AN: IMPORTANT! Trigger warning - character death, I wanted to be evil and write something challenging so here it is. Some of you will love how emotionally exhausting the read will be, some of you will think I'm the Morrigan for how evil it is. All that matters is that you review and tell me what you think! They'll definitely be some much needed fluff over the next few stories so tell me what things you'd like to see.
"Sif will you play birdies with me?" Elin asked with that quiet and hopeful voice, her best Puss in Boots eyes staring up at her big sister as I pretended not to eavesdrop. Elin worshipped the ground Sif walked on, whatever her big sister did, she wanted to do. I already knew what was going to unfold, the girls adore each other but Sif's world is very black and white, like Tamsin. Whereas Elin is a little more gentle and colourful, Trick says she gets it from my grandmother Isabeau but I like to think it's a little more closer to home and she picks it up from me.
Kenzi and I were drinking coffee in the kitchen, talking about the new case we'd just taken on but her voice quickly became background noise whilst I strained to hear Sif's response. "No Elin, you can't play birdies because you don't have wings." Sif explained, shattering Elin's little heart. "Why don't we play with your dollies instead?" she suggested, picking up the Barbie from the floor as I watched a small bottom lip start to tremble and a little hand wipe away hurt tears.
Kenzi snapped her fingers to get my attention back in the room as my stare wandered over to my crying five year old. "Yo Succu-momz, are you even listening? What are we going to do about the missing Luduan?" She exasperatedly sighed.
"Not now Kenzi, give me a second." I answered, jumping from my chair to play Mom.
"Hey guys, what's going on here?" I asked, crouching down and opening my arms as Elin's chest violently hiccuped trying to hold back the tears, before her little body crashed into me for a much needed hug.
"I said we could play dollies, or even draw pictures but she just wants to play Birds Mom." Sif explained, her eyes filled with genuine concern as if she had no idea how to remedy this situation.
"Why can't your sister play Birds with you?" I asked, rubbing Elin's back as her little arms stayed firmly wrapped around my neck.
"Well she's too little Mom. She doesn't have wings and last time she tried to copy me and jump down the stairs, she nearly hurt herself." Sif reasoned.
I hate to say it - but her reasoning was pretty good, Elin was a stickler for copying all of us. It took us three months to get her to stop calling the other kids at school Asshats after she heard Tamsin say it once in the car, although hearing her call Tamsin 'Mama-Asshat' in her sweet and gentle tone for a week straight is still one of my favourite parenting moments, ever.
"Hey Little-dude, why don't you colour some pictures with Sif and when Mama comes home from work you can play Birdies with her? How does that sound?" I tried to reason, knowing how much she loved seeing Tamsin's big and glorious wings flutter, it was natural for people to fear her when she was in her true Valkyrie form, but Elin was convinced Tamsin was secretly a butterfly.
It had taken Elin a while to come around to it all in the beginning, when she was two she toddled into the living room whilst Tamsin was asleep on the sofa, what most people who aren't married to a Valkyrie don't realise is that sometimes when they have nightmares they can cast doubt in their sleep, like a night terror.
"Mommy!" I heard her wail, I raced into the living room to see her staring at Tamsin's Valkyrie face for the first time.
I tried to reassure her, assuming her wails were from the uncertainty of where Mama's normal face was, "Oh it's okay Buddy, It's still Mama she's just wearing her special face." I explained, it was only when I looked a little closer and saw Tamsin's jaw clenching and half asleep mumbles escaping her lips which were curled into a snarl that my stomach flipped.
I launched over the back of the Chesterfield sofa and grabbed the glass of ice water on the coffee table, and in one foul swoop I threw the entire contents over Tamsin head. She jumped off of the sofa and inhaled the deepest breath from the startle.
"What the hell are you doing!" I screamed at her, swooping down and cradling our horrified crying daughter as water dribbled down her hollow face.
"I was fighting waffle giants, but they kept getting syrup in my wings and I couldn't fly." she mumbled, still unsure on where she was as I rocked a screaming Elin in my arms. "Why is Elin crying?" Tamsin asked with concern as she finally came around.
"Why don't you look in the mirror Asshat?" I growled.
Tamsin turned to face the mirror over the mantlepiece as guilt filled her hollow eyes in the reflection. "Shit." she hissed.
"Yeah." I agreed, "Shit."
"It's okay Elin, Mama's here..." Tamsin tried to calm down our toddler, even with her normal face back Elin furiously kicked and screamed trying to get away from her.
It took two weeks of Tamsin wearing her Valkyrie face constantly in the house (with wings, mind you.) giving Elin endless bitesized Milky Way bars before her little two year old mind was satisfied that Mama's Valkyrie face wasn't all that bad.
I smiled at the memory, as Elin stepped out of my embrace and took Sif's extended hand. "Okay Mommy, but Mama has to be the dragon again…" Elin negotiated, her favourite game involving her clinging tightly to Tamsin's back in between her wings whilst her mother pretended to breathe fire on everything.
"Oh don't worry about that kiddo, Mama has always been a dragon lady… according to Uncle Dyson at least." I smiled sweetly, watching them run off to play.
"Come on Pop-pop's, let's draw a picture for Mom." Sif encouraged her.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Mom I'm just going out on the street to play with the boys." Sif called from the hallway, hurriedly tying her shoelaces as I clocked Tamsin stand up from her seat at the kitchen table ready to put an end to that idea.
"Hey." I whispered, grabbing her toned arm as I saw the vein practically burst in her neck that our daughter was going out to play with boys. "Mrs Willard's boys are sweet kids, they're in the same class as Sif." I tried to reason with her as Scandinavian eyes turned to stare at me with a thousand 'nopes.'
"Yeaaaah." she wrinkled her nose, "It's a no from me." she said, crossing her arms as I gave her the 'really?' facial expression I'd mastered after years of raising children with her.
"Okay Simon Cowell, sit down and finish your sandwich." I ordered with a small, tight smile. Her eyes still staring at me before she finally caved and took her seat with a sigh, her shoulders slumping over her plate.
"Fine but she's taking Sir Bruce." Tamsin tried to compromise as she took Elin's plastic plate to help cut off her sandwich crust.
"Why, what's Bruce going to do?" I threw her a curious look.
"Three boys." she said, holding up three fingers to iterate her point. "Three sets of Cerberus jaws that will crush their weiners if they so much as breathe on her." she smiled, clenching the three upright fingers into her fist.
I rolled my eyes and turned back to the clue board I was putting together on the counter. "Sif you better get your ass out of this house before your mother gets into a fight with your friends." I smirked.
"Please don't let her do it again Mom, it's so embarrassing." she called back before darting out of the door.
"Mama I want to play outside too." I heard our daughter sweetly plead with Tamsin as she cut up the peanut butter sandwich on Elin's plate into triangles for her.
"Well…" Tamsin thought aloud, pausing to kiss the crown of Elin's dark ringlet hair. "When we've finished our sandwiches, we can play in the yard?" she smiled, capturing Elin's chin in between her thumb and index finger before turning to her own plate.
"But I want to play with Sif and her friends…" she mumbled with disappointment.
"Sif and her friends are bigger than you." I tried to explain gently, joining them at the table with a cup of coffee as another vein in Tamsin's forehead threatened to burst at how grown up our babies were getting. I patted her knee and gave her the 'I'll take care of this.' look until she hesitantly turned back to her sandwich.
Elin's bottom lip trembled and tears sprang in her eyes. "Is it because I'm not special Mommy?" she asked with a broken heart.
