A/N: I'm so SORRY for the wait, if you were actually waiting. I was going to update last weekend, but I didn't like how it came out. It was just terrible and you guys deserve better. This one is still pretty terrible, but not as terrible as it could have been. In other news, I made a lot people very sad and a couple people cry last chapter...Yay? I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Also THANKS FOR READING. Please excuse my errors and things that straight up make no sense. I'm only human.
Chapter 8: What Have We Done?
Queen Idun POV
Come on already. I didn't know which was worse. Watching your daughter break down and try to end her own life. Or having to wait outside the infirmary. It's been two hours and the wait was killing me. Agdar and I were pretty much pacing outside the door, hoping for our eldest daughter's well being. Tick tock, tick tock. The ticking of the clock in the hallway was driving me crazy. It wasn't going fast enough. That slow tick tock tick tock, almost as if it was teasing me on purpose, with the goal of keeping me in suspense. Just ignore it.
I was still shaken by what I saw. The way she hit the wall, without a second thought. The bloody mess that were her hands, didn't even seem to bother her. The way she screamed in pain and the fact that it wasn't from her injuries. What really got to me was what she mumbled. How could she think we don't love her. Of course we do. We must have send wrong messages. Clearly the guilt from the accident all those years ago was killing her. I wish that I had been there her. For god's sake, I'm her mother. I should have known. It was so obvious now. She was always quiet and kept to herself. But we made her that way. She always had bags under her eyes, suggesting no sleep. But we never said nor did anything about it. And yesterday I noticed that she looked underfed, but I didn't even question it, other than making sure she ate all her food. And yet I took that as nothing. Her hair had grown long and I failed to noticed that as well. This was just like when Anna was born, only this time I had no excuse for neglecting her. I tried to pull her close to me, but she pulled away from me. My daughter not wanting me near her should have bothered me a lot. Why didn't it bother me? It should have.
When she kicked us out of her room, I took it as she was just being a teenage brat and she'll come around. The note she slipped that note under her door, give us reason to believe that she just needed space. So we gave it to her, simple as that. The only thing that was out of norm was that her eyes looked a darker blue, as she dragged us out. That same thing happened again at the table this morning, just before she broke down. As I thought of it more, they changed back when she stopped hitting the wall. She did looked surprised at her bloody hands, but not too much. Almost as if it was normal. It gave me a strong feeling something ominously similar like this happened when she kicked us out. She knew this would happen, I realized.
There was a loud noise that pushed me out of my thoughts. Just the clock marking the passage of an hour and the beginning of a new hour. I sat on the chair next to the door. We never believed her to be a monster. She must have felt that way because we made her push away that side of her. We didn't do it because we were afraid of her. No, it was because we were afraid for her. People tend to be afraid of what they don't know or don't understand and our Elsa was one of a kind. We didn't want anyone to know about her gift, for fear someone hurting her. I had read about the Salem witch trials and they didn't end well. The world was just not ready for her. Maybe someday, but not today. Because of that, we reduced the staff and had the gates closed. There were other reasons too, but I didn't like nor want to think about them.
"How long could it possibly take?", Agdar interrupted my thoughts. Agdar stopped pacing and sat next to me. Today was supposed to be a great day for her. We were planning to tell her that she no longer had to live in the shadows. To finally end her isolation. After saving Anna, we realized that our girls needed each other. There would still be restrictions on her powers, but not too many. And we were going to spend more time with her as well. We were going to tell Elsa after breakfast, but didn't get to it and now we pay the price for waiting this long. Agdar put an arm around me and I realized that I was trembling.
"She's strong. She'll pull through this.", Hearing him say that relaxed me. Suddenly the door opened and we both sprung to our feet. I wanted to look pass the physician but he closed door. He and his nurse assistant bowed.
"Your Majesty, we are-", He started to give thanks, but I didn't want to hear it and I wasn't the only one.
"Cut to the chase. How's my daughter?", Agdar interrupted. The physician looked surprise at his interruption, but gave a nod in understanding. He can't possibly understand how we feel. He turned to his assistant and gave her a nod.
