Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) do NOT own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the characters. I only am responsible for the (albeit poorly written and devised) plot.
First off, thanks to:
WhisperOfWings
(So... I guess this chapter is kind of dedicated to you because you're the only one still reading this...)
Anyway, thanks for reading, and sorry about... the whole story.
Seriously, this chapter is actually the worst one. I was practically half-asleep when I wrote this.
Scratch that. Last chapter was fucking awful. I mean, Riza was hysterical, and acted on impulse. I, being a stupid idiot, forgot to explain her thinking and why she was so panicked.
(And yes, I know it's repetitive. My writing style is just like that.)
Also, if you a have a problem with virginity being mentioned, out. Out, right now.
Ever read any stories where Riza and Roy have sex, but Roy is so drunk he forgets?
Yeah... sorry to throw this at you unexpectedly...
Riza could smell something...
Awful.
Her nose wrinkled, the stench invading her sense of smell. Her whole body was stiff.
She moved her arm, slowly, and blinked at the drifting sensation. Oh, right.
I think I'm still in the bathtub.
She inhaled sharply, identifying the metallic-y scent of blood.
Crap.
She sat up, her entire backside sore and swollen.
Aww, shit. I might get an infection or something! Lucky I heal faster against fire.
She hoisted herself over the edge of the tub, mainly using her legs to propel herself out.
Her head was throbbing.
She limped/hobbled over to the shower on the other side of the room. (Seriously, a huge bathtub, a shower, and like, four different full-length mirrors in one bathroom? How much money had Roy felt the need to burn when renovating his house?)
She stripped, turning the shower on full blast: ice cold. (Ha ha, very funny. She was taking a cold shower, I get it. Too bad she's not Roy...)
Before stepping in, she turned to examine the addition to her array.
It was breathtaking, in it's own way.
Heavy red marks, crossing and entwining with the more recent already-fading pink lines. Arching, twisting in an enchantingly haunting pattern.
She blinked.
It's almost... beautiful.
True, it was fire alchemy. Then, she'd gone and used that alchemy to further vandalize her flesh. (But, y'know, vandalization with fire.) She grinned before hopping into the shower.
IT"S COLD!
She stiffened, arching her back as the cold water rained down on her sensitive skin. After a few minutes, she felt her headache lessen, and memories of the night before became less fuzzy and vague.
She slammed her palm into her forehead, the smack resonating through the room.
What the hell is wrong with me? Why couldn't I have just hidden the notes? Oh, right. Because I'm an idiot!
She let the cold water pound down on her back, and forced her hand out to twist the handle to the hottest setting.
Screw the numbing cold water. She wanted heat.
It was tortuously hot, but Riza relaxed into the scalding water like it was nothing.
And the pieces began to fall into place.
It was like a hangover, a seriously intense hangover. And the worst part was, she couldn't even blame her actions on alcohol. She remembered finding the diagram, and what it was intended for. She remembered running in, intent on burning the paper, after the information had been transferred safely on her back.
Her plan had been carried out successfully.
But... Why did I do that? I could've just hidden the stupid paper.
She was already in the shower. Might as well start actually washing up.
She massaged Roy's shampoo into her scalp, letting the scent encompass her. It smelled familiar, like home.
In all honesty, Roy was her home. Her own was nothing meaningful to her. Just a place to sleep and eat.
This house, the one she'd been in for less than a week, was more home than her than her house.
Because Roy was here.
And then it hit her, like a brick wall.
I didn't want Roy to ever have to worry about it.
I thought that if I took it, and hid it on myself, I could ensure that no one would see it. Or, I could limit who would see it.
She let the soap completely wash out, untangling her golden hair with her fingers. The heat didn't feel so wonderful anymore. All she felt was regret.
And stupidity.
God, she was such an idiot.
She hit herself in the forehead again, doing absolutely nothing to ease her migraine.
Hey, at least her back didn't hurt anymore.
She stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around herself.
Huh. That wasn't such a big deal. Don't know why I was so worried.
Turning in the mirror, she lowered the towel just enough for her full back to be revealed. She thought to herself,
Does it actually work?
Riza secured the towel.
She wrung out her wet locks over the sink, water dripping down the drain.
Filling the bathtub with water, she rinsed it out multiple times to be sure that all the blood was gone.
