CHAPTER 14

His head was in his hands when I wandered out of the tent in search of Tobias. He sat a distance away, alone in the chilly night air. I passed Mason to Edith and returned back with a blanket and headed towards Tobias.

"You must be cold," I whispered as I came to a stop behind him. He glanced up at me; he wasn't crying but his eyes were red and their normal glow was gone. He opened his arms out towards me and I settled the blanket around both of our shoulders and positioned myself beside him. I kissed just under his jaw and felt him shiver against me.

"Where's Mason?" he asked me quietly, his eyes set on something far, far away into the distance.

"Edith," was all I said to reply but he nodded. "What happened?" I asked, my eyes tracing over every detail of his face. He looked tired with dark circles circling under his eyes and a frown set on his face.

His eyes fluttered closed and I began to brush his hair away from his face. "She died." Was all he had to say before my arms had wrapped securely around him, drawing him close.

"Tobias…" I began but he shook his head to cut me off.

"No, don't say sorry… just, don't…"

I nodded, kissing behind his ear. "I won't." We sat like that for a few more minutes in silence, content just with each other's presence. "What's going to happen now?" I questioned him finally.

He opened his eyes, his dark blue eyes intense on my own. "A burial will be held tomorrow and then it's up to me."

"And what do you want to do?"

"Keep moving," he responded. Of course, I thought. That was typical Tobias style.

"Tobias…" I began again but he cut me off as usual but this time stood, offering his hand to me. I allowed my fingers to slip against his.

"Come on," he whispered. "Let's get you back to bed." I began to protest but of course he just pulled me along anyway.

***PAGE BREAK***

"You didn't sleep at all, did you?" I asked Tobias over breakfast. He had Mason sleeping in his arms and hadn't touched any of the food that had been passed around.

"Yes, of course I did." He lied.

I narrowed my eyes at him, gazing at him through slits. "I thought we agreed to have no more lies between each other. I know you left part way through the night and didn't return for hours after that."

Once again a tin passed us without him touching it. I wanted to chastise him but held off as he sighed and began to explain. "I just went for a walk to clear my head a little, all right?" he snapped.

He must have seen something in my expression for he turned his head away, regret changing his whole facial features; but he never apologised.

We were on the move once again because of Tobias' commands; this time he kept to the front of the group, away from me most of the time. Occasionally he would come and swap the bags for our son but as soon as Mason was safely in his arms, he would hurry back up to the front beside Thom and Edith.

Dinner came past and I sat alone with Mason, Tobias inside our tent. He inclined his head towards me as he emerged and indicated for me to follow him. Edith held out her arms for our son and gently I placed him into them, following after the boy I loved.

He stood with his back to me and I couldn't help but have a sudden flash of memory; when I had been standing like that, just before I had given birth to Mason. Except this time the roles were switched and we were no longer expecting a baby.

Tobias' arms were crossed across his chest and his shoulders were hunched as if in defeat. I craved to wrap my arms around his tense body, to feel him caress me back. I craved for him to open up to me, to confess all of his emotions to me. But I did none of those actions, I stood helplessly behind him, caught between emotions; my heart wanting to go towards him but my brain telling me to give him his space and stay back.

"Tobias?" was all I allowed myself to do; whisper his name on an exhale of my breath. At the sound of my voice, his shoulders started to shake with built up feelings and his breathing was ragged. Now I was glad I had left Mason with Edith; he didn't need to see his father like this, only I did so I could comfort him to the best of my abilities.

Taking a step forward, my arms wound around him and held him close to me. His warmth radiated off him, mixing with mine. He turned in his arms and buried his face into the crook of my neck, letting the tears flow. My hands came up to tangle in his silky, dark brown hair. After a few minutes of silence, Tobias pulled back and stared at me, his dark blue eyes searching my face.

"I love you, Tris, I don't know what I would do if I hadn't met you." He said while his hands came up to cradle my face between his palms. He sniffed and I wiped a stray tear off of his cheek. He brought his face to mine, leaning his forehead against mine. His eyes slid shut and he stood there, breathing in time with me. I placed my hands against Tobias' chest, feeling his heart beat rhythmically under my fingers.

Tilting my head up to meet his lips, I murmured, "I love you too," against him.

"I'm sorry." He said after a few moments of silence. His eyes were now open, gazing at me. I pulled away from him but continued to have my hands on his chest and content to still have his arms locked around my waist. "I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier and for pushing you away today—I just needed some time to myself, some time to think…"

I silenced him with a press of my lips to his. "I understand, Tobias. I don't mind." I told him when we finally pulled away.

"Thank you." Was all he said before we wandered back to the camp site. Without a word to anyone and without a glance towards anyone else; Tobias and I slipped into our tent, just the two of us. At first we sat on our knees in front of each other, just gazing lovingly into each other's eyes. Both of us leaned forward and captured each other's lips with our own and soon I was being lowered onto my back with Tobias lying over me. He supported himself against his elbows, so as not to crush me under his weight. Our bodies lined and touched in every way, no space to be seen, and no breath of air to pass between of us.

Our lips moved in sync with each other's and our hands travelled over our lover's bodies. Mine wove into the fine, silky strands of his hair and his mapped over my skin, hips and torso. My fingers fumbled as they tried to unclasp the buttons of his shirt. I was at the third one when he sat up and shrugged the shirt off himself. No matter how many times I had seen his chiselled chest naked, I still was amazed by his beauty and each time I wondered how this guy was mine and only mine.

His lips moved along my jaw, down my neck and across my collarbone as he effortlessly pulled my top off. All of our clothes were suddenly gone and discarded around the tent. Now we lay side by side, wrapped in blankets and drinking each other in by our gazes.

"You're so beautiful." Tobias whispered in the darkness. I didn't know if he could see me very well in the darkness of the night when I blushed; but my protests would have given me away because he was quick to jump in and assure me. "You really are, Tris; one of the many traits that I love about you."

"Only one?" I teased, except he didn't take my joke as a joke.

"One of many," he replied and then started listing them off. "You're brave and strong, incredible, smart…" It sounded like he could have kept going if it wasn't for the kiss I gave him to cut him off.