Kaoru

As we stepped into the classroom the next day, I searched for Yuuna out of the corner of my eye.

She sits alone at her desk, watching as her classmates go around giving goodbye hugs and handing out contact information. Everyone is excited, looking forward to being free of school for the next few weeks. But she sits by herself, a shadow in the back of the room.

She sees us walk in, but her eyes don't linger. I have no idea how long the letter was in my desk, but she must have seen our response by now. She doesn't look giddy or nervous, but rather annoyingly calm about everything. Which means, like I predicted, this won't be half as fun as it usually is. Which is exciting in its own way.

I slide into my desk and proceed to try and distract myself with one of the many video games we have stashed in our bags. After all, it's not like anyone's actually going to study on the last day. And as expected, as soon as Tadashi-sensei finishes taking role, she quickly retreats behind her desk. Everyone else just talks on about their plans for summer, lounging over the desks and chairs.

Gym on the other hand is different.

For the last day they have a bunch of rely and track and field games set up for us. It's rather annoying really. So Hikaru and I participate as little as we can.

But we get looped into the three legged race and the relay, and as we sit under the shade of a large tree, we can see the girl's pole vault event.

Yuuna on the other hand seems to have an unlimited amount of energy today, and sets a new record for the highest pole vault in our year. Her smiling is reserved, but her eyes are glowing with pride. A bunch of track members surround her, in awe of her stunt. They ask her to join the Track team, but she just shrugs her shoulders and says she'll consider it. It looks like her answer is already no.

She grins sheepishly as some boys praise her as well, and a twinge of irritation runs through me.

She smiled for them.

She's only ever smiled for me before. I don't want anyone else to have something that rare. But with what I'm about to do to her tonight, do I even have a right to be angry? I calm down a bit as I see her brush them off, but one disapproving look from Hikaru tells me I've been caught.

"I thought you'd be over it by now," he mumbles as he crushes his plastic water cup in his fist.

"Sorry to disappoint."

I look away, choosing instead to focus on the hall that's being decorated for the gala tonight instead of Hikaru's face. The class representatives are busy hanging streamers and lanterns in shades of purple and a silver.

Right now, I wonder what it would be like to ask a girl to go with me like any normal guy would.

Not that I'd ever admit to it out loud, but I waited for so long for someone interesting to come along. Hikaru isn't interested in any of the girls we've met, so it's not like I can talk to him about it. I can't really talk to anyone about it.

These thoughts run through my mind all day, and before I know it, I'm standing under a wrought iron arch in one of the school's gardens.

The area around me is surrounded with roses, and fire flies float lazily in the night air.

On any other occasion, this setting could be considered romantic. That must be the vibe it'll give off when she shows up. I watch the doors to the hall intently, trying to ignore the fact that Hikaru is hiding behind a nearby hedge, waiting for the moment that Yuuna screws up.

I swallow hard, focusing all of my attention on the door.

I can see the outlines of my classmates through the windows, watching enviously as they dance and talk with ease. It's irritating, knowing that it's probably too late to burst our bubble and join them. Everyone's already picked their friends, and we've already decided that they aren't worth our time. And they already know that we feel that way.

Yuuna detaches from the rest of the crowd and makes her way over.

I see her before she sees me; and I study her from my spot.

Her white gossamer dress billows lightly around her knees in the late evening breeze. It's not made by our mother like most of the dresses the girls are wearing tonight. Her hair is curled in loose ringlets with some of it swept up by pearl headed pins. It's none of the styles that are popular right now. Her cheeks are flushed a soft pink color, giving her overall appearance a soft glow. It's not makeup at all.

She leaves away from the rest of our classmates, who don't even acknowledge her as she weaves through them, steadily making her way through the gardens. There is no smile on her face, but like earlier her eyes are telling everything her face isn't. Her irises, made more of a grayish silver color by the dress, are bright and glittering with nervous excitement.

I feel myself my stomach sink and I gulp nervously, and am slightly relieved that the dress shirt our mother had us model was unbuttoned at the neck. Yuuna floats through the gardens, her hands clenching and unclenching nervously as she gets closer to me.

She catches sight of me and picks up the pace, her heels clicking softly against the cobble stone path.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," she says softly as she stops at the foot of the pavilion.

Huh, that's usually our line.

"It's alright," I reply casually, walking over to her. "I hope I didn't tear you away from the party."

She shakes her head, her curls bouncing lightly.

"Not at all," she says softly, a small smile spreading across her lips. "I was just a little surprised Kaoru. By now I was expecting that I wasn't getting a reply."

I swallow hard, trying not to look at it for too long.

