Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters. I only am responsible for the (albeit poorly written and devised) plot.

Sorry this took so long.

Hey! What's up? (cricket, cricket, cricket)

Okay, so... hello there?

First off, thank you to:

DarkWinxGirl

Hanji-Zo

duck liet

So, thank you for reading, and I promise it'll all be over soon. (That doesn't mean this is the last chapter, by the way.)

Remember; language, kissing and romance-y intense situations. But I DO NOT do lemons.

Not sure if you realized, but Riza's grandfather is Fuhrer.

Sorry.

After explanations had been given and money had been (grudgingly) exchanged, the 9 officers sat in a circle on the carpet around Roy's coffee table.

The sun was rising, heating up the room up.

"Riza..." Roy growled, eyeing Havoc as he ogled Riza unabashedly. Well, more of a trance-like state, unaware of the glower on his superior's face.

"Button the shirt up," he requested, cheeks flaming, and not just because of the heat.

Riza, oblivious for the second time in her life (the first time had been all those years when she'd been heart broken over the Colonel), gave him a questioning look.

Havoc snapped out of his stupor, and at least had the decency to look guilty.

"What? Why? It's hot in here..." she whined, inwardly loving how his expression softened.

Maes 'coughed' into his elbow.

"Whipped."

Roy smiled, pulling the half-dressed sniper into his lap. She settled comfortably in his arms, giggling like a little girl. Riza played with his hair, twirling the dark locks between her fingers. He smirked at the goo-goo-eyed females and the encouraging males.

"You bet I am."

Fuery blinked.

"Wow, I thought we were gonna have to beat it out of him or something."

Maes snorted. "Dude, you're making the I-told-you-so moment so unsatisfying. The least you could do is protest it or stutter or something!"

Roy laughed, engulfing Riza's small frame in his bare arms as he did.

"What's the point? No use denying it anymore. I. Love. Riza."

He nuzzled her nose with his and Riza turned back to face Maria and Rebecca.

Her brows crinkled and smoothed, as if she'd suddenly realized something.

She kept her arms casually hung around Roy's neck and she winced at the memory.

"Oh, I can't believe I forgot to mention it! I think they'd been watching me... well, us for a while."

Roy tensed. A sensitive topic; Riza having psychopathic stalkers was something he hadn't quite gotten over yet.

"Wait, us?" Riza solemnly nodded.

"Yeah. You and me. There were pictures of me as a little girl. Even one with me and my dad. There was also a picture of us..." she trailed off, noticing the incomprehension on the faces of those around her.

"Yeah, how surprising," Havoc's voice was laced with sarcasm. "It's not like Riza watches your back practically 24/7!"

"No. From when we were teenagers."

Deathly silence.

"...it was the day I came to study under your father, right?" Roy leaned back against the couch. He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. "Yeah, I still have that one around here somewhere."

"Umm... no."

Roy straightened.

"But that's the only picture I have of us as teenagers!" He protested. He turned on her, pouting. "Hey! You have pictures of me as an awkward, gangly teenager and you've been keeping them from me? Riz... That's no fair..."

"No. Pictures of us. Inside the house, at his funeral, that day you had to step up and teach me how to drive. Everything. Even a shot from..."

Gulp

"Ishval."

Silence.

"Dozens of them. Taped on to her vanity, the newer ones on top. I was trying to find my way out, and I just found it. Lacey's room."

Breda spoke quietly.

"We called in an investigation team. Under the circumstances, Fuhrer Grumman has agreed that all personal effects of the kidnappers belong to you."

Falman raised his hand, as if asking permission to speak.

"I suggested that we stay here for a week or so. Maria and Riza still need time to heal, and the Fuhrer has said it might still be unsafe."

Havoc shrugged.

"I don't have a problem with that. There's still some digging around that needs to be done, so we could have the evidence brought here to pass the time. What do you guys think?"

The absurdity of the situation finally seemed to sink in for Maes.

He wasn't quite sure why, but suddenly it just snapped into place.

And it was nice, and absurd, in its own way.

Roy was gazing at Riza like a lovesick puppy, and for the first time ever, didn't even bother trying to hide it.

He was totally lovestruck.

He was making goo-goo eyes at one of the toughest women he'd ever met, and Riza was melting like putty.

She was cradled in his arms, which were protectively wrapped around her waist.

His lips were by her ear, nose nuzzled into her hair.

I might still get to be a godfather someday!

Only one days in and Maria had already been started sketching her bridesmaid dress.

Pink... or maybe baby blue... Bronze?

"Hey Rebecca, can you come here?" Rebecca walked around the couch, dressed in an over-size sweatshirt and a pair of yoga pants.

She yawned. "Yeah, what's up? Something wrong?"

Maria chewed on her pencil eraser, thinking.

She passed over her sketch. Rebecca glanced down at the sketchbook, flipping through some of the previous drawings. The newest one clung to the figure's hips, then falling out to just below the ankles. It was a strapless number, and Maria had lightly penciled in a sweetheart neckline.

Rebecca pointed to the overlapping necklines. Maria shrugged.

"I wasn't sure which one would look better."

Rebecca pointed to another one, with a ballroom-style skirt and a pair of stilettos drawn under the dress.

"This an idea for Riza's dress?"

Maria nodded.

"But back to the dresses for us... what color do you think?"

"What color for what?" Riza's voice came from the other side of the room.

Maria and Rebecca scrambled to hide the notebook. Rebeca ended up sitting on it, successfully concealing it from her usually very-perceptive gaze.

Riza was still wearing Roy's shirt, and now some sleeping shorts under it.

Roy had practically thrust them in her face, glowing with embarrassment as he asked her to put them on. She'd started to pull them on and Roy had tripped over his own feet trying to escape his room.

