CHAPTER 5

As soon as I wake, I'm aware of the side where Tobias was, is empty. I sigh and stumble out of bed, pulling the long sleeves of my shirt down and over my hands. I hear voices and the opening and closing of cupboard doors.

I see Tobias stuffing a backpack with food and water bottles, his back turned to me as I enter into the kitchen. I cross my arms over my chest and walk slowly to him. I'm aware of Uriah and Christina's stares on my back, their gazes going to my stomach. They're becoming curious and I still haven't spilled a word about my pregnancy to them yet. I'm not entirely sure why, probably because I'm not ready for the whole world to know that I did the deed.

I'm standing right behind Tobias when he suddenly turns around to gather more equipment. I see him jump slightly and my hands fly to his chest, where his heart pounds underneath my fingertips.

"Tris," he breathes. I wrap my arms around his middle and press my face into his chest, breathing in his scent. His arms automatically circle around me, one hand brushing my hair back. He rests his chin on the crown of my head.

I pull back slightly to look at him in the eye. "You were gone." My voice comes out in a whisper, so quiet that I'm not sure if he heard me.

Although as he sighs and brushes his lips against mine, I know he did. "I know and I'm sorry. They've finally made a decision on what we are to do. They woke me up to tell me and I had to get ready." From the look on his face, I know it can't be good; I wait for him to continue. He does, "A group of us are going to venture past the fence, we're going to see if there is any life past it." I gasp. "I'm one person of the group that has been chosen to go, they suggested you as well but I would prefer if you stayed behind because of you know."

My hands drop to my sides as I step back. He looks at me with such sadness. I clutch his hand and pull him behind me, up the stairs and into his bedroom. Behind us, I close the door. "You're not seriously, are you?" I demand.

He looks at me, confusion evident on his face. "Not what?"

I look at him incredulously. "Really? You were really going to ask me to stay behind when you go out there? I wouldn't be able to stay here, knowing that you could be in danger… especially not now."

He guides me over to the bed, where we sit side beside, his eyes intense on my face. "Exactly." He says. "Especially not right now, that's why I can't let you go. You're in charge of more than just your own life now, Tris, you have our baby to think about now too."

I lean forward before he can see my tears and wrap my arms behind his head, drawing him close to me. He hugs me back. "Tobias…" I whisper softly. He squeezes me gently as I bury my face into the crook of his neck, my lips gently brushing the skin where his neck runs into his shoulder. "Please let me go with you, I love you." I pull back and mentally hit myself for not noticing how everything is affecting him. He has dark circles underneath his eyes and I can see the weariness that is etched on his face. I reach up and brush my finger along the dark colouring beneath his eyes. His eyes flutter closed at my touch. "I'm so sorry, Tobias."

His eyes fly open at this and his gaze softens. "Oh, Tris. I'm never going to win this fight with you, am I?"

I giggled and sighed. "No." I looked at his face again, my eyes drinking in every detail of him. "How much sleep did you get last night?"

He shrugged, his eyes fluttering closed against I leaned against his chest. "I don't know, I stayed awake for a little bit… watching you sleep, thinking about the baby and then my mother Tori came in to tell me. I don't think I actually got any."

I pulled back and frowned at him but before I could get in another word, there was a knock on his bedroom door.

He glanced at me before calling out, "Come in."

Tobias' mother, Evelyn poked her head in and smiled. "Oh, Tobias." She said as if relieved to see her son.

Tobias turned to me and whispered into my ear, "Can we tell her?" I gazed at him worriedly, he took my hand in his as I nodded my head slowly.

He turned back to his mother, who stood there with an eyebrow raised. "Mum," he began tentatively. "Tris and I have some news to tell you."

Her eyebrow raised higher, if that was possible. "Oh?" was all she said.

I felt the colour leave my face, my hand going clammy in Tobias' and my beginning to shake. I didn't want anyone to know, but soon after they were going to find out; it would become more obvious as my stomach grew larger. Tobias seemed to notice the fear that coursing through my veins because he swapped the hand that was encased in mine for the other one, squeezed in reassuringly and wrapped his free arm around me, pulling me closer to him. "Tris and I are going to have a baby."

She seemed to stutter at that, her gaze leaving Tobias' face to look at mine and then lastly my stomach. On instinct, I allowed one of my hands to wrap around my middle protectively. "You what?"

"Tris is pregnant, we're having a baby." Tobias repeated slowly. I looked up to his face, my expression hesitant. He peered back at me, his expression filled with pride and love. He lowered his face, allowing his lips to brush mine softly. I pulled away first, not wanting Evelyn, the mother of Tobias to watch us kissing.

"Right, well, I'm assuming then that Tobias has asked you to stay behind?"

Tobias chuckled. "Not exactly; I suggested it, but she insists on coming." He sighed to himself and whispered under his breath so only I could hear, "So stubborn." He reached up and tucked some hair behind my ear. "I should continue packing; I have to pack for two extra people now."

Evelyn simply nodded and retreated to her own room.

"Tobias…" He pulled away from me to gaze at me. "How long do you think we'll be out there for?"

"I'm not sure, Tris…"

I placed a hand over my belly. "Weeks? Months?" I looked away from him, tears springing to my eyes.

"Tris…" He began softly, hooking a finger beneath my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Are you afraid that the baby will come while we're out there? Is that what you're scared about?" A tear escaped as I nodded. "Oh, Tris." He whispered as he pulled me into a hug. "You know I'll be right beside you, no matter what. If our baby decides to come while we're in the middle of nowhere, I'll be right there and so will other people… my mother, Tori… people you can trust."

I just nodded and pulled away, brushing the tears on my face away. "We should get packing." I stood up and turned to face him. "I can get some clothes together and you can continue with the food if you want?"

I began to pick out some clothes before I realised that my stomach is going to grow. I whirled around and saw that Tobias was still sitting there, watching me with worry evident on his face. "Tris…"

"What am I going to do?" I questioned, laying my hands against my stomach. Already my clothes were getting tight. He looked at me confused. "Soon my clothes aren't going to fit, my clothes are already getting tight! I don't have any other things…"

Understanding bloomed on his face. "We can get you new ones, we can get you more." My hand came to my forehead, brushing my hair away, holding it back.

I just nodded aimlessly, staring off into the distance. "Are you going to get the food ready?" I snapped, instantly regretting it. Tobias' face went expressionless as he stood and began to walk away and down the stairs. "Tobias!" I called, running to catch up, clasping his left arm and tugging him back. "Tobias, I'm so sorry." I was in tears again—typical. These hormones were really messing with me. When he turned around, his expression instantly softened at the sight of my tear stained cheeks. "I don't know why I snapped at you like that, I'm so, so sorry. You forgive me, right?"

His hands fell to his sides in surrender. He caressed my face in both of his big, warm hands and smiled at me. "I'll always forgive you, Tris."