Felix

Being drug around the Florida suburbs by a cranky crossing guard was not Felix's idea of lucky.

It was Felix's sheer dumb luck that those muggers decided to jump him by the park. It's not like he had anything to give them anyway. All he had in his pockets was his D20, a silver dollar, and a deck of marked cards.
Usually when he was threatened with a mugging, something with a one in a million chance would happen. In Mississippi, the guy doubled over from food poisoning; Virginia, a fire escape fell open, knocking the guy out; Georgia, well, in Georgia he was able to get a few good hits in before leaving the alley.

For the last five months, Felix had been traveling across the western U.S. doing odd jobs to make enough to get by; flattening cardboard boxes in Mississippi, cleaning dishes in Virginia, pump gas in North Carolina, basic stuff. The only reason he never stuck around long was the fact that he usually wound up getting fired for under the table gambling and betting.

His travels had now brought him to Florida. There was just something about the Sunshine State just lifted his spirits and his luck.

Getting robbed in the park in broad daylight was not his definition of 'luck'.

He had just crossed the road into a park, passing by a short grumpy crossing guard checking his texts. It was as he was admiring the kids playing with their families that the big guy start to follow him. Used to having shady people follow him, he veered off towards a grove of trees, hoping to confront him there.

Once out of sight of the families, Felix rest up against one of the trees as the shady guy walked up to him. He was dressed in a black trench coat and hat, making him stick out in the Florida sun.
The guy spoke in a deep voice, "You put up quite the chase Demigod…"
Felix tilted his head, "Demigod? Look are you going to mug me or what? 'Cause if not, I have to go, I need to set-up-"

The shady guy snarled and threw a punch at the tree, as Felix barely managed to roll out of the way in time.
"What the hell-" Felix looked at shock at what he saw, the guy in the trench coat had not only hit the tree, he had knocked a fist-sized crater into the wood, "Okay…not a mugger. Please tell me that my dad didn't hire you. The guy can hardly keep a steady job, much less hire a P.I. with kung-fu skills."

"I care not for your mortal heritage Demigod," The monster growled at him. There was that word again, demigod. The way the monster said it, it was like he was expecting Felix to understand it.

"Look, I don't know who you are, but how about we part ways and pretend this never happened?" Felix started to back towards the park, he doubted that this gut would attack if he was around innocent families.

"I cannot just 'part ways' demigod. You reek of fortune and I have spent too long following that scent."

Felix did a double take, he couldn't have smelled that bad. He showered just last week.

"All I have to do is scream" Felix attempted to put on a brave tone, but was wavering, "People will hear."

He couldn't tell but it looked like the trench coat guy was…smiling, "Good…I like it when they scream."

Felix panicked and turned to run for the park, only to get tripped up on his own shoelaces and fell face first into the dirt. Rolling over, he saw the trench coat man raise a hand—no, claw to hit him with. As Felix tried to scoot back, he started to beg for one of his miracles.

What he wasn't expecting was a Stop sign come sailing through the air and nailing the trench coat man in the gut, slamming him against a tree. Stunned, he looked back to see if there was some kind of freak car accident, but instead he saw the crossing guard from earlier charging at him, giving off some kind of battle cry.

Rolling out of the way, Felix hid behind a bush and watched as the crossing guard retrieved his Stop sign and whacked the trench coat guy upside the head with the flat of the sign, causing Felix to cringe. If that trench coat guy knew kung-fu, then this crossing guard was Bruce Lee. As the trench coat guy got up and tried to slash at her with his claws, the crossing guard nimbly dodged each one, slicing at him with his Stop sign.

"HOLD STILL YOU RODENT!" The trench coat guy roared as he madly thrashed at him.
The crossing guard stopped and glared at him, "I'm not a rodent, I'm a goat." With that, he jumped up and lopped off trench coat guy's head. Maybe 'lopped' wasn't the right word, his head, body, and clothes just disintegrated into a pile of dust.

Felix blinked at what he had just saw. He had heard that heatstroke could make you see weird stuff. Yeah…maybe it was heatstroke. He'd pass out in a few minutes and he'd be rushed to a hospital…maybe-

"I know you're still here." Felix's thoughts were cut short by the voice of crossing guard who was now glaring at the bush Felix was hiding. He debated his choices. He could either run, beg for mercy, or hope another miracle happened. Before he could decide though, the crossing guard was in his face, "I don't know who you are, but I wasn't expecting another pick-up."

—
"You've got to be delusional…my mother died in childbirth." Felix argued from the back seat of the crossing guard's car. The grumpy crossing guard had introduced himself as Harold Bleetser and promptly drug Felix to his car and started to drive, explaining what the word 'demigod' meant.
"Thickheaded…not surprised…" He murmured, "Your mother was a goddess, your dad was a human. They fell in love, birds and bees, you came along, and your mom took off for home. Monsters can smell a demigod a mile away, how you manage to make this far on your own without knowing, I don't know."

Felix shrugged his shoulders, "Lucky I guess."

Harold glared at him in the review window, "I was only tasked to pick up two demigods today, you were not one of them."

Felix crossed his arms, "Just my luck… are we going to pick up these other two demigods now?"

Harold snorted as he turned he car into a subdivision, "Yeah, first one is here. Stay in the car no matter what you see or hear."

Felix was about to ask what he meant, but he had already parked the car and jumped out, his Stop sign in hand. Looking out the window, he saw that they were at a small, single story, beige house. Peeking over the front seat, he could see a small shed that Harold was heading towards. What seemed off was that there was a woman in a faded pink dress, but instead of legs, the woman had a serpent tail coming out from under her dress. The snake lady smashed in a window, not noticing the crossing guard come up behind her and drive the stop sign into her skull, causing her to disintegrate as well. Felix watched as the door to the shed opened and a boy who looked like he had a tube of paint sprayed on his face walked out, wide-eyed as Harold lead him to the car and had him go into the back seat.

Harold climbed back in, "Okay boys, hold on tight, we're going to Disney World."

The painted boy looked at Felix, a bit stunned before breaking the silence.

"I'm AJ. You smell like green and Lucky Charms."

And that's Felix. He started out more like a con artist, but it didn't feel right making him so dark. Next up, you'll see what Harold just fought.

Rioran owns the terms, OCs are mine.