This is going to cover all of the new seasons, so it's going to be a long one. Thanks for sticking with me, though!

I don't own Supernatural in any way, shape or form. That includes Jensen Ackles' form. Sooo hot…

Chapter Nine: Life is a Car Wreck

Lucifer. The Horseman had given him an ultimatum to send to Lucifer of all people. He could just see the reunion now, complete with flaming swords and spit that doubled as poison. There was no way he was going to even try breaking through the demon horde surrounding his brother just to give him a message that would kill him even more painfully than the demons. Not that Gabriel had a choice, of course. It was just nice to think that he had some illusion of freedom and self-respect left that he wouldn't even think of trying to find his homicidal brother, but the truth is? Gabriel had to.

It was his job, his life, his calling, whatever. He had to or it would be like this itch that he could never scratch. Gabriel just couldn't ignore it! Sighing, he literally dropped Dean onto Bobby's couch and started tracing Lucifer's tainted grace. It wasn't hard, as he had left pieces of it in a clear trail through at least thirty-six states and most of India. He wanted to be found by anyone who would be foolish enough to try it. Like Baldur the Brave, Brawny and Bigoted idiot who had apparently won the heart of the Goddess Kali even though it was obvious the witch didn't have one. Eh, well, he failed anyways. No use crying over spilt low-fat milk.

Getting through the demons was surprisingly easy. They reacted amazingly well to his treasonous whispers as they fought and tore limbs off of each other in a quest to be Luci's right hand man. As amusing as it was, the message he carried was distracting and he made his way hastily through the doors of an abandoned house in the woods. Very cliché, in a Freddy Kruger kind of way. Gabriel stopped and bowed silently to the closed doors, grinning widely as he sauntered carelessly through the dilapidated front hall. Whistling under his breath, he thought, Wow, the water damage repair must really be a bitch. It's worse than that hotel starring the cockroach kick-line and the beetle bartenders. I've gotta say, Luci really went downhill.

Gabriel didn't even knock before bursting through the door the grace was hidden behind. Lucifer's vessel looked like it had contracted some horrible skin disease, basically withering away from the inside. His brother really had gone downhill, a hill with extremely sharp rocks and pointy angel blades. Wincing at the stench of rot permeating in the air, he whistled in astonishment as the blood-clotted eyes whipped around to look at him. "Um, Luci, I'm no doctor or anything but I'm pretty sure the human is dying. Or dead, either way makes it harder to move. Say, has rigamortis set in yet? Is that why you can't stand up? By the way, when's the last time you ate? The vessel has to eat three times a day or it dies. Or gets cranky. Either way isn't fun to deal with. So, getting to the point, how are you, Luci?"

Lucifer just stared at him. No emotion could be seen from his angle, so Gabriel tilted his head a few times just to check. Wait…nope. Nothing. Sighing gustily, he sat down in a chair and shrieked when it immediately collapsed underneath him. An automatic pout drew a chuckle from his brother and Gabriel looked up in awe. The new vessel's hair got into his eyes, hiding an amber orb from view. Lucifer crouched down and swept it away gingerly. The devil blinked his reddened eyes a few times then started crushing Gabriel in a massive bear hug. Soft squeaking sounds were forced out of his throat as the vessel's lungs started losing air. Absently wondering if this was a new kind of torture technique, Gabriel patted his back feebly and wheezed. This was the reason road kill wasn't a cologne. A little too…outdoorsy for just about anyone.

Well. It was getting awkward now. Gabriel was pretty sure his brother was crying now, a damned scary thing to see since last time it had happened was the Fall. Still, he put up with it until a bloody-tear streaked face was lifted from his permanently stained favorite jacket. Lucifer reached out a hand to stroke his hair and pulled him close. Letting out a muffled hurmf as his face was crushed against surprisingly hard muscle, he wondered if everyone had a fetish for his hair. So far Michael, Raphael, Aziraphael, Tarael, Joshua, God, Champiel and Castiel had ran their hands through it. For the love of all that was holy, barely a week has passed! A week! Now the devil himself had a hand brushing through it and he started to wonder what would happen if he didn't have any. Would they rub his bald head?

Lucifer laughed loudly and Gabriel realized the Fallen Star had been reading his thoughts. Pouting in what he hoped was an annoyed face, he whined, "It's true! Everyone is always touching my hair! When I was a fledgling it was Joshua. Now it's caught on and apparently, I'm the only one who didn't know!"

Laughter dying off suddenly, Lucifer hugged him hard and he whispered painfully, "I'm sorry, Gabriel. I thought it was just another illusion. If the very thought that you were helping the Winchesters instead of tricking them occurred to me, you wouldn't be dead right now. I-I just want to go home, Gabe. I miss the light and even stick-up-his-ass Michael. I-"

"Hey, uh, Luci? I'm not dead."

The blubbering stopped as his brother looked at him incredulously. Then he was dumped onto the floor with an unceremonious thud as his brother stood up and walked away, shaking his head and cursing him under his breath. Eyebrows furrowed, Gabriel wondered where he'd seen this before and took off after Lucifer. As amusing as it was to see the look on that face, he still had a message to deliver. As soon as he opened the door, demons stopped their squabbling and stared at him hungrily. Hanging his head, Gabriel sighed and half-heartedly raised a fist in the air. "Curse you, Death! Curse you back t…aw, forget it."

