Year of the Wolf
12. A Warmer Winter
Someone pushed against him, shaking him roughly.
'Wake up!'
Sirius groaned and curled into himself. It was too early, he just wanted to sleep.
'Sirius, wake up!'
Maybe if he said nothing, maybe if he just lay there, they'd give up and leave him alone.
'Come on!'
'Go away, Reg,' he groaned into his pillow. 'Get out of my room.'
'Padfoot!' The voice was suddenly harsh and had a definite tone of impatience to it. What's more, Regulus never called him by that name.
Sirius opened his eyes, and his memory righted itself. Of course, he was at the Potters', and had been since the evening of December Twenty-Third. He recognised this large and light room, with its many Puddlemere United posters and Gryffindor banners.
Yes, he lived here now. It was strange how he was still inclined to forget that, to feel that he was just visiting.
The light that shone beneath the curtains was that of a still-rising sun. Just how early was it?
'It's Christmas!' James reminded him.
He shot upright, and James grinned.
'That's more like it! Now come on! But we have to be quiet!'
Sirius was so used to spending Christmas with his family, and so felt no latent excitement for the day, but James's holiday joy had been so contagious that he had even found himself singing a few carols the previous night.
James held a finger to his lips as they crept off the bed, across the room and onto the landing, making as little noise as possible. This wasn't so difficult, what with the covering tune of morning birdsong. The soft carpet muffled the sound of their footsteps and even the stairs didn't creak. Downstairs, the old clock in the hallway ticked loudly, and blocks of light printed patterns against the floor.
Sirius had never spent a Christmas in the countryside. Though his old house had been in a largely residential area of London there was still rarely birdsong to greet him when he woke and the ambient sound of the street was footfall and chatter. Indeed, he was not used to rabbits and the occasional fox in the back garden. And one certainly never expected to see a gnome pressing its little lumpy face against the glass when they drew back the living room curtains.
'How do they get up there?' Sirius asked.
'I think they climb up the plants,' James said as he lowered himself to the gnome's eye level and stuck out his tongue - an action which the gnome, looking rather funny with a hat of fresh snow, mirrored. 'They're fun.'
There was a rather impressive pile of presents beneath the Christmas tree, but James ignored it and dragged him instead into the kitchen.
The smell was incredible. An aroma so sweet that Sirius felt his stomach ache in longing. There, on the bench, was the most mouth-watering cake he had ever seen. And it was so intricately decorated that it almost seemed a shame to eat it. Almost.
James looked at it with that same glint in his eye that Lily Evans often provoked, and he licked his lips in anticipation.
'What is that?' Sirius asked. He didn't really care, only knew that he may not survive the sweet rush of sugar and flavour when it touched his lips.
'Mum's Christmas cake,' James said in an almost whining voice of longing. 'She makes it every year, but she always decorates it differently.' This year, it appeared to be themed around the house, with a tiny little marzipan cottage surrounded by sugary, snow-topped trees. 'You have no idea what you're in for. Cake will never taste the same again.'
He reached very carefully for one of the leaves that ran round the base of the cake.
'I wouldn't do that if I were you.'
He pulled his hand back sharply, as though bitten, and turned sheepishly to his father, who stood at the end of the kitchen, leaning casually against the fridge.
'I didn't know you were up,' James said guiltily. Sirius tried to look as innocent as possible, as though he had been dragged into this against his will.
'Fifteen years, Jim,' Mr. Potter laughed. 'Fifteen years we've had you; I know your tricks by now. Invented some of them myself, actually.'
A soft thud against the kitchen window distracted them and they turned in time to see a pair of tiny hands scrabbling against the glass, before a softer thud and what sounded like muffled cursing followed.
'Ah!' cried James, and Sirius turned back to him to see him sucking on his finger, a full foot back from where he had previously been standing - evidently he had used the gnome's distraction to attempt to steal some icing.
Mr. Potter just laughed and ruffled his son's hair.
'She's got you all figured out too,' he told him. 'Didn't think she'd leave it out in the open, did you? I did warn you.'
'That's a rotten trick,' James fumed as Sirius laughed too.
'I'll go get her,' Mr. Potter said. 'She's probably awake now, we can open presents before you lose all your fingers.'
James inspected his perfectly unharmed finger and scowled at the cake as they left.
