Donna was dead.
Ana was sitting at her desk after class in disbelief. She'd ended up moving the tutoring session to the following week after she heard the news.
What was with this place? An innocent woman was gone and two kids no longer had a mother. And now, once again, everyone was talking shit about the Sons again.
Never mind that the woman killed was a member's wife. Every time something bad happened, the Sons were the scapegoat, and Ana was sick of it.
Donna had just been at the party, laughing and cutting up with her over drinks. They were going to do lunch. And now Donna was dead, with an entire clip of bullets embedded in her skull.
Ana put her head in her arms and sobbed. This was why she didn't like making friends. Terrible things happened and the people left behind were the ones who had to suffer.
Her phone rang as she got her emotions in check. She looked at the caller ID and saw it was the garage.
"Yeah?" she asked sadly, grabbing her things. She hoped this wasn't more bad news, because with her state of mind, one more bad thing would have her packing and running once again.
"Hey, Ana," Juice said. "I take it you heard?"
She sighed with relief. If it was Juice calling, then the liklihood of bad news went way down. He didn't seem like the type to deliver emotional blows, mainly because even in the life he was in, the boy was like a fucking sun. Even when he wasn't happy go lucky, he still seemed to exude a childlike aura that drew people in.
"Yeah, I heard as soon as I got to the school this morning," she replied. "How's everything? Does anyone need help or anything?"
She could hear Juice shifting something in the background.
"I don't know. Shit, I don't know anything anymore. How are you doing?"
Ana laughed without humor. She had a feeling that he wasn't just asking to be asking. Somehow, she knew he genuinely cared about her well being.
"You guys just lost one of the member's wives and you're asking me how I'm doing?" she asked.
"Ope says that you and Donna hit it off."
"Yeah, well look how that ended."
There was a long pause. Ana hated herself for being short with Juice, but that's how she dealt with things like this. But she knew whatever pain she felt, he had to have been feeling more. He knew Donna longer than she did, and she felt horrible for all of SAMCRO.
"I'll be okay, Juan." She heard him take an intake of breath when she used his real name, and couldn't help but smile. "Look, just tell Gemma I'll come by the garage later, to see what I can do. And tell her that I'm really sorry," she said.
"Yeah, thanks," Juice said hoarsely. "Yeah, well, the reason I'm calling wasn't about Donna, and this is probably the worst possible time, but-"
"Juan Carlos Ortiz, you better not be asking me out on a date," Ana said. Deep down she didn't mind him doing this, but he was right, this was the worst possible time, no matter how cute the guy was.
"I'm not a dating guy right now," Juice said, laughing a little. "I was wanting to get to know you better. The only person that I know you're close to is Gemma, and I know that you wouldn't mind people your own age as friends."
"You're twenty six?" she asked, kiddingly.
He paused.
"Thirty, actually, but whatever."
This muscular man child was thirty? Ana had a hard time believing that, and made a mental note to check out his driver's license the next time she saw him.
"You there?" Juice asked.
"Yeah," Ana replied.
"Like I was saying, I'm closer in age to you than Gemma. And I promise to make inapproprate comments but will keep my hands to myself. I may stare at your ass and rack a little bit too much, though, but I won't be obvious about it," he said lightly, earning a small laugh from Ana.
Ana thought about it. She could be friends with Juice. He was definitely good for a laugh, even if it was at his own expense. She could use laughter in her life, and it's been too long since she had a real friend. Gemma counted, of course, but then again, but she was old enough to be her mother.
"Yeah, I guess I could use a friend," Ana conceded. "Even a bad ass biker from Nowheresville, USA."
"Everyone could. No one should have well, no one," Juice said, ignoring her joke. "I was at my lowest before I found the club, and I don't want to think that you're the same way I was."
"I'm touched, Ortiz," Ana said, actually meaning it. "Really. It means a lot."
Juice chuckled.
"Well, now that I'm chicked out for the day, I'm going to go do something manly, like punch a wall or something," he said.
Ana laughed a little.
"Don't worry Juice. I'll make sure no one knows you actually went against the man code and showed care for someone other than yourself."
The day of the funeral dawned sunny and bright. Ana scoffed at the sight. Funerals were meant to be dreary and gloomy. Sunny funerals always felt like the world was taunting the mourners, or at the very least giving them a giant fuck off.
Great, I'm pissed at the fucking sun, Ana thought as she curled her hair in front of her mirror. She looked at the black dress on the bed and sighed.