"About that…" I say, drawing the words out.

She sends me a confused glance. I pull her letter from my pocket with slightly unsteady hands. I glance at it from under my bangs. This is it.

"You see," I say, my voice as steady as always. "I'm Hikaru. You must have gotten my desk mixed up with Kaoru's."

Her smile slips at my words.

"Oh my god..." she whispers in horror.

Her hand clamps over her mouth as she tries to hide her gape.

"Hikaru I'm so sorry! I thought...I was so sure I had the right desk."

I look down at the floor, biting back the waves of bitter disappointment that wash over me. She's falling for it. Just like Hikaru said she would.

"This happens a lot doesn't it?"

I look up.

She's glancing over at me, guilt and concern lacing her voice. I nod, and to my surprise, she grabs my hand tentatively. A small wave of warmth flows through me from that spot.

"But Hikaru," she asks. "Why did you ask me to come here?"

My breath catches in my throat. She's not supposed to ask these kind of questions. But this should be a good thing right? She must know something isn't right about this.

"Why didn't you just ignore my letter? Or just pass it on to Kaoru?"

I feel my chest clench as I force myself to make eye contact with her. Her grey irises glint sharply with curiosity, unintentionally making my stomach clench again. I force myself to smile sadly.

"Well you see, Kaoru already has a girl he likes," I say.

"Oh…" she trails off as the light fades from her eyes at my words and she drops my hand. "So you're here to reject me for him then?"

The bitterness that weighs down her voice is a strange sound. Like it shouldn't belong there. Like it's not meant to be used with her voice.

"Actually, I came here for a purely selfish reason," I reply.

She looks back up at me, the curiosity in her eyes rekindling as she fists her hands in her skirts.

"You see, I always thought you were cute."

"W-what?" she stammers, her jaw going slack as a vibrant blush rises in her cheeks.

I allow a real smile to cross my face for a moment. She's actually...kind of cute. Then my stomach plummets as I remember I need to move on with this.

"So do you think you could like me instead?" I ask.

Her blush intensifies. Her gaze drops to the floor, hiding her face with her bangs.

"Before I give you an answer, can I ask you a question Hikaru?" she asks softly as she wrings her fingers.

I'm caught off guard. Usually this is where the test ends with another failing participant.

"Uh, sure," I murmur.

She looks me in the eye. Her irises are large, but her pupils seem to be taking up more space than they are.

"Do you know which girl Kaoru likes?" she asks.

My mouth goes dry. What am I supposed to say to that?

"No," I reply.

That's my safest bet. She couldn't possibly counter that.

"Well…and I'm just saying this hypothetically of course," she says quickly as she waves her hands in defense. "What if he does like me Hikaru? Would you feel guilty at all if I said yes to going out with you?"

I stare at the ground. Where does she come up with these questions?

"What do you mean?" I murmur.

She swallows hard.

"If we started dating, and there was an off chance Kaoru liked me, would you feel guilty for making him unhappy?"

I bite my lip. Would Hikaru feel guilty if he were in that position?

"I guess I would," I mutter. "I've just never thought of things like that."

She gives me a small smile.

"Then let me ask him on my own ok? And if he doesn't feel the same way, at least you were selfless enough to wait. And that's a quality I hold to a high regard."

I'm speechless. What am I supposed to say now? She passed half the test, but she still didn't realize I'm not Hikaru. Then at that moment, her arms wrap around me. I freeze up.

"Thank you for understanding Hikaru," she whispers.

My arms rise on their own accord, my hands resting lightly on her back. She was so...warm.

I've never had this much physical contact with someone who isn't Hikaru.

My fingers glide curiosity over her hair. It has split ends, but it's still soft. It reminds me vaguely of the fabric mom makes her baby clothes from.

"I knew it."

Hikaru's voice is frigid, and his eyes were like shards of glass as he steps out from behind the hedge. Yuuna's arms drop from my neck as she stars at him in confusion.

"You're the same as all the others," Hikaru spits at her. "Let's go home Kaoru, I told you this was a waste of our time."

Yuuna pulls out of my arms like I had just electrocuted her. Disbelief is written all over her face.

"Y-you mean you really are..."

She claps her hand over her mouth, and I can see tears forming in the corners of her eyes. They narrow dangerously into slits of silver as tears begin to carve trials down her cheeks, which have gone white with rage.

"You're horrible," she whispers.

Her eyes burn me with a look of such pure and utter loathing. I can see anything she may have felt for me is now gone, burned up in the intensity of betrayal.

