Chapter 10: Leaving
Her mind, her thoughts, everything was a swirling torrent of pain. Unmistakable guilt for what she had done, heart breaking sorrow for what she had become, and mind-numbing pain for what she saw in her future. Running for what seemed like a million years, her legs, trying to keep up with her thoughts, but failing. What had she done? She had almost used her powers on one of her best friends; she had reached the point of no-return. So naturally she did the only thing that she did best, run. Buildings, streets, people, they all seemed like blurs passing by. She focused on the infinity of the horizon, it kept coming, never stopping, just like the demons that pent themselves up in her mind, only showing themselves when it was most inconvenient for her.
She felt many pairs of eyes on her; she couldn't take their accusing stares. Everyone knew who she was, why should she try and hide it? Everyone knew she was evil, the daughter of the devil himself, and no matter how hard she tried to combat her evil by fighting against it, everyone knew that she was evil, and she could do nothing to sway their decisions on the matter.
Tears escaped from her tired eyes, she couldn't take it any more. She had to make it all go away, she had to stop it.
EARLIER THAT DAY
She ran to her room, still wringing her hands around her aching head. She neither stopped to say hello to a chipper Starfire nor to tell Beastboy off for making another stupid joke. She passed by them both catching the worried looks on their faces as she ran past them. She shut her eyes tight, trying to forget what she had just seen. To Starfire and Beastboy they were worried about her, but to Raven it looked more like looks of pity. She hated pity, she didn't come to this earth and try to protect it's people just to be pitied by everyone.
As she continued to run, she fought harder and harder to rebuild her now smoldering barrier in her mind. She heard the distant explosions of the titan's possessions off in other rooms, which made one emotion in particular want to escape, guilt. She had never meant to pose a threat or harm any of the titans, or their possessions, in any way, this morning she had come close, too close. A thought had come to her overly occupied mind that she had only considered once, and as a result, she was here, on earth. She could leave, leave all her possessions, her friends, and her home behind. Start anew, just like she had done when she left Azarath. However, any further plans of her leaving came to a screeching halt when she walked straight into the wall. She unwound her hands from her head and looked up, surprised that she could be that oblivious as to walk right into a wall. Then she took a second look, it wasn't a wall, it was a body, made of thick, shining metal. Cyborg!
"Raven?" He interrupted her thoughts. She looked up at him, her recently shed tears drying slowly on her face, resembling a clear salty vein on her cheek. "What is it?"
She looked into his deep brown eyes, though Cyborg was the most understanding of her friends, other than Robin, she felt that she couldn't even confide in him anymore, she couldn't confide in anyone anymore. She just needed to get out.
"I'm sorry Cyborg, I just can't." She replied, giving no futher explanation as she resumed the journey to her room. He turned and watched her continue running, a worried expression plastered on his face.
She didn't stop to look back all the way. She just ran, ran all the way to her dark and dreary room. She locked herself away from her friends and plopped down on her comfortable bed. Why had she come in here? She didn't want to take anything with her on her journey to where ever it was that she would end up. As soon has her breath caught up with her, she just sat there in complete, utter, and surprisingly comfortable silence.
Maybe I'll have at least some time to meditate, before all the titans come at me. She slowly levitated herself above her bend, and began the slow process of mending her mind. She began to slowly repair the crumbled walls and forced her emotions into them, sealing them up until the next mental breakdown. Maybe she was overreacting, maybe the titans would think nothing of this, just normal Raven. Normal. Raven heaved a sigh, that word, how she hated it. Nothing about you will ever be normal, think about the safety of the titans. It's in the interest of youself and the titans if you left. They would be better without you, they would be safer without you. Her conscience argued with her. But I can't just leave them, they need me. She pleaded with the petite devil on her shoulder. Go take a look around you. You destroyed the tower, and you practically destroyed one of your own team mates. They don't need you, to them, you are just an extra problem that they don't need to deal with. Saving an entire city on a daily basis is hard enough, they don't need you to deal with as well. Do yourself a favor, and leave now.
Raven had had enough convicing, and without the smallest sound she planted her feet on her floor stepped over to her window and pushed back the dark slighty-dusty violet curtains that successfully blocked out the unwanted sunlight.
Her eyes unwillingly adjusted to the sudden onslaught of natural light, Raven placed her small pale hand on the window. She glanced out at the sea. She had always been grateful to Robin for giving her a room that faced the ocean. Although she did like the city, the sounds of the ocean always helped calm her, and assisted her exceedingly in her meditation sessions. She glanced out further into the ocean and spotted an oil rig, moving in unison with the small waves of the ocean. She smiled slightly as she thought of the battle with Dr. Light. Then her smile faded as she thought of what had happened in the aftermath of the battle. So many memories, good and bad. Too many. She wanted to leave them all behind, she needed to leave them all behind.
Without another thought Raven's hand upon the window turned a dark shade of black and it phased through the glass, her body following behind it.
END OF CHAPTER 10!
Ok so I know it's a little darker than my other chapters, but hey, I am bipolar, so what did you expect! Lol So yeah, Im going up to my parents ranch this weekend, and there's pretty much nothing to do, so expect a LONG chapter coming up, at least I hope so!