She picked up her soiled clothes, throwing them in the trash. She wiped her hands, proceeding to thoroughly wash her hands. (Several times, actually.) The door leading to Roy's bathroom swung open, as Riza forced her foot against it. Quickly, an outfit was chosen from her clothes (the ones from her own home) and thrown on hastily.
When the door leading into the hallway was opened, a sleepy Colonel was revealed.
He was swaying on his feet, one hand on the doorframe. She grabbed him by the shoulders, supporting him all the way to his bed. Her back still hurt like you wouldn't believe, but she wouldn't let that cripple her. He crashed, not wasting any time in getting comfortable.
The covers were over him, and he pulled Riza in, tucking her into his chest. Damn, even when he was sleepy he had reasonably good reflexes.
"Umm Roy? It's morning already. You gotta wake up."
He moaned into her (thankfully clothed) back.
"I kept waking up last night. Kept having nightmares." His muffled voice warmed her skin. She smiled, reaching back without looking to stroke his had. Her other hand went over his, the one on her stomach.
He was too cute.
"Care to enlighten me?" Riza asked in a soothing voice.
He shook his head against her shirt.
"Please," she coaxed, turning to face him.
"We were back in that warehouse..." he hesitantly began. "And, that man- Peter- was waving the gun around, So I tried to take it from him and pushed his arm. I set it off by accident and you were in the way..." he trailed off, knowing that Riza could figure out the rest.
He swallowed, remembering the awful dream. When he finally looked up to her eyes, they shone with unshed tears. His voice was hoarse when her began to speak.
"I shouldn't have told you that. Now I'm kinda embarrassed that I did," he admitted. "I mean, you don't ever seem to have problems like that, and I feel like such a weakling. I mean, I really am useless now and I-"
She put a hand on either side of his face, ready to disagree with him. He squirmed away, trying to hide his expression. His hands flew to his face, covering pretty much everything but the nose. Riza's fingers were then on his, pulling his hands down.
Desperately, he threw his head to the side, not wanting to share his pain with her. He buried his face in his pillow, like a pouty child. She rolled her eyes.
He was being ridiculous.
Well, it's not like you weren't being irrational last night... The little voice in her head spoke up in Roy's defense.
Riza couldn't very well disagree with that.
She snaked her arms around his waist, pulling him towards her. He didn't resist, but still made no move to venture out of his 'hiding place.'
Riza wasn't having any of that.
He was stomach-up and pillow-free with very little effort on her part. She was leaning over him from the side, looking at his face.
He looked ashamed.
"Are you okay?" Riza asked, ignoring the increasing pain. Roy was her priority.
She would endure pain to help this man until the day she died.
"I'm sorry," he rasped through tears that had begun to fall from his eyes. "When we found the scene at your house, and there was all that blood... I just can't forget about it. That tracer in your car, that was the thread I was clinging on to. And even that was a long-shot. At the warehouse, I still can't believe we all made it out of there. I can't help imagine what might've happened..."
Riza wore an amused smirk, and Roy couldn't understand the reason behind it.
Roy rambled on.
"I keep seeing it. When I sleep and you're not there, I watch you die. Before, I sometimes had nightmares like that. But know that I have so much more to lose, it just seems so much scarier."
Her silence even seemed amused.
"...So there's a tracer in my car?"
Roy blanched. He'd forgotten about that little detail. The first thing that came out of his mouth didn't help his case much.
"I swear, it was only for emergencies!"
Riza laughed, her giggles echoing out into the hall.
(In the kitchen: Maes, paused eating his breakfast, and scrambled to find his camera.)
Riza collapsed on the bed next to Roy, as she folded in on herself. Roy's eyes widened in alarm as she began to wheeze. Even through her panting, Riza couldn't stop the snickers escaping her lips.
The pain was excruciating.
But she just couldn't stop.
She was curled up under the sheets, her lungs aching and her face positively glowing. Roy was truly concerned now.
"Seriously, dude, there is no way in hell you are that funny."
Roy turned his head to the door, the expression on his face captured perfectly onto Maes' camera.
And then Maes began to laugh almost as hard as Riza was.
"Your face! HA!" (Imagine the expression in FMA: BROTHERHOOD when Roy heard Havoc talking over the phone. Y'know, when he thought he'd be talking to an official from Xing or something.)