"Woah, what?" Tamsin spat her food out. "You and Sif are the most special things in our life..." Tamsin reasoned, putting her hand around Elin's shoulder.
"But you all have super powers and I don't." she thought aloud, her big green eyes filled with disappointment.
I sat and thought about what to say, I didn't even know that she knew enough about the Fae to realise she was different and in all honesty, I didn't know what to say. "You don't know what your super powers are yet because you're still a baby, but you'll grow into them." I reassured her, leaning across the table to kiss her cheek and wipe her eyes. "Okay?"
she hiccuped and wiped her sniffles, nodding her head before palming one of her peanut butter triangles off onto the dog. "I never get to do the things Sif does." she sighed, wiggling down from her chair.
"I have an idea…" Tamsin suggested, clearing the plates away from the table. Elin curiously followed her mother to the kitchen counter, waiting to hear the plan. Tamsin grabbed a dish towel from the draw and fastened it around Elin's neck like a cape. "Why don't you go and watch Sif from the window for me, that way you can practice using your superpowers to keep her safe in case anything happens and then once I've finished talking to Mommy, we can plant some more flowers in the garden, sound good?" she suggested, straightening down the shoulders of Elin's tiny cape.
"Okay!" she grinned, racing off to clamber up the back of my good sofa and no doubt scuff the leather, Tamsin stood triumphantly with a shit eating grin that she'd won this round with our five year old.
"That's cruel, you're going to make her sit in the window and watch the other kids play outside?" I narrowed my gaze, until soft long fingers wrapped around my wrist and gently pulled me into an embrace.
"No." she mused, "It's cruel and genius because I now have a mini detective keeping an eye on her big sister and neither of them know." she bragged, "Pure genius right?"
"You're a terrible person." I laughed, kissing her lips as I pulled her over towards the clue board. "Now come on, I need your evil genius brain to figure out the connection in this case for me."
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Mama." the small voice called.
"One sec, I'm nearly done." Tamsin called back, her gaze tightly focused on the case notes I'd pushed under her nose as we figured out this mystery.
"Mommy." the small voice called again with a little more urgency.
I kept my stare trained on the symbol in front of me that we'd found in the Luduan's apartment as I couldn't for the life of me figure out where I'd seen it before. "We'll be right there Honey." I hollered back.
"This has Bastian written all over it." I murmured to Tamsin as she put down the case notes.
"Whoever it is you're dealing with, they're not Dark Fae that's for sure." she sighed, running a hand through her hair as I saw her brain ticking. "That symbol is the Borjgali." she pointed out, tapping the picture of the symbolic tree.
"...The Tree of Life." I nodded, finally realising where I'd saw it before.
Tamsin flicked through the case notes, trying to find a particular page as I examined the symbol a little closer. "Here, see." she added, giving me the case study back. "the Dobrovolsky family were in town the night your Luduan disappeared..."
"Mama hurry up!" Sif shouted again.
"Wait a second." Tamsin called back as I read the report in front of me.
"What would Light Fae want with Light Fae?" I asked with uncertainty.
"Light Fae wouldn't want anything with Light Fae..." she reiterated, "but I can think of a travelling Light, Georgian end-of-days cult that would want a Luduan." she added, giving me her shit eating victory grin for a second time as the pieces began to fit together.
I turned around just in time to see a little dot wearing a cape run through the hallway, until I heard the familiar click of the front door opening as it dawned on me that it was still unlocked from earlier.
"Elin!" I shouted, running after her as Tamsin followed me in quick pursuit.
I practically tripped over my own feet as I fell out of the front door, my five year old was already half way down the driveway as my eyes drifted to Sif wrestling with the boys in the yard across the street. "No…" I breathed, knowing how this scene was about to unfold, she must of saw them playing out of the window and thought Sif was in trouble.
"Elin stop right now!" I heard Tamsin screech behind me, catching Sif's attention from across the street as our eldest daughter looked up in time to see Elin fly down the end of the driveway, not stopping to turn around once. Her legs jumped up from the grass where she was wrestling with her friends and she began running out of the yard across the street to catch her sister.
My knees collapsed underneath me as I watched Elinrun out onto the road, her makeshift cape blowing behind her as the world turning in slow motion, she froze like a deer in headlights directly in front of a car that just couldn't hit the breaks in time.
I closed my eyes and by the time I opened them again, she was lying still on the road. Too still. My legs wouldn't work, I fought them to try and stand up and run but they'd turned to jelly. I managed to take fourteen wobbly steps in front of me, fourteen of the longest steps I'll ever take in my life before I collapsed at her side where Tamsin sat, the noise that came from her chest wasn't describable, it wasn't screaming, it was blood curdling squealing, like the sound of an animal being lead to the slaughterhouse as she held Elin's head to her shoulder.
"Somebody call 9-1-1." the driver shouted as I looked up for the split second it took to make eye contact with Sif and see her heart break into two just before Mrs Willard dragged the kids into the house away from the catastrophe unfolding outside.
I tried to grab Elin out of Tamsin's arms but my wife turned her body away from me. "Don't look Bo, please don't look." she begged me, hyperventilating as the panic in her eyes made my stomach do backflips.
"I can save her!" I screamed, snatching her little body from Tamsin's hesitant arms, cradling her as I prayed to every far away god, in every far away world to let her chest flutter with just one breath. Just one breath, or gasp of air to let me know she was going to be okay. It was only when I pulled away from my embrace to give her chi that I saw what Tamsin was so frightened for me to see, there was so much blood.
I laid her down gently in my lap and kept my hand pressed to her head, desperately trying to stop the blood as I forced as much chi into her little body as I could, but it just wasn't enough.
"Take mine." Tamsin begged, grabbing my face and forcing me to pull stream after stream of chi from her to give to our daughter.
Each breath of life I put in her little bones, quickly escaped her lips again as I prayed to see the flutter of a breath just once.
"Tamsin it's not working." I sobbed, grabbing her shoulders as I searched her eyes for a plan, for some reassurance that it would all be okay.
"Take all of it." Tamsin growled, grabbing my collar and pulling me closer as she opened her lips.
"What?" I cried, "Ta-Tamsin you'll die."
Watery green eyes locked onto mine, she didn't need to say anything, the sorrow in her eyes said it all.
I pulled the chi from her body, pulling and pulling as my head felt dizzy from having so much of it in my veins, I kept pulling until I felt her grip grow lighter on my shoulders. I cut off the stream and started breathing it into Elin, her little mouth hanging agape and her skin white as a sheet, but it didn't work.
"Take more." Tamsin begged me, her eyes wild with fear as the ambulance finally arrived.
"You'll die." I sobbed, holding onto her like a buoy at sea with tsunami waves crashing over my bones as a swarm of paramedics crowded around Elin's tiny body.
"I don't care, take it all. Save her Bo." she pleaded, fear and anger swirling around those big green eyes as she gripped my throat so tight I felt like I couldn't breathe. Pulling me closer to her lips as tears streamed down my eyes and I refused to feed. "Take it Bo." she repeated, even sterner as my tears broke into sobs as she loosened her grip and collapsed onto my shoulder.
"I won't lose you both, they'll save her." I sobbed into her neck, replaying the exact moment in my head that Elin froze and turned just in time to see the car hurtling towards her.
"You don't understand." she wailed, "Valkyries can sense death, she's already gone." something inside of me fractured and turned into dust, my body trembling as Tamsin's words echoed around my head.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"I'm so sorry." No. Stop. This isn't happening. This isn't real.
"Braindead." Shut up. Stop. Make this all stop. This isn't real.