Simply by opening his wings, half of the demons were incinerated by the pure light of the grace he was radiating. Only half, which left at least three hundred to go. Snapping his fingers, twin blades appeared on the other side of the clearing. Gabriel dropped his jaw and realized that Lucifer truly had a sick sense of humor to make his little brother fight with his bare hands through a horde of acid-blooded demons. Either that, or he had forgotten they were here and just ignored them as he walked through. It was more than likely he had walked right through them. I always knew life was a highway, but does there have to be a car wreck every three miles?

Amazing. Looks like the high demons were starting to close in. Wait, is that a dragon? Apparently it was because Gabriel got a gust of putrid and highly toxic air blasted into his face. Gagging, he summoned a breath mint and shoved it down. Then he got about three thousand more and forced them down. The results were interesting, to say the least. Who knew that the critters could only eat flesh? Making a face and sluicing away the exploded stomach acid from his face, Gabriel promptly punched the nearest demon in the face and started moving. Inch by inch, hour by hour, he got closer to demolishing the foul smelling things his brother had lived with for a few millennia. How, he didn't know. Gabriel might be able to time travel but he didn't actually want to find out.

By the time he reached his glowing swords, two days had gone by and he was sweating like a human in the middle of an open desert. Angels don't sweat! Pissed wasn't an accurate way to describe how he was feeling right now. Hell, Gabriel might have already missed the Apocalypse! Panting, he dragged himself through another door only to find Lucifer freshly showered and eating a piece of toast. That was just…odd. There he was, covered in Demon juice while his big brother reads the newspaper eating jam on toast. Snarling in an excellent impersonation of one of his hounds, Gabriel lunged forwards and snagged the offending piece of bread. Flinging it out the window, he ignored Lucifer's surprised grunt when two of his fingers prodded harshly art his forehead. Rippling spread through the skin as the message relayed itself.

Lucifer, you pompous, spoiled little brat, I'm afraid there's some bad news. Not only has one of you're favorite pets turned on you, but my brothers have failed to keep the worms from taking their rings. As such, I took my chances and handed mine over for a deal. You WILL fall, Lucifer. You are a little boy having a tantrum because he didn't get what he wanted just one time. I. for one, am not going to be led by an incompetent baby. I am DEATH, for crying out loud! Therefore, I look forward to seeing you sometime after the Winchesters put you back on time-out.

Worst of luck, Agremmon

Gabriel blinked to see a fist aimed directly at his face. There wasn't enough time to block it so guess what? There's going to be a pretty purple shiner there in about three days. Inching back slowly, the messenger took his chance and flew away. Demons screeched angrily as the scent of a powerful angel got fainter and fainter until it wasn't there anymore. Only then did they realize that they had lost their prey. Lucifer stormed out of the house as it disintegrated in his wrath only to grab the necks of two demons and growl, "Find him!" before storming off somewhere in the forest. Not even an idiot would follow.

Now miles away from the forest, Gabriel rubbed a hand over the bruising eye and healed it. In fading light, he could still make out the scene of Team Freewill drinking and planning somberly for their demise. Sighing softly, he couldn't help but think of everything that could never happen because of the paths that were taken. If Mary hadn't been a hunter, the boys would have had a normal life and normal families. Gabriel would still have nothing but it didn't matter. Things much greater than him were at play everywhere in the world, places with too few hunter and believers to make a difference. Places where not enough people cared about the old ways and worshipping God Almighty for all that he had created. The big things that no one could change.

Ruffling his wings, the messenger took off and landed sitting down on the table. Grinning widely at the shocked faces, he snorted when all three guns went off. One bullet to the head, one to the chest and one to the….oh. Um, the one place a man should never be shot. Eye twitching, Gabriel slowly slid off the table to clutch that certain spot and whine miserably. Atripholkolyke couldn't of done any better than the watery puppy eyes he was making. Three parts pain, one part misery. Stir it all together and you get a nearly crying archangel who's had a very bad day and an even worse family reunion. Who knew if Lucifer was telling the truth when he said he missed home? Maybe Michael could forgive him.

"Balls! I though ye said he wasn't comic back! Damn near gave me a heart attack," grumbled Bobby.

Silently fuming, Gabriel stood up slowly and smiled when Castiel leapt out of his chair when the blood and gore became visible. "Just paid Luci a visit. Gotta say, he looks like he should have been six feet under about six weeks ago. I'm pretty sure he's gone all rigamortis-y so it might be a little more painful when he tries to take over Sam. Oh, and Samantha? Work on the aim, alright? I'm begging you, kid."

Castiel looked him over and stated with a casual head tilt, "You don't seem to be injured."

Snorting, he replied, "I've been fighting Demons for two days straight, Cassie! Of course I took the chance to heal myself. Would you rather I looked like something dropped in a blender? Because even though there's seven hundred and forty-nine less demons in the world, the remaining ones will be happy enough to take out a chunk of angel flesh. Now excuse me while I wash the Demon blood out of my mouth."

While on the way to the bathroom, Sam caught up with him and asked, "Could you bring their blood back here? If I'm going to hold Lucifer, Bobby said I need to drink it."

Gabriel was indecisive. Should he laugh or curse? Automatically tilting his head, he asked, "You sure about this?"

When the boy nodded, Gabriel had no doubt that he was going to be dragged to Hell fifteen times and back by the time this fight was over. Whatever the angels might say about humans didn't seem to cut it with the Winchesters. Mary died to save her husband, John died to save their son, Dean died to save his brother and Now Sam was going to die to save the world. Talk about lack of self-preservation…

Realizing Sam was still there, he sighed wearily and snapped open his wings. Demon's blood. He was willingly going hunting for demon's blood. Father owed him big time for this.

Coming up next is Swan Song, possibly the saddest episode in supernatural. I cried. I don't cry. EVER. Review, please!