"First off, no serious or permanent damage. The cuts on her hands weren't to deep, so they didn't require stitches and it doesn't look like she'll have any scars. If she does, they'll be barely visible. Her left hand was broken though, so now it's in a cast. It will remain that way for six to eight weeks. She had two fractured ribs. They are not completely broken, just little cracked. We feared it had damaged her lungs, but she's fine. She'll be bed ridden for the next two weeks. Not completely necessary, but it will give her time to heal properly. She is also very heavily bruised around the chest area, so moving will painful.", She informed us.
"Is that all?", I asked. He shook his head, sadly. Come on, that was a rhetorical question.
"One more thing you should be aware of. Although she's going to make a full recovery, there's no reason to think it won't happen again.", I let his words sink in. Oh Elsa.
"When can we see her?", Agdar asked. I couldn't wait any longer. If I don't see her now, I'll go crazy.
"She's still unconscious, but you can see her right now if you like. Just don't wake her. She needs all the rest she can get. Understand?", He said sternly. We both nodded. He stepped out of the way and opened the door for us to go in, my heart started pounding. I wasn't sure what to expect as we went in.
My eyes quickly fell on her. She had her eyes closed, with her eyelids somewhat dark. Her platinum blonde hair was in a loose braid next to her shoulder. She looked paler than usual. I couldn't see her body, because she had a blanket over it. I doubted she had any clothes under. When the ice started spreading throughout her body, she herself didn't freeze, but her dress wasn't so lucky. When we moved her, it broke apart. Thank goodness, there happened to be a blanket on in the room. After I had carefully wrapped her in it, Agdar carried her to the infirmary. Kai had gotten the physician, so he was ready to work on her.
I found myself touching her face. She felt colder than yesterday, her face still looked pained. I wish she would look peaceful, the way you're supposed to look when you sleep. I moved my fingers to her neck and rested them under her jaw. I needed to feel that she was still with us. I felt it, but it was faint and weak, whereas yesterday I felt it went sky high when I put my hands there to scoop her hair. I put my ear right above her nose. I panicked when I couldn't feel her breath. I suddenly felt it slowly and faintly. It was so weak and cold. I took a step back to get a full view of her. My eyes started to get watery. Here she was, broken, and all because I neglected her. All because I never needed her. All because I never showed her I wanted her. Maybe the tears were making me see things, but I looked at her and all I could see was the infant I held in my arms that night fifteen years ago. I saw that adorable toddler who loved to make it snow in her room. I saw that carefree little girl who loved to play with her sister. She was my first real treasure and I almost lost her. All because I never told her how much she meant to me. I held my throat, when I started feeling a sob forming. I felt arms around my shoulders.
"It's my fault too. Don't blame this solely on yourself.", Agdar said sadly. I wish I could turn back time and prevent this. I saw Elsa's eyes twitch a little. I half expected her to wake up, but she didn't. There was a soft knock on the door.
"Come in.", I said. Gerda walked in and bowed.
"Your Highness, Princess Anna just woke up and is as- demanding to see Elsa.", She said quickly, as if afraid Anna might come in and drop a bomb on her. Knowing Anna, I think she could if she wanted to. I had forgotten about her. I didn't want her to see Elsa during her breakdown, so I used a pressure point in her elbow to put her out. I was surprise it worked. It only worked about five percent of the time. She'll probably never trust me again. Her look of betrayal said it all, but I was still hoping that she would understand. And Anna wasn't the type to hold grudges. I had Gerda to watch over her, while Agdar and I tired to get Elsa to calm down.
"I'll go keep her company.", Agdar said. He left, but not before kissing me. I could feel Gerda tense up a little. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, so I pulled away. A few seconds later, I was alone with Elsa. Without thinking, my hand reached for the top of the blanket to I pulled it down. Should I? Might as will see the damage I did to her. I slowly and reluctantly pulled it down. I wasn't sure what to expect. This was the part she was clutching and where her those two ugly crack noises came from, this was the origin of her pain. Her whole chest was wrapped in bandages. Normally I would have felt uncomfortable at the thought of that old guy checking Elsa there, with her growing up, but he had been with the family since Agdar was a boy. And he's always been here, so we were all comfortable with him. He was also one of the few members of the staff who I actually trusted. I always kept a close eye on the ones who I had doubts about. Especially when they were around my girls.
