Author's note: thank you very much for all your messages and reviews.

Chapter sixteen: What I Really Want

After the weekend she had lived, Jane could finally say that life was perfect. It had taken her almost forty years to reach this state of happiness - of blossoming - but the past wouldn't catch her back. Not this time. She wouldn't let it do that.

She had enjoyed her time with Margot – and once the night had fallen – had found back with an indescribable pleasure Maura's arms. The respectful distance between them in bed had finally disappeared. Their respective sides had joined, had melted. And it had never felt so right.

The doors of the elevator opened. She joyfully walked out of it and headed towards the reception. Ellen was there, this morning. Jane smiled at the woman brightly. They usually didn't speak much but nonetheless had a cordial relation.

"Good morning, Ellen. So what's so important that I needed to go downstairs? You know, I kind of have some work to do, actually." Jane winked and laughed to show the woman that she was only joking.

"Then I apologize and can come back later. I surely don't wanna interrupt something important."

The voice made her freeze. She straightened up immediately and swallowed hard. This was more than just bad timing. Jane turned around and stared blankly at Casey. This was a nightmare. There was no other word to describe it.

What? You'd hoped he'd just disappear from the suface of Earth? Be realistic, Rizzoli! He had to come back at some point. If only he had done so a bit later, though.

"What are you doing here?" She hadn't meant to sound cold – harsh – but it nonetheless turned that way, especially as she did not go for a hug nor anything. Instead, she kept a reasonable distance.

Casey made a step towards her but stopped as he noticed her lack of enthusiasm. It was not really the best place to have a conversation. Ellen was looking at them as if she were following a brand new season of her favorite soap opera and Jane's colleagues were everywhere around.

"Mornin', Rizzoli-Isles!"

Of course. And here we go.

Jane closed her eyes. Five seconds. It had taken someone five seconds to say the only thing that she had hoped nobody would say. More and more confused, Casey frowned at her and immediately got a look at her hand.

"You got married... To Maura?"

End of the perfection of life. Jane shook her head and focused on the door behind Casey wishing nothing but to run away right now.

"It's a long story. Even if you have four or five hours ahead, I don't. There's..." She motioned out the ceiling. "We're quite busy upstairs. We landed a new case."

"Is a five-minute coffee break okay?"

As much as she felt like nothing but rushing back to her desk, Jane nodded. She and Casey had to speak, anyway. She owed that to him.

"Sure... But not at the Division One Cafe. Let's go outside. There are plenty of other spots where we can get our daily dose of caffeine, right?"

Her mother was working, this morning. There was no way Jane would bring her on a silver platter a brand new occasion to gossip about things she didn't know much.

...

As soon as she spotted Jane standing by the door, Maura pursed her lips – tightened her grip on the file she was holding – and straightened up. She had sworn to herself that she wouldn't throw a fit.

Not at the BPD.

She was the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massahusetts, for christ's sake; not a twelve-year-old hysterical teen.

But then she had also hoped that Jane would be nowhere to be seen. She wasn't part of the meeting that was about to start. She had no reason whatsoever to be there. Although she was. Maura took a deep breath and walked towards the door. She had no choice but to cross Jane's path.

"Hey!"

The hand didn't remain on her forearm for a long time. The death glare she shot at Jane turned out to be enough for the detective to take her distance again.

"You... Didn't return any of my messages?" Jane laughed, nervously. She made a step backwards to let other people come in and leaned against the wall. "... Why? You got busy?"

"I am not your Cyrano de Bergerac."

A whispered face-to-face. Maura had always despised these. They made her feel frustrated and she wasn't good at dealing with the whirl of emotions that took possession of her body by then. Yet her remark made Jane smile almost timidly.

"What do you mean?"

Maura rolled her eyes. She had no patience whatsoever; not now. She cast a glance at the officers who were coming in the room and shrugged at Jane.

"Cyrano de Bergerac is a character..."