Maes frowned, looking down at Riza, who was still cracking up on the bed.
"Dude, I think you broke Riza."
Roy stood next to the bed, accompanied by Maes.
"I-"
He didn't get to finishing the thought.
Havoc charged in, holding a fork. (Very threateningly, I might add.)
"You broke Riza's WHAT?!" Havoc stormed over to the very confused Colonel.
He pushed Roy against a wall, his very intimidating fork gleaming from the lights overhead.
" I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU SO MUCH AS TOUCHED MY LITTLE SISTER-"
"What? No, no, no no. I didn't... I mean I would never- well not never- I want to but- Wait, no, I didn't mean it like that! I mean, yes, I do want to and I hope I do someda- Wait, no, that didn't come out right either... I mean, I wouldn't, not with you guys still in the hous- STOP IT! STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH!" Roy yelled, grabbing his hair as he tried to figure out what exactly he meant.
"You're doing that all on your own, man. And not very well, I should say," Maes muttered, pitying the man who would receive Riza's wrath when Havoc backed away.
Turns out, Roy didn't need to worry about that.
Havoc looked over his shoulder, his gaze landing on the officer howling on Roy's bed. He frowned, his fork-wielding hand falling to his side.
"Hey, what did you do to Riza?"
Roy shrugged, feeling utterly confused. Havoc seemed to see his genuine helplessness, and released the front of his shirt.
Maes shook Riza gently.
"Hey Riza, you okay?"
"Yeah," she responded finally having broken out of her 'trance.'
"Sorry, Roy was just being a typical guy."
"And that would mean...?"
So Riza told the story. Which resulted in Havoc breaking out into very undignified snorting, and Maes guffawing on the floor.
"That was the sorriest excuse I've ever heard!"
"And Roy," she said turning to him. "Just letting you know that I heard what you said."
Roy choked.
Rebecca came strolling in.
"So, I heard Roy broke Riza's-"
"I did not!" Roy exclaimed defensively. "Why does everyone come barging in here thinking-"
"Thinking that you took Riza's virginity?" Rebecca cut in, causing Havoc to sharply inhale, and sending Maes' camera clattering to the floor.
"Geez, do you have to be so blunt?" Kain had somehow entered the room without anyone else noticing.
The whole room jumped.
"Where the hell did you come from?"
"Well you see, for a long time my mom told me that a stork left me on my doorstep. But then I got to grade 7 and..."
"That's not what I meant!" Roy snapped. Falman sauntered in, followed by Breda.
"Y'know, we heard Riza telling you guys what Roy said. Colonel, I never realized how shameless you were."
"Oh, great! Any reason you're all in my bedroom?" Roy asked to the crowd currently gathering around his bed. Clearly, they were all making themselves comfortable.
"How did it go from Riza's untaken virginity to how children are made?" Maria asked, having entered the room through the bathroom.
"Well, I mean..."
"Will everyone shut up? Seriously guys, calm down!" Maes chastised the room, though he himself was still enjoying the scene.
"It's not like we didn't learn anything new here. I mean, Riza's still the virgin, Roy's still a shameless pervert/undetermined stalker, and Havoc's the over-protective older brother." Maria reasoned, slapping Roy on the back.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Riza asked, not knowing what Maria was implying.
"Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin," Maes soothed, patting Riza's head.
Riza snapped.
Well, exploded was more like it.
"I"M NOT A VIRGIN!" Riza shouted, exasperated. Her eyes widened comically, and she slapped both hands over her mouth.
The whole room went silent.
Eight pairs of eyes were on Riza.
"..."
"Did you just say..."
Maria 's surprised gasp almost immediately turned into coughing.
Havoc fainted.
Breda waited patiently for about five seconds before slapping the unconscious man. He woke with a start, laying back on the floor in relief.
"You guys would not believe the nightmare I just had," he said with a shudder.
"Sorry to say, it was no dream," Roy said under his breath.
Riza wasn't a virgin.
And clearly Roy hadn't known about it, meaning it couldn't have been him...
So who...
"I'm sorry, but did you just admit to the whole team that you're not a virgin?" Rebecca asked, bewildered.
Riza's horrific expression was something Roy had never though he'd live to see.
But he had questions before he could dwell on that.
And he could tell everyone was thinking the same thing.
