I woke up screaming, that much I remembered. Convinced that he had came back, only this time for my daughter.
"Bo, it's me, it's me relax." I heard a familiar voice as I my arms flailed, blinded by the darkness of the room. "I'm here, it's okay. You're okay babe." the voice whispered, until I felt familiar arms entrap me and pull me close to the curves of a warm bare body beside me.
"Tamsin?" I asked, bleary eyed.
"Hey Succubus." I saw her lips turn at the corners into a smile as she pushed the hair stuck to my forehead out of my face.
"I had a nightmare again." I muttered, actively trying to get the imagery out of my head.
"I know, you were crying in your sleep so I tried to wake you - but then you succu-hulked out on me." she explained, stroking my face as I caught my breath, until another shrill cry filled the air from the corner of the room.
"Oh shit, quick, grab her Tamsin before she wakes Kenzi." I heavily whispered to my valkyrie, half pushing her out the bed as I remembered my sleeping best friend down the corridor - Kenzi practically lived at Hale's now but I did love the nights she came back home, even if they were growing rarer.
"Sweetheart, forget Sif waking her up, the only way Kenzi would have slept through your episode just now is if she died in her sleep last night." Tamsin wrinkled her nose, plucking Sif from her crib. "What's mama's girl making all that noise for?" she cooed, climbing back into bed with our baby pressed securely against her shoulder, before kissing me on the temple. "Do you want your mommy? Is that what this is all over?" Tamsin playfully furrowed her eyebrows, kissing Sif on the tip of the nose as her screams softened into mews.
"She needs feeding, can you turn on a lamp?" I asked as I took my kicking daughter, sitting up to throw my vest off before lying back down in the pillows.
Tamsin switched on the bedside lamp, it's dull light casted the room in warm hues - light enough for me to see what I was doing, but dark enough not to wake us all up. "Sorry babe, I know you have to be up for work in a few hours - do you want me to feed her downstairs?" I asked Tamsin with apologetic eyes.
"No, god no." she whispered, resting her head on her elbow, staring at us contently. "You know, this is the favourite part of my night right?" she smiled.
I shrunk back into the bed as Sif latched on, pulling the sheets a little higher as a pale hand reached out to stroke the crown of her head. "You should get some sleep babe." I suggested as our baby fed hungrily, feeding herself into a quiet trance as her eyes fluttered tiredly.
"I texted Dyson to let him know I'm going to work from home tomorrow, work is work, these moments are precious. I've waited lifetimes for them." she smiled, breathing out a content sigh.
My own eyelids began to flutter as Tamsin's watched over us protectively as Sif sleepily fed away. "I'm so exhausted Tam." I admitted as the lack of sleep that came with the newborn baby was finally getting to me, it felt like no amount of chi in the world could cure the exhaustion that comes with motherhood.
"Go to sleep Bo, I'll stay right here." she promised, knowing that the thought of more nightmares was enough to drive me off the idea of ever sleeping again.
"I can't sleep whilst Sif is feeding." I sleepily replied, my eyes now fully closed as I sunk a little further into the pillows.
"Go to sleep, I'll take care of it." Tamsin whispered against my cheek, kissing my forehead as I drifted asleep along with my daughter.
. . . . . . . . .
I watched them for a while, it was peaceful.
I placed my palm underneath the baby's head as Bo's arms grew limp with sleep, Sif softly fed on Bo, suckling as her eyelids began to droop from the sleep that crept up on her like it did her mother, I couldn't help but stare at them both in adoration as Bo's face stayed slack and peaceful - 'no more nightmares.' I thought.
I looked across my shoulder at the clock to see the time, this time last year if someone woke me up at 5AM it better have been a life or death emergency, it wasn't that valkyries slept a lot, in fact we do the opposite. Valkyries can go weeks without sleep, an ability forged in the heats of war so that we'd stay lucid for as long as it took to win a battle, when we sleep it's for necessity rather than routine. I mainly drank myself into a stupor just so I could sleep most nights, my body giving in to exhaustion just to rid my system of the alcohol. 'There's never anything worthwhile to do in the early hours of the morning' I always thought, until this little one came along.
Most nights I'd just wait until Bo drifted sleep before sneaking out of bed to watch over Sif's crib, keeping her safe from whatever might be lurking in the shadows.
I watched her feed contently before she unlatched, her eyes firmly shut as she drifted asleep. I plucked her from Bo's chest and placed her on my own, for some reason I always felt better when she was asleep on me, I've lived hundreds of lifetimes and I've not always been that good a person in all of them, murder, bloodspill and torture leaves a dirty mark on your soul that never seems to wash clean, a weight on your chest that never really leaves you, maybe it made me feel better when I had Sif in my arms because she weighed so heavy on my heart it distracted me from the other things swirling around in my head.