She wasn't sure she should even attend this, but even if it was for a couple of hours, Donna had been a real friend. Plus, she felt as if she owed it to Gemma to be there. She knew emotions were going to be high today, so if there was anything she could do to help, then Ana would gladly do it. Like it or not, she'd become a part of this family somehow, and she was ready to pull her weight.
She slid the dress over her head and stepped into her heels. Pulling her curled hair up into a ponytail, she grabbed her keys and headed to the cemetery.
"Juicy," Chibs mumbled, nodding behind him. Juice turned to where Chibs was looking and a reluctant grin spread across his face.
Ana had arrived, and was hugging Gemma. Whatever was said between them had Ana wiping her eyes with a smile, and then Ana caught his eye and headed over.
He had to admit she looked good. Everyone was in black, but she stood out to him. She looked even younger today with her hair up like that. He had to stop a laugh when her heels kept sinking in the soft ground, to her very obvious frustration.
"Having problems?" Juice asked, amused.
"Fuck off, Juice," she said,playfuly, taking the heels off and going barefoot. She noted their scandalized looks. "Don't judge me, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mind."
Chibs hugged Ana, which she returned gratefully. "That's why the Good Lord made flats, lass," he said, gesturing to her shoes.
"Oh well," she said. "I'll put them on when I'm sitting down." She sighed in relief as she wiggled her feet in the cold grass. She gave Juice a funny look and gestured down to his hands. "Juice, you carry a spare with you all the time or something?"
Juice looked down at Jax's kutte in his hand.
"It's Jax's, he's running late, asked me to grab it," he explained. He looked around at all the people flooding in, from three charters no less. "You should go take a seat, before all the crow eaters get them and you're stuck standing."
"Alright," she said, surprising him with a quick hug before she left. Chibs chuckled as Juice watched her walk away with a bemused expression on his face.
"You two are getting cozy." he said.
"We're friends, Chibby," Juice said, getting in line as Gemma handed them blue carnations to put on the casket. "I like her, but she's not like Luanne or any of them. She's actually got purpose, and isn't focused on which MC member she can hook.
"Ah," Chibs said as they began the procession. "You actually have to work for her."
"Yeah," Juice replied, kissing the carnation before tossing it on Donna's casket. "Something like that."
Ana was pretending to listen to the preacher, when her mind was really on an entirely different funeral, one that occured almost three years ago. That funeral had happened on a sunny day, too.
Gavin Cocoran was, she thought, the love of her life. She met him at PSC, and they dated for three years before he popped the question. She said yes, and, together, they moved to LA so she could get her masters degree.
She never expected to wake up to a knock on their door at 4:00AM a year later, to a police officer who had to tell her that her fiance was killed in an accident. And she really didn't expect to hear him say that his wife was already notified. Apparently, he'd been married the entire time they'd had a relationship.
Ana had unknowingly been Gavin's mistress for five years. And if that wasn't bad enough, her father found out, and made her life hell.
Ana had been so unbelievably angry. At the drunk driver who caused Gavin's death. At her father for always rubbing her "adulterous" behaviour in her face. At Gavin for making her his homewrecker. And at herself, for still loving him despite it all.
Ana wiped a tear from her eye as she saw Opie in front, just staring ahead. It looked like the poor guy had checked out. Before she could focus on someone else, she saw movement from behind the preacher. Jax was striding through the cemetery, with a look of determination on his face. Ana noticed a few lacerations on his face as he drew neared. With interest, she watched Tara take Jax's kutte from Juice and place it on Jax's shoulders before kissing him.
Well, this is definitely the oddest funeral I've ever been to, Ana thought as Jax walked away again.
Juice and Happy sat outside the clubhouse on top of the picnic tables. Happy didn't do people well, and Juice was tired of the mindless chatter.
"That bitch from the other night-"
"Watch it, Hap," Juice warned lightly, playing on his phone.
"She with you?" Happy continued, ignoring Juice.
"No, but we're friends. And she's Gemma's friend, and I'm sure that you don't want Gemma hearing you call her a bitch," Juice said, still playing on his phone.
"True," Happy said, drinking his beer. "Gemma scares the shit out of me. Anyway, you mind if I try something with Ana? She is pretty cute, and I like a challenge."
Juice shot Happy a glare. A heated, anger filled glare.
"Does it look like I mind? he asked lowly. Happy chuckled, knowing that Juice had fallen for his bait, hook, line, and sinker.
"Easy, man. I won't, it's just cool getting on your nerves. You're really hot for her, aren't you?" he asked.