He was also the one who treated Agdar's father's injuries, after a coup was attempted many years ago. Before I met met Agdar. It was unsuccessful, but it cost him his life. Agdar had a scar on his chest as a reminder and my sister-in-law wasn't present when it had occurred, so she was spared of the pain. At least the physical pain, nothing can stop the emotional pain. Agdar never talked about it, but I could tell he wasn't over it. He was a very reserved man and I think that's where Elsa got it from, but I think it was us who made her that way. Then again, how can you get over it? I looked down at Elsa. You have to get better.
I pulled the blanket all the way down to her waist. I saw that the skin just below her neck was a deep shade of purple. It looked like it came from her the area where the heart was located. I had always loved that color, but at that moment, I resented thinking it was ever beautiful. The purple had spread to the upper part of her stomach. She won't be moving much, even if she wanted to. It's going to be painful for her to get up. I put my hand on her upper stomach, over the purple. It was cold, in fact it was too cold. I quickly pulled my hand back. My whole hand felt numb. How can the cold not bother her?
I remembered when she was seven, she took Anna outside to play in the snow. Anna didn't want to wore a coat because Elsa wasn't wearing one. I forced her into it and when they returned, Anna was very sick. She refused to admit taking it off, though the nasty cold she got said otherwise. Even Elsa wouldn't admit it. It was cute how they stood together in their lies. I remembered overhearing Elsa telling Anna that if she wore coat, so would she. So Elsa dressed warmly from then on, even though she didn't have to, just to get Anna to do so. And Anna dressed warmly for the purpose of pleasing Elsa. I used to wonder if their relationship was normal, but I didn't dwell on it. Being raised an only child, I wouldn't know. Agdar had a sister who was about three years younger than him. He used to tell me that Anna and Elsa were better than okay, so I took his word for it.
I looked down took her heavily bandaged right hand. Around the knuckles, the bandages were a bit red. Marking where the blood came from. Her pale fingers were free from any damage and curled into her hand. I uncurled them which I found surprisingly easy. I intertwined my fingers against hers. I became afraid that I might stretch her cuts open, so I let go. Me eyes wondered to her arm. What in the world? There were thin, white lines on her forearm. They were barely visible, but that didn't stop them from being there. When and how did she get these scars? I inspected them closely. They weren't straight, they made these small curves. I counted and found eight. They seemed to move together, almost like a scratch. I slowly and gently moved my fingers over four of them. It didn't quite match. If she did this herself, then she would have had to use to her left hand. I ran my left fingers, it matched almost perfectly. It looked like she did this her arm two times. I didn't think she did this on purpose. Then again, she did try to impale herself with an icicle earlier.
I went to the other side of the bed to check her cast hand. The cast ended at her fingers. I gently turned her hand palm up to check for forearm. She only four here. I noticed that they looked more faint, like there was less force on these than the other arm. Her left hand seem to do more damage, as if it had more strength. Is she left handed like me? I fell guilty for not knowing yet again another detail about her. She already had my looks, did she have my habits too? I thought to earlier during breakfast. Yes, she must be. She used her left hand to grab her silverware. I don't know a thing about her, and it took her having an emotional breakdown for me to notice.
I started shivering. When did it get cold? I looked around the room for the first time and noticed there was ice forming on the walls. I looked at Elsa's pained expression. She was breathing hard and started mumbling 'stop'. I put the blanket back to cover her completely, all the way to halfway up her neck. She must be having the nightmare she mentioned.
"Elsa, calm down.", I whispered. I wasn't expecting her to respond.
"I...can't...", She mumbled, her eyes wide shut.
"Of course you can, focus on the sound of my voice.", I said in my soothing voice and moved a strand of hair that had fallen on her face.
"I want you to focus on what I say. Think of the snow falling outside. Let's count one hundred snowflakes together. Ready one, two, three, four, five...", I continued all the way to hundred. Elsa didn't count with me and I wasn't expecting her to. But she did seem to relax. Her face looked peaceful for the first time. The ice started to thaw and the temperature returned to normal around eighty. It worked, just like always. When she first started using her powers, the walls would freeze whenever she cried. It wouldn't thaw until she calmed down or was in a good mood again. Counting always calmed her down. She got better control of it when she was four. She actually got total control at that age.
