Chapter 7. Wrecked

Reno's POV

My sleep was uneventful, probably because I wasn't out long enough to dream, though I have been protesting being awake since my eyes opened and my neck made it very, very clear that it didn't appreciate the position I had passed out in. There's a wet spot on the couch where I spilled the whiskey nightcap that had tucked me into the warm arms of sleep in the wee hours of the morning and now, in the less wee hours of the morning, I'm trying to mop the mess up. The stain is going to be there no matter what I do, but I can at least try to make it look less like I had a gastrointestinal blowout on the couch. It won't work, but at least I gave it a shot, right?

When I pull into work, I see two cars that make my grimacing and pained face light up with glee. Rude and Elena are back and Gods above and below, I have missed them so much.

I rush into the office lounge, glad to see them but also surprised that they're here. Rude grunts at me and Elena scoots her chair away from him, letting me know that the conversation I just walked in on was probably private bitching that I ain't allowed in on. Whatever; I ignore it and plop myself into Rude's lap, planting a large, wet smooch on his cheek. "Rudey, baby! You've been gone so long!"

"It's only been a week, you brat." He wipes his face, but there's a smile for me behind the disgust at the slobber I just left on his cheek.

I wrap my good arm around his neck and lean backwards towards Elena, expectantly offering her my cheek. "Where's my sugar, Laney-pie?"

Her girlish giggle that I've come to love is cut short by a small outburst of disgust after she gives me a light peck, her hand coming up to her mouth. "Ew! You're all stubbly!"

"So I haven't shaved in like, four days. Big whoop." I roll my eyes, rubbing my cheek as a small test for the stubble that offended her. I don't grow facial hair well, but after a few days of no-shave-November in August, even I get a nice red shadow across my face. It's not as filled out as Rude's well kept and maintained goatee, but it's there nonetheless. Even Tseng ends up with five o'clock shadow when given enough time to breed it, which is hard for a Wutain to do, if the stereotype is correct.

"Why haven't you shaved? That's nasty. Your face is nasty." She wrinkles her nose, taking a sip of coffee that's probably got an entire cow's worth of cream in it.

"Hey, my face is perfection. Quit bein' jealous."

"Your face is just an ass with eyes."

"At least I don't look like a thumb with a moustache, Rude."

"Children, stop fighting." Well damn, we were just getting started! Curses on Tseng for being able to spoil a good time. "Good to see you back; Elena, Rude. You left them with Lee?" Of course they stuck Lee with boss babysitting duty. As a Junior Turk he automatically draws the short straw. If I had been in their shoes I would've done the same thing.

"Yes, sir." Elena speaks, like that's any damn surprise, as Rude nods in affirmation. "All three of them are accounted for and Lee most likely has a splitting headache by now."

"Is Caleb sick or are Rufus and Hannah fighting again?" Tseng pulls up a chair, laying his tablet on the table and giving Elena his full attention. I swear, someday his eyes are going to fall out of his head if he keeps taking work home with him on that damn thing.

"Both, actually. Rufus and Hannah are fighting because Caleb is sick. Apparently Hannah is convinced that we let her little angel lick doorknobs. How else would a pre-schooler get the flu?" The eye roll Elena and Rude simultaneously deliver is a good sign that Rufus' fiance is being a raging bitch again. She's good at that.

"Mothers are protective, Elena. She'll calm down." Tseng gives as diplomatic as answer as he can, but I know that inwardly he's cringing up a storm. "Is that why you're back from Junon early?"

"That and Reeve and Rufus managed to wrap things up early. We had to step in though. Did you get the email I sent you last night on the matter?" That angelic little face of her's is looking much darker now. I haven't even glanced at the email that I likely received along with Tseng, but I can tell from the shadow that flickered behind her eyes and the slight tensing of Rude's face that they had to get their hands dirty.

"Actually, I called Rufus last night and he explained the matter to me in exaggerated detail. He didn't inform me that you were coming back last night though. I presume he didn't want a check up from me?"

Rude answers this time, his hand reaching up to catch mine and set it in my lap since I've been playing with his piercings for about five minutes. "Caleb is sick and Hannah is bitching. He spared you."

