Sonic powered up and changed into Super Sonic.

"Oh yeah?!" said Goldine. "Knuckles!"

Knuckles ran up. "Yes, Master Emerald?"

"Give me the Master Emerald," commanded Goldine.

Knuckles complied and handed her the Master Emerald.

Knuckles still hadn't processed that he just handed over the Master Emerald to the Master Emerald.

Goldine took the emerald and swallowed it.

"Woah," gasped Knuckles, "the Master Emerald just ate the Master Emerald!"

Goldine glowed white and shrunk to the size of Super Sonic.

"She's devolving!" screamed a Pokemon fan.

When the white glow disappeared, Goldine was a human-size goldfish with a red cape. "You can call me 'Super Goldine.'" She smiled confidently.

"Boo," said Eggman. "Let's go with 'Super Fish.'"

"You can't beat me, Sonic," claimed Super Goldine. "Nobody can stop gossip." Super Goldine opened her mouth and shot out a black beam that hit Super Sonic.

Super Sonic fell to the ground holding his head. He was shaking ferociously.

"That's what I call my 'Gossip Beam,'" she snorted. "Now you will feel gossip at full force for the rest of eternity!"

Inside Super Sonic's head, there were millions of voices whispering things like

"I bet he uses gel to get his hair that way."

"Do you have Super Athlete's foot now?"

"Super Shadow is cooler, because he can wield a gun."

"Hedgehogs don't talk. Your existence is a lie."

Goldine turned to Eggman. "You see, not even Sonic the Hedgehog can withstand gossip." She laughed.

"WRONG!" said Super Sonic as he rose off the ground.

Super Goldine's eyes looked in disbelief. "How can you stand?! Don't you hear all those people talking about you!?"

"So what?" smiled Super Sonic. "You think I'm going to break down because people are talking about me or know my secrets?"

"Yes!" shouted Super Goldine.

"Wrong again," corrected Super Sonic. "So what if people talk about me? Why would I care about people too bored with their own lives so they have to get into or talk about mine? They're the pathetic ones."

"I-I am not pathetic!" said Super Goldine as her temper rose. "I'm going to destroy you and this planet!" She charged forward at Super Sonic.

Super Sonic charged forward toward her, and they collided.

("I hope people still care about me,") thought Eggman.

Goldine exploded, and out popped the Master Emerald.

All the people of the world suddenly stopped gossiping so much and went back to being lazy and irritable.

The End.