"I wouldn't say that much," Juice said. "There's something about her, that reminds me of me, but different."
Happy snorted.
"I'm not doing this Dr. Phil shit with you, dude," he said. "I love you and all that, but if it's that lovey dovey shit you want to discuss, you go to like Bobby or some shit. Come to me when you want advice on how to tap that ass."
Juice grinned. Of all of the SAMCRO members, he felt closest to Chibs and Happy. Chibs because he was like a surrogate father in a way, and Happy because they both sometimes felt like the odd man out. Happy got pissed at Juice as a prospect when he learned Juice didn't know Spanish, and said no self respecting Latino should be patched in if he didn't know his mother tongue. Happy took it upon himself to teach the prospect a little bit of the language, but conceded it as a bad job when it became obvious that Juice could read and write it but couldn't ever get the accent down well enough to speak it. Since then, the two were sent along with Clay or Tig to deal with the Mayans. Juice only went because Happy was a scary dude, and his "innocent look", according to Bobby, canceled that out, despite his lack of Spanish skills.
"I'll keep that in mind," Juice said as the lady in question exited the clubhouse, looking a bit shellshocked. "Oh, that's not a good look."
"Go see what's up with her. I'll let Clay and Jax know if you have to take off," Happy said, punching the smaller man in the shoulder.
Ana looked up from her phone as she heard footsteps nearing her. She couldn't believe the day she'd been waiting for was finally here.
"Everything okay, Ana?"
She looked at Juice without seeing him for a moment before coming to her senses.
"Um, yeah, everything's fine, actually," she said, stammering. "Just got a call I'd been waiting for for years."
Juice raised his eyebrow, unconvinced.
"You look ready to pass out, babes," he said. "Come on."
Ignoring the term of endearment for the time being, Ana let Juice take her arm and lead her to a picnic table across the way from the one Happy was still sitting on. "What's up?"
Ana shook her head.
"Just found out my dad died. He's had cancer for years now," she said.
"And that's...okay?" Juice asked, confused. "You've been waiting for this call for years?"
"You wouldn't understand," Ana said. "He was my father by DNA only. He used the role to make my life hell, and honestly his death has come a few years too late."
Juice nodded, beginning to piece together the reasons why she had a record of assault against the man who was her father. "Did he abuse you?"
"Not physically. No, he got into my head. Fucked with me emotionally. " Ana took a deep breath and looked at the man in front of her. He only had eyes for her, and his eyes were filled with so much compassion that Ana wanted to cry. She swallowed the lump in her throat and took a deep breath.
"See, my mom died when I was little," Ana began to explain. "She got in a fight with her lover, and my dad's never gotten over it, and never believed that she cheated on him. He tried to make me into this version of her that he still had in his mind, and he never wasted an opportunity to tell me just how much I failed at it," Ana explained, rubbing the ring around her neck. "'Your mother would be disappointed, Analis. She would kill herself if she wasn't already dead if she could see what a whore you are.'"
"Jesus Christ, Ana," Juice said. "Why'd he call you a whore?"
Ana laughed humorlessly.
"Want to know the real reason I left LA?"
Juice was blown away by what Ana had told him. She'd been engaged to a man who'd been married to someone else, and she only found out about it when he died. Everyone saw her as the mistress, the homewrecker, and she'd left LA after she got her masters in disgrace.
"So that's his ring, there?" he asked Ana, pointing at it.
"Yeah. Stupid me still loves the bastard, I still miss him sometimes. The news completely blindsided me," Ana said bitterly. "My dad ended up finding me in LA, and called me a slut, and that was the first and only time he acknowledged my mom's true reason of death, and told me that if the wife had any sense, she'd kill me so I could join 'that whore bitch in hell'. I ended up taking a lamp and crashing it over his head."
There was the assault charge. It had to have been.
"Did you get in trouble?" Juice asked carefully.
"Yeah. Got arrested, charged with simple assault. Paid the fine, and got the hell out of Dodge. Now the bastard is dead, and I feel free for once," Ana replied, wiping tears from her eyes.
Juice slowly put his hand on top of hers, and smiled slightly as her fingers wrapped around his.
"I'm really sorry, Ana," he said sincerely. He knew she had a back story, but he couldn't imagine that her only family treated her like shit, and a man she loved took advantage of her and betrayed her in the worst possible way. If those two bastards weren't dead already, he'd kill them himself for damaging the girl in front of him.
Ana shrugged and smiled at him.
"Hey, me running from LA brought me here. I'm not sorry at all."