"Who...are y you?", She mumbled. Is she really asleep? Ah who cares, just go with it.
"It's your mother who loves and wants you back.", I said calmly. I started feeling weird. A second later, I realized that it was guilt. Am I taking advantage of her? Yes I am, by getting her to talk to me while she's both unconscious and conscious at the same time. Reminded me of the time Agdar got drunk and told me things I really did not need to know. He didn't remember one bit about our little 'chat' and I couldn't look at him in the eye for a week.
"No...that's not...true. Sh she hates me...", She said sadly, her eyes moving under to eyelids.
"That's not true and she'll prove it to you when you wake up.", I found it hard to keep my voice from breaking. I hated that she had thoughts like that running through her head.
"Whatever...I no...lon longer care.", She said through gritted teeth. This caught me off guard.
"What do you mean?", I asked. I waited for a while, but she didn't say anything. Her breathing became steady and calm. She has fallen asleep for sure this time. I kept thinking about what she said. What did it mean? I decided not to think about it too much. She doesn't know what's she saying so it means nothing, hopefully. One thing's for sure though, I need to get her to open up. If not, this won't be the last time I sit here worrying about her.
I touched her forehead and it was cold. I went to the other side of the room and got another blanket, which happened to be thicker. I put it over the one she had on. Hopefully that will warm her up. I waited on the chair, staring at her.
I noticed it got cold again. I looked at her, but she looked fine. My eyes went to the window to see the snow falling outside. I saw the snow falling onto the courtyard, which Elsa had a good view of. I saw that Elsa also had a good view of where Anna usually dragged Adar and I to play sometimes. I had always felt I was being watched whenever I was there. I can easily imagine Elsa sitting here by herself watching us from here. I started crying at the thought of Elsa spending seven years of this. As soon as she's better, I'm going to personally take her down. I'll drag her if I have to. I won't let her spend time by herself ever again.
I looked at the black window pane and saw some scratches. They were all lines. Four lines were parallel to each other with a line across it diagonally. Two were next to them by themselves as if starting over. They added up to seven. What's so important about seven? I then realized that it has been seven years. She was keeping track, almost like a prisoner. I felt terrible for this. Decided I have had enough, I went and laid down next to her. I wanted to put my arm around her, but I was afraid I would hurt her more.
I don't remember falling asleep, but somehow I did. When I woke up, it was morning and the new sunlight was coming in through the big window. I saw that I had my arm over Elsa above the blanket. I noticed that I was closer to her, but I was in the same spot of before. So that meant that she had moved closer to me. I gazed at Elsa and she had a smile on her face. I can't remember the last time I saw this. This put me in a good mood.
There was a blanket on me as well. Agdar. I need to go see him. There was also a tray of food next to my bed. I ate it even though I wasn't hungry because I needed to keep my strength up. I wonder if Elsa's hungry? Probably yes, but she wasn't not awake. I stood and headed toward the door. I didn't want to leave, but I had needs I couldn't ignore. And the water I just drank wasn't helping. As I headed to the bathroom, I crossed paths with Agdar.
"Can't talk. Go stay with Elsa, I don't want her to be alone.", I said quickly, as I rushed around corner. After that was taken care of, I went back to where I was. Agdar was sitting on the bed, holding Elsa's hand. He got up and walked toward me.
"Idun, I want you to take a break and take care of yourself as well.", Agdar said, blocking my way. I tried to move around him, but he mirrored my moves. I sighed.
"Can't do that. Parenting is a full time job.", I said, crossing my arms.
"So is running the kingdom and you don't see me draining myself. And neither do you. Besides, I can take over for a while.", He said with so much reason. I don't know how he does it sometimes. I felt guilt at having Elsa all to myself. I put up my hands in surrender.
"Alright you win. I'll get some me-time so see you later.", I said and turned toward the door. He took my wrist and turned me around. He leaned in for a kiss. I leaned forward as well. As our lips were about to touch, I stopped and pulled back. He opened his eyes and gave me a questioning look.