An hour or so passed through the calming silence of the sleeping crack shack before Sif started whimpering. 'Shit.' I thought, praying she wouldn't wake her other mother up as she rested contently for the first time in what felt like a millenia. "Hey, hey, hey." I hushed the baby in my arms, climbing out of bed to rock her as I walked around the room stealthily silent in the comfy underwear I'd traded for my lingerie.
Sif whimpered an occasional cry as I kissed her deliciously baby soft cheeks. "Did you have a nightmare big girl?" I asked, curious as to whether she picked up on Bo's energy.
"No one is ever going to hurt you liten björn, not whilst mama is here." I softened, rocking her in my arms as she stared up at me, she had my green eyes and blonde hair and Bo's features - a perfect mix of us both.
"Can you say morsa?" I whispered, practicing Scandinavian words like I did most nights she woke up, it wasn't something I really talked about with Bo but it was important to me Sif spoke at least Norwegian, maybe even Swedish too. "What about sommerfugl?" I added, kissing her nose as she stared up at me with intent far greater than the capacity of an average three month old baby. "Don't ever grow up Sif, stay my sweet little baby forever." I frowned, thinking on all the missed childhoods I never got to enjoy.
. . . . . . .
When I opened my eyes again it was morning, I was practically in the same position - topless in bed, only this time there was an apparent absence of my two favourite blondes. I would of been concerned if it wasn't for the chatter I could hear coming from the kitchen and the sound of Elmo coming from the television, I threw my vest back on and made my way downstairs.
"Ah! She lives!" Kenzi joked as I stepped through the kitchen towards the breakfast she was cooking, noticing both her and Tamsin were fully dressed. "Jeez how long did I sleep for?" I asked, rubbing my head as the sluggish feeling started to wear off.
"Don't worry about that, just eat your breakfast." Tamsin smiled, kissing my forehead as I sat at the bar stool.
"Where's Sif? She's due a feed." I quickly remembered.
"Don't worry about that, I took care of it." Tamsin smiled again, clearly proud of herself for her ingenuity.
"I haven't expressed since Kenzi accidentally put it in her coffee, how have you fed her?" I puzzled as Kenzi's face cringed at the memory of the breast milk coffee she accidentally concocted yesterday. "-Did you go on a secret booby raid with her whilst I was asleep?" I asked, remembering that I woke up topless this morning.
"Firstly, I don't tend to take the baby with me when I go on booby raids, she slows me down and she's too little to combat any booby ninjas we may encounter on task. Secondly, I used the formula from the top shelf." she grinned, waiting for me to applaud her for actually being able to find something in the house for once without written instructions and a map.
"You did what?" I growled, shooting a stare towards her as I dropped my knife and fork on the plate.
"Oh shit, Kenzi out." my best friend dead panned, shooting back upstairs to her bedroom where it was safe as I held my stare.
"What?!" Tamsin screwed her face in confusion, eating the piece of bacon in her fingers as I glared at her. "I didn't want to wake you up, you deserved a late morning."
"When did you give her the formula Tamsin?" I prompted her.
"Like, twenty minutes ago - why?" she shot back defensively.
"Remember last week when she wouldn't stop pooping green stuff and you didn't know whether to gag or take her to the emergency room?" I prompted her as her eyes suddenly widened in fear.
"Oh no." she exclaimed.
"Oh yes." I replied, "she hasn't been good on the formula - that's why I moved it out of the way." I furrowed my eyebrows as she seemed to melt under my stare.
"W-will she be okay? Oh god, my baby." Tamsin panicked, a choked noise escaping her throat as she moved to the baby bouncer in front of the television where Sif happily sat watching Elmo and his friends.
I suddenly felt bad for worrying her, it wasn't life or death or anything, it just meant Sif would be crapping every twenty minutes on the dot starting in around ten minutes from now. "She's going to be fine, she didn't even bat an eyelid last time - it just goes straight through her." I explained, following Tamsin to the sofa where she sat staring at Sif waiting for any symptom of illness to whisk her to Lauren's clinic again.
"Wh-what do we do now?" Tamsin asked with uncertainty as Sif's eyes didn't so much as move from the screen.
"What do you mean what do we do? You fed it to her, you can clean up your mess when it comes out the other end." I fired back, remembering the fumes from last week's poop-gate.