"It's likely that she wouldn't have been in any pain." She's five. I won't bury another daughter. She's five. Likely isn't good enough. She's five. This isn't real.
I couldn't absorb any of the information Lauren was giving me, my body was numb and my legs were heavy like lead. I turned to face Bo, to search her big brown eyes for an answer, but she wasn't there, I wondered where she was for a moment, until I looked further down and my gaze met her collapsed on the floor with grief.
"It's going to be okay." I heard Dyson's rough voice promise, running down the hospital corridor towards us as he scooped Bo off the floor and into his arms. "It's going to be okay." he said a little more nervously, looking Lauren in the eyes for confirmation as she discretely shook her head, and looked to floor.
"Save her." I pleaded, the pain too much to bear as I tried to picture a world without Elin running her fingers through my hair, or making me pick stupid bluebells with her in the park to give to Bo.
"Tamsin, go and be with her." Lauren frowned, grasping my hand so tightly. "She needs her Mommy and Mama for this part."
"I came as soon as I heard." Acacia's voice boomed down the corridor, out of breath as her, my father, Kenzi and Trick ran down the white tiles to join us.
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
We all sat in the hospital room, the lights dimmed so they weren't too bright. The sound of the ventilator breathing for her was the only sound that filled the room as my father's eyes burnt bright red with tears he would not allow to escape into the world, his shoulders stiff.
"We should hurry this up and turn the machines off." I brushed off, wiping my tears as I crossed my legs, shocked stares honed in on me. I glanced up and thought Bo might fly over and peel my skin off from the look of disgust written all over her face. "What?" I shrugged, sniffing back tears as I tried to convince myself this could be fixed. "We're Valkyries, right Acacia?" I asked, Freyja's crown now sitting firmly on her head as I turned to glance at the little body tucked into hospital sheets, too still for a five year old. "Elin is a Valkyrie too, and she was running to save Sif-" my broken voice cut off as my chest burst with a fresh flood of tears. "so that means she'll be reborn, right Mama?"
I looked up with hope, before crashing back down again as soon as I saw Acacia's sad, tear-stained eyes shake from side to side. "Elin is a royal Asgardian by birthright, but she- she didn't have our powers, Tamsin." Acacia tried to explain as gently as possible as I howled in pain.
"I don't care, you're the Queen, you can send her soul back." I snapped, standing from the chair as I paced the room, blood still staining my grey top. "I'll go to Valhalla right now and get her if I have to." I threatened to break the Valkyrie code, the most unbreakable code of honour in the nine realms.
"She isn't in Valhalla." Papa quietly and stoically interjected the conversation, his arm wrapped firmly around Acacia as she tried to bite back the bitter sting of all of this.
"Wh-what do you mean?" Bo asked with bleary eyes, her hand still clutching Elin's little hand firmly.
"Where in Asgard is she?" I growled, throwing my coat on. "I want my baby."
"She wasn't a Valkyrie and she wasn't a Succubus either, she was special." Papa began to explain, scratching his long beard. "I can't be sure, I've only met one Fae like her before…" he pondered his words.
"Hurry up and spit it out!" Bo growled, ready to take on the God of War if it meant getting our girl back.
"Well, we think she might be an Earth Fae..." Trick interrupted, his hands still shaking as none of us could make sense of this, why this had to happen to our sweet, gentle girl. "More specifically, we think she might a Theron."
"Theron, as in the Greek-god?" Bo's lips trembled.
"A frickin' Earth God is the best idea you could all come up with?" I roared, "She hasn't even shown her powers yet! She could still be human for all we know!"
Acacia pulled me into her arms as I kept trying to convince myself this wasn't happening.
"I know it's not easy to take in right now, but with all of our powers combined in her lineage, along with Hades..." he sighed, not eager to remind anyone that Satan is the kids Grandpa. "We think her powers were that of the Theron." he tried to explain as slowly as possible.
"That would explain why her tests came back inconclusive, you see on a biomolecular leve-" Lauren pondered before Bo jumped into the conversation again.
"As great as this brainstorming session is, where is she?" My wife interjected.
"I'm so sorry." Trick whispered, his eyes brimming with tears as he gripped Bo's other hand. "I'm so, so sorry Bo."
My body shook and my chest heaved as I retched in between tears, Kenzi's arms wrapping around me so tight like she was afraid I'd float away. "That means her soul has returned to the Earth." my voice quivered.
"Her spirit will be in every rain drop, in every blade of grass, on the frost at every mountain peak…" Trick mused with the bitter sting of tears as he tried to comfort his only granddaughter, holding Bo tight to his chest as her face contorted into pain that I knew I'd never be able to heal. "But she was just too young to have inherited her powers yet…"
"She was only five." Bo cried, the past tense was forcing me to burst from Kenzi's tight embrace, I launched across the room at my wife, holding her with all the strength I had as I willed away every ounce of pain weighing heavy on her heart.
"You can save her Trick, write it into blood law." I pleaded, collapsing to the ground as I kneeled at his feet. "You've done it before Blood King, unwrite this all." I pleaded, bowing my head at his knees begging for his help.
"I'm not the Blood King anymore, you know that." he tried to explain through a stutter, with wide and shocked eyes, but he was cut off by the hectic beeps from the monitor attached to Elin amongst the thousand other wires coming out of her skin.
"Get a crash cart!" Lauren shouted down the hall, snaking her stethoscope over Elin's chest "You all need to wait outside." she said with sad and heavy eyes.
Fear was wild in Bo's face as she jumped to the bedside "No, I won't leave her." she protested, grabbing her lifeless hand and kissing the palms as I searched Lauren's face for an explanation. "It's okay, Mommy's here." I heard Bo whimper, pressing Elin's hand into her cheek like she did when she was a baby crying in the night.
Before I knew it, doctors were piling into the room with yet more equipment as Lauren prised Bo's hands away from our fragile daughter. "Bo you need to wait outside, I promise I'll be out as soon as I've helped her." Lauren reassured us, I grabbed Bo and held her, our knees weak as Kenzi grabbed her other side to stop Bo collapsing.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
"Do you want me to go and get Sif?" Acacia asked as we sat in the cold, white washed walls of the waiting room.
"No." Bo whimpered as her head rested on my shoulder, "She doesn't need to see this, not again."
My blood ran cold as I wondered how Bo coped when my body gave up after I gave birth, I wondered whether my body would give up once again when this was over with, but I knew I couldn't do that, I couldn't leave Bo alone to face all of this. I glanced at Trick once more as he sat with my papa, both of them with their heads in their hands. "Write it into blood law Trick." I commanded, my voice low and broken from the heartbreak.
Acacia knelt in front of me, rubbing the knuckles of my hands until I finally moved my white hot stare from Trick, down to her sorrowful eyes. "You know he can't do that Honey, if she was in Valhalla I would go and get her myself but…" she cut her sentence off without finishing it, unable to say 'she's gone.'
A cough drew all of our attention as Lauren stood at the door, her eyes red from tears as my heart pounded through my chest, doctors don't cry, doctors aren't supposed to cry.
"I need to speak with Bo and Tamsin alone." she broke the silence with a gentle voice, stepping forward to join us all as the group looked around each other.
"We're not leaving." Dyson interjected, wrapping a burly arm around me.
"It's okay, they can stay." Bo insisted, her fingers snaking around my own as our hands locked so tightly waiting to hear what we knew was bad news.