"When did you even have time to have sex without me knowing?"
"Yeah, when? I mean, you two are together like 90% of the day, if you don't count when you're asleep. And for 5 days of the week! Sometimes even 6!"
Riza was (attempting to) stall for time, as she reflected on that night.
Yep, he wouldn't remember anyway.
Geez, it's a wonder how he gets home from the bar without me. If he can't remember that night in Ishval...
"Riza, now," Maes stated, leaving no room for disagreement. He wanted to know. Now. Partly because he was concerned for both Roy's sanity, and partly because Riza wasn't the type to have sex with a stranger.
But also, his plans for them to be married in the next year might have to be completely rethought!
"Umm... the last night in Ishval?" Riza scratched the back of her neck as Maes did a spit take.
With his actual saliva.
"I'm sorry, I thought you said-"
"Ishval. You heard me right."
The whole room sat in stunned silence.
"So, it was someone we know. Wait, please, please, please tell me it wasn't Kimblee," Roy pleaded, seeds of jealousy being planted in his head.
"What?! Ew, no, that's just... Ugh, how about no," Riza shuddered, trying to get the idea of sleeping with Kimblee out of her head.
Dear god, she feared she would be stuck with that notion for the rest of her life.
Just like that night had been burned into her brain.
Roy, the idiot, had gotten himself completely and utterly drunk.
And had gone to Riza's tent.
And had then found Riza.
Undressing for bed.
Also, under the influence. (It was their last night in Ishval. Alcohol being passed around wasn't a surprise.)
Needless to say, things had 'escalated' from there, and when Riza woke up that morning, the one detail she could recall was falling into her makeshift bed with the man she'd loved since she'd first met him.
Luckily, Roy had absolutely no memory of this night.
As far as he knew, Riza had found him, totally plastered, and let her sleep in her tent; end of story.
Riza had never though much of it. It had been meaningless, just a stupid night of coping with the loss and the celebration of finally getting to leave. And it obviously had meant nothing to Roy; which Riza had no problem with. He couldn't remember a thing.
And of course, she couldn't tell him about it. How does one even start that conversation?
"Why would you do that?" Roy asked, pain breaking through the disbelief for a second. "Why would you just give yourself away some slut?" Roy's word were like a slap. Riza reeled back, obviously hurt by his harshness.
He froze, knowing he'd practically just dug his own grave.
In the moment, it had sounded good in his head. Too bad the real world didn't work like that.
"Shut the fuck up," she spat, knowing full well that their first fight was about to set a record. "You don't know anything."
And with that, she stormed out, head held high as her resolve slowly began to crumble.
"I'm sorry!" He cried, as his two friends kept him from following.
"I didn't mean to!"
Roys backyard was huge.
He owned a lot of land, and his backyard seemed to look over a majority of it.
Riza sat in a patch of flowers, looking at some of the blossoms that had already died. Other still flourished happily, their pink and white blossoms slightly cheering Riza up.
I wonder...
Riza tried to bring the flower back to life.
Really, really tried.
But for some reason, it just wasn't working.
Until Riza frustratedly crumpled a living petal in her fist while trying to resurrect the dead plant.
One, just one petal on the flower had brightened from a withered grayish-brown to a lively white.
And in her hand, lay a dead, lifeless part of a flower.
Just the petal.
And so Riza killed flower after flower, resurrecting one for every one that she killed.
Equivalent exchange.
So life really couldn't be created.
But, it could be transferred...
"I didn't mean to," he repeated over and over again, his mantra haunting his every thought.
I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I'msorryIdidn'tmeanto-
"Roy!" Falman bellowed from across the room, where he was seated. Roy ignored him, continuing his pacing around the house.
"Where'd she go?" He asked Havoc, who was seriously concerned at this point. "I gotta go find her. I gotta find Riza. I need to say sorry." His eyes were frantic, flittering about the whole room.
Havoc roughly grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him with all his might.
"Roy, buddy, go to sleep. We'll get Riza"
"No, I gotta-" Havoc hated to do this, but it was the only way. He punched Roy in the face, hard enough for him to fall to the ground, exhaustion finally taking over. He was dead asleep before his head hit the ground.
Falman helped Havoc get Roy in bed, and the two men began to talk as they settled in front of the two doors leading out of his room. Roy was going to sleep.
