Author's Note: I don't own TBBT. Wish I did.
"Oh dear." Sheldon said upon entering Penny's apartment. Penny sighed.
"I know, it's a mess…" A gigantic mess, oh please don't let him find the pop tart under the couch. Sheldon's head whipped around towards Penny and she smiled shyly.
The poptart is where? he thought.
"A mess? This is pure pandemonium." He said instead, "I have to go get my cleaning supplies. I'll be back shortly." He turned to go and then stopped. Slowly he turned back to Penny. "While I am gone, could you please remove the pop tart under the couch and any other food that is lying around?" He saw Penny's eyes widen as he swung around and returned to his apartment.
How the hell did he see that?
Sheldon snickered once he was out of earshot. Really this could be very funny….
"But I like the couch there!" Penny cried. Sheldon sighed and looked over at her.
"Penny, you said you wanted my help." He said.
"Yeah, but do you have to rearrange the furniture. The place is clean!" Sheldon sighed.
"Penny, do you know why your house is always messy?" Penny frowned.
Great. Here it comes, I'm a slob. Just say it. I couldn't keep this place clean to save my life. Oh gosh Sheldon, I don't need this right now. I need wine!
Sheldon rethought what he was previously going to say…
"Aside from your sometimes disorganized lifestyle, the way this apartment is set up does not lend itself towards organization anyways. I believe by rearranging the furniture, you will find it easier to keep this place clean." Sheldon looked over at Penny, who let out a sigh.
Oh thank god.
"Okay Sheldon, move the furniture." She said. Sheldon nodded.
"Alright." He said bending down and pushing her couch up against a wall.
Holy crap. Sheldon is pretty strong. I know how much that couch weighs. Wow, has he always had those forearms? Look at the muscles through his shirt- no, stop it. This is Sheldon for crying out loud. Focus. Wine, you need wine.
Sheldon started on other pieces of furniture as Penny went into the kitchen and got herself a glass of wine. She took a sip.
Mmm. Just what I needed. Why were you even thinking things about Sheldon? It's Sheldon!
Meanwhile, Sheldon had paused momentarily to write in the notebook he was carrying in his pocket.
Women's Studies He wrote, Penny: Does not like hearing negativity, curses in her head, and thinks about me when I'm around (what if I'm not? What does she think about then? Requires further study.) Finds forearms attractive. Quickly he slid the notebook back in his pocket and slid a bookshelf away from the wall.
"Penny." He said turning towards her, "It's time to start on the bedroom." Penny sighed and sat down her wineglass…
I am never getting to bed tonight.
"Come on." Sheldon said pulling his plastic gloves back on, "We're almost finished."
They went into the bedroom which was covered in every article of clothing Penny had.
Almost finished, my ass. This is so embarrassing.
Sheldon turned to Penny.
"I am going to go clean and organize your bathroom. When I come out I want all of these clothes organized into piles. Those you plan to continue wearing, those you wear only occasionally and those you never wear. Do you have a closet?" Penny laughed.
"Yes." She said.
"Then why don't you use it?"
"Because!" She said defensively. These are all dirty clothes; I'm not going to hang them up!
"What about a hamper?" He asked looking around, but seeing no sign of one.
"It's in the closet." Penny finally huffed. He glanced over at her.
"Then why aren't these clothes in the closet?"
"Sheldon!" Oh lord, this is embarrassing. "I…I take off my clothes when I get home. And I don't want to walk all the way to the closet to drop them in the basket." She crossed her arms and stared at him.
Go ahead, make an obnoxious comment. Tell me I'm lazy. I dare you. Sheldon's eyebrows went up.
"Fine." He said, "Organize these clothes, I'm going to tackle the bathroom."
Wow. Is he evolving into a better person? Sheldon rolled his eyes as he walked over the piles of clothing to her bathroom.
Sheldon rearranged every item of furniture she had, but afterwards she had to admit that it looked a lot better and given where he had placed things it seemed like it would definitely be easier for her to stay organized.
He even pulled the hamper out of her closet and placed it inconspicuously against the wall in her living room.
That is going to be so helpful! She smiled as she walked around the apartment.
"It looks really good Sheldon."
"I know." He replied. "Try to be more organized Penny, it's going to make you feel better. I'm going to bed." Sheldon moved towards the door.
"Sheldon," Penny said, causing him to turn around.
"Thank you," She smiled. I don't know why your being so wonderful, but I appreciate it. I wish I knew how to tell you that.
Sheldon smiled to himself as he left the apartment.
"Sheldon, we're going out!" Leonard says as he pulled on his jacket. Sheldon was sitting at his laptop and turned when Leonard spoke.
"Out? Where?" He asked.
"We're going to a club…"
"Yeah!" Howard said, "Surround ourselves with lovely ladies! I've already got Bernadette, so I'm not shopping tonight, but Raj is going to get lucky!"
"Well," Leonard said, "I'm going to meet up with Priya."
Sheldon had recently been thinking about how he needed to widen out in his anthropological experiment. In a normal scientific experiment you would not limit yourself to one variable you would have many. Likewise, although he did not consider anthropology to be a real science, he had decided he needed to be around other subjects.
"I would like to accompany you." Sheldon said, standing up and putting his jacket over his shoulders.
"Holy crap." Raj said with wide eyes. Howard's jaw dropped and Leonard stood dumbfounded.
"Excuse me?" Leonard finally said. Sheldon sighed.
"I believe my volume was sufficiently high enough," He replied causing Leonard to sigh.
"Sheldon!" He said, voice getting whiny, "What is going on with you?"
"Leonard, I think we've accidentally crossed into an alternate dimension." Howard finally said. Sheldon rolled his eyes.
"If you must know, there is only so much-"
"Fine, I don't care. Come on, we'll be late." Leonard grabbed the keys and exited the apartment.
The other three quickly followed and stopped when they saw Penny on the landing.
"Hey guys." She said, "Where you heading? The comic book store?" I wonder if Top Model will be on tonight? Is there some wine in the fridge? Hmm…
"We're going to a club…" Howard said. Penny looked up at them.
"What now?" Sheldon is going? Has the universe collapsed?
"Yeah, I'm meeting up with Priya, and…well you know why they're going. Anyways, see you later…" The four of them turned to leave.
"Stop." Penny said, "Turn." The boys turned back towards her, "Explain him." She pointed to Sheldon.
Leonard sighed.
"Your guess is as good as mine." He replied. Raj leaned over and whispered in Howard's ear.
"Yes Raj, It's kind of creeping me out too." Howard said after a moment.
"Sheldon?" Penny sighed. Everyone else turned to hear his reply.
"I'm conducting a social experiment." He replied. What the hell does that mean?
"Great," Howard said, "He's going to go around documenting our interactions and now Raj will never get a date." Raj whispered in his ear again. "Of course you had a chance before! But now…" Howard threw his hands in the air.
Oh who are you kidding Howard? Poor Raj will never have a relationship unless he can talk to women. And even then his chances are seriously hindered with you as his creepy wingman.
"Anyways…we should go. We're late." Leonard said backing towards the stairs
Good, I don't want to deal with this weirdness and I don't want to be around Leonard. I need to relax. Maybe I'll take a bubble bath.
"Alright, whatever." Penny said. She glanced up weirdly at Sheldon. This is still the weirdest thing he's ever done, experiment or not. She turned to her door with a frown. "Have fun."
Next time on the Telepathic Transference Complication! Sheldon goes to a bar! What will happen? Leave me nuggets of review love and you'll find out!