"Dyson, if I could come, I would come, but right now wherever Tamsin goes I go, and she's definitely not in the mood to party." I reiterated over the phone as he huffed loud enough for Tamsin to hear across the room as she lay curled on the sofa.

"Can't Sif babysit her or something? Come on Succubus we all miss you!" he laughed, trying to persuade me again as I leaned against the counter, weighing up my options of how angry Tamsin would be if I snuck off to the birthday party for half an hour.

"As tempting as that is Wolfboy, and believe me - it's tempting. I have a heavily pregnant wife to take care of." I said as Tamsin's ears burnt red, before I knew it she flew off of the sofa and cut an angry figure waddling towards me in her yoga pants, snatching the phone out of my hand.

"Dyson? It's Tamsin speaking." she growled. "My vagina is about to turn into a train station, I'm literally ready to fire a tiny human like a military grade missile launcher, I feel so weak from pregnancy that it hurts to cough, I've got anxiety going through to roof like Chernobyl and to top it all off, I'm so goddamn fat I've got a constant river of sweat dripping down my ass crack - so if my wife says she's not going to your shitty ass pre-birthday lunch because she wants to take care of me, you better listen to her, otherwise I will personally pay the Morrigan to brand a picture of my episiotomy across your fucking forehead." she hissed into the receiver, rubbing her belly in soothing circles as if Dyson had some how managed to also piss our child off in vitro.

'What the hell is an episiotomy?' I heard Dyson ask on the other end of the phone, cringing for him internally as I saw a flash of rage cross Tamsin's glazed eyes.

"It's a ten blade scalpel going through the last of my self restraint. I will immediately jump off the bed and jack knife kick you in the fucking jaw with myfoot bone." she yelled, slamming the phone down as I stood like a deer in headlights, thankful that Acacia had offered to babysit Sif for a week so she could be around other little valkyries and learn more about her Scandinavian heritage.

Tamsin and I stood for a moment as her heavy breaths filled the silence. "Are you feeling okay?" I asked her, leaning closer to touch her stomach as she nodded her head.

"Nesting." she murmured an explanation, trailing her way back to the sofa where she clung to Sif's blanky. "We're going to get Sif later, I don't want her staying with my mom I've changed my mind." she added as she breathed in the scent of the blanket.

"Tamsin, it was your idea in the first place that she spend some time with your kind." I countered, joining her on the leather sofa as One Born Every Minute blurred in the background.

"What do you mean 'your kind'?" she growled a little, her eyes narrowing as she challenged me, the pregnancy hormones wrecked her body to the point that I hadn't quite recognised her the last few weeks during her mood swings.

"Relax T, you know what I meant." I quickly replied, giving her some of my charms as my fingertips rubbed the legs she placed in my lap, massaging her tired muscles.

"You're cheating." she pouted, closing her eyes as the blue chi tingling her skin forced her mood to mellow.

"I'm taking care of my wife." I explained with a knowing grin, leaning forward to kiss the corner of her mellowed smile. "Why don't you want Sif to stay with Acacia? I thought you wanted Sif to learn more about the Valkyrja?" I asked, propping myself up on the pillow - prepared to listen to her worries like we'd been practicing the last few months, although it had been working. No more nightmares since we hit the third trimester mark.

"She's a valkyrie Bo, one day she's going to have battles and wars to watch over, but for now I just want her to be little. When the time comes for her to learn how to fight, I'll be the one to teach her, just like Acacia taught me." she sighed, scratching her forehead.

"You're eight months pregnant Tamsin you're not playing with swords, the only fighting I want you to do is with the straps on your maternity bra." I laughed at her, pulling her into my embrace as she tried desperately to keep a stern face and not crack into a laugh too.

"Say that again and I'll kick your sweet little ass, I've still got it." she winked, pulling me in for a kiss as her lips gently grazed against my own and left me wanting more before we both quickly realised we had the house to ourselves. Her fingers traced over the curves of my body, underlining and capitalizing every point of interest like a writer with their work of art, before ripping open the corset that barely kept my figure together - her hands hungrily groping my curves as her tongue teased our kiss.

My hands quickly melded into our intertwined bodies, cradling the bottom of her stomach as my other hand worked it's way to the back of her bra before she grabbed my wrist and placed it on the back of the sofa, grinding her core into my lap as a whimper escaped her throat and sent me into overload. "I might not be able to fight, but you can believe I'm still a master of psychological warfare." she whispered in my ear, hopping out of my lap and making her way to the kitchen.

"You have got to be kidding me." I growled, shooting her a look that told her that she better be playing.

"Baby, I don't kid." she sweetly smiled, closing the fridge door as she waved a snapple towards me. "You look as if you have a thirst that needs… quenching." she teased as I glared at her. "What? You married me!" she laughed.

'I pledge my fealty, my sword and my heart to serve you. I will be at your side until the dawn of the last days..' I mocked her as I stared at the TV pretending to not be as sexually frustrated as I clearly was, recounting her words when our souls bonded.

Even at eight months pregnant she moved stealth and quickly like a shadow as her arms draped over my shoulders, her fingers caressing my skin. "And I will, just because you're my wife doesn't mean I can't tease you every once in a while." she smirked, moving my long dark hair out of the way as she kissed the soft flesh of my neck. "First one to the bedroom gets to wear the strap on." she teased, nipping my earlobe as I shot off of the couch before she so much as finished her syllable, racing towards the staircase as I grinned at my head start before I noticed the lack of footsteps racing to get ahead of me.

I turned just in time to see her vanish into thin air, the aura sparkling around where she stood a split second ago as I gritted my teeth at the injustice. "You can't teleport, that isn't fair." I shouted.

"Come on little spoon, I've got a present with your name written all over it." she teased as I heard her voice drift from the bedroom.