Yes, he loved her. Truly, deeply, loved her. And he had once been a playboy, he would admit that much.

But this was Riza, a girl he'd known for years. He cared about Riza. Unlike those other girls, Riza wasn't replaceable.

Riza smiled at the memory.

Then glanced at her friends suspiciously.

"What color for what?"

"Umm, the new sofa I'm getting!" Maria replied, inwardly wincing at how uncharacteristically enthusiastic she sounded. Rebecca sharply nudged her in the ribs.

"Hehe...heh..."

The fake laughs faded into an awkward silence.

"So..." Rebecca drew the word out, adding to the tension. "Where's lover boy?"

Riza blushed about ten shades of red in half a second.

Maria threw her head back and laughed.

"Oh... that's right... Roy's in the shower... Looks like Romeo does have a sense of personal hygiene," her friends teased.

Rebecca tiptoed behind Riza leaning into her ear.

"Only question is: why aren't you in there with him?"

"Rebecca!" Riza squealed, scandalized.

"Oh god, what'd she do know?" Maes asked worriedly as he entered the living room.

"Nothing!" Riza answered quickly. "I was just on my way to the uh... the kitchen. Maes, you want anything before the evidence gets here?"

"Coffee would be great." He said as he followed a flustered Riza to the kitchen.

"And by the way," he said just quiet enough for Riza not to hear him as he passed. "Try periwinkle."

Roy emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He shook his head, water droplets flying and splattering a wide-eyed Riza.

Riza hadn't really needed to go the bathroom after her cup of coffee.

But now she was glad she had.

She'd never admit she thought like this but: Roy was sexy.

His dark hair was damp, and his towel hung low on him, just below the hips.

He was shaking his head like a wet dog, not having noticed that Riza was there.

Riza was stunned.

Had he alway been so devastatingly handsome?

And then he went to untangle his knotted hair and knocked Riza in the head.

Have the walls always been this close together? He though to himself as he rubbed his sore elbow.

"Damn it," he cursed, hopping from foot to foot holding the forming bruise.

He brushed his hair out of his eyes, the pain from his elbow suddenly forgotten.

Riza was sprawled out on the floor, partly slumped against the wall.

Roy crouched to the floor next to her, smoothing her hair back.

"Riz... Riza, you okay?

She groaned.

"Ugh, what happened?" She asked as she sat up.

"Riza, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! I was just getting out of the shower and I think I hit you in the face. It was an accident, I swear!" He burst out, ashamed.

"It's okay. Accidents happen," she reassured him. She pressed a hand against his bare chest. She peeked up at him, kissing her way up his throat.

She stopped at the spot just behind his jaw, and he shivered. She let the water droplets run from her fingers and down her arms as her hands made their way over his shoulders and settled at the base of his neck.

"I love you," she murmured between kisses.

He smiled at her, standing her up and looping his arms through hers,

"C'mon, I've gotta go get dressed."

He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"You can help if you want."

Hey, just because he wasn't going to rush her, didn't mean he wasn't okay with her starting anything.

He waited for the half-hearted slap on the arm and the scandalized 'ROY!' but it never came.

All he got was her finger under his chin, a sexy smirk. She grabbed his hand and playfully pushed him forward.

"Lead the way, Colonel."

Wisely, Kain didn't mention to the others that Riza and Roy had discreetly snuck out of his room one at a time well after lunch.

(No, they did not have sex. Seriously, guys, calm down.)

When boxes upon boxes of Lacey and Peter's crap arrived at the house later that day, Maes' eyeballs nearly doubled in size.

Falman groaned into his hands.

"Aww.. fuck, this is gonna take forever!"

Havoc started sorting through the papers, giving a low whistle as the vanity was brought into the room.

"When Riza said there were a lot of pictures, she sure wasn't kidding."

Maes gingerly began to peel off the photos one by one, a concerned expression overpowering the excitement of finding pictures of Roy.

Havoc took a drag from his cigarette.

"Wow, Riza was hot back then too."

SLAM

Roy pushed Havoc against the wall roughly from behind, squishing his face into the wall.

"Say that again, and I swear I will cut off your-"

"Okay, that's enough now!" Riza interrupted, restraining her boyfriend from punching his lights out.

"How 'bout we start looking through these papers? We could start by trying to see what useful and what's crap, and carry on from there."

"Already on it," Falman said, holing up a stack of papers." He quickly skimmed the documents, and visibly paled.

"What? What is it?" Roy asked, leaping over his dining table to shake Falman's shoulders.

Falman pushed the desperate-for-information Colonel off him.

"Gimme a minute! Get your hands off me!"

He brushed off his pajama pants with a haughty expression, as Riza planted a kiss on his cheek. He relaxed, deeply inhaling.

"Sorry. I'm calm now."

"Anyway... I think Pater and Lucy aren't the only ones out there looking for Riza. I've read through some of these, and they're all letters. But they're signed: From Petey and Lace. I think we're not quite in the clear yet."

"Look," Maes said, grabbing one of the many letters. "This one mentions a rough plan, talking about what to do with her skin once they've got her. But the don't say what they plan to use it for..."

He trailed off, scanning another letter.

"Yeah, none of them do. Some mention taking her to 'the meeting place' when it's time, but they don't say where..."

Kain sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Okay how about this: we'll work our way through these until like, dinner time, and then we'll eat and decide what to do from there."

Roy shrugged.

"Works for me."

Jean smiled, suddenly thinking of the perfect way to push his buttons.

"Hey, can Riza be my sleeping buddy tonight?"

SLAP

Hey guys! Sorry that this chapter sucks and took FOREVER to post. There's legit no time to do this.

School just takes so much effort...

Yeah, I'm on the struggle bus.

Thanks,

-Pyro