(A/N: Hello hello! Sorry about the long wait, everyone. I've been very busy lately with some original stuff, and I neglected Loss of Me a little bit- my bad! I'll warn you all before I do it again. ; ) There were a lot of reviews asking if Loss of Me is going to be Skate or "have any skate". What's skate? Polar bears aside, I seriously doubt anyone's going to be doing any skating.

-Locked Heart Ami)

Chapter 7

FLASH

Baby, I'm tied to a tree in a jungle of mystery.

Shut up.

I don't buy it. The act. You try too hard, Sawyer.

Shut up.


And WHY am I getting the evening news from a six-year-old?

Oh, shut up, shut up, shut UP. He pressed the damp T-shirt to his aching head, trying to block out even the dim light of the caves, groaning in frustration, and was quickly jerked to reality when somebody gasped back. He quickly pulled the wet cloth off his eyes, sitting up, and his heart jumped a little when he saw it was Claire, staring at him as if he was the ghost and not the haunted one.

"S-sorry," she said, starting backwards and holding Roo a little closer to her chest protectively. "I- ah- I didn't know you were- didn't realize it was you. I'll come back later."

"No," he blurted out, raising his hands quickly, they're empty, you're safe. He wasn't sure how Claire would react, but he didn't want to go around terrifying her with the mere fact of his existence. "No, it's okay. Please- it's all right."

"It- ah- kinda looks like you want some privacy," she said evasively, shifting her weight and looking anxious to be gone.

"Why would I go to the waterin' hole if I wanted privacy?" he said lightly. "Hell, I was just lookin' for somewhere to ease up this headache. Couldn't find the hot springs so I had to make due here."

She smiled weakly, not meeting his eyes. "Yeah, well, I'm not sure you'll be finding hot springs any time soon. I mean, if you do, let me know." There was a brief pause. "I, ah, was just getting some water," Claire finally said, and Sawyer politely ignored the fact that there wasn't much else to do at the waterfall. "I won't bother you long. Kinda need more than everyone else. Just, ah, you know… Aaron…."

"That's his name? Your boy?"

A smile that didn't touch her eyes flickered across her face as she slowly knelt by the spring and filled a mason jar, her wary gaze never leaving his. "Yeah, Aaron. Well, Charlie calls him Turniphead, sometimes."

"Truly unfettered artistic creativity," Sawyer replied. "He the father? Charlie?"

The still-lingering smile froze and vanished. "Ah, no, not exactly. I was on the plane alone. His father and I- really, ah, aren't-"

"Sorry. Touchy subject. None of mine." Damn, couldn't get much more foot-in-mouth than that. "Only asking because, uh, I-" he cleared his throat- "I wanted to apologize. For what happened before."

She watched him.

"I'd never have actually hurt you. I mean- yeah, I was mad-" hell, was still mad "But I draw a line. I wouldn't've hurt a kid and I'd never've hurt YOU. I- just wanted you to know that. And, uh, say sorry. Sorry."

She seemed to weigh him with her eyes, turn him, test him. Then-

"Must've been pretty scary," she said softly. "I guess it all- happened pretty fast."

"Well, there weren't any coffee breaks," he replied, smiling slightly, very hopeful that he was making some headway. "Coulda used one. I got a helluva headache."

"You're still- wow. That's a pretty bad headache. Is that why you're here? With… ah…."

"Nah, I just happen to enjoy going around with a T-shirt over my head. It's a hobby."

She laughed and this time her eyes lit up as well. She looked about to- but no, eyes darted back towards the shelters. "Well, ah, if you've got a headache I don't want to bother you. I mean…" she looked down at Roo. Turniphead. Aaron. "He's not always this quiet."

"No worries, Kanga," he assured her quickly, moving over slightly on the rock seat he had taken by the waterfall- making room. "You're a distraction." Pause. She didn't look convinced. "Hell, I feel loads better now. You got the voice of an angel."

He grinned as she laughed, surprised and pleased and, watching her face, he decided to press his luck. "C'mon, Gabriel," he said, patting the rock beside him. "Stick around a while."

She hesitated- glanced at Aaron- then her look changed and she slowly picked her way around the pool, towards him. She looked skittish as she sat down, a little tense, but she relaxed as they talked and Sawyer found himself admiring the playful, compassionate spirit that showed through her shell.

"Didn't think Charlie coulda been the father. You'd have to be a brave woman to introduce THAT to your gene pool."

"Nah, I only met Charlie here- you know, when the plane crashed. He was… really nice to me. I… I, ah, I lost my memory too," she said softly. "When The Others took me. Jack and the others found me and I didn't even remember any of them."

"Whoa, whoa," Sawyer said, every fibre suddenly tensed and alert, and trying not to show it in his voice. "Slow down. What happened? What happened to you?"

Claire shifted her grip on Aaron, who was beginning to wake up. She looked down, away- as reluctant to tell the story as Sawyer was eager to hear it.

"There are more people on this island," she said softly. "We call them The Others. We don't know who they are or why they're here but- they- they actually, ah, kidnapped me at one point." Let out a nervous little giggle. "But… ah… they let me go, I guess- my memory's still not too clear on that point- and Jack and Charlie found me, and I didn't remember anything. Not after what happened on the plane."

Sawyer stared. So that was why they were keeping here- they thought he was one of these "Others"? But- no- that wasn't it, Jack had said- what had Jack said? It just- it didn't make any sense. None of this made any sense. "Yeah, there are other people on the island." He said slowly. Dharma- hell, he should know, they'd put him into quarantine. "But I- I don't think they know you all're here."