"The force of the trauma fractured her skull and broke nearly all of her bones…" Lauren forced herself to say in the most professional voice she could muster as I dry heaved listening to her words. "She went a very long time without oxygen and it stopped the blood travelling to her organs, and because of that, she-" her professional facade soon faded as the words stuttered out of her lips. "She's braindead. The machines are keeping her breathing but one of her lungs has collapsed, it's filling with blood and she's going to keep crashing until we can't stabilise her anymore." her voice stammered, as she sat in the chair facing us. "The effort it takes to bring her back around is very hard on her body…"
"What do we do?" Bo trembled, searching my eyes for an answer I didn't have.
Lauren grabbed her other hand, pulling Bo's attention back to her as I felt my mind grow numb. "There's nothing you can do, except be brave and help her through the next part…"
"We'll all be there for you…" Dyson whispered to me, squeezing me tight as I sat with my thoughts for a moment.
"We need to do this by ourselves." Bo spoke up, her hand never leaving my own as I stroked her head.
"If that's what you need, that's what we'll do." I comforted her, knowing how desperately she needed me right now. My eyes drifting to my papa who sat with a blank expression on his face, the way he always does. "You know if it wasn't bad enough that you didn't so much as shed a tear when we buried my sister, or even turn up when I was on the brink of death, you sit there with that stoic bullshit look plastered over your face-" I began to rant as Dyson pulled me away, squeezing my shoulders.
"Don't worry about that right now, go and be with Elin. We'll take care of everything else later." he promised, his own eyes brimming with tears. "Give her a big hug from uncle Dyson." he forced a tight smile.
"I'm- I'm sorry." I heard my papa confess as I ushered Bo down the corridor with me.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Lauren disconnected all of the wires, turned the machines off and told us she'd be right outside if we needed her. We dressed our little one in her favourite pyjamas, and we both laid in the bed with Elin in our arms.
"I will find you." I whispered into Elin's dark curly hair, her skin cool and pale against my own as I instinctively pulled the blanket around her. "We're right here." I promised, holding her tight. "Sif loves you so much Pop-pop's, and Aunt Kenzi, Uncle Dyson, Grancacia, Pappy, Grandpa, they all love you too."
"How did this all happen?" Bo choked, pressing her lips against Elin's little hand. "One minute she was eating lunch, and then the next she was gone."
I pondered her words for a second, the infliction of pain with each syllable swirling around my head. "It was my fault, if I'd of just gone outside with her instead of making her watch Sif, none of this would've happened." I hissed, the words tight in my throat.
I felt her hand gently squeeze my shoulder as she kept an arm firms wrapped around Elin's waist. "You can't think like that, none of this was your fault." she sniffled, before her attention focused back in on the small fry in her arms. "Please wake up." she pleaded, "We love you so, so much." she told her through a broken, quivering voice. A voice I've never heard her use before. "Wake up her up Tamsin."
"Wh-what?" I stuttered, instinctively holding Elin tighter at the thought of doing that to her.
"When you nearly died, Acacia woke you up and Sif brought you back…" she smiled, like she had the best plan in the universe. My heart fractured into a thousand pieces knowing I'd have to snatch this glimmer of warm hope from that fragile place in her heart the grief was eating away at.
"No." I shook my head, "I won't do it Bo."
Bo's face dropped as hurt burned away in her eyes, "Why? We can save her..." she pleaded. "...and even if we can't, at least then we can say goodbye."
"Do you remember how Lauren said she wouldn't have been in any pain when she-" I paused to catch the wind that left my chest, "when she left?" I asked, careful of my words.
Bo nodded her head, before her body tried to inhale a breath that her lungs wouldn't accept.
"If I wake her up, it will hurt her" I pulled Bo in closer to me and kissed her head, holding her tight. "believe me, if I could save her, or bring her back just for a few more minutes, I'd do it." I choked, pushing all the hurt and pain deep down inside. "But it would be selfish to make her suffer just so we can say goodbye."
"What do we tell Sif?" she asked.
My eyes grew wet again knowing Sif had no idea what had happened, I imagined the conversation I'd have to have with her, I imagined the resentment she'd have for me, the ache in my chest that would burn every time I saw Sif without her little sister there too. "I'll talk to her, she can stay with my Mom until we figure things out…"
"There's nothing to figure out Tamsin, she's dead." she sobbed, looking down at the blue lips where the rosiest shade of pink used to live.
I didn't even notice Lauren had came back into the room until her stethoscope snaked over my daughter's little body. "She's gone." she finally said, her arms wrapping around Bo's shaking frame as I let her words settle for a moment, still in a state of shock. "I'm so sorry I couldn't do more Bo." she whispered, "I'll give you some more time with her." she added, before stepping out of the room again, the minute the door closed something snapped inside of Bo. The gut wrenching cry that radiated from her chest wasn't like anything I'd ever heard before, it made me want to throw up. I held Elin in one arm and Bo in the other as I prayed to all of the gods to give us the strength to get through this.
Just as her screams subdued into cries, the door to the room swung open and yet another nameless nurse entered with a gurney, it took me a second to register the body bag on the bed as I felt Bo's body freeze. 'They shouldn't make body bags that small.' I thought to myself.
"Get her out Tamsin, I'm not ready." Bo shook, wrapping our daughter up in her arms as she refused to let go. "Tamsin get her out!" she shouted again, refusing to look at the body bag as the nurse stood like a deer trapped in headlights for a moment.
"You better get that bag away from my wife before I put you in it and throw you off the top floor." I growled, letting my Valkyrie face come to the surface as I wondered how much doubt and misery I would have to cast to get this pain out my chest.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't think anyone was in here." the young nurse profusely apologised, wheeling the bed back out of the room as I let my face go back to normal. Wrapping my arms around them both as I tried to hold us all together for just a little while longer.
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
You'd be amazed by the things you can plan in a week, you have all the time in the world to teach your children how to ride their bike, how to swim, there's time to plan your daughter's birthday parties and sleepovers, in fact, you have your entire life to help plan her wedding. Until the unthinkable happens and you have to plan what dress you're going to bury your five year old in. In the space of a week we went from planning dinner to planning on following a tiny coffin into a packed stave church. Coffins that small shouldn't exist.
"What clothes are you wearing to funeral Thursday?" I asked Tamsin, poking my head around Elin's bedroom door as she laid curled up on the bed with her face pressed into her favourite teddy bear, the drawn curtains stopping the light from illuminating the room as I barely made out her heaving chest shaking on the bed.
"Does it matter?" she asked with blank teary eyes.
"No." I answered honestly, "I guess it doesn't."
Tamsin and I had spent the last week taking it in turns to be strong for each other, when she needed to break down I was strong for her and visa versa. Neither of us really slept anymore, whenever I closed my eyes all I heard was Tamsin squealing for help and all I saw was Elin freezing in front of the car and turning just in time to see it speeding towards her.
"Has Sif called yet?" Tamsin asked with hopeful eyes, bringing her knees up to her chest as I sat next to her.
Sif is still angry that we hadn't let her go to the hospital, she was angry at Tamsin, angry at herself, angry at everything. 'Let her come and stay with us where she can process everything?' Acacia had offered, Tamsin didn't have much choice but to accept with Sif constantly trying to run away to her Grancacia's anyway.
"She hasn't called yet, but she will soon." I tried to comfort her, rubbing her arm as she closed her eyes.
"It hurts so much Bo." she whispered.
"I know it does, it doesn't feel real yet." I sighed, picking up Elin's drawings that lay strewn over her colouring table, one picture in particular catching my eye. "She drew this one for you, remember?" I offered a teary smile, pushing the picture in front of her as I practically saw the numbness behind Tamsin's eyes.