"Sorry, me-time does not include husbands.", I said with my authority voice. He give me a puppy look.
"And for your information, that only works on me when it's Anna.", I said. I turned to leave, moving my hips the way he can't resist.
"Idun...", He started, but I shut the door. Oh Agdar, what am I going to do with you?
I went to my room and found a lump in the sheets. I walked over it and saw strawberry blonde hair sticking out from under the sheets. She must have slept with her father last night. I was going to wake her, but decided against it. I'll go take a bath and give her more sleep. I went to the bathroom and there was a bath ready for me. Gerda was always on top of things. After I had finished and looked presentable, I went over the bed where Anna still laid.
"Anna.", I whispered. She stirred, but didn't wake.
"Anna.", I said louder this time.
"Five more minutes plea...", She mumbled under the sheets. She's not waking unless I tell her something worth her attention. A grin spread across my face.
"Chocolate!", I said loudly. This got the job done. She shot up, wide awake.
"Where!", Anna said looking around. Then she realized I was the one who said it. She stared at me blankly. This was the first time, I had ever felt nervous around Anna. She crossed her arms and glared at me. She must still be sore at what I did to her. I can't say I blame her. I better make the first move, I thought to myself.
"Anna, I'm really sorry for what I did to you earlier.", I said in the most sincere way I know how. Her face soften, but still glared at me. Not quite there, but it's something.
"I promise I'll never ever, ever, ever do that ever, ever again. I truly am sorry and you have all the apologies I can ever give to you.", I said. She looked like she wanted to give in, but something was holding her back. Something she wanted to hear from me. It finally clicked.
"And I promise that you can see your sister Elsa whenever you want.", That sealed the deal. She gave me a warm hug. I held her in my embrace.
"Do you really mean that?", She whispered, looking at me with her adorable face.
"Of course." I said that, truly meaning it.
"Can I see her right now?", She asked excitedly. I wasn't sure about that.
"Yes and no.", She looked confused at that answer.
"Yes, you can see her and no because you can't see her right now. Maybe later.", I explained.
"Why not now?", She whined.
"Because your sister doesn't look too good and she wouldn't want you to see her like that. Would you like to be sick and have Elsa see you?", I asked.
"But if I was really sick and she really wanted to see me, I would let her. But you're right. I'll give Elsa her space.", She said.
"I'm so proud of you. So what do you want to do? Anything you want.", I told her.
"Let's go build a snowman outside, I think there's still some snow left.", She said running over to the window to check it.
"All right, go dress warmly and meet me by the door okay." I said getting up.
"Okay, just don't leave without me.", She said running out the door. I put on my winter dress and went to the door. Anna came a second later. I looked over her to make sure she was dressed for the cold. She was dressed in dark green and had black boots on.
"Gloves.", I told her. She huffed, but took them out of her pocket and slid them on. They were black as well. I motioned her head. She rolled her eyes.
"I's not that cold you know.", She said.
"I'm not taking chances, and if you want to go outside, you better put your cap on.", I said sternly, trying to keep a straight face.
"Who do you think you are, my mother?", She said playfully, putting her cap on. Once that was done, we went outside into foot of snow outside. Anna ran several feet in front of me. She scooped some snow in her hands and threw it at me. I dodge it, barely. Before I knew it, more snowballs were coming at me. Who knew she could throw accurately. Most of the ones I threw missed.
"I thought we were going to build a snowman?", I said throwing more snowballs.
"I changed my mind. This is more fun.", She said, hitting me in the face with one. I threw another one, but missed.
"Mama, you stink at this.", She smirked. All right Anna, you asked for this. I made a snowball and threw it straight at her, hard. It hit her straight in the chest and she fell back. She rolled to her side and moaned in pain. Oh no. I ran to her and knelt down.
"Anna, I'm so sor-", I started.
"Psych!", She yelled and the huge pile of snow she had gathered in her arms went right to me. I screamed, but the snow muffled it. I fell with my back flat against the snow below me. She went on top of me, pushing farther into the snow. She was laughing very hard.
"Anna, that was a very cheap shot.", I scowled, but with no heart in it.