Sirius felt rather uncomfortable. The Potters had made him feel incredibly welcome in their home and in their family, but he wasn't sure that he was ready to watch a happy family Christmas play out in front of him. But he still put on a smile as Mr. Potter returned with his wife and they all settled down in front of the tree once the radio was on and the air was filled with Christmas cheer.
James didn't even wait to be told before he reached for his first present and tore into it, letting the paper fall in shreds around him. It was a new set of Quidditch robes from a family friend, and they looked rather expensive indeed. He was holding them up and grinning when Mrs. Potter spoke.
'You next, Sirius,' she said, and gestured, smiling, to the pile. Sirius just stared at her like she'd spoken Mermish or something.
When he didn't move, James sighed and deposited a neatly wrapped parcel into his hands.
He had presents?
When he looked towards the pile from which James had plucked it, he saw that there were quite a few with his name on them.
'You didn't think I was going to let you have a crap Christmas, did you?' James asked, nudging him with his elbow.
'He wrote to everyone the night you arrived,' Mrs. Potter explained proudly, and James turned a light shade of pink. Sirius felt like he could hug James right then, but there was the slight issue of the present in his hands.
Hang in there! read the label in a familiar neat script. It was signed Moony.
In his attempt to open the gift, he made James's carnage look rather civilised. Inside, he found a muggle model kit of a beastly black Harley Davidson, and he was only able to resist the urge to rip it open by James's reminder that there were more.
Together, with the occasional opening by one of the adults, they worked through the pile of presents. There was a big box of sweets from Wormtail, a broomstick care kit from Andromeda and Ted, and he almost lost himself in excitement when he ripped open James's gift to find a leather jacket that was very much his style. There was even a gift from Mr. and Mrs. Potter, and it wasn't their usual home-made cakes. Instead, it was a home-made scarf in Gryffindor colours with a matching hat. His parents would have hated them. He loved it.
Eventually there was one gift remaining for him, though James still had many left. And it wasn't a gift, really, it was an envelope. Intrigued, he reached for it and turned it over in his hands, finding his name and James's address printed neatly on the front. When he turned it over again, a chill ran through his veins.
'Don't open it!' James said, though he made no attempt to stop him.
The wax seal upon the back was imprinted with the Black Family crest. He had not expected anything from them, and a letter would hardly hold anything pleasant. But it did feel as though there was something inside, so he swallowed the unpleasant taste in his mouth and slid his thumb beneath the flap, breaking it open.
Sirius,
I hope that this letter finds you, and finds you well.
I am unsure how you will take this news, but I felt that you ought to know; Walburga removed your name from the family tree yesterday, in front of the family. Whatever transpired, whatever drove you away, I hope you find comfort in the fact that it is all over, they will not be coming after you, you are free to live whatever life you choose.
You are old enough and strong enough to take care of yourself, I know that, and I feel confident enough to say that the family has lost a lot more than you have through these events. You will, I think, fare far better without them and I am truly sorry that it came to this.
Please find attached my Christmas present to you - I took my leave for the afternoon yesterday to sort it all out. It is a key, to Gringotts vault number seven hundred and eleven - your new vault. It did not please me to think of you out there on your own with no money behind you, so I have furnished it with a little something to help you through the remainder of the school year. If you need any more, please do not hesitate to contact me; I am an old man sitting on a small fortune that is simply gathering dust.
If this letter has found you on Christmas Day, that means that you have done as I guessed and sought out the Potters. If this is the case, please extend my gratitude towards them for taking in my favourite nephew and wish them a very happy Christmas from me.
Take care of yourself,
Alphard
It was not cold, but his fingers were numb. Numb enough that James was able to take the letter from his hands and silently seek permission to read it. He did, and he read it aloud, his voice fading into the background as Sirius stood to walk into the kitchen.
Even the smell of the cake did not break through the haze. He knew that it was coming, knew that his name would not be on that tapestry into the new year. But there was something so real about reading it like that, about imagining the entire family standing around the family tree silent and approving as his mother raised her wand to his name. A final act of severance.
'Padfoot.'
James jumped when Sirius threw his arms around him, laughing like he hadn't laughed in days. He seemed startled still when Sirius pushed him back, hands on his shoulders, and grinned.