"Where do you think Riza went? Thin she'd okay?" Falman asked, careful to keep his voice as low as possible.
"I don't know. I really don't know."
Riza wasn't stupid enough to leave the property.
Maes knew that.
So when he found her in a corner of Roy's vast backyard, he wasn't caught by surprise.
She was sitting in a patch of flowers, about half of them wilted. He didn't find this strange. Recently, Roy had been a bit too busy to worry about the state of the vegetation in his yard.
If he hadn't been so relieved, he might've noticed that the dead flowers and living ones were separated very distinctly.
But he was more worried about her feelings than some flowers.
He crouched down, knowing that they couldn't be seen from the house. She needed to be away from Roy for a while.
She was still crying, though as the tears made trails down to her chin, she made no noise.
She sat with her knees up, leaning up against a willow tree.
She looked lifeless, leaning against that tree as she gazed thoughtfully at the flower in her hand.
He settled into the grass next to her, putting his arm around her shoulder.
"You don't have to pretend," she said in an emotionless voice. "I know you were thinking it too." He simply tugged her closer, somewhat happy that he could play the role of her big brother.
"I wasn't," he promised. "And you know Roy didn't mean it like that."
"What other way could he have meant it?" She asked as she buried her face in his shirt. He shushed her, looking down at the woman who was looking more lost and scared by the second.
"He wasn't thinking. You know how Roy is. He was just upset that you-"
"Had sex? In Ishval? Even though I told him I've loved him since before then? Take your pick Maes. I've made so many mistakes, and he has every right to be upset with me."
He gave her a sad smile, knowing that self-hatred was churning around inside her. And for some reason, it was all her fault. Because in her eyes, having your boyfriend call you a slut was obviously put you at fault.
Besides, he had a feeling that there was more to the story.
"He was just upset at the thought of you with someone else during Ishval. And it's even worse, because he probably knows whoever it is. Same with me. But it was years ago, he hadn't made any move towards making you his, and he shouldn't be upset with you. Though, I'm sure if her ever finds out who it was that took advantage of you then, he'll cut off his-"
"Maes!" she exclaimed, feigning a scandalized look. He grinned at her, happy he'd lifted her spirits at least a little bit.
"He didn't take advantage of me. Sure, it was meaningless and it still is. But that does mean I fell into bed with some guy. Even though I was drunk, doesn't mean I had sex with a stranger. I knew him, and I trusted him. I still trust him. I regret it, though, not as much as I should."
Maes gave her a look, one that was clearly skeptical.
"So, you trusted the guy, had sex with him while somewhat in your right mind, but it still meant nothing. And to make matters worse, you still trust him, and don't really regret it. I sure hope you have a better explanation for Roy, because that just might make him feel worse," he warned her, thinking of how devastated Roy would be.
"Yeah."
He stood, agitated.
"Jeez Riza! Do you even realize what you'll do to him if he hears that explanation? God, it's like you don't even care! I thought you loved him, but if you're still thinking about this 'mystery man' from the past, why are you with Roy? Are you just playing with his heart? is this some sort of game to you?" Maes demanded, finally standing up for his best friend.
"At least tell us who it was! Who is it that still seems to hold power over your heart?!"
She mumbled something, looking down at her knees.
"I'm sorry, but I didn't quite hear you!"
Wow. Who knew Maes had such an explosive temper?
"It was Roy," she repeated, looking back up at him. She squared her shoulders, looking right into his eyes.
Confession time.
"It was Roy."
Okay, forget everything I said at the top. This was probably the worst chapter. Anyway, I'm sorry to drop that on you out of nowhere, but I didn't want to go into the 'life-alchemy' thing just yet.
Besides, the concept of Royai having forgotten sex seems to be a popular theme.
So, life can be transferred from one thing to another. Riza did that with the flowers, as you saw/read. The same principle applies to human lives.
(But don't tell Riza; she doesn't know that yet.)
Remember the whole "Because what could be worth a human life?" thing from the intro? Well I was thinking and I thought: "Oh, maybe another human life...?" I don't know. Probably not. But I needed a storyline, and this is what I came up with.
If you have any thoughts to share, questions to ask, or just feel like hating on this story, leave a review! I'd love to hear anything you have to say!
Sorry for this,
-Pyro