A/N: SPLASH! I've had a great day. Well. Not really. It's been more average so-so like yeah. I will give you a chapter. Before I have to go work on yet another project…OAFGLASFGK! I KNOW YOU GUYS WANT IT, BUT THE DATE WON'T BE IN THIS CHAPTER. NOR THE NEXT. I AM GOING TO PAIN YOU. NEXT CHAPTER IS (THE VERY NUMBER ONE SPECTACULAR) SUPER-IMPORTANT FILLER. I hope you don't kill me . . . This chapter was kind of bordering shitty and is filled with lame-ness. Not quite as long as intended. Because I am writing my own stories.

disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

blossoms14 – The Neji I own is full of surprises. He is on the long list of Sakura's future bachelors:D

EmeraldEyes69 –MEEH! THANK YOU! D For that you get. You get. Er. Right. :D

Inu-ru831 – KOOL. Neji/Sakura's date is postponed. BUT I'LL GET TO IT SOON, I PROMISE.

deedee2034 –Hehheh.

Rae Ahn Mae - D HERE YOU GO!!: 3$#$(#)E

sasusaku12 – Crazy good. Eggs are the epitome of cool. &Sorry…date won't be until chapter #6. . . I'm guessing/planning-ish. Neji. Well. You'll have to ask someone else about that…sadly.

it's the beautiful things: a sasusaku [slight AU

chapter #4
title: he is appalled, just appalled
genre: humor/romance
warnings: well. cursing always happens. it's rated T. and it's kind of perverted. AND I HAVE BAD GRAMMAR (English isn't my first language)!
things: NYAA. Sasuke is a possessive bastardly awesome manga character. Be nice. And I wasn't bashing Sasuke. Sasuke was bashing himself. AND DEWD. SAI IS OOC BECAUSE IT FITS. THANK YOU.

my toes love me

I have just received a message from the dobe about Sakura (my Sakura). Maybe she has forgiven me and will take me back as her (secret) lover. I mean. I will take her back (Now that I think of it, Sakura told me she had a problem with my pride. I wonder what she was talking about.).

So I'm walking out of the Uchiha Mansion/Compound/Place thing and heading out to Ichiraku where Naruto always is because he is a ramen-obsessed Hinata-loving idiot. And I'm passing all these places.

Yeah.

Because I can.

OKAY. Sitting down next to the dobe.

OKAY. Trying to ignore his slightly (very very very very very very loud) slurping, NOT unsuccessfully (…but what the hell is that nasty sound that he makes every few seconds when he swallows? Is he burping?). Because I am never unsuccessful.

"Hn."

"OI! SASUKE-TEME! IT'S YOU!" he bursts out.

Yes, you fucking dumbass, it is me. You should be goddamn down on your knees for ignoring me too long.

Instead, I say, "Hn."

(And no, not just because it makes me sound cool. It also makes me feel cool.)

"DID YOU HEAR? ABOUT NEJI-TEME AND SAKURA-CHAN?"

I'm not a gossip. I may snoop around at the market looking for the hottest gossip but that doesn't mean that I am one! Those old women are just abnormally…loud. AND NO, I DID NOT HEAR THAT JIRAIYA IS COMING OUT WITH A NEW INSTALLMENT THIS YEAR. NO I DID NOT.

I look at him in that weird (cool) way that I can, and say, "Hn?"

(And no, not just because I have a very bad, I mean, mundane, vocabulary. I just…WOULD YOU JUST FUCKING GET OFF MY BACK ABOUT IT?)

And then I look at the sakura tree behind the dobe's head while he talks. AND NO I DID NOT GET SENTIMENTAL AND THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES THAT I HAD WITH SAKURA.

"…and so you know how…"

Alright, blocking out the dobe.

"…so then he was like," OH NO, Naruto is going falsetto, "'OH KAMI-SAMA, SAKURA! I LOVE YOU, SO WILL YOU LET ME ESCORT YOU TO THE WONDERFUL WONDER THAT IS A DATE?'"

Wait.

WHAT.

(And Sakura said something about me being ignorant too…these things just come popping up out of NOWHERE. I'll have to look into this.)

"Hn, dobe. What'd Neji say?"

"I said he said," the dobe reverted to the high-pitched voice again, "'OH KAMI-SAMA, SAKURA! GO ON A DATE WITH ME OR I WILL TAKE YOU RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW, NO QUESTION!'"

…My ears.

MY GODDAMN FUCKING EARS!

I have very precious ears. They're…much more beautiful than some parts of me (COUGH MY HAIR COUGH). I mean, they're not even pierced and they have these natural…

"SO I THINK WE SHOULD BEAT UP NEJI FOR ASKING SAKURA OUT ON A DATE!"

…

I agree.

"Hn," I respond.

(And not just because ITACHI started doing it. I don't give into peer pressure…much. I mean, the whole ninja thing was a given!)

"KAKASHI-SENSEI WILL AGREE!"

Even though the pervert isn't really our sensei anymore…it just sounds weird to call him senpai. I mean, he's always at least an hour late. And he reads Icha Icha in front of us.

(AND HE DOESN'T LET US READ THEM.)

I mean, ew, pervert.

"AND SAI-TEME AS WELL!" the dobe said.

Sai's pretty much Sakura's older brother. He calls her hag and she punches him. It's cute (Sakura. Not Sai.). Despite how they seem not to get along, she kind of broke his emotionless Root façade.

"When?"

"THEY'RE GOING ON THE DATE TOMORROW! TOMORROW, TEME! DO YOU KNOW HOW LITTLE TIME THAT IS?"

I rolled my eyes (in a very manly way, if you haven't heard). "Yes, dobe."

"I'm going to find Kakashi-sensei and Sai-teme! If he calls me dickless one more time I'm going to beat the shit out of that…"

…

It has sunk in.

(AND OH MY KAMI-SAMA I WILL RISK SOUNDING LIKE A GIRL BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK? SAKURA, MY SAKURA, IS GOING OUT WITH ANOTHER MAN? I KNOW I DUMPED HER AND I'M DATING SOMEONE ELSE, SUCH AS HER BEST FRIEND, BUT ISN'T THAT A LITTLE HARSH, EVEN AFTER WHAT I DID?)

"…because I MEAN, I HAVE A…"

…

Someone needs to stick a tranquilizer dart down the dobe's throat before I kill him.

"…AND YOU KNOW I AM A GUY! I AM A MAN! AND I HAVE…"

Oh no, not with the manly man speech. That's my speech.

"NO, dobe! Pull your pants up!" I shout (not screech, Uchihas do not screech).

And thus my eyes and ears are scarred (thanks to Naruto). Then I follow him (no, he did not drag me) to find Kakashi, who is lazily sitting in one of the training grounds doing things that are not training, and Sai, who had just come back from an (A-Class) mission and somehow had the strength to be drawing with his (nearly broken) hand. I mean, I could do that. I could (totally) do that.

And then I see Sakura talking to Neji at Ichiraku's.

And I have to say…

I am appalled, just appalled.

A/N: Okay. Was it funny/long/cool-ish-like-ness enough? Well. Review for the sake of SasuSaku (unless you don't like SasuSaku, in which then you can review for the sake of whatever you'd like).