"I know who he is. I just don't get what you mean. Whom was I supposed to be flirting with that I'd need you to tell me what to do and... And such?" Jane felt uncomfortable. She hadn't expected such confrontation with Maura at all. It didn't make much sense. When the scientist hadn't replied to her text messages, she had simply assumed that she had been a bit too busy. These things happened. "Are you... Mad at me? What have I done?"

Maura didn't reply immediately. She rolled her eyes as her lips began to move in silence. She was hesitating. Finally and after long seconds of uncertainty, she gave in.

"Casey. Everyone knows that he came to visit you, this morning." The confession – hissed between clenched teeth – made Maura herself blush. She looked down but her gaze stopped on Jane's hand. "What did he say when he saw you were wearing a wedding ring?"

Jane shrugged. If the medical examiner's sudden coldness made a bit more sense now, she did not understand it much nonetheless.

"He laughed... But who cares about what he thinks?"

Maura laughed bitterly and raised an eyebrow in disbelief. She seemed taken aback by the question; honestly surprised.

"You don't care what people you date think? Really?"

An officer stopped and looked at her as he overheard the question. Jane waved him to leave them alone before focusing back on Maura. She didn't like the direction that the conversation was taking.

"I... We... Casey and I... We don't date each other."

"Oh, so you just fuck?"

Jane blushed. Maura was smirking but didn't seem satisfy of her own mischievous question. It hurt. It hurt way too much. They slept together and on the very next day, Jane's so-called boyfriend showed up from nowhere.

"I do admit that we flirted a bit and it was blurry but we..." Jane made a step closer to Maura and lowered her voice. "We never slept together." She paused for a couple of seconds but before such silence from the scientist, she felt the urge to add something. "We didn't even kiss!"

Maura snorted. The promise she had made to herself was going away little by little. She was about to make a scene. As a matter of fact, she was making a scene.

They had slept together three nights in a row and she already played the possessive card. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all.

Will you calm down now, Isles? He showed up unexpectedly. You know that. Just as you know how revealing your current reaction is.

"Then why did he come to visit you? Why are you the first person he wants to see when he comes back from Afghanistan? Not even his family... You are his priority, Jane."

"Was. I was. Maybe. Maybe I was. He did come because he held hopes. Yes, you're right about that." Jane ran her tongue over her lips and shook her head. She was in a state of near panic. She hadn't expected Maura to be jealous of something as pointless as her so-called past flirt with Casey. "But we had a coffee this morning and I made things clear. I told him that I didn't want anything with him because..."

"Because what?" Maura frowned. She was too harsh but couldn't help it.

Jane did not necessarily deserve such treatment. She hadn't asked for Casey to show up. Not this time.

"Because all these things he wanted with me..." Jane looked down and laughed quietly at the logic of the words she was about to say. "I want them with you."

Maura remained quiet. Speechless, actually. They hadn't talked about anything yet, not even their possible feelings.

Two days. What did forty-eight hours mean in a life, in a relationship?

Jane had been very brave, here. And bold. Not only were they stuck in a small and crowded corridor where everyone – all their colleagues – could overhear their private conversation very easily but Jane had also made things clear with a bare sincerity. She hadn't hesitated. On the contrary. She looked determined.

"You... You do? Really?" The scientist's shaking voice rose quietly in the air. A delicate murmur highlighting her emotional surprise.

As Jane nodded – all smiles – Maura bit her lips and made a step towards her. She caressed her lover's cheek before echoing her smile. The world had stopped turning. They were both locked in their bubble, so far from the BPD.

"I'm sorry. I... I have been mean." Maura whispered a semblance of apology. She felt incredibly guilty. Touched.

Someone cleared his voice and made them jump in surprise. They turned around – taking distance with each other – only to find themselves facing an embarrassed Lieutenant Cavanaugh. The man looked at the scientist.

"If you're ready, Dr. Isles... We... We're waiting for you. Everyone's here."

Maura nodded and followed him inside but just as she was about to close the door behind her, she locked her eyes with Jane's – as the detective had remained in the corridor – and smiled before murmuring a 'thank you' she hoped would sound as meaningful as what her lover had just said.