"Oh, they know that we're here," Claire snorted. "I'm living proof of that."

With an effort he held his tongue. He'd come back to that later. He backtracked instead. "But your amnesia. It just… disappeared? Your memories came back on their own?"

"Well, Jack and Charlie helped me," Claire said. "I really wasn't sure what was what at first and they kind of filled me in. I mean really- aside from the… uh… well- I was really a bit like you."

And as he looked into Claire's friendly and smiling face, something inside him went cold, just a little. Any way he figured this it didn't make a lick of sense. Claire'd lost her memory too. Had she been an unlucky soldier, like him? Had Jack and his camp brainwashed her somehow? But no, that was impossible, he'd seen their camp, they really had crashed. But they were saying that he had, too. But he couldn't be- he worked for Dharma. But… but…

"But… Claire," Awkwardly. "Are you sure… uh…."

And then little Aaron woke up and prevented him from asking whatever he had intended to ask (and even he wasn't sure what that was.) Claire frowned, bouncing the squalling infant, trying to calm him down. Finally she turned to Sawyer. "Hey, would you say something? Your voice, ah, usually helps."

Sawyer raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, Kanga. I'm no good with kids."

-And to his amazement he realized the child was quieting. "Keep going!" Claire urged. "Say something, say anything!"

All right. I like that thing a lot better inside than I do outside!

"I feel sick," he blurted out, and Aaron cooed and went to sleep.

"Too bad," said Claire with a smile. "But thanks for your help."

"Uh… Claire. How did you know that…."

She smiled wider, but instead of answering the question- "You know, Sun could help you with that headache."

"She the Korean chick? What, is she mining aspirin?"

"No. She's got a garden."

"Don't think eucalyptus is going to help much in my case," Sawyer said. "Sayid's getting my medication. I'll be fine. Anyway, it's only half the headache- the false memories are the real bother."

Her expression struggled and settled into something he couldn't recognize. "That's what the medication does? Blocks memory?"

"It blocks the FALSE memories. Keeps 'em out of the way," Sawyer corrected. "Supposed to help the real ones come back, too, but that hasn't happened yet." He looked away from Claire's clear gaze, unnerved. "Hell, Kanga, don't look at me like that. We can't all remember everythin' on our own."

"I wasn't on my own!" Claire said. "I had Jack and Charlie. Oh- and this." She dug in her pocket and pulled out a shiny white object.

"What's that?"

"A quartz crystal. Don't laugh!" She said indignantly as Sawyer started to, unable to help himself. "I had it in my bag, in my luggage. With my astrology things and my incense and all my other crystals. They were supposed to- ensure a safe flight," she finished, and unwillingly began to laugh herself.

"Don't tell me you're one of those fluffy new-age chicks," Sawyer managed, chuckling. "I mean- the travel-safety thing didn't exactly work, did it?"

"No," she admitted. "But white quartz is for memory and clarity and purification- and I've got my memory back, don't I? So they must work a bit. Hey, here." She held the quartz out in an offering hand. Sawyer looked at it, unconvinced. "C'mon, take it. Maybe it'll help you."

"Maybe it'll turn my skin green." Sawyer retorted. "I really don't see how a rock could help me."

"Sawyer… uh… Sawyer." She said firmly, ignoring her lame beginning. "This desert island contains polar bears and Virgin Mary statues and hatches with you inside of them. Strange things happen here. And I- I escaped kidnappers, acted as live bait and delivered my own baby on a deserted tropical paradise. Give me a little credit to know what I'm talking about."

Pause. The crystal glittered, sparkled. Then-

"Fine," he said grudgingly, grabbing the crystal out of Claire's hand. She grinned mischievously and he waved his arm in protest. "Now, not because I believe it, and not because I'm hopin' it'll work. But I'll take it 'cause you want me to."

"You're welcome," she said a bit smugly, snuggling Aaron closer.

"…And the name's James," he said.

"What?"

"My name," he repeated, a mystified shiver going through him. "You don't have to call me Sawyer Sawyer. It's James. And I…" he swallowed, ecstatic, terrified, hardly daring to believe that. This memory wasn't false. He didn't know how he knew that but he did, as surely as he knew anything right then. "I didn't know that ten minutes ago."

Claire smiled. "See? It's working already."

"Yeah, well…" he shoved the crystal into his pocket, feeling suddenly surly. "Considerin' just how much I got ta remember, my first name probably ain't the most important thing."

"They come back weirdly," Claire said, matter-of-fact. "The first thing I remembered was peanut butter. Pregnant women… you know."

"So you really had that kid here? On this island?" She nodded, and he felt inadvertent amazement. "Holy hell, Kanga, you're straight off a TV show. How'd you manage that?"

"Well, I'm not sure any mother knows how she managed to squeeze something the size of a watermelon out an opening the size of a lemon," she replied with astonishing frankness, smiling fondly at Aaron. "But I guess I did it somehow."

"Guess you did," Sawyer agreed, feeling a bit awed. "You're gonna be one hell of a mother. Even if you are into all that new-age crap."

"Are you a Sagittarius?" Claire shot at him, and he felt amazed all over again. She smiled. "Thought so. I'll do your chart someday. You act like you're straight off the page, James."

"Sawyer," he said, seizing desperately upon something he understood. "I just go by Sawyer."

"I have returned," declared a voice from the woods and out came Sayid, lugging a backpack full of Stuff.