She glanced down at the drawing of a blonde stick woman with bright green eyes, holding hands with a little stick person with curly brown hair and the same green Crayola eyes. Her stare hovered over the word Mama written in bright pink felt tip pen.
"Do you remember when she was a newborn baby, and she'd cry to wake me up for a feed every hour?" she began to smile a sorrowful smile, "You felt so guilty that I was getting no sleep that you'd already have an express bottle ready so you could feed her when she woke up crying…" her eyes moved up from the drawing and found my own stare as I smiled at the memory. "She'd start whimpering and you'd pick her up and hum that song to calm her down whilst she fed. It used to make me so happy when I caught you doing that." she wiped a rogue tear away with the back of her hand.
"I remember that." I tearily smiled, remembering what a tiny little baby she was. Her little legs sticking out of a diaper that swamped her.
"I miss it Bo, I miss it all so much." she sobbed, clutching the picture to her heart as she laid back down.
"I miss it too." I whispered, crawling next to her so I could hold her for a while.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I couldn't help but listen in on the phone call between Acacia and Tamsin as I moved around the kitchen watching the horses outside, busying myself and distracting my mind so I didn't have to think about Thursday. Rule number one of warfare, always focus.
"Tyr, can you talk to Sif and see if she'll speak to Tamsin?" Acacia asked as she walked behind me, her hand resting on my forearm as I sighed.
"Can you talk to Tamsin and see if she'll speak to me?" I asked, scratching my long beard as Acacia ran her hand over my braid. Tamsin hadn't spoken to me since the day at the hospital, it's not that I can't see why she's upset, I do. It's just hard to explain your reasoning to someone who doesn't wish to understand. Rule number two of warfare, no consorting with the enemy.
"How are you… feeling?" Acacia asked, stepping round to face me as I brushed off her concern.
"Fine." I replied, my stare focused out of the window in front of me.
"Fine?" she asked rhetorically, tears brimming in her eyes as she fought not to cry. "You know, her baby pictures are upstairs… maybe if we took them to the Great Halls we could ask the elders to do something…" she sighed, drying her eyes discreetly.
I let out a gruff sigh, my boots pounding the floor back and forth as I tried to distract myself from the ache in my chest. "I am the God of War and you the Valkyrie Queen, we are the elders, Acacia. There's nothing that can be done." I said, clenching my jaw as I tried to bite back the emotion in my voice, desperate to hide how much my heart bled for my granddaughter. Rule number three of warfare, spare no thought for the fallen until the battle is over.
"There has to be something we can do!" she shouted, her blood boiling as I tried to recall the last time I saw Acacia upset. "There has to be something we can do, she is our granddaughter Tyr, her mother is a Valkyrie, I am the Queen and you, well- you used to be the God of War,but I don't know what you are anymore." she hissed, her hands clutching the side of the counter.
I loved Acacia with all of my heart, I knew she was my soulmate the day that we met and my job was to protect my family, to protect Asgard and most importantly, to keep her happy. I can't remember how old I am, but I don't feel capable of doing any of those things anymore. There was always a quiet dignity in our marriage, there were no I love you's or brash shows of emotion, Asgardian men do not cry, Gods do not cry, I do not cry. Rule number four of warfare, no crying.
I wiped away the single tear that rolled down my cheek as Acacia froze, witnessing this brazen disregard for my code of honour since she put Tamsin in my arms when she was a newborn baby.
Maybe that's why I love that woman so much, instead of smothering me with attention and comfort, she simply placed her forehead against mine and handed me the dagger from my belt. "Sif get down here, your Pappy is going to teach you how to throw a knife." she shouted up the winding stairs. "Go and take it out on the target board, we can come up with a plan to fix this later."
"I promise you Acacia, if it's the last thing I do. I will fix this." I growled, following my eldest granddaughter out of the back door.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Everybody out." My deep voice rumbled like thunder, ducking under the doorframe as my stature made it difficult to navigate around this hobbit bar, my boots pounded the wooden floor boards as the Fae sat around drinking took one look at me and scrambled for the door, cleaning out the Dal Riata.
"You always did make an entrance Tyr, what can I do for you?" Trick sighed, placing a beer glass on the bar.
"No beer today, get the hard stuff." I nodded, "I've come to see you because I want to know what can be done, and I don't want nothing to be the answer."
Trick gestured me to follow him as we walked to his lair. "I can't write it into blood law Tyr, you remember better than anyone what happened last time." he said, gesturing for me to sit down as he placed the bottle of bourbon on the side table. "How is Sif?" he asked.
I poured myself a glass without waiting, before sitting back in the chair. "She's doing a little better now that we're out of the 'I hate my parents.' stage, it was her idea that I come and see you in fact." I explained, taking a sip of my drink.
"Why would Sif tell you to come and see me?" he puzzled, unsure on where this conversation was leading.
"Apparently, Grandpa Trick knows how to fix everything." I rolled my eyes, taking another sip. "How are Tamsin and Bo?" I asked with uncertainty, that familiar pang of grief hitting my heart as I remembered why it was I was here.
I watched Trick's pulse quicken underneath his skin and knew he must of felt the ache in his heart too. "They're as good as can be given the circumstances… you should go and see her Tyr."
"No, she doesn't want to see me." I mused, my heart heavy with that familiar ache. "I'm her Papa, and when she was younger I was her hero," I smiled, recalling memories of a little Tamsin running around in my battle helmet and sword. "and I need to fix this, because crying and telling her how sorry I am for her isn't going to bring back that sweet baby." I choked, coughing away the emotion in my voice.
"I wish I knew what to do, but the Light don't keep archives on the black arts of resurrection, I heard rumours once of a book in the Dark library about that kind of thing." he paused for a moment as an instance of clarity washed over him and his heart ached again at the reminder of what we'd lost "...If I could bring back my great granddaughter, believe me Tyr, I would do it in a heartbeat." his eyes began to water as he put his drink down on the side table. "I'd open my veins and spill every drop of blood if it meant bringing her back, but she wouldn't be the same little Elin. My powers have a way of making things worse, believe me." I stared into his eyes to weigh up whether he was telling the truth, but I could tell he was a broken man, maybe I was too.
I nodded my head, gulping down the rest of my drink as a gruff sigh left my lips. "That's what I feared you would say Blood King." I answered, walking towards the door to hide the tears that were brewing from this fight I couldn't win, before making my way upstairs to pay someone a visit.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"What the Hell do you want?" I hissed, storming into the kitchen where Bo and my father sat opposite one another. I'd heard them talking, I tried to stop myself going downstairs to see him for myself, but curiosity got the better of me.
"I wanted to come and see you..." he said with all the emotional conviction of a baked potato, his eyes blank like they always were.
"Well you've saw me, now leave." I quietly ordered, every fibre of me wanted to breakdown and cry, but when your father is the God of War, emotions aren't something you're raised to handle with normalcy. "You haven't spoken to me since she- she died. I don't want to see you right now."
"Tamsin…" Bo whispered, stretching her hand out as I crossed my arms and shook off the cloak of grief that was about to weigh me down again.
"No, Bo." I choked, "I told you I didn't want to see my father."
"Du vil alltid være min datter..." my father interrupted, standing from his chair with his arms wide open. "Eg elskar deg."
I let the words play in my head, they were words I used to say to the girls when they were babies, You'll always be my daughter, I love you. There was no amount of Norwegian in the world that would make this situation better or take the grief out of my heart. "Why are you here Pops?" I asked, taking a step closer towards them but nowhere near ready to hug it out.
"I talked to Sif earlier…" he sat back down, "she's doing better."
