A/N: I AM GOING TO REPLY TO MY REVIEWERS BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE FUN AND I AM SUPER BORED. AND THANK YOU COOKIE EGO BOOSTER GIVERS (plus alerter people. be on the alert.). AND ENTER INNER SAKURA. And yes. This chapter is kind of…ick. As in not funny because I've had a bad day.

disclaimer: Well would you look that that? I don't own an emo ninja, a pig, OR a huge ginormous toad.

lito-pink-chihuahua: D Wish granted.

les-liaisons-dangereuses: I love AkaSaku too, so the appearance will be definite! And do not fear, avenger Sasuke will come again.

superpanda: Yes. I am pairing Sakura with almost every guy in the series (except for Naruto, because he has Hinata, but if you really want me to do Naruto, somebody can ask me).

sasusaku12: ItaSaku is one of my fave. pairings and jealous possessive Sasuke makes me feel happy inside.

blossoms14: XD Yes, Sasuke is quite (COUGHSUPERCOUGH) weird.

Inu-ru831: You're so nice. And Sasuke will always be jealous.

reader713: No. But he will find out soon. And he'll probably still go with the plan to make his little otouto mad. But I'm probably going to put in some filler chapters for the less important people out there (BUT THESE WILL BE IMPORTANT).

tragic serenade: 3 THANK YOU.

it's the beautiful things: a sasusaku [slight AU

chapter3title: she is likin the eggs
genre: humor/romance
warnings: well. cursing always happens. it's rated T. and it's kind of perverted. AND I HAVE BAD GRAMMAR (English isn't my first language)!
things: Sakura is moving on (REVENGE, SAKURA, REVENGE) and is choosing a certain Hyuuga for seduction:D

and the plan returns

Oh Kami-sama.

There is my ex-boyfriend. Eating my tomatoes (as gross as it may sound).

Avert your eyes, chimed in Inner Sakura. I turned my head and she screamed, OH HOLY MOTHER OF…

Itachi's chest.

Itachi's bare naked chest.

I am a fucking teenage girl with hormones.

HIS PARENTS ARE RIGHT HERE!

I laughed at my subconscious before reanalyzing the situation and realizing that I was flaming RED.

I could jump him to make Sasuke jealous.

No. He wouldn't care. He's Ino's bitch now, not mine. Not mine, not mineIno's. You're moving on, moving on, moving on like a WOMAN!

So Itachi, being the nice little ANBU Captain that he is, let me stay here for the night as we created evil plans (for me to move on. Because that is so the top priority now.). Of course, being the spoiled hog he is, he also had to NOT GIVE ME ANY BLANKETS in the freezing night (of course I stole them from him after a little wrestling in the middle of the night; he's really…strong when he's asleep) and I HAD TO LISTEN TO HIM MURMUR something about…Neji?

OH SCARY, HOT THOUGHTS.

I'm sure I want to know.

"Ohayou," I greeted, before tending to my eggs.

My precious eggs (no, not the ones in me, the ones on my fucking plate).

And then I look up.

Right into his face.

AND OH I THINK I'M MELTING.

I LOVE HIS EYES.

Of course, you could look at any other Uchiha male and see them too, but yeah, these eyes have always made me melt…

…

But I am moving on.

Yeah. I am totally doing that. As a matter of fact, I am going to go to the hospital son and announce to the whole (medical) world (of Konoha) that I am looking for a date. And a damn good date.

I have pretty high standards.

Like preferably not someone who will dump me and then start dating one of my best friends?

Yeah. But I'll go look for a boyfriend when you know. I stop melting.

Think of Orochimaru. Orochimaru. Orochimaru.

OH EW!!

Who knew that sixteen-year-old minds could work like…just…ew.

At least I'm not thinking about Sasuke anymore. Not about Sasuke and the pathetic little piece of shit he has grounded me into and how I've resorted to groveling in my head.

No.

I will not grovel.