"All is fair in love and war.", She said as it was obvious. I rolled my eyes, and her response was scooping snow onto my face.
"But don't worry, Elsa fell for that one too. It was very funny how she freaked out, but then she got mad wouldn't speak to me the rest of the day. Are you going to give me the silence treatment too?", She asked worriedly.
"I would never do that to you.", I told her. But you did to Elsa. Anna started gazing at my face sadly.
"What's wrong?", I asked, snapping her out of her trance.
"Nothing. It's just that here we are playing in the snow and you really look like Elsa. Especially with the snow covering your dark hair. I don't know, for a second there I thought you were Elsa and I was playing with her. But then I remembered she's not here.", She said, blinking hard. I sat up and pulled her into my embrace.
She started sobbing into my shoulder. Since she was already on my lap, I started cradling her, like when she was five. She sobbed and clung to me. All I could do was shush and whisper to her that everything was going to be alright. Reminded me of when she had nightmares about a month after Elsa moved out of her room. As I sat here in the snow, comforting Anna, I wondered if Elsa also had nightmares after moving into her new room. I had an ominous feeling that the answer was yes. Not once did I ever consider how she was holding out. She needed my support too and I never gave it to her. I always thought that Anna would have the issues considering she was the one who got hurt. Now I see that I was horribly wrong. I see now that Elsa was just as much a victim to the accident as Anna. It took Anna a while to calm down. But it didn't matter, I felt like I had all the time in the world.
"I'm sorry.", She whispered into my ear.
"You have nothing to apologize for anything. I'm really sorry for separating you and your sister.", I told her. She nodded slowly, wiping the last tears in her eyes.
"And don't you mean Elsa looks like me." I added playfully to lighten her mood. It worked.
"No, I think that you look like her, not that she looks like you.", She said smiling.
"Whatever you say Anna. Now let's go inside and get out of this wet clothes. I can't feel my behind anymore.", It was meant to come out as a joke, but it turned out to be true. She quickly got off me and held a hand to help me up.
"You know, I heard that hot chocolate is very good for that.", She said innocently. Nice try. I started dusting the snow off of me. I smiled at Anna. I put an arm around her.
"You are absolutely correct.", I said. She smiled eagerly. Time to burst her bubble.
"And so is taking a bath.", I added, much to her dismay. Anna opened her mouth to speak, but then her eyes looked curiously past me.
I turned around and saw a boy walking toward us. He had a reindeer walking excitedly behind him. He had a bit of shaggy dirty blonde hair under a black cap. He was wearing black from head to toe, like the ice harvesters. He looked about Elsa's age, but he seemed younger than her by maybe a year or two. I swear they get younger every year. He was holding an envelope in his right hand. As he got closer, I noticed that he trembling a little. I didn't think it was the cold. He stopped in front of us, his chocolate brown eyes looking at me nervously.
"Are you the queen.", He asked. He looked down at his shoes, suddenly hiding them interesting.
"Yes I am.", I started wondering how he got past the gates. I looked and saw four guards running up to get him. The boy didn't have time to react. Two guards started dragging him away, while the other two were trying to calm down the reindeer. The boy looked at me with pleading eyes. He looked like he might cry, prison isn't pretty. Whatever he has to say must be very important if he's risking that.
"Guards let them go.", I commanded.
"But your Majesty, this boy broke in after we told him to beat it this morning. He said he needed to hand you a letter. We told him we would give it to you, but he refused. Claiming that he to personally do it himself.", The head guard said.
"Sorry, I'm confused. Are you denying to follow my orders?", I asked, giving him a cold look.
"But your Majesty this boy is dangerous. Besides we can't just let him go, after breaking the law.", He said, standing tall.
"He is just a boy, not a threat. So let him go before my patience runs out.", I told him. They reluctantly did as they were told. The boy sigh in relieve when they were gone. He stepped forward and fell on his face. Anna giggled, but I shushed her. He got up with a red face. He's definitely no threat.
"I apologize for everything you went through. Are you alright?", I asked him. He blushed when I asked him that. He must not be around people too much if he lives in the mountains.