My heart suddenly lifted a little bit, eager to hear more as Bo reached out and squeezed my hand. "She misses you Tamsin." she said, rubbing my knuckles with her thumb.
"Really?" my eyes moistened, "She wants to come home?" I asked as I turned to my father, my voice lifting.
"Yes we had a talk about everything, she knows that what happened wasn't anybody's fault." he explained, his eyes softening slightly. "I've never been good at emotions, I suppose it's not your mother's strong suit either, but we love the girls very much and I'm sorry I've let you down." he apologised.
I nearly fell over from the shock of hearing my father say sorry, my eyes watering before he pulled me in a bear hug so tight I couldn't get away. "This is all my fault." I cried.
"Don't say that!" Bo's voice trembled, "Don't ever say that, none of this was your fault."
"I'm a Valkyrie, I've guarded over battlefields since the dawn of time and I still couldn't protect my family." my voice quivered, the burning in my chest rising to the tip of my throat. "I miss her so much Pops." I said quietly, resting my head on my dad's shoulder as he hugged me for the first time since I was a little girl.
"I'm going to fix this Tamsin, I just wanted to come here first so that I could say-" he paused, his gruff voice sighing as he squeezed my hand. "Just so I could say I love you, very much." he smiled, his eyes watering.
"I love you too Papa." I hugged him back.
He turned to look at Bo for a moment, swallowing as I watched him muse on what to say to my wife. My father wasn't a man of many words and I can count on one hand how many times he's spoken directly to Bo in the last ten years, I was curious to hear what he'd say.
"In the world we come from, emotions aren't to be discussed. Our infinite lives are built around war and bloodshed, but I am thankful Tamsin has made a different life with someone who loves and cares about her the way you do, Succubus." he stoically admitted, holding his palm out to shake her hand.
"Seriously Dad?" I groaned, closing my eyes. By the time I opened them again Bo had jumped out of her seat and wrapped her arms around my father in a tight hug.
"We're family, we'll all get through this together." she promised, pulling away to pat his shoulder.
"Please take care of her." he muttered almost inaudibly, "I lost a daughter, and then a granddaughter, I can't lose her." he snivelled, his eyes growing watery and red as my chest felt tight, like I was drowning in the wake of destruction left behind.
"I need to lie down." I added, the idea of burying a coffin so small made me want to throw up and yet the image of that tiny white box was stuck in my mind again.
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
I'd marched forward through the Forest of the Damned, determined on paying a visit to one more person before I returned home to Valhalla defeated. I'd marched for at least an hour until I came to a fork in the path with a dishevelled wooden shack in between, it had been so many years since I'd visited this house and more importantly, the woman who lived inside.
"Oh Tyr, I've been expecting you for at least a week now." she devilishly grinned, appearing from behind me as I drew my blade. "Oh put that thing away! Is that how you treat old lovers?"
"Norn, let's make one thing straight. I'm not here to discuss the past." I growled.
"Well, we best go inside then." she smirked.
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Of all the people I thought I'd never see, how are you Tyr?" the Norn smiled a wicked toothy grin, her long nails clicking against the coffee table as she waited for me to sit down. "What can I do for you?" her eyes studied me between thin wefts of frizzy white hair as I thought about how much she'd changed since we were once young.
Of all the places I swore I would never visit again, this witch's den was at the top of the list, but there's something unnatural about the thought of putting such a tiny box in the ground, especially when you have lived as long as I.
"I don't have all day, what do you wish to discuss?" she interrupted my thoughts as I pondered on what to say.
"My granddaughter passed away, I want her back." I said to the point, no beating around the bush as I somehow remained composed saying those words out loud.
"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear." she laughed, her eyes lighting up as she revelled in every second of this agony. "First there was that naughty daughter of yours who tried to switch to the light, and then a naughty five year old who didn't think to stop and look left or right, so you come to me again?"
My blood boiled at her words, my eyes narrowing as I imagined how quickly I could snap her neck with just one twinge of my strength. "Enough of your games Norn, what can be done." I hissed.
"Do you remember when you first came to me when that daughter of yours died?" she pondered, "Do you remember what I said?"
I looked to the floor, I remembered that day as clear as any. "You said that you and only you alone could bring back a soul that had moved to the next plain." I recounted.
"I see you do remember the last time we spoke, remind me, what was the cost I asked of you last time?" she urged, leaning closer to stare into my eyes.
"You wanted me to trade my life for Sif's." I spat, the rage creeping up my throat again as I recalled our last encounter.
"Ah yes! The old switcheroo! And you couldn't do it…" she laughed, "Tell me Tyr, when Tamsin called your first granddaughter Sif in honor of her, did it make your heart twinge with that deep ache? I wonder if Tamsin's heart will always ache when she's reminded of poor, sweet Elin…"
"Shuttup." I spat, threatening to draw my blade as her eyes caught the shine from the metal. "You want my life? Take it, so long as you bring Elin back." my voice rumbled like thunder.
"What if I want Acacia's life in exchange for Elin's?" she mused, standing up and walking towards a pot that bubbled furiously. "Or better yet, what if I want Sif's life instead?"
I drew my sword and let out a roar that echoed for miles around, "I am the God of War, and unless you start speaking to me with the due respect I've earned. I will start cutting pieces of you off, and believe me, they'll be pieces that you miss." I snapped.
"Now, now Tyr. You're starting to sound like the Blood King." she rolled her eyes, sitting back down in her wooden seat as she gestured with her hand for me to join. "I've known you far longer than since you care to think, I've known you since we were children, I stopped knowing you the moment you chose that bitch over us… and In all honesty, I don't particularly care for whose life you offer for trade. What I really want is for you to beg for it."
"Pardon?" I asked with bemusement.
"What I really want more than anything, is to see the great God of War, beg for my help." she laughed, "call me a simple pleasures kind of gal, what can I say?"
I growled again and narrowed my stare. "Please Norn, I am begging for your help." I forced myself to say out loud, cringing at every word.
she rolled her eyes, lamenting my performance. "You can do better than that Great God of War! I'll give you one more chance, and if you don't impress me, I will refuse to help you."
I stared into her eyes, knowing she was telling the truth. "Please help me." I said quietly and earnestly, "They think I don't care, but I would give anything to have her back. I love my girls more than anything, more than the Heavens, and I didn't protect them. Please help me." I pleaded, my eyes growing wet with tears as I thought back to the first time I held Elin, she was so tiny, just like Tamsin. "Please take my life in exchange for my granddaughter's." I said solemnly.
"Well, since you asked so nicely…" I waited for her to play one of her tricks, to snatch away the glimmer of hope growing in my old and frosty heart. "I agree to your offer."
Her eyes glazed over white and she began to chant a language so old that even I didn't understand it, I wondered what she was doing until I began to feel the Earth and the Heavens shake, my skin tingling and my heart beating faster as the chanting grew louder in my head.
"What are you doing?" I asked to no reply.
The chanting grew louder and louder, the world around me trembling, I felt my body begin to sway and before I knew it I'd hit the ground, I tried to get back up but darkness consumed me.
. . . . . . . . . . .
"Pappy."
"Pappy!"
I grunted as my head began to spin, until I registered a very familiar voice calling my name.
"Wake up Pappy!" I opened my eyes to find two big green orbs staring back through masses of curly dark hair, pulling on my beard. I opened my mouth to say something, anything. But the words just wouldn't come. "I missed you Pappy!" she grinned, throwing herself into my arms as my eyes drifted up to the Norn staring over us.
"Am I dead?" I asked quietly, holding the little one in my arms so tightly incase this was all a trick.