"I'll thank him when I stop by tonight."

"Reno, why is your arm in a sling?" Gotta congratulate Elena on those astonishing powers of perception she's got.

"I-"

"He and Avery managed to catch a Fantasy dealer in Midgar. There was a friendly fire mishap." I glare at Tseng when he cuts me off, but like normal he ignores my indignant stare.

Both of them blanch; none of us like discussing going into Midgar anymore. Rude sets a hand on my knee and squeezes lightly, a reassuring gesture of protectiveness that I appreciate. "Avery shot him? Was it on purpose?" One of Elena's eyebrows has disappeared behind those asymmetrical bangs she wears while the other is trying to fly off her face. She has some exaggerated facial expressions sometimes, but it's part of her charm. She's fairly easy to read when she's caught off guard, but who isn't?

"It wouldn't be friendly fire then, would it, Laney?"

"Right, right sorry. Ricochet?"

"Ricochet."

And like that, the conversation is over and the tension dissipates. Rude's hand leaves my knee, I resume tugging at his guages, and Tseng and Elena go back to discussing the news of the day. I almost have them tuned out because Rude and I are having a silent battle of wills along with an awkward arm wrestling match as we stare each other down while fighting over whether or not I get to keep toying with his damn ear when I hear my name pop up in a context I'm not particularly fond of. I give up on Rude and swivel in his lap, sitting upright. "Excuse me, I believe I just heard myself get volunteered for babysitting the sick four year old and I'd like to use this opportunity to play the sick-slash-injured card and opt out of that."

"Reno, you like Caleb. He thinks on your level." Everyone but me giggles at Elena's little attempt at smart-assery, but I plaster a deep frown on my face.

"I ain't in no shape to be a human jungle gym for the sticky little monkey!"

"Double negative, Reno."

"Shut up, Rude." I thump Rude's knee with my good arm, glad to hear a little swear when his reflexes make him kick the table leg.

"Reno, don't be a pill." Gods, sometimes Tseng sounds like a senior citizen. "Caleb likes you and Rufus is taking Hannah out tonight. Someone has to babysit and I just got volunteered to watch the big baby and his future wife. Want to trade? I'll take a runny nose over a runny mouth."

I cringe. I don't hate Hannah, none of us do, but she talks as much as Elena used to. "I changed my mind; I can babysit just fine."

"That's what I thought." Tseng smiles at me, just a little, and despite my desire to glower at being put on guard duty for the toddler, I want to beam back at him. I dunno why. I always want to smile when he does it first. I settle for a half smile and look away, clearing my throat. He clears his too and stands, grabbing his tablet off the table and making his way to the coffee pot. "Reno, your captive should be sober in a few days. We need to discuss what methods we'll be using in front of Avery. It's her first interrogation with us and I don't want to baby her, but I don't want to shelter her either."

"Where is she anyways?" Elena looks to me, head canted to one side.

"I told her to come in this afternoon instead of this mornin'. A reward for shooting me and getting me put on light duty until Tseng cracks and let's me heal my arm up proper." I snicker and Rude thumps me in the back of the head lightly. I know he wants to laugh too, but he can restrain himself. I give it about four days before Tseng caves under my needling and the pressure of necessity and lets me magic my arm back to full functionality. He's convinced that if we keep using magic to rapidly heal ourselves, we'll end up with cancer or something. He's probably not wrong, but the chances of any of us getting cancer from materia use are so damn slim it's laughable. If nothing else I'll get lung cancer before magic cancer. Cigs aren't called cancer sticks for nothing, after all.

Tseng rolls his eyes and turns to leave the lounge, a mug of coffee in one hand and his tablet clutched in the other. "You're all dismissed. Rude, Elena, I want full reports of what happened over the week by Wednesday. Reno, I want you to write me a report of your trip to Midgar and I want it before you go to Rufus' at five o'clock. Remember that we're getting a new set of potential recruits on Saturday so Reno, brush up what you want to say when we address them. Reeve has had the WRO generals pull up nearly a dozen very viable candidates for us so we all should take a glance at their records over the week to acquaint ourselves with what we'll be training to potentially fill those gaps we have."