I will never beg or plead for his our relationship back. I may lust after him, but I assure you there will be no more love for Uchiha Sasuke.

Except for from like…Ino and his fangirls.

(And me. But not anymore.)

(Well, give it a couple of days.)

"Sakura-chan, dear, would you like some more eggs?" Mikoto asked sweetly.

Oh Kami-sama.

I wish she was my mom.

But damn, I have to go to the hospital. Because then I get paid. And then I get experience. And money is good. I live by that. (And with experience, there is a 50 chance lower that I will get yelled at.)

"I would normally, but I have to go to the hospital," I answered, standing up. "I have to tell you that your eggs are great, though."

Yes that is fucking right.

Her scrambled eggs are the single most delicious thing on the earth, which partially scares me (because shouldn't ice cream be?).

"Then take some!" she grinned maniacally and I was almost scared.

But then she handed me the eggs (in a Chinese-style take-out box).

And then I looked up.

AND HOLY SHIT IT'S SASUKE.

So thus I ran out of the mansion straight to the hospital with chakra in my steps.

"Ohayou Haruno-san, there are three unserious victims in the ER Room that you can tend to right now," said the chipper blonde-haired medic-nin at the receptionist desk.

She was … too happy. I daresay … optimistic.

"They're quite stubborn."

Whatever, medic-bitch, we can handle them! SHANNARO!

Oh yes, Inner is extremely nice to my fellow colleagues.

I looked down at the clipboard and started walking down the hall to the first room. When I opened the door I saw a tattered, beat-up, pride-swollen Hyuuga Neji.

I was tempted not to laugh.

Okay.

Be professional, now, Sakura.

Oh goddamnit why didn't I choose an easier career?

I cleared my throat in that oh-so-professional way that I can because I am a professional. "Hello, Hyuuga-san," I said, pacing towards him.

At this point in time, I imagined he would be scared.

Because when I walk, you all know what that means.

I scare.

But no, he is keeping (or trying to) a stoic face. He has three deep, bloody, gashes on his left arm, his right leg is almost cut open, and his stomach has a big gaping hole.

How is he even fucking conscious?

And this is unserious?

"It's not really that bad," Neji stated, as I began to heal his stomach.

"I see Naruto didn't use a very painful version of the Rasengan, ne?" I grinned, as his stomach stopped bleeding. "So what happened?"

"Hinata," Neji bluntly answered.

"Just let them be," I answered, closing up the major gash on his leg. I flipped through the clipboard again and looked at the other two names. "So…did you beat up Shikamaru for associating with the…clouds?"

"Mistake."

Oh like hell it was.

"Totally," I replied, biting on my lip. "Yeah. Well I cleared up the major wounds, but you should let the arm gashes heal on their own and don't do anything stupid."

"Are you implying I do stupid things?"

No, I'm implying that you're on crack.

NO. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FLIRTING, NOT CHASTISING HIM.

"Yes. Like, for instance, when you ran into that tree."

"That was your boyfriend."

"Ex-boyfriend."

"Ah. You broke up with the jackass?"

"He broke up with me. And now he's with Ino."

"…"

Fucking bastard's even worse than Sasuke at consolations.

"Okay," I said, as I finished healing him. "I've got to go tend to Shikamaru and Naruto then!"

"Tomorrow. 7 PM. Hyuuga Estate. Be there. Dress okay."

…

OHMYGOD!

I JUST GOT ASKED OUT!

FIRST THE DELICIOUS EGGS AND THEN A DATE!

OH MY FLIPPING FUCKING KAMI-SAMA I LOVE YOU.

I nodded (I was not blushing, I repeat, I was not blushing) and rushed out of the room.

I healed up Shikamaru and Naruto and then it was my lunch break. I heated up the eggs that Mikoto gave me. Life was good.

And I'm likin' these eggs.

A/N: MEH. I finished up this chapter yesterday but … I was tired. I almost failed a test and… yeah. I'm a little down in the dumps.