"Yes I am. I'm very sorry the trouble I caused, but this is important. I was sent here by Gran Pabbie, the elder troll, to deliver this note from him to the king and queen of Arendelle.", He said quickly. He handed it to me and turned around to leave. This was odd. I thought we were the only ones who knew about them.
"Wait, what's in it?", I asked as he was getting on the reindeer.
"I don't know, he didn't say. I'm just the delivery boy.", He said, looking at me.
"Well then have a safe trip.", I told him as he left.
"Will do. And thanks for not throwing in me in the dungeon, I owe you.", He said, and the reindeer started running fast toward the gates.
"What does the note say?", Anna asked. I watched as he went past the gates. If the trolls know him, our paths will cross again eventually. I should have asked for his name. I looked at the envelope. It was a light brown and there was a green seal on it. I opened it, took out the note, and read the nice handwriting.
Always remember that true love can bring out the best in people, no matter how frozen hearted or heartless they may seem to be.
"What does that mean, Mama?", Anna asked. I had a good idea of what it meant, but I didn't know why they sent this.
"It means that you should never give up on people. Anna, promise me you'll never give up on your sister.", I told her. She gave me a confused look.
"Mama I can't promise you that.", She said looking away. That scared me.
"Why not?", I asked, afraid of the answer.
"Because Elsa already asked me to do that for her.", She said taking my hand.
"When?", We started walking to the door.
"I don't remember when, where, or why. I just know I already did that for her.", She said, scratching the back of her head. One servant opened the for us to go in. Did Elsa know this whole time?
After three days, Elsa hadn't woken. But she had been stirring a lot lately, so she should be waking up anytime now. The physician would check on her at least twice a day, if not more. I was walking from the kitchen to the stairs up to Elsa's room. I was carrying this tea because it was good for colds, not that Elsa had one. I had gotten sick after playing in the snow with Anna. I wasn't too fond of it, but it helped. It made me all warm inside. Anna hadn't gotten sick for unexplained reasons, but it didn't matter because I hated seeing her sick. Her health was looking pretty good now, no longer feeling weak. She had visited Elsa yesterday for about an hour. She wanted to stay longer, but she had lessons to go to. It wasn't because she really needed to go, but to provide a distraction. She would get really sad whenever she saw her. Agdar had taken her to town today, so she should be too busy to be depress.
As I was reaching the bottom of the stairs, I saw an old clock there. It looked out of place for some reason, but then I realized that was the same clock that was driving me crazy the other day. Kai was there along with two other men. They all bowed when they saw me.
"What are you doing?", I asked them.
"Your Majesty, this old clock stopped ticking about an hour ago. So we are disposing of it.", Kai answered in his formal voice. I frown at that.
"Have you guys tried to repair it first?", I asked, impatiently.
"Yes we have, but this old guy has passed on. But seeing as to how that doesn't please you, would you prefer we set it somewhere just for display purposes. The library perhaps?", Kai asked.
"Yes, that sounds perfect.", I said smiling. I started going up the stairs. I didn't want that clock gone for some reason. I found myself to be upset at the thought of it breaking. This was strange since I never got attached to my possessions, expect for my wedding ring and one or two of my favorite books. I had finish my tea and one of the maids took the cup with I crossed paths with her. I started walking to the hallway to Elsa's room. When I got to her blue and white door, I hesitated before putting my hand on the door handle. Get a hold of yourself. You should be used to seeing her like that by now. I turned the nob.
When I opened the door to room, the bed was empty. I quickly looked and saw Elsa. She was standing, supporting herself against the wall, several feet away from the bed. Her entire left side was leaning against the wall, even her head. Both her hands were on her chest, holding a bed sheet that was wrapped around her. She was panting and trembling hard, with an agonizing look of pain printed on her face. Her hands dropped to her side and with knees buckling, she started collapsing to the ground forward. I quickly ran over to her. I caught her just in time. I put my arms around her and she gasped in pain, but I didn't care because I just prevented a much more painful disaster.
