-- Eggman
"So take me back in tiiiime," Eggman sung while reading comics.
"Dr. Eggman," said the main computer, "censors indicate that a goldfish is closer to world domination than you are."
"That can't be!" screamed Eggman. "How can a goldfish accomplish my dream before me?! I bet it didn't even graduate from Princeton."
"Neither did you," stated the main computer.
The main computer was soon dismantled.
"I'll show that fish who's the best around!" howled Eggman.
-At the dumpster behind McDonald's-
"Goldine! Goldine!" said Rachel. "Gossip scouts have reported that Dr. Eggman is on his way to fight you."
"That is a helpful piece of information," said Goldine. "Rachel, you may eat your cat behind the dumpster, and your gossip will not be spread."
"Yay!" said Rachel as she scurried to find a potential dinner in a nearby alleyway.
Goldine rolled her fishbowl to the White House and made the president come to her aid.
Within minutes, Eggman was captured, caged, and in front of Goldine.
"Hello, Eggman," said Goldine.
"You're the fish who's taking over the World through gossip!" cried Eggman. "How did you do it?"
"It's simple," said Goldine. "Everyone has secrets they don't want anyone to know about. Once you know their secret, you have a sort of power over them. You control them with the fear of their secret getting out."
"Ingenious," said Eggman. "I don't like you though."
"I figured that, since your primary intention was to beat me up."
"You're not eggcellent."
"Um, okay."
"Why keep me alive, Goldfish?"
"Gloating purposes."
"Oh."
"Tomorrow, I will have all the World's gossip in my grasp, then my transformation will occur. Then not even Sonic the Hedgehog will be able to stop me. Mwahahaha!"
"He might," said Eggman.
Goldine frowned at Eggman. "Fine, Mr. Pessimistic, 'he might.'"