"You mean that gaps we've had for like, six years?" I snigger softly, shaking my head. We've been trying to replace everyone who deserted or died after the Zirconiade and the Jade Weapon shit went down, but that's been a long, bloody process. The few of us who remained to clean up after that mess was made are, as stated, very few. We used to have over a dozen Turks and, while we've been dealing the past six years with under seven, sometimes even with only two, we really need to bolster up our numbers.

"Yes, Reno, those gaps. Oh, and Reno?" Tseng turns, looking at me seriously. "We have a meeting this afternoon. Three o'clock. Don't be late."

"I make no promises." I smirk, hopping off Rude's lap and trudging to my office to get some coffee that Elena hasn't had a chance to ruin with creamer. I feel the glare Tseng gives me for my flippant dismissal of his concerns, but he knows better than to pester me, I think. If he gives me enough gruff about showing up to the meeting on time I'll skip it altogether just to piss him off. I should honestly work harder to gain his approval and cooperate better and do my job the way it's meant to be done, but where the hell is the fun in that?

When I enter my office, I think my struggle with the door is because I tried using my bum arm first. Then, cursing and spitting as I shove against my door, I realize that the problem lies less with me and more with the rubbish strewn in front of the door and across the floor. Once I manage to get the door open, I spy the reason for the sudden increase in mess.

Cait Sith is sitting in the middle of my office, the eye of this messy shitstorm that has officially wrecked my office. He doesn't seem to notice that I've come in, Reeve's obviously stressing over something if half of his brain is so hell bent on destroying my office that it hasn't taken into account that I might actually kill him for this shit.

Once I'm right behind him, he seems to notice me, if his terrified squeak is anything to go by. I grab his cape as he tries to scamper back to the air vent he must have come in through and lift his disarmingly heavy metal body by it, doing my best to keep a hold of him. I want to chuck him across the room, to beat the little shit until he's nothing but fur and bolts on my floor, but I know that would give Reeve a splitting migraine and render him completely useless for the rest of the day. Normally I wouldn't mind giving the man a bit of grief, especially since he just made a mess in my room, even if he didn't do it consciously, but we've got a meeting this afternoon and he did just get back from a long week in Junon dealing with Rufus and quite a few other big wallets for the WRO, so I figure he's suffered enough to justify this weird ass cat's obnoxious behavior.

"Put me down!" Shrieking and yowling like the cat he's designed after, Cait Sith valiantly attempts to free himself of my grasp. His efforts are for naught, however, as there is no way I will be letting the little asshole loose until I get some clarification and custodial assistance regarding his mess.

"Explain before I take you apart and turn you into a fuzzy footrest." I face the cat towards me, putting enough of a death threat into my eyes to let him know I'm not taking excuses.

Cait squirms for a few moments more, whimpering pathetically. I know he could free himself if he wanted to, he's a fifty pound cat robot and while I can hold him up, if he really wanted to put up a struggle I'd have some trouble keeping my grip on him. I think he may just know that freeing himself now would mean he'd become target practice later. Pouting at me, he crosses his arms over his chest and gives a raspy sounding sigh. "I'm looking fer a blueprint Reeve sent over. He wasn't done with it and it got sent over."

"Dude, Cait, why the hell did you destroy everything to get it back? That doesn't make sense. My office looks like a crazed chocobo went through it. Why didn't you just wait for me to come back and I woulda given it to ya. I know where everythin' is you fucked up cat!" And with that admonishment, I drop the little bastard right back into his mess. "This mess best be cleaned up. You've got till I get back. Where the hell is my laptop you rat?"

"The desk." Cait starts grumbling as he picks up papers, his tail twitching in annoyance at being forced to clean my office. "Where's the bloody blueprint?"

"If the room is clean when I get back, I'll give it to you. Little bastard." I grumble at him, taking my laptop from the desk and stomping out of the room with it under my arm. As I'm leaving I hear that dumb accent call out a question, probably about when I would be returning, but I leave without answering. I'm going to be working in Rude's office until the brat is done. I hate Reeve's silly creations sometimes. The Reeve-suits that Cait wears sometimes really creep me out. I never can be sure if I'm talking to the real Reeve.

That thought alone is a little disturbing.