She was too weak, the only thing preventing her from falling was me supporting her. Since she couldn't stand, walking was out of question, so I carefully picked her up. She wasn't too heavy. I gently set her on her bed, but I didn't let her go. I sat next to her and held on to her trembling body, waiting for her panting to calm down. My right arm carefully around her and my other around her shoulder, pulling her closer to me, resting my chin on the top of her head. I could feel her cold skin through my dress. She's so cold. I thought to myself. Even her hair was cold. We stayed in that position for a while. I didn't want to let her go, but she started shifting under my hold. I slowly moved away, my hands on her shoulders. I looked into her blue eyes. There was something off about them, but I pushed that thought aside.
"What do you need?", I asked. She must need something to go through the struggle and pain of getting up. She suddenly looked down at her body. The sheet was still where she dropped it, so she was sitting there in all her gory minus the bandages covering on her chest. With a red face, she whined in pain as her right hand grabbed a pillow from behind and set it on top her. She hugged it furiously, burying her head in it with embarrassment. Her ears turned red as well. She didn't need to say why she got up. I could see now that she was trying to walk to the closet.
"Sit tight, I'll get you something.", I told her getting up. I picked up the sheet and put it over her, trying to spare of anymore humiliation. I walked to her closet and got her a turquoise nightgown, it had long sleeves but shouldn't interrupt her hands, and some panties while I was at it. I had been meaning to dress Elsa, but I didn't dare move her. She just seemed so fragile, but at least awake, I'll know if I hurt her. When I went back, she had the sheet tightly around her. Only her cheeks her pink, no longer her whole face red.
"Elsa let go of the sheet.", I instructed. She didn't move, avoiding my eyes.
"If you could this yourself, I would let you. But you can't. Just swallow your pride and let me help you. I've already seen you even without the bandages. Besides, I'm your mother. Who do you think changed your diapers?", I asked her. Her response blushing deeply and burying her face in her knees. She whimpered in pain a little when she did this. I sighed. This is going to be a challenge.
"Elsa, come on. Let's get this over with." I said, putting a hand on her shoulder. She wouldn't do it.
"Your father and Anna will coming to see you soon. And I highly doubt you'll want them to see you as you are now.", I told her. She blushed and with eyes close, she pulled the sheet down in defeat. Ice started forming on the wall. I struggled to not cause her too much pain. When I was done, she looked relieved. Her mouth to speak, but no voice came. She put a hand over her throat.
"Water.", She managed to whisper, after clearing her throat. Her voice was very raspy and barely audible. I went over the cart that was by the door. There was a few glasses and a pitcher of water. I poured some into a glass and gave it to her. She took it with shaky hands. It started to spill a little from the shaking it, so I helped her hold it. She drank it all in one gulp. She had two more before deciding she had enough.
"Thank you.", She said, somehow without stuttering. Her voice was louder and almost clear.
"For everything.", She added, her cheeks turning pink.
"My pleasure.", I said. Sitting on the bed next to her, I cautiously pulled her into my embrace. She flinched at my touch, but didn't pull away. I carefully lifted her onto my lap and held her close. The way I never did after years of neglecting her. Her head rested on my shoulder. She started blinking a lot, holding it down.
"Elsa, it's okay to cry you know.", I said softly.
"I can't.", She whispered.
"Elsa, crying is not a weakness. It just means that you care, that you have feelings, and that you have a heart.", I told her.
"Mother, you don't understand. I can't.", She said sadly. I felt my blood run cold, I looked at her in horror. I finally saw what was off about her eyes. They somehow looked more icy blue and they looked hollow. These were the eyes that I imagined seeing when the elder troll told us some very frightening information about Elsa.
"Please no.", I felt tears in my eyes. I quickly put my ear against Elsa's chest. It took about a minute for me to hear it. That slow, freezing heartbeat. "Everyone is capable of great things and of great evil. Take very good of your eldest daughter and beware the Frozen Heart." The words of the elder troll regarding Elsa rang in my head very loudly. It was as if it was only yesterday that I heard them, not seven years ago. Now I understood why he sent that message the other day. I looked at Elsa's sad, understanding face. My god, what have we done?
A/N: I hope you guys are enjoying my very cliche story. School is hitting me hard. I'll try my best to update by next weekend, if you're still somehow interested. What else...Oh yeah, I going to try to correct the errors in the other chapters throughout the week. So if it says updated, but no new chapter, that's why. Til next time.