The Norn smiled that wicked smile, stepping closer towards us with her wooden staff, "Not yet." she said, her eyes narrowing as I threw her a confused look. "I didn't specify when I would take my end of bargain, you're free to leave." she almost congratulated me, banging her staff on the floor as the old wooden front door swung open.
"I don't like that lady Pappy she's scary." Elin whispered, throwing her face into my neck as I stood up, holding the child close to my chest.
"When will you come for my life?" I asked stoically.
She cackled and clapped her hands in delight, licking her lips as if she was feeding on my uncertainty. "Isn't delightful? A God, who doesn't know his own fate." she laughed, "Maybe I'll take your life in a thousand years, maybe I'll collect it in ten minutes time, who's to know?" I lowered my head, the realisation that I would live to return home, to explain to Acacia the deal I had struck. "Oh you didn't think it would be that easy did you? Of course I'm sending you back, I wonder how heartbroken Acacia will be knowing every second with her great and all powerful husband is on borrowed time." she laughed.
I swallowed back the bitter pill in my throat, thankful for the healthy and very much alive child in my arms. "I won't forget your generosity Norn, thank you for your help." I said, bowing my head.
I looked up for a moment, something other than hate, maybe uncertainty reflecting in her eyes as a God bowed before her, thanking her for her help. Perhaps it reminded her of a time when her heart wasn't filled with hatred.
"Can we go home Pappy?" Elin asked me quietly, "I'm hungry."
I laughed and laughed, the chuckle escaping my gut rumbled, it was definitely her. "Of course we can Princess, I love you very much." I smiled, putting her on my shoulders as we walked out of the shack.
"Will you stay for dinner when we get home Pappy?" she asked absentmindedly, playing with my braid.
"Sure, if I have enough time." I frowned, thinking on the Norn's words.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
"Hi." I smiled, my heart racing through my chest as my mom guided Sif into the kitchen.
She looked at me with hesitant eyes, looking back up to Acacia for reassurance before she stepped closer towards me. "Hi Mama." she said, her eyes watering.
I felt Bo's hand rub my shoulder as I stayed as still as possible, worried that if I moved too fast or tried to hug her it would be game over. "Get over here and give your mothers a hug." Bo offered a sorrow tinted smile, opening her arms as Sif ran and crashed into us, sobbing into my top as I smoothed back her white blonde hair, trying desperately to keep it together. "I miss her so much." she cried.
"We miss her too." Bo's voice quivered, before Acacia quickly joined and wrapped her arms around us.
"I'm sorry I got angry and said those mean things." Sif whispered, holding me tight as my body tensed up recalling her angry words...
'This is all your fault, you're the reason she's dead!' they were the words that taunted me late at night when I couldn't sleep, the words that crept up on me when I least expected it and suffocated me. I don't think I'll ever forget those words.
I pushed the pain aside and squeezed her back, "It's not going to be easy, but we're going to get through this." I cried softly, sitting down at the table as Sif, Bo and Acacia joined me. "You know, when I was younger I had a little sister too…" I sadly smiled, Acacia's jaw tightening as I recognised the heartache that comes with losing a child. "and she died too, so I know how much it hurts and you can always talk to me about it." I said, before glancing back down to the table.
"We will always have each other." Bo comforted our daughter, wrapping her arms around Sif as she stiffened momentarily, and then relaxed into the embrace.
"It's my fault Mom, I promised I'd always take care of her." she reasoned, before curling herself into Bo as tightly as she could.
"It was nobody's fault, not your Mama's, or Mom's, or yours…" Acacia paused, a mixture of sadness and grief washing over her as she refused to cry. "or Elin's."
Something inside of me snapped, I think I finally cut the cord that was tethering me to reality as I closed my eyes and heard Elin's laughter.
"Hi guys, can we get pizza? I'm hungry." I heard the voice as I kept my face pressed into my hands, the delusions clouding my thoughts. "Hi Mommy, I missed you."
I kept my eyes clenched tight, afraid to open them as the silence of the room between these delusions grew deafening.
"Tamsin…" I heard Bo whisper, nudging me as I breathed a deep sigh. "Please tell me I'm not going crazy and you can see her too…" the words flew out of her mouth as if she could barely contain them.
My eyes shot open and I snapped my neck up to look around, my eyes falling on one person in particular, one person who shouldn't, couldn't have been there.
"Hi Mama!" Elin grinned, running towards me with open arms as I looked to the rest of the table for reassurance that I wasn't imagining this, they all looked as surprised as I did.
"Hi." I barely choked out a whisper, my eyes wide in astonishment as she stopped just shy of me and cocked her head, a pretty bow sitting in the top of her curly hair. "You look so pretty!" I laughed through tears, her little eyes staring back at me with confusion.
"Why are you all so sad?" she asked, looking around as Bo sobbed and Sif stared in shock.
"We're not baby…" I laughed, kissing her hands and pulling her into my arms as I thanked every god, in every far away world who listened to my prayers. "We're just so happy you're back, the world was just so sad without your laughter." I explained, tickling her sides as giggled, "See? The world is so much happier now."
I looked up to the table where Bo sat still in shock, her hands trembling as Sif got out of her chair to come and see for herself. "I think you better go and give your Mommy, Sister and Grancacia a big hug, they've missed you so much."
"Mommy I missed you!" Elin shouted, running to climb up onto Bo's lap.
Tears exploded down Bo's cheeks as she squeezed Elin tight, her chest shaking as she tried to form words. "Hi baby." she grinned through wet eyes, "I missed you so much!" she laughed, pulling her into a hug again as she rocked her back and forth.
"Sif!" she screamed with excitement, pulling her big sister into the hug too as I sat back for a moment and let my heart take it all in. "I was sad that I couldn't draw pictures with you when I was away." she frowned.
Sif laughed and squeezed her little sister, "I missed you so much Pop-pop's, don't ever do that again." she whispered, tears running down her cheeks.
Acacia grinned with watery eyes but sadness lingered in her eyes, like she knew this was all too good to be true. "You went to see her didn't you?" she turned and asked my father, who stood quietly in the doorway watching in.
He walked towards her, frown lines in his forehead as he bent down to kiss her cheek "I'm so sorry Acacia, but I told you I had to fix this one way or another." he replied.
"How did you get her back? What happened?" I asked, alarmed to see the bitter sting of tears in the corner of Acacia's eyes.
"Mommy, I'm hungry." Elin mused, rubbing her little tummy as Bo let out the kind of happy laugh I never thought I'd hear from her again. "Can we get pizza?" Elin asked without skipping a beat.
Bo looked at me with happy eyes, that trademark warm grin plastered on her face as she hugged both our girls. "What do you think Mama, can we get pizza?" she playfully asked, Elin's best puss in boots eyes landing on me as she waited to hear the verdict.
I grinned and pulled my cellphone out of my pocket, "First pizza, and then I want to know how this all happened." I said, turning to look at my parents through a narrowed, questioning gaze.
"Pappy is staying for dinner tonight, he promised he'd eat pizza with me." Elin informed us all, jumping down from Bo's hug to sit in my father's lap.
"Sure Sweetie, we'll stay for pizza." Pop's smiled.
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
Elin wolfed down the food like she'd never seen a carbohydrate before, passing me her plastic plate as she waited impatiently for me to load her up with more pepperoni pizza and mozzarella sticks. "Maybe it was a good idea we got four extra large pizzas and four sides afterall…" I thought aloud, sitting her on my lap as we both scarfed down on our food.
"No mystery about where she gets her appetite from." Bo smirked as I practically inhaled the toppings off of my slice.