'I'm free,' he said. It was a wonderful feeling, like a big heavy door had closed on that chapter of his life, on the Blacks and Grimmauld Place. Suddenly, he did not feel so reluctant to enjoy himself or get comfortable in this new environment. He had closed the door on them and they had locked it.
This was turning out to be a very merry Christmas indeed.
The holidays turned very fun very quickly without the weight of the unknown hanging over him. Sirius had unpacked his belongings into the spare room next to James's, which the Potters promised to get a proper name plaque for in time for the summer, though he still slept in James's room (often simply falling asleep as they tried to stay awake together). James's parents had bought him a Nimbus One Thousand and One for Christmas, and though Sirius's was still at school he rode James's old One Thousand and they flew around the garden pelting one another with snowballs until Mrs. Potter yelled at them about their carelessness in the temperature.
The maple grove, they found, was a lot of fun for their animal counterparts, though James found the frozen ground a lot more tolerable than Sirius did. James talked about how beautiful the grove was in autumn, comparing the colour of the leaves to a certain female Gryffindor student's hair and lamenting that he hadn't seen autumn at The Grove first-hand since he started Hogwarts.
New Year came around and the Lupins and Pettigrews spent the night. The boys played hide and seek in the grove, and Peter won by transforming into a rat - an act that proved rather useful until he ran across an over-excited gnome and was forced to change back. They even managed to talk Peter onto a broom and ended the night by staring up at the moon, all acknowledging how differently they looked at it these days. Until their lazing about on the frozen grass was interrupted again.
'Dad, we have to do something about these gnomes!' James had fumed. Sirius had the suspicion that it was the same mischievous one, but didn't dare suggest this, lest they all end up on some gnome-hunting quest.
Mr. and Mrs. Lupin, and Mrs. Pettigrew, enquired as to how he was getting on at The Grove, and Sirius realised that he had forgotten for a moment just how he had ended up there. So he was honest, and told them that he was having the time of his life, that he had new parents and a new brother that were a definite upgrade from the last. Mrs. Potter tearfully excused herself at this, and Mr. Potter patted him on the shoulder in a rather fatherly way.
They visited Diagon Alley shortly before the end of the holidays, mostly for Sirius to check just how much gold Alphard had given him. It was a modest amount, and he was careful to leave some there for the summer, but Mrs. Potter had sighed and helped him scoop it all into his coin bag, telling him that they were buying his school things and ensuring that he had an enjoyable summer, so he should just take it all to spend in Hogsmeade.
James insisted on finding something for Lily's upcoming birthday, and he settled on a necklace that matched the green of her eyes. They ran into Mary Macdonald in the afternoon, emerging from Gringotts having changed all her Muggle Christmas money into wizarding coins, and she excitedly told them about her Christmas and how she and her parents were going to visit family abroad in the summer. They saw many people they recognised that day, and Sirius even saw a few members of his extended family, including Augusta Longbottom, who was chatting animatedly to a friend about her son's burgeoning career, and Molly Weasley with her two young sons.
They even, to Sirius's great delight, ran into his cousin Andromeda with her husband and their daughter as they were on their way for food, and the two families sat and ate together. Though they corresponded often, Sirius had not seen or spoken to her since she had married Ted and subsequently been disowned. Mostly, she expressed her astonishment at how grown up he was, and Ted asked how Quidditch was going. Little Nymphadora just sat there and threw bits of her dinner at James when he wasn't looking.
It was a little sad when they were forced to say goodbye, but they promised to keep in touch as always. And it was on the trip back to Hampshire that Sirius realised that there was a small part of him that was just the slightest bit unhappy about returning to Hogwarts. Because home life was so much better now, and the relief from the stress of the O.W.L.s was very much welcomed.
They woke early on the day of departure and both boys were still yawning as they slumped down the stairs with their bags after breakfast.
'Are we ready?' asked Mrs. Potter, fussing over them at the door. 'Got everything you need? Got your wands? Got your broom, James? Okay, let's go.'
They had a car purely for the school run, and Sirius had his nose pressed to the window for most of the journey. He could probably count on one hand the amount of times he had been in a car - they had usually just walked from Grimmauld Place. It was kind of a novelty to watch fields and houses and small towns flit past. It was so very Muggle, and it filled him with even more excitement over the impending purchase of his motorbike. Of course, now that he wasn't going to inherit any of the Black fortune, he may have to wait a while for that.
