I do not own Naruto. Sorry for skipping over some details in this one, I'm trying to minimize the oocness and get to the Shika-tema interaction.
XXXKAKASHIXXX
He suddenly looked straight at me, with the look he gets the minute he knows he's beat you at shoji, and said. "That's when you realized you loved her wasn't it."
Huh? This genius has already realized it.
"I didn't know it." I quietly said. " I didn't know… why my heart felt so heavy, why I was so restless when she wasn't there, why my thoughts and dreams were infected by her. I tried to convince myself that she was playing the good ninja role, or perhaps had cast some type of genjustsu . But, her honest kindness kept infecting me. When I was cleared to leave the hospital, but not yet fit for travel ; she offered me the extra room in her apartment… knowing I wouldn't be able to find lodging elsewhere in Cloud. I accepted. Don't get any funny ideas, I was a complete gentleman…we ate meals, did chores, and underwent some light training."
I chuckled in remembrance. "Man she was a crappy ninja. As a medical nin her chakra control was top notch, but she was way too tenderhearted, and she wouldn't channel her complete power to her punches. What she was exceptionally good at was making me feel completely safe and peaceful in her presence. Initially I tried to remain distant and cold, but at the end of our time together I was completely taken by her. It unnerved me to feel so vulnerable, and I left without a goodbye. When I arrived in Konoha, I told myself it would be better to never see her again. "
XXXSHIKAMARUXXX
Usually I'd be bored out of mind by now, but his story struck a chord... my Temari was definitely no crappy ninja, but I knew what it meant to feel unnerved by a woman…not that I would ever admit that. I fought the sleepiness that always overtakes me when I have to listen to someone speak for THIS long, and tried to give Kakashi my best interested look.
He continued with, " I didn't understand until reaching Konoha how difficult it would be to escape her." I looked at him quizzically and he laughed before continuing. "She had completely changed how I looked at life, she changed what I wanted out of life. I had lived and suceeded as a ninja, but now I yearned to live and succeed as a man. I'd stop to pick up a flower on the road just because I liked it, or drag my lunch hour out to two to savor the flavor. I remember the day Asuma attacked me because he thought someone had replaced me. We were sitting on the rooftop of Hokage tower watching this unbelievable sunset when he looked over to me and nearly fell off. Apparently, I was crying."
" Oh brother are you serious. Geez and she calls me a crybaby." I muttered under my breath.
He curtly replied with, "Shikamaru, by your age I had already lost everyone I loved; my father, my teammates, my teacher. At that time, ANBU required us to throw out everything that was considered a weakness: our emotions, attachments, vices, etc. I am largely the ninja I am today, because of that…and I still believe that if one's only goal is to become an unbeatable ninja…it is the only way to attain that. What I didn't realize was that even though I was becoming a great ninja …I was at the same time throwing away my humanity. Until I met her, that part of me wasn't valued. After I met her, it became most important."
"So those tears were you mourning the loss of your humanity? I get it, enough commentary get on with the story." I impatiently stated.
"Nah genius that's where you're wrong. They weren't tears of grief or sadness, but tears of joy. Shikamaru, she didn't make me realize I'd lost my humanity, she reminded me of it. She showed me that life, love, or joy can never be experienced to the fullest, if you push away all the things we as ninjas consider 'weak'. I found that I couldn't return to life as it was before. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't abandon the ninja code, I just … sought a balance. It was then that I realized I didn't want to let her go, and I that I was willing to do anything to ensure she was always a part of my life. "
"Okay, good story … now why haven't I ever heard of her before? She must not visit Konoha often?" I drawled.
"Well we were forced to part ways… she passed away. " He quietly stated. Shaking his head, he continued with, "I was sure I was never going to recover from that. But instead of pushing away my grief as I had done with everyone I lost before, I gathered up the courage and lived through it. At the end of that period of grieving, instead of her becoming a boxed up memory, she remained as a living part of my soul. Even today, she's remains my center. I guess you could say she is my souls' home. While at times I feel the pain of her loss…I can't do medical jutsu for that reason… I mostly know the peace and comfort that her presence provided. You know Shikamaru, loving and living are hard things to do, but undeniably always worth it." He ended.
XXXKAKASHIXXX
I watched the understanding and acceptance settle into his shoulders and then his entire body and thought…it's now or never.
"Would you like to see her picture? I still carry it around with me. It's in my wallet, in the drawer." I said reflecting a smile in my uncovered eye.
He hesitated saying it was too troublesome to walk across the room, but a few seconds later he kage nui'ed the drawer open and flipped over the wallet. I tried to hold in my anticipation and thought to myself…this is going to be good.
XXXSHIKAMARUXXX
I can't believe I'm letting my curiosity get the better of me, I thought as I kage nui'ed the wallet over to myself.
I slowly opened it…"What the HELL!" I angrily exclaimed.
Stayed tuned shikatema goodness coming up