"Mama can me and Sif watch Frozen and eat our pizza?" Elin piped up, still chewing her food.
Sif's eyes perked up as she hurried to swallow down the mouthful of food, "Please!" she whined, shuffling on her chair.
Bo stood from the table and cleared her plate away, "Sure, just make sure you come and get us when Mama's favourite song comes on." she grinned, the pair of them shooting off into the living room with their pizza before she barely finished her sentence.
My cheeks burnt bright red as Acacia looked at me in disgust, "You gave me shit for three weeks for singing Let It Go, and now it's your favourite song?" she hissed.
"I have to like the song! The kids at their school think I'm Elsa!" I growled back. "Why did we have to go as Elsa and Anna to that damn birthday party?" I huffed at Bo.
"As great as this conversation is, are we going to keep avoiding talking about Elin?" Bo interrupted the bizarre normalcy of all of this.
The room fell silent for a moment, nobody really wanting to speak as my father sat with a worried look on his face.
"How did you do it Tyr?" Bo asked quietly, as if she didn't really want to hear the answer.
Acacia's eyes honed in on my father, like she knew something awful was about to fall from his lips. "I paid a visit to an old friend and made a trade." he brushed off, looking back down to his plate.
"What do you mean you paid an old friend a visit?" I asked, racking my brain as I tried to think of who my father could have possibly saw.
"The Norn." Acacia spoke up, her words caught in her throat as I did a double take at my dad.
"Tell me you didn't." my voice rumbling as a thousand possibilities of what deal my father could have made to get Elin back ran through my head.
He cocked half a smile, raising his hands to calm the room as Bo looked at me with perplexion. "Who is The Norn?" she asked, joining us at the table.
"Think Maleficent from Snow White and you're on the right track." I quietly told her, squeezing her hand as my stomach trembled waiting to hear what the catch was.
"She's also your Father's first wife." Acacia bit, crossing her arms. "She'd do anything to hurt this family, why would she give us Elin back?"
"Because I traded her my life for Elin's." he sniffed, brushing it off as if it was nothing.
My jaw practically hit the floor as I watched the pain clutch at Acacia's heart. "You- you did what?" she asked, her eyes desperate to believe that she'd misheard what my dad just said.
"I've lived since the dawn of days, I'm very old girls." he smiled softly, "It was the only thing that could be done to bring her back. The Norn didn't tell me when she would collect my soul, it could be a thousand years from now." he tried to lighten the air as Acacia's teeth grinded and she clutched the knife in her hand until her knuckles grew white.
"Why did you do it Dad?" I asked, blinking away tears.
"Because you're my little girl, and she's your little girl. I refused to cry, because crying is admitting defeat." he affirmed, rising from the chair to pull Tamsin into a hug. "I am your father, and I my job is to keep you, the girls and your mother safe." he whispered, "and I will keep doing that at the cost of my last breath."
"I love you Papa." I wiped away a rogue tear, holding him tight.
I pulled away as Acacia stood from her chair too, not saying a word. She walked towards my father, her hands resting on his forearms and her head pressed against his. "You're angry, I know." he smiled.
Her jaw clenched slightly as she swallowed back the pain, "I'm also very proud, I take back what I said yesterday. You haven't changed since the day I met you." she half smiled, "You're still a royal pain in my ass."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Hey!" Bo grabbed my attention at the bedroom door, I laid curled up on our bed in my boxer shorts and t-shirt, knowing both of my daughter's were safe and with me once again had flicked the switch on the part of my brain that didn't let me sleep for the last week.
"Hey." I smiled back, my eyes drifting over the curves of her body hidden under that silk kimono. I opened my arms as she came and crawled into my embrace. "I love you, so much." whispered gently into her neck as we laid still for a moment whilst Elin got ready for bed.
"Are you going to read Elin's bedtime story tonight, or can I?" she grinned, that warm happiness that Bo always radiated back in her smile where it always belonged.
I rolled on my back as she placed her head down on my shoulder. "Put the little scrappy one in our bed tonight with us." I said absentmindedly. "The bigger scrappy one is already asleep." I tiredly yawned.
"Tamsin…" her voice crept into that concerned tone, her head lifting so she could look me in the eye. "I know you want to keep the girls safe, but making Elin sleep next to you is a little too overprotective." she advised, leaning down to kiss my cheek as I raised the bridge of my nose.
"I know." I replied, wrapping my arms around her. "I just want us both to be able to read her a story." I explained.
Right on cue, little eyes stared at us from behind the half ajar door. "Mommy…" Elin whispered, her voice a sugary sweet octave meaning she was about to ask for something. "Can I sleep with you and Mama tonight?" she asked.
Without skipping a beat I opened my arms wide as the pitter patter of her feet across our floor fastened and she leaped onto the mattress. "I thought you'd never ask Pipsqueek." I laughed, pulling her into me close between Bo and I.
"Baby your hair looks so pretty but why don't we take that bow out for bed." Bo suggested, her hand moving to pull the bow out of Elin's thick dark locks before her little hand slapped her away.
"I can't Mommy, not yet!" she pleaded. I looked at the pink ribbon, wondering where I recognised it from as Elin scooted closer into my body. "Sif gave it to me when I was away." she answered.
Bo's eyebrows furrowed in perplexion as her eyes glanced up to find my own confused gaze. "Honey, Sif was with Grancancia and Grandpa all week…" Bo tried to explain.
"No Mommy!" Elin sighed, throwing her hands in the air with exaggeration before she flopped back down on the sheets. "Auntie Sif in Heaven." she smiled. My mouth went dry as I took another look at Elin's hair, more specifically that pretty pink bow, and my little sister who wore one just like it when we were kids. "Auntie Sif said I had to wear it for Mama and tell her how much she loves her." she grinned, her eyes lighting up like a lightbulb as an afterthought went off in her head. She rolled over to face me, her little hand pressed to my cheek. "Mama, I forgot to tell you, Auntie Sif says she loves you very much."
I bit back the emotion in my voice as a tightness around my heart that I'd carried for such a long time loosened just a little bit. "Thank you, that means so much to me that you remembered." I smiled, eager to praise Elin on her recollection skills.
"She said I had to give you this-" Elin pulled the Bow from out of her hair and placed it in my palm, "She was super nice Mama, she looked just like you and she let me play with her hair, but it wasn't as pretty as yours." she grinned as I held the soft piece of ribbon in my hand.
"I have an idea." Bo chimed in, scooting up the bed as she clambered under the covers. "Why don't you play with Mama's hair, and you can both tell me stories about Auntie Sif? I've never met Auntie Sif..." She said with intrigue, in fifteen years my sister was the only topic I never spoke of.
Without hesitation Elin clambered up the bed and pulled the hair band holding my bun in place, her fingers combing through my white blonde locks as I couldn't help but laugh at her eagerness. "Mommy she was so pretty, she looked just like Mama but she was much nicer…" I couldn't help but let the loudest of laughs burst from my chest as I thought back to how sickly sweet my sister Sif always was. The kid doesn't lie.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I looked to the clock on the bedside. 2.45AM.
I'd stirred from my sleep and couldn't help but take a second to appreciate the adorable sight in front of me, Elin was curled up at Tamsin's side with her Mama's arms wrapped around her protectively. The inside of Tamsin's forearm being used as a pillow as I pulled the quilt over them both. The movement stirred Tamsin slightly as she pulled Elin closer to her, instinctively leaning down to kiss the top of her head subconsciously before she passed out again into a deep sleep. "Maybe her being overprotective isn't a bad thing afterall."