James and Sirius walked through the barrier at King's Cross together, Mr. and Mrs. Potter following close behind. The platform wasn't quite as busy as it was at the start of term and there were far less animals and school trunks so it was a lot easier to move. It didn't take long for the Lupins and Mrs. Pettigrew to spot them and lead their sons over.
It really wasn't until he saw his friends that he felt a sense of trepidation. He had barely thought about his relatives lately, but they would be there, and chances were good that their paths would cross. Perhaps that was why Mrs. Potter stood with an arm around him protectively as she chatted to Hope Lupin, and why the others were unusually quiet.
'Five minutes to go, boys,' said Lyall Lupin. 'Better get yourselves on the train.'
The arm around Sirius pulled him into a hug, the free one reaching for James. It was such an uncomfortable predicament that Sirius burst out laughing.
'Be good, both of you,' Mrs. Potter warned with a hand on each boy's cheek, but Sirius could not stop smirking. 'And I will see you in the summer.'
James ducked rather deftly as she moved to kiss him and he slid away laughing, apparently convinced that he had dodged her. But she grabbed the end of his scarf and pulled him back amidst fervent complaints with a devilish smile on her face. Sirius was too busy laughing to dodge his, and James began laughing openly and far too dramatically in his face. Sirius simply pulled his lips into a pucker and stretched out his arms towards him - that shut him up quickly.
'Are you sure you don't want to come home for Easter?' Mrs. Pettigrew asked her son.
Peter shook his head.
'Too much homework,' he said.
With goodbyes all said and done, they turned to survey the platform; Sirius could hear Remus calculating the quickest way to get on the train beneath his breath. But he saw them, and James saw them too; there was no way they would be able to get onto the train without passing them. And he was just a little bit angry that they seemed perfectly normal, and not the least bit torn up or in fact showing any sign that they had recently lost a son.
Perhaps Remus mistook his tremors for fear, because he put an arm around him and stared determinedly ahead, and James followed suit. Peter could not reach, so settled for a hand on Remus's back.
'Shall we do this, gents?' asked James.
'Let's do it right,' said Remus.
'We've got this,' chimed Peter.
Sirius felt his heart swell with affection for his friends, and when they took their first step forward he found that his mind was far from that couple and their departing son.
They were perhaps a foot away when Remus pulled suddenly on him and his knees buckled. It took all of his balance and upper body strength to keep himself upright and to grab Remus so that he too didn't fall. Peter, however, was another story; he seemed to be in the grips of a Dancing Leg Curse for a few seconds before he righted himself with a red face and a muttered apology.
People nearby had begun to stare and Sirius felt a horrible prickling at the back of his neck that told him his parents were too.
He laughed. Couldn't stop himself, really. There they were, trying to be all strong and march onward in solidarity, and Peter had tripped over his own effing feet and nearly brought them all down. Remus smirked, trying to hold back, but he too found it just too funny; Sirius could feel James's head against his back, his hands on his shoulders. Not a single one of them could breathe as Peter joined in, and when Sirius looked up and, through tears of mirth, saw the sour-lemon expression on Walburga Black's face, he knew that it was over, and it was only with James's help that he was able to make it onto the train, clutching the stitch in his side.
'Did you see her?' James wheezed when they were on-board, falling across the seats of their compartment.
'Pete. Pete. Worm-' Sirius just couldn't catch his breath, but he managed to find Peter, managed to slap him on the shoulder as a way of saying 'mate, that was brilliant'. And Peter looked rather proud of himself, as embarrassing as his accident had been.
It was just so them, so Sirius, and it was so inelegant and just a little uncouth; it was everything his parents had hated about him, and it had all happened barely two feet from them. He couldn't have asked for a better send off, couldn't have asked for a better way to raise the finger to them and say 'I'm okay without you, better even'.
The year ahead seemed like a much brighter one indeed.
AN - Thanks for reading! And thanks a hundred times over to the Guest, RodeoTown, PhoenixFireHope, redheadleela and Buttermilch for reviewing the last chapter :). If you enjoy what you have read, let me know and I shall keep it coming!
I was tempted to end it here because it was a rather comfortable place to tie things off, but there was so much more I wanted to cover in this story so it is not over yet! There's still another term to go :) As always, please review and I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter!