Yet again there is not a thing to do, so I shall try to write a chapter directly involving Gabriel's past. There's this movie with a demon called Legion, which may or may not be called Legion, that I am taking this from. It won't have as much humor in it and as I have this listed under angst, though there is a distinct lack of said genre in the story, it's my current goal to add a bit. There. Okay, here's the actual chapter.

Chapter Twenty One: Mea Culpa

There are many things even an archangel has never seen. For instance, Michael hasn't seen Lady Liberty while Lucifer was too into the whole world destroyer thing to give a flying fuck about anything the big blue marble had to offer. Gabriel, however, had thought he'd seen it all. Until Dean forced him and Sam to see some guy trying to make the world's biggest rubber band ball. Not that he actually wanted to see it, mind you. In fact he was one elastic-sounding snap away from becoming brain dead due to lack of proper entertainment. Sam had fallen asleep by the two hour mark and he suspected this was Dean's way of getting them both out of the hotel room for reasons better not left to the imagination. Not that he was complaining about actually being warned rather than walking in on it like he did three days ago. Gabriel was actually very thankful for it. But he could have at least picked out a movie and dropped them off at the theatre. This was just…mind blowingly terrible. The stuff that only Michael likes

You know it's bad when even Michael's eyes start to glaze.

Big brother's dubious entertainment methods aside, he was also grounded. Literally. After the latest incident involving Michael's poor fighting force and several jars of Mayonnaise, it had been a unanimous agreement that he would stay out of Heaven for at least two weeks while the hotheads cooled down. If he hadn't had his wings and grace temporarily bound by Lucifer, Gabriel would have been gone in a heartbeat. It was a bitch because his wings were itching terribly and he had the urge to break his promise to his brothers and kill the man with a giant elastic around the throat. An ominous rumble of thunder with lightning that was a startling shade of red told him exactly what Michael thought of that. It also struck the rubber band ball and melted it down to a puddle just as the guy went to tear open a new package.

Ignoring the wide-eyed Sam, Gabriel closed his eyes and nearly burst into grateful tears. Since he was all but human now the only way to thank God for the sudden miracle was to drop to his knees and scream, "'tis the will of God! In the name of the archangel Michael, I command you to cease your efforts…and get a life. Seriously, you're what, twenty three? Go find a girlfriend and have sex in the backseat of your parent's car for all I care just don't. Try. Again."

At this point he remembered that he could, in fact, walk to somewhere else as there was nothing binding his legs. Although there were some men in clean white coats that he was 99.9% sure were here to take him away Gabriel was just about positive he could outrun them. Sam? Not so much. He was so drowsy his giraffe legs were getting tangled just about everywhere. On the other hand, he did manage to get a lovely brunette's number after Sam accidentally knocked her over and he oh-so-generously caught her in his arms. Never mind that he still looked a year or two above the age of puberty, he was still damned sexy. On the off chance the lady was a cougar well, at least she wasn't a pyromaniac sociopath with a tendency to burst into flames. Not to point fingers or anything. He'd done worse.

The crowd was much bigger than it had been five minutes ago because of the strange lightning and others were drawn by the wails of misery from the college kid running the show. Humming and innocently pushing people out of his way with enough force to push a tank on it's side, Gabriel made a very effective path through the hysterical crowd as well as the growing number of nuts falling to their knees and screaming, 'the apocalypse is nigh, my brothers!' They had missed that one by a few good months and God forbid it happen again. If it did, someone was going to die. Well, obviously because the first was started with a war. And not the kind with fuzzy pillows and hot cocoa afterwards, either. Why do things never make sense in my head? Gabriel whined silently.

They made it to the edge of the crowd without too much bloodshed. The full-on riot going on behind them was an entirely different story. Feeling insanely proud of his power-free chaos, Gabriel skipped happily all the way to the hotel room with a lacy polka dot bra hanging festively off of the knob. Sam promptly turned around to pay for a new hotel room while he stared indecisively at the wall. Should he risk seeing something he had no wish to ever witness or sleep in the hallway? The sounds coming from the room, after three hours, mind you, were still going strong and showed no signs of stopping. If he could rush blindly through the room then he had some hope but that's only if he didn't trip on the jumble of hideous furniture. That's also assuming Dean was on the bed.

Gabriel chose the hallway.

Up until around three in the morning when a couple decided they couldn't make it back to their room and did it in the doorway of the room next door. Is everyone getting laid tonight but me? This theory was proved right when the old couple down the hall got frisky and seared his retinas with things even worse than Purgatory. That was the last straw. Covering his eyes miserably, he stumbled around the hotel looking for Sam's room while tripping over multiple coitus-seeking couples. Let's just say it was worse than when Lust and Gluttony partnered up in the old days. Those poor, poor cherubs. Who knew trying to get one couple together would end up with an orgy the likes of which Rome never saw? Raphael's counseling service had skyrocketed.

Thankfully, Sam opened the door before the guy currently staring at him like he was the current Messiah could do anything Michael would smite him for. He wasn't against gay marriage or the stuff that comes before and after that, but it was preferable if he wasn't a part of it. Or if he was, then not being raped by the guy. Just thinking that brought horror first and foremost into Michael's little corner of his mind and Gabriel couldn't help but grin. Big brother should have seen the orgy in Norway. The feeling grew until he laughed out loud although he was still trying to get the man off of him so he could go through the door. Sam thankfully decided to punch the guy straight in the face and after about five minutes of dodging grabby hands, Gabriel made it through the door. Sam opened his mouth but was quickly cut off. "No, Lust is not free and if he was, he wouldn't be in the same hotel as an archangel who could kick his ass three ways to Christmas in less than a second. And no Dean isn't with me. I've gotta say, using libido to kill is a pretty strange way to hunt unless you're a succubus."

"So, it's a succubus?"

A sigh. "Did I say it was a succubus? No. Those bimbos can only seduce one or two men at a time and even then she can't kill them. Just put him in a coma with no immune defenses for a month or two. Hey, does this remind you of the syrens in Huntington Beach? Dean was doing the exact same thing he's doing now."

No comment. That was okay since neither of them wanted to remember the sounds coming from that hotel room or the night spent in the Impala. It was a wonderful car, just not such a good bed. Not to mention the nightmares of what had probably been done in the backseat. Sam put on a bitch face and started working on his laptop while Gabriel dared to take a peak outside the peephole. In this case, he really was taking a peep and it was hard not to feel awkward looking out at the massive 'social meeting' going on right outside his door that he wasn't a part of. Now there was a sense of awkwardness coming from Lucifer that was entirely too terrifying since he'd watched the demons from his cage for a very, very long time and they weren't exactly discreet. Of course, that went away when he met the bloodbath going on in the hallway. Jaw slightly open in horror he hadn't felt since the Fall, he watched the people outside drawing knives from nowhere and stabbing each other all while still kissing heavily. Blood stained the hideous carpets that even through the murder, Gabriel could take a moment to express disgust for. Still, not the point.

"Shit, shit, shit! Shit, fuck, shit, fu-wait. Never mind. SONUVABITCH! Sammy, get a move on and grab some holy water while you're at it! Come on!"

Racing through the door and taking as many precautions as he could against the knives sucking light just from it's very presence, Gabriel sprinted up two flights of stairs quicker than he thought possible and kicked down the door. Dean, thankfully, was wearing boxers and trying to get Siamese twins off of his chest. Both were giggling like little girls while holding a freaking samurai sword above his throat. They weren't even distracted by Gabriel and Sam tearing them away until they were swiftly choked out and laid on the rumpled bed. The archangel looked out the third story window with trepidation and wished his brothers were here. Or more importantly, his wings.

There wasn't any more time to waste, which became apparent when several naked men and women rushed through the door. After a quick wince for the pain this was going to cause, Gabriel put a hand on both boy's backs and gave an almighty shove before diving after them. It must have looked like something out of an action movie except for the small fact that they were their own stunt doubles. And there was no cushy landing. Sam landed in a trash bin, Dean landed on a homeless man and Gabriel? Face plant on the pavement. There was an audible crunch in his left leg and a feeling of breathlessness accompanied by extreme pain, not to mention the blood gushing down his face. Groaning wearily, he bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw even more blood when the boys thoughtfully dragged him to the car. They were apparently unharmed other than a lot of scrapes and bruises.

Oh, happy day.

Gabriel was shoved in the back with Sam looking at him pityingly. Which Sam, he had no idea in the slightest since there were at least three of them. He believed this was what was called a concussion. Delightful thing, that. He was feeling all fuzzy until the idiot decided it was the perfect time to set his nose back into place. A wet crunch was all it took to bring him back to full awareness. He wasn't exactly happy with that either. There was an agonizing ache in his ribs and leg that throbbed in time to his heartbeat. A whimper escaped his throat. See, it wasn't so bad when he and the vessel were separate but since Lucifer effectively bound him to become a human he experienced pain like them, too. Which sucked like hell. Gabriel must have blacked out because when he opened his eyes next they were back at Singer's Salvage. Blearily glancing around, he met a pair of sky blue eyes staring worriedly at him from the opened door of the Impala. All he could manage was a slight twitch of his lips before the blackness came rushing back.

The last thing he remembered was musing, And I used to be afraid of the dark…

Waking up wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. There was only a mild sense of pain when he sat up and no voices screaming in his head. Wait. There were no voices screaming in his head. Michael's blunt thoughts and Lucifer's sarcastic remarks were no longer floating around in his mind and it was bloody terrifying. Even when he banished himself from Heaven it was never quiet. Against his better judgment, he curled up into a ball and hugged his chest in a full-out panic attack. Tears made shimmering tracks on his cheeks as flashbacks of his first few centuries completely alone seared his eyes and forced him to let loose a heart wrenching sob. Castiel slipped easily into the room and wordlessly started to stroke his head. The fledgling's lips moved but Gabriel didn't hear the words. He was lost.

He was always lost.

The Commander is frozen…

In Heaven, everything was quiet too. Not a cherub spoke or flew or laughed, not a holy ghost stirred while the angels stood completely still. Seconds later an almighty scream blew through the perfection of their home shortly followed by two others. Ariella didn't join her brothers agonizing grief. She flew high and fast, simply watching as her heart shattered into billions of pieces. This was her way. The angel of protection couldn't save her poor big baby of a brother from the emptiness they were all feeling. They couldn't even find him.

Michael was furious. Too many times had he let his family down in some of the worst ways possible. Even thinking of what he had done to Gabriel made his blood boil as he wished to Father there was a way to change places with him. Raphael fell into despair. He had nothing to feel guilty about but the feeling of helplessness and the fact that he couldn't even comfort the family he had with him was taking it's toll. That was usually Gabriel's job and he was terrible at it. However, that didn't even touch upon what Lucifer was feeling. No, not at all. For the one archangel who had felt the crushing insanity of isolation there were too many emotions to describe. Pain, disbelief, angst, despair, heartbreak and the sense of failure were only a few. After all, he had been the one to bind Gabriel's grace and wings. Who could have known this was what would become of it?

Heaven was in a panic. Not only was their messenger gone but there was also an incredible darkness covering the earth so completely, not even Michael could pierce it. It was moving quickly and had consumed most on the northern hemisphere in the few hours it had been visible. The most worrying part was it's voice. Whatever it was spoke in absolute gibberish that not even Gabriel could understand. But Metatron could. The angels of prophets looked so young yet there were shadows in his eyes as he watched the earth wearily. So much had changed and so much was the exact same as it had always been. There was evil on God's most spectacular creation and an even greater one was taking advantage of it. A very familiar evil. Raising his eyes, the previously mute Metatron opened his mouth and spoke. It pierced through the chaos in Heaven like a knife, calming everyone with it's undulating tones and causing even more panic when what he said finally set in.

"Children of Cain."

Lucifer closed his eyes in anguish but they flew open immediately when he came across a bright spark in the planes of his mind. Gasping quietly, he ignored Michael's questioning glance when he opened his wings and drifted over the clouds. Slowly, slowly, the spark grew brighter and he allowed Michael access to this miracle. The other archangels quickly followed and as one, dove through Heaven to pierce the blackness. Their combined grace forced it to recoil like a living thing as they forced themselves to touch down on the earth. Crunching over metal and glass, the archangels ignored the looks they were getting from street goers to follow the light.

Justice is corrupt…

There was no golden glow where he was. Even in Hell there was a glow. Here, there was nothing. Like Purgatory. Nothing. No light, but there was life. Monsters put away for safe keeping until a time came that they were ready to be faced. Now wasn't the time. Not in the slightest. Gabriel wasn't even sure if his eyes were open or not but he was pretty sure he was crying. Crying. It tasted like salt. There wasn't any rust so it couldn't be blood. Why was he crying? He couldn't remember. Was he in pain?…no. There was no pain here. There wasn't anything. If he was in Purgatory then shouldn't he be afraid? Weren't there things to be scared of in Purgatory? There. There was pain. Then there was detachment and he couldn't recall who he was anymore.

More pain. More detachment. It was different this time. A voice pierced through the nothing. Words. Things that make sense. A touch, one so familiar that he went through the motion of scooting closer for the warmth. Who was this that brought warmth to a place so numb with cold? Something brushing…what was that, his wings? Fingers. Fingers were brushing his wings. Not Michael. He wanted Michael. Or Lucifer. But Lucifer was gone, gone, gone. Fallen to earth and into a cage that he, himself, had made. He missed his brother sometimes. Before he fell everything was beautiful and kind and Michael still loved him. This was all dad's fault. But the humans were so different. Imperfect. Such flaws. Why did they have to bow down to things lower than themselves? Gabriel thought they were fun. Fun to play with and easy to trick, yet they made such beautiful things. How does something ugly make such beautiful things?

A finger was running down his cheek to wipe the tears away. This touch was different and not so familiar but he remembered, sort of. Human…Sam? Who is Sam? He wanted Michael. A sound buzzed far, far away and it didn't sound like it was supposed to. Like comparing a chainsaw to wind chimes. Somehow it was still kind of beautiful. Deep and rough but promising enough. It wasn't his brother and didn't speak of safety or love, though. Where was Michael? He wondered where Castiel was. He wondered why it was so dark here. He wondered many things that had no answers. Something was speaking to him now. Gabriel searched for it but couldn't find who was talking. The sounds made words, things that made sense to him now.

Man's time is ending.

Why? It's just started.

Because you love them, angel.

I do?

Yes, angel. You do. You fought and died for them and condemned me to suffer for eternity. All for them. Don't act innocent. You know what you've done.

…done?

Archangel Gabriel, bringer of justice. You of every deity in Heaven should know how it felt. Left in someone else's shadow for something you never meant to happen. Jealous of the love your brothers have from your dear, departed father who art no longer in Heaven. Yet never powerful enough to just reach out and…shall we say, take it? Take the things your God cares about over his angels, his perfect creations and you will be all he has. Show him how you feel.

You want me to kill them.

Yes.

No.

Why?

…because I love them.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Lucifer led them. It had been a dream of his before he left Heaven corrupted with wrath and jealousy to lead his brothers instead of the golden son, Michael. Now he wasn't so sure. It didn't feel right for him to do this, not while missing a part of him just as precious as his wings. Or ever, really. Michael understood and stepped a little faster to walk with him and Raphael, marching shoulder to shoulder. This was how it was supposed to be. All equals. None more beautiful, stronger or smarter than the other. It had taken him much too long to realize this.

The humans weren't all bad. Now that he looked he could see incredible amounts of pure emotions, like the elderly couple holding hands and gazing into one another's eyes still very much in love. Siblings in the park with the eldest holding his crying baby sister while patching her torn knee. A man taking a severe beating for his friend so he could get away, at every cost to his own health. Love, trust and loyalty. These creatures had free will and though some chose to use it for the good others corrupted themselves. Hate, anger, lust. Yet all these things were in Heaven as well. He would know since he had felt them himself. Lucifer couldn't help but be awed by these humans. They were not beautiful on the outside but to look at a child or see a mother cradling her babe, their souls shine through. He had only looked as far as he'd wanted and nothing more.

Lucifer had been wrong.

It wasn't Heaven or Hell. There was no purity or evil here. Like neutral ground. These were children of earth not unlike the Pagans although they had no power. It was refreshing. A hand landed on his shoulder and he turned to see Michael's smile. Lips twitching slightly upward, he murmured, "You are not the only one who didn't see. I only bowed because it was Father's will, as did Raphael. Gabriel, I think, looked much more closely than we ever did and saw this. This is what we are fighting for."

Raphael snickered then. "And for our stubborn baby brother who has managed to lose himself in his own where only we can find him. Just like a fledgling in a cloud maze."

Of course, it was more serious than that but it was a good enough move to lighten their spirits. Their northern star was leading them through the city straight to the edge of civilization. Figures a hunter would live here. Surrounded by trees and old cars, there were enough hiding places in case something came calling to hide hundreds of the stubborn bastards. The house came into view and Castiel's grace became much clearer. Gabriel's was about as clear as mud. It felt like it, too. For some reason it was dirty and definitely not bright enough to belong to their baby angel. Michael stiffened and hissed, "Legion. We should have known he would come for Gabriel if he ever got free."

Legion. The complete and total opposite of the one in Heaven, especially since it was just one demon made up of many. Every murderer, rapist or wrongly accused human becomes a part of him and lends him even more power. Normal angels didn't stand the semblance of a chance against it and Gabriel certainly couldn't fight it on his own. I wonder how Sam will take our reunion.

Mea Culpa is Latin for 'my fault'. Also, just thought I'd leave a cliffhanger here and see who reviews. I do love you guys but I love reviews, too. Hint hint. Double love for my reviewers and I post the prequel featuring baby Gabe. It's sad but awesome. REVIEW!