, how guilty Sirius looked. He didn't care that he had almost been expelled. All he cared about were the events that had led to that moment, and the fact that they never should have happened at all.

Wordlessly, he climbed into bed and yanked the drapes shut behind him.