"You set me up. What kind of disgusting excuse for a human being thinks it's alright to toy with someone's feelings like that?" she spits. "You should be ashamed of yourselves!"

Each one of her words cut into me, rendering me incapable of speech.

"No. You're the one who's disgusting!" Hikaru yells back at her.

She flinches back at the force of his words. Hikaru slips his hand into his pocket and pulls out her letter.

"Get off your high horse! You send him this and then decide you could settle for either of us! Who do you think you are?!"

Her head snaps back up, her anger momentarily shoved aside by confusion.

"B-but I didn't-" she's cut off as Hikaru tears her letter in half.

Her eyes widen as he crumples the rest in his fist before tossing it on the ground.

"Get lost," he commands.

A few more tears glide down Yuuna's face before she steps towards me.

"Good luck ever finding someone to love you in your small world," she hisses before bringing her heel down hard on my foot.

That's actually putting mildly. She slides her foot down the front of my calf before slamming the heel of her shoe into the center of the top of my foot.

Pain shoots through me as she turns on heel and runs. I bite my lip as I lean against the archway, watching her quickly retreating form through blurred vision.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru yells.

He slings an arm over my shoulder and helps me limp to a nearby bench.

"Stay here," he commands. "I'll get you some ice!"

And with that he takes off, leaving me sucking in deep breaths. My eyes sting, but no tears flow over. Have I already lost the ability to cry?

A soft breeze blows over the gardens, blowing the shreds of Yuuna's letter towards me. Without thinking, I pick them up, smoothing it out on my leg. I then fold it carefully, tucking it in my pocket. I swallow the bitterness in my throat.

xx

Yuuna never came back after summer vacation.

Then the rumor mill started, saying she filed for a transfer the first day of summery. She didn't tell anyone where she transferred to, and I never saw her again.

My one chance at having a real relationship was over. Hikaru tried to help me get over it, but it still weighed me down.

No one knows her letter is taped up and hung up in the deepest corner of my extensive closet with the rest of my middle school stuff.

I feel a pang of guilt every time I see it, which isn't often.

Maybe it would be easy if I just got rid of all these emotions. Maybe Hikaru was right. We don't need anyone other than each other. It just leads to pain if we try and let anyone else in.

xx

Yuuna

"Great rehearsal tonight my dears!" Benio-senpai says as I slump down next to my bag. "We're sure to fill every seat in the house with a show like this!"

I take my industrial size water bottle out of my bag, gulping it down quickly, setting it down and pulling my hair up into a bun. My legs are killing me. I move to slip out of my character heels, sighing in relief as my feet are hit with the cool air from the room. I wiggle my toes to bring feeling back into them, but they still feel numb.

"Yuuna," Ryuu says, nearly scaring the shit out of me as she appears out of nowhere, her long raven hair blowing delicately around her. "We assessed the damage like you asked."

I sigh, not even wanting to know what I'm in for.

"How bad is it?" I mutter.

"All in all we have volleyball, soccer, and skating all asking for volunteers," Reiko says as she fiddles with the hem of her uniform sleeves. "And the music division wants us to team up for a classical piece."

Great, this is what I get for getting involved in school.

"And they recruited me for kickboxing," Asuka says happily, tucking a strand of her wavy strawberry blonde hair behind her ear as she sits down next to me.

"And me for track," Ryuu adds as she kneels down in front of me and steals some chips from my duffle bag.

"And on top of all this you have our big performance. You girls are just all over the place aren't you?"

I look up, meeting the gaze of the tall girl behind Ryuu.

"Benio-senpai," I mumble, wondering when the hell she got here.

"Yuukene dear, you sure have your work cut out for you," she says.

"Yeah," I sigh, only slightly bristling at the nickname she picked out for me. "So where is this festival being held anyways senpai?"

"At Ouran Academy," she says darkly, her voice thick with disgust.

My blood freezes in my veins for a minute.

"What?" I ask.

"Once you finish registering for your events I'll need the four of you to come find us," she says before pirouetting away. "We'll be waiting in Music Room 3!"

"Yuuna? Are you ok?" Asuka asks, her smile slipping.

Her voice fades away as I fist my hands in my hair.

Oh god. This can't be happening.

I force myself to breathe. It's alright, that school is huge. There's no way I'll run into them. They aren't interested in these kinds of things anyways.

And anyways, who can say they'll even remember me if they do see me? They won't recognize me. I don't stick out. I was one in a million girls who probably sent them a love letter. There is no reason for them to remember me.

I look up at Asuka, doing my best to give her a convincing smile. She doesn't buy it.

"I'm fine," I mutter. "Just...nervous."