"Bo, I gotta head down to the precinct to brief the squad on a drug raid going down in Brazenwood tonight, can you take this one for the squad? Please Isabeau, think of the Squonks that need to be saved." she tried to gain my sympathy, her lips curling into a frown and her eyes widening like a puppy dog's as she tried to worm her way out of this, using dirty dark fae tactics.
"Forget it, the baby carrier is upstairs - you're taking her today, you made this mess - you're clearing it up. Literally." I dug my heels into the ground. "Besides, I was hoping you'd take Sif out today, I really wanted to spend some quality time with Kenzi for a few hours, I've just felt so- so ugly and fat lately and I'm scared I'm losing touch with myself, you know?" I sniffed, lying through my teeth as she fell for it hook, line and sinker. 'You want to use dark fae tactics? I'll teach you every trick in the book baby.' I thought.
"Oh baby." she sighed, her face frowning in concern as she pulled me into her arms whilst I pretended to cry on her shoulder. "I'll take Sif out for a few hours, you spend some girl time with Kenzi, okay? You're so beautiful Bo you could never be ugly or fat." Tamsin comforted me, rubbing my back as I felt a twinge of guilt for playing off of her devotion.
"Okay, if you insist." I nodded, pretending to wipe my eyes as she ran upstairs to get ready for work and grab the diaper bag and baby carrier.
'Tamsin's taking Sif to the office today, wanna watch Jerry Maguire and do a little online wedding dress shopping?' I texted Kenz.
. . . . . . . .
I marched through the office towards the meeting room where the table of burly fae men waited for me to brief them, walking with purpose in my all black ensemble as I ignored everyone's curious looks - I wore the diaper bag around my body like a sash of extra bullets, black cargo pants tucked into my military boots with a gun strapped to my thigh in its holster, along with the Toronto S.W.A.T team t-shirt which was tucked into the utility belt that held the rest of my gear. Not to forget my all black sunglasses which sat on the top of my ponytail. The only thing missing was a cavalier vest - now replaced with an all black baby carrier as Sif sat unbeknowingly strapped to my chest in her own mini matching outfit - black sweatpants and co-ordinating t-shirt along with her own pair of baby sunglasses. Courtesy of Acacia.
"Morning gentlemen." I commented, moving to the head of the table as I threw case files down on the table.
"Starting her a little early don't you think Tams?" Dyson interjected as I let out a gruff sigh.
"Firstly, I'm not going to be at the raid tonight and neither is she." I said, pointing down to the baby attached to my chest as she stared at the men sat around in wonder. "This brief is being headed by Detective Inspector Tamsin Dennis and the newly promoted Junior Detective Sif Dennis, if anyone has a problem with that can I politely suggest you all take your formal complaints to the Commissioner and -go fuck yourself-" I scowled, clicking the remote to start the projector. "Now if we're all done, let's talk the breakdown of the brief."
"Bruce will lead a team to take the south entrance of Brazenwood and wait for the three count from Dyson to storm the pharmacy once he's cleared the area with team B." I began to explain clicking through the slides of aerial shots of Brazenwood's layout, until the god awful smell hit us.
"Oh good gods what is that?" a young officer in the back asked as he choked on the stench.
"It's nothing, it's nothing." I repeated, looking down at Sif who was sat blissfully unaware of the chaos her stink butt was causing.
"Are you sure? It kind of smells like something? Like a big something Tamsin." Dyson cut in, gagging on his acute scent of smell. "Seriously Tamsin if you're going to cut the cheese at least have the decency to leave the room." he gagged.
"It's not me, it's Sif." I tried to explain as judgemental looks were thrown at me for blaming the baby. "You." I lowered my voice, pointing to the light elf who sat closest to me, clearly here on one of Hale's exchange programs. "I can't change Sif's diaper right now so you're going to need to do it - be careful, she hates wet wipes but if you do it quickly enough she won't freak out." I explained, passing her the baby as the smell nearly made me retch.
"I-I'm sorry, I can't do that." she muttered, trying her hardest not to breathe as she held my baby at arms distance.
"I wasn't asking, it was an order. Do it now." I growled, handing her the diaper bag. "Remember what I said about the wet wipes, if that baby comes back in here looking as if she's so much as whimpered I will tear you apart limb by limb." I growled as she furiously nodded her head and made a dash for the toilets.
"Now boys - back to business." I announced nonchalantly, impressed I'd gotten out of changing Sif's diaper myself.
"Er-Tamsin? I think Dave's passed out." I heard a voice from the back announce as I turned to see the lumbering giant lying